Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

A Note to Those Who Want to Get Married Now and a Vow Renewal Later... #2

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Re: A Note to Those Who Want to Get Married Now and a Vow Renewal Later... #2

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  • The whole concept of judgement is just strange to me I guess. Whenever I read or participate in these types of threads I'm always left with the same feeling. The feeling of: Who really gives a shit? I can't imagine going through life trying to filter my plans through a prism of "what will others think?" It's human nature to judge. Ok, fine. But I can't imagine taking other people's two cents with such seriousness that I'm going to change my plans so as to not be judged. What a waste of time and effort. Judge away. Talk shit behind my back. I'd respect the person more if they talked shit to my face of course. But I still wouldn't do or not do something that was important to me because someone else might think poorly of it. At the end of the day I only have myself to answer to. And I'd never want to regret not doing something because I was afraid of other people's opinions. Too much value seems to be placed on other folk's side eye.
    I agree
    This is funny coming from you.
    Well, I already said it before. I don't side eye vow renewals where there is no lying. And I believe also that if a guest finds it so horrendous he or she shouldn't attend. Also, as human beings we need to look for our own happiness. That's what OP did. I'm discussing the thread btw ;)
    You do realize you are agreeing with someone who made no bones about bold face lying to her guests.  You are agreeing with someone who has no problem "not giving a shit" that she lies to friends and family, and doesn't care what others think when the lie is discovered. 
  • rainbows0215rainbows0215 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
  • flantasticflantastic member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited October 2014
    The only other thing I have to ask is why do people who do not agree go to vow renewals, just do not  if you can not agree with what we are doing. Also you will save us money per head if you decide to be truthful to yourself and others.

    When guests choose to do that, the couple shows up here complaining that their parents/family/friends are so mean and unsupportive. Have you ever heard of family pressure? They don't want to ruin their relationship with you over this, but they are well within their rights to be pissed at you.

    People who are doing shitty things to other people just tend to get defensive and upset when their family and friends are honest about how shitty their ideas are. It's not worth it to go there, but they can and should still be mad at you if you treat them poorly. So don't treat them poorly.

  • Okay, you're so badass because you don't care about what other people think.

    But when you invite people to come over to your party that you are hosting, shouldn't you care? Why invite people if you don't care? That just blows my mind. That's like inviting people over for a dinner party and saying you don't care if they have dietary restrictions or if they're having a bad time.

    YOU ASKED THEM to come hang out with you, you should absolutely give a shit in that instance.
  • rainbows0215rainbows0215 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    Apparently I am not  like others if something goes against my principles I do not support it. I live my life honest to whom I am . I feel bad for those who lied to others about there true feelings . I hope whomever you are can truthful in the future with family and friends.  I have walked away from people who are two faced be true to someone stop lying to them just be as truthful as you are on this foram.
  • MobKaz said:
    The whole concept of judgement is just strange to me I guess. Whenever I read or participate in these types of threads I'm always left with the same feeling. The feeling of: Who really gives a shit? I can't imagine going through life trying to filter my plans through a prism of "what will others think?" It's human nature to judge. Ok, fine. But I can't imagine taking other people's two cents with such seriousness that I'm going to change my plans so as to not be judged. What a waste of time and effort. Judge away. Talk shit behind my back. I'd respect the person more if they talked shit to my face of course. But I still wouldn't do or not do something that was important to me because someone else might think poorly of it. At the end of the day I only have myself to answer to. And I'd never want to regret not doing something because I was afraid of other people's opinions. Too much value seems to be placed on other folk's side eye.
    I agree
    This is funny coming from you.
    Well, I already said it before. I don't side eye vow renewals where there is no lying. And I believe also that if a guest finds it so horrendous he or she shouldn't attend. Also, as human beings we need to look for our own happiness. That's what OP did. I'm discussing the thread btw ;)
    You do realize you are agreeing with someone who made no bones about bold face lying to her guests.  You are agreeing with someone who has no problem "not giving a shit" that she lies to friends and family, and doesn't care what others think when the lie is discovered. 
    No, @Mobkaz, there was no lying. Again, no one asked. Apparently no one cared! It never once came up in conversation. Not before our wedding, not during the wedding, not after the wedding. Not even at our AHR. Perhaps marriage license signing isn't the hotbed of excitement for my people as it clearly sounds like it is for other people? Whatever the case, no lies were told. Although I'm not interested in debating what you think is a lie versus what I think is a lie. Because they are CLEARLY two different things.
  • Okay, you're so badass because you don't care about what other people think.

    But when you invite people to come over to your party that you are hosting, shouldn't you care? Why invite people if you don't care? That just blows my mind. That's like inviting people over for a dinner party and saying you don't care if they have dietary restrictions or if they're having a bad time.

    YOU ASKED THEM to come hang out with you, you should absolutely give a shit in that instance.
    To which badass are you directing this question?

    For all the badasses not living in fear of other people's judgement everywhere, I will respond:

    When you invite someone to a party you should host them properly. End of story. But if your guests judge what has been offered, or sit around talking shit about the motives behind why they are being hosted in the first place, yea, fuck 'em. 
  • rainbows0215rainbows0215 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    I think I am the badass because I do not agree with majority of the people welcome to America the land of freedom.
  • I think I am the badass because I do not agree with majority of the people welcome to America the land of freedom.

    You can think you're a badass all you want. But your guests are still going to think you are an AW.
    BabyFruit Ticker

  • MobKaz said:
    The whole concept of judgement is just strange to me I guess. Whenever I read or participate in these types of threads I'm always left with the same feeling. The feeling of: Who really gives a shit? I can't imagine going through life trying to filter my plans through a prism of "what will others think?" It's human nature to judge. Ok, fine. But I can't imagine taking other people's two cents with such seriousness that I'm going to change my plans so as to not be judged. What a waste of time and effort. Judge away. Talk shit behind my back. I'd respect the person more if they talked shit to my face of course. But I still wouldn't do or not do something that was important to me because someone else might think poorly of it. At the end of the day I only have myself to answer to. And I'd never want to regret not doing something because I was afraid of other people's opinions. Too much value seems to be placed on other folk's side eye.
    I agree
    This is funny coming from you.
    Well, I already said it before. I don't side eye vow renewals where there is no lying. And I believe also that if a guest finds it so horrendous he or she shouldn't attend. Also, as human beings we need to look for our own happiness. That's what OP did. I'm discussing the thread btw ;)
    You do realize you are agreeing with someone who made no bones about bold face lying to her guests.  You are agreeing with someone who has no problem "not giving a shit" that she lies to friends and family, and doesn't care what others think when the lie is discovered. 
    No, @Mobkaz, there was no lying. Again, no one asked. Apparently no one cared! It never once came up in conversation. Not before our wedding, not during the wedding, not after the wedding. Not even at our AHR. Perhaps marriage license signing isn't the hotbed of excitement for my people as it clearly sounds like it is for other people? Whatever the case, no lies were told. Although I'm not interested in debating what you think is a lie versus what I think is a lie. Because they are CLEARLY two different things.
    No one asked because I can guarantee that the popular assumption was that your ceremony was your actual, legal wedding. Generally, when someone plans a wedding, it's to actually get married. Why would anyone assume you were already married when you are planning a wedding, in a foreign country, AND with a AHR?? It's also a popular and general assumption that your loved ones would believe that you would be 100% forthcoming with them, so why would they even think to ask you if you were already married? They would think if you were, you'd tell them about it, as there is nothing to hide or be ashamed of. 

    If someone tells you they are pregnant, you believe them. You don't ask to see the sonogram to confirm that what they are saying is the truth. When someone tells you it's their birthday, you believe them. You don't ask to see their birth cert. So, when you tell people you are getting married, they believe you. They really believe that you are becoming husband and wife, not that you already are husband and wife. They believe you because they trust you and have a relationship with you. I know you don't care, but you took advantage of that relationship IMHO.
    For us it took the ceremony that our guests were present for to become husband and wife. The state's new classification of our relationship status was not enough for us. Had it been, we wouldn't have bothered to plan a wedding ceremony, we could have signed then went about life. That's great if that's enough for some people. I wouldn't fault them for it. I guess I needed to hear Mr. Everhart swear to always be my Mickey to his Mallory in order to want to go forth as married. Everyone got what they came for. I'd call it a win-win!
  • KatWAG said:
    I think I am the badass because I do not agree with majority of the people welcome to America the land of freedom.

    You can think you're a badass all you want. But your guests are still going to think you are an AW.
    I guess that was my point - who cares if your guests think you're an attention whore? If someone uses the opportunity of being properly hosted at a party to get their judgement on, personally I think that person is the bigger dick than the person throwing the party, regardless of their motivation. 
  • mrs4everhart You are seriously delusional if you think there was no lying. Omission of truth is a fucking LIE. You were already married for months when you had your destination "wedding". You did not tell your guests that you were already married. 

    THAT'S A FUCKING LIE. 
    Like I said, just signing a license wasn't enough for us. We needed a ceremony to move forward with the whole husband/wife thing. I don't have any qualms with people signing a license then calling it a day. That wasn't transitional in any way for us. That's great if it is for other people. I will never see not discussing when/where/how/whatever we signed our license as a lie. Not then, not now, not ever. If someone had been interested enough to inquire, I would have happily provided them the information that we weren't interested in spending over $1,000 to elicit the same outcome that spending $35 had. I personally wouldn't assume that a wedding ceremony on foreign soil was automatically legally valid. I won't presume to know what or if our guests assumed this, I just really don't think anyone had any shits to give about it. 
  • MobKaz said:
    You do realize you are agreeing with someone who made no bones about bold face lying to her guests.  You are agreeing with someone who has no problem "not giving a shit" that she lies to friends and family, and doesn't care what others think when the lie is discovered. 
    No, @Mobkaz, there was no lying. Again, no one asked. Apparently no one cared! It never once came up in conversation. Not before our wedding, not during the wedding, not after the wedding. Not even at our AHR. Perhaps marriage license signing isn't the hotbed of excitement for my people as it clearly sounds like it is for other people? Whatever the case, no lies were told. Although I'm not interested in debating what you think is a lie versus what I think is a lie. Because they are CLEARLY two different things.
    So let's say Mr. Everhart has someone on the side and he doesn't tell you about it. And because you don't ask him every day "Are you cheating on me?" he's not really lying to you... You didn't ask! So apparently you don't care! 

    The point is that lying by omission is lying.
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  • rainbows0215rainbows0215 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited October 2014
    Please stop calling people whores that implies we sleep with people outside our committed relationship. I f any of you do that your choice not mine I will report you if  I am called a whore again. katWAG this implies you.
  • edited October 2014
    Please stop calling people whores that implies we sleep with people outside our committed relationship. I f any of you do that your choice not mine I will report you if  I am called a whore again. katWAG this implies you.
    To clarify: "AW" stands for Attention Whore. 

    If I wasn't blocked from Urban Dictionary at work, I would copy the link for you. AW is synonymous with "attention seeking person". It implies nothing about sexual preferences or practices.

    ETA: I should also add that people use this when they post pictures of their wedding, or show something off. Head over to Chit Chat to see what I mean.
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  • beethery said:
    MobKaz said:
    The whole concept of judgement is just strange to me I guess. Whenever I read or participate in these types of threads I'm always left with the same feeling. The feeling of: Who really gives a shit? I can't imagine going through life trying to filter my plans through a prism of "what will others think?" It's human nature to judge. Ok, fine. But I can't imagine taking other people's two cents with such seriousness that I'm going to change my plans so as to not be judged. What a waste of time and effort. Judge away. Talk shit behind my back. I'd respect the person more if they talked shit to my face of course. But I still wouldn't do or not do something that was important to me because someone else might think poorly of it. At the end of the day I only have myself to answer to. And I'd never want to regret not doing something because I was afraid of other people's opinions. Too much value seems to be placed on other folk's side eye.
    I agree
    This is funny coming from you.
    Well, I already said it before. I don't side eye vow renewals where there is no lying. And I believe also that if a guest finds it so horrendous he or she shouldn't attend. Also, as human beings we need to look for our own happiness. That's what OP did. I'm discussing the thread btw ;)
    You do realize you are agreeing with someone who made no bones about bold face lying to her guests.  You are agreeing with someone who has no problem "not giving a shit" that she lies to friends and family, and doesn't care what others think when the lie is discovered. 
    @MobKaz all that is from the very same person who went into a totally average review thread of the hotel MrsEverhart had her PPD at and attempted to stir shit up about it for funsies. Apparently, after her flounce, the re-up of her old account came with a change of tune.
    Eeeeeek
    I was agreeing with that specific statement she made. But this thread has turned into attacking and pointing fingers. I do not approve her PPD because of her lying to her guests, I do not care if there is someone who wants to have a do over as long as I know what it is. No lying, no problem. 
    Fine.
    --

    I'm the fuck
    out.

    image
  • From urban dictionary: Attention whore: Label given to any person who craves attention to such an extent that they will do anything to receive it they type of attention (negative or positive) does not matter.
    BabyFruit Ticker



  • MobKaz said:


    You do realize you are agreeing with someone who made no bones about bold face lying to her guests.  You are agreeing with someone who has no problem "not giving a shit" that she lies to friends and family, and doesn't care what others think when the lie is discovered. 

    No, @Mobkaz, there was no lying. Again, no one asked. Apparently no one cared! It never once came up in conversation. Not before our wedding, not during the wedding, not after the wedding. Not even at our AHR. Perhaps marriage license signing isn't the hotbed of excitement for my people as it clearly sounds like it is for other people? Whatever the case, no lies were told. Although I'm not interested in debating what you think is a lie versus what I think is a lie. Because they are CLEARLY two different things.

    So let's say Mr. Everhart has someone on the side and he doesn't tell you about it. And because you don't ask him every day "Are you cheating on me?" he's not really lying to you... You didn't ask! So apparently you don't care! 

    The point is that lying by omission is lying.


    I'm not sure this is a good comparison because in a cheating scenario what I didn't know could very well harm me.

    But I'll go with it anyway.

    If Mr. Everhart were to be cheating on me and I didn't ask, there'd be very little there I suppose. If I were completely ignorant of this affair I'd in essence be unaffected, wouldn't I?

    In this scenario and a million others, I'm not going to worry myself over things I don't know. I'm not actively looking to stir up bullshit in my life. Why would I?

  • Urban dictionary bull crap made up stuff, English dictionary is for real not made up. You are probably. younger and I have seen the urban dictionary it is bullcrap There is a lot stuff that is unreal in that.
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