Changing the sheets

jenna8984

Yup won't lie. About once a month. And it's only because they get all fucking stretched out from our fat asses rolling around. And like lolo, I take them out of the closet so the new ones are never really "fresh". 

behsco90

Every week, only because if I don't, I'll start getting bacne

This may be TMI, and maybe I'm just a germaphobe, but what do you guys do after you get it on....do you just sleep in the sweat and love juices? FI gets sweaty and also sometimes things, uhm, leak when we are finished. I always have to change the sheets after that.

theartistformerlyknownas

behsco90 said:

Every week, only because if I don't, I'll start getting bacne

This may be TMI, and maybe I'm just a germaphobe, but what do you guys do after you get it on....do you just sleep in the sweat and love juices? FI gets sweaty and also sometimes things, uhm, leak when we are finished. I always have to change the sheets after that.

I get up and use the bathroom right away so that doesn't happen. If it does... yup, last thing I'm doing right then is making the bed. I just put pants on so I don't feel a wet spot.

I warned you guys I might be disgusting.

jenna8984

behsco90 said:

Every week, only because if I don't, I'll start getting bacne This may be TMI, and maybe I'm just a germaphobe, but what do you guys do after you get it on....do you just sleep in the sweat and love juices? FI gets sweaty and also sometimes things, uhm, leak when we are finished. I always have to change the sheets after that.

this is prob TMI but we keep tissues next to the bed and we got it down to a science of "remove dick while shoving a tissue there" before moving/ getting out of bed. Has cut down on mess by 95%.  

ohannabelle

Every week, because everything (sheets blankets bedcover pillows) is white, and my cat sleeps in my bed. Fluffy is very sweet, but kind of disgusting. Every other cat I've ever owned has been very clean, but Fluff is a big dust ball. She never grooms herself, and leaves grubby gray spots where she sleeps. 

She will let me bathe her, but she's so old I worry she'll catch a cold. 

ashley8918

Uh... when they smell. 

I am a filthy, disgusting human. H doens't seem to mind.

ashley8918

lolo883 said:

Every week, only because if I don't, I'll start getting bacne This may be TMI, and maybe I'm just a germaphobe, but what do you guys do after you get it on....do you just sleep in the sweat and love juices? FI gets sweaty and also sometimes things, uhm, leak when we are finished. I always have to change the sheets after that.

I get up and use the bathroom right away so that doesn't happen. If it does... yup, last thing I'm doing right then is making the bed. I just put pants on so I don't feel a wet spot. I warned you guys I might be disgusting.

This. Also, I'm pretty damn good at making sure that it always happens on his side.

Blergbot

I'm just going to be honest and say it's probably more like once every six weeks. We. Are. Gross.

ashley8918

Blergbot said:

I'm just going to be honest and say it's probably more like once every six weeks. We. Are. Gross.

I mean, I've gone a couple of months, sooooo...

ashley8918

So, um. I think that i'm going to go wash my sheets right now. I just realized that I haven't washed mine since... fuck, I don't even want to tell you guys.

theartistformerlyknownas

ashley8918 said:

So, um. I think that i'm going to go wash my sheets right now. I just realized that I haven't washed mine since... fuck, I don't even want to tell you guys.

OK I totally lied. Mine hadn't been washed since we got home from our honeymoon in late September.

I'm happy I'm in good company in my grossness.

Don't ask the last time I scrubbed our shower.

beethery

lolo883 said:

So, um. I think that i'm going to go wash my sheets right now. I just realized that I haven't washed mine since... fuck, I don't even want to tell you guys.

OK I totally lied. Mine hadn't been washed since we got home from our honeymoon in late September. I'm happy I'm in good company in my grossness. Don't ask the last time I scrubbed our shower.

You guys are making me feel better about how nasty my house is. I love you bitches.

ashley8918

lolo883 said:

So, um. I think that i'm going to go wash my sheets right now. I just realized that I haven't washed mine since... fuck, I don't even want to tell you guys.

OK I totally lied. Mine hadn't been washed since we got home from our honeymoon in late September. I'm happy I'm in good company in my grossness. Don't ask the last time I scrubbed our shower.

Yeah, so, I got my sheets at my shower at the end of August and put them on a few days after. Guess how many times they have been washed since?

(Although, I have washed the pillowcases several times)

theartistformerlyknownas

We only washed ours because we had house sitters while we were gone, and they slept in our bed. I'll sleep in my own filth, not anybody else's.

I was not cut out for housewifery. I need to make more money so I can hire a housekeeper.

beethery

lolo883 said:

We only washed ours because we had house sitters while we were gone, and they slept in our bed. I'll sleep in my own filth, not anybody else's. I was not cut out for housewifery. I need to make more money so I can hire a housekeeper.

Maybe I will register. There'll just be a leafblower and matches on the registry.

ohannabelle

This is not a sheet thing, but a great shower thing:

Screw the scrubbing bubbles. If the soap scum gets bad, get one of those easy-off oven cleaning pads. Whoosh! That shit cleans like nuclear warfare. Serious effortless sparkling clean. I discovered this accidentally, when I was out of comet and too lazy to go to the store.

VulgarGirl

Wifey changes the sheets I dunno at some point when she wants to. As for sex time, it's a big bed we just scoot away from the wet spot.

VulgarGirl

lolo883 said:

We only washed ours because we had house sitters while we were gone, and they slept in our bed. I'll sleep in my own filth, not anybody else's.

I was not cut out for housewifery. I need to make more money so I can hire a housekeeper.

For real I don't cook or clean. If it were the 1950s I'd be so fucked.

beethery

ohannabelle said:

This is not a sheet thing, but a great shower thing:

Screw the scrubbing bubbles. If the soap scum gets bad, get one of those easy-off oven cleaning pads. Whoosh! That shit cleans like nuclear warfare. Serious effortless sparkling clean. I discovered this accidentally, when I was out of comet and too lazy to go to the store.

Before I moved in with FI, the Kool-Aid Man lived in what is now the spare room.

When I'd get done having sex with FI, I'd go into the upstairs bathroom to pee. The first time I did, I was absolutely horrified at the state of their shower. It looked like it had been melted and that blue and brown had grown on it in some kind of post-apocalyptic takeover thing.

It was soap scum from Kool-Aid Man's blue Irish Spring soap. They had a fuckin cleaning lady and she was afraid to even try cleaning it (she was not great at cleaning).

I took it upon myself to clean the shower. It took two days with a scrub brush and a combination of 409 and Kaboom in the spray bottle. I only came close to passing out from the fumes about 6 times, and I'm pretty sure they can still see the chemical signature in space.

The shower doesn't look like an experiment in dystopian bacterial growth anymore. Actually, now it takes a suspiciously long time to look dirty. Maybe I'm onto something.

theartistformerlyknownas

@beethery‌ I battled a similar scum demon after my dad kicked my brother and his roommates out of my grandma's condo. I scrubbed that motherfucking thing for HOURS. The new tenant said he was amazed; he had viewed the condo already and just thought it would never be clean.

So I possess the ability, just not the desire to clean.

beethery

lolo883 said:

@beethery‌ I battled a similar scum demon after my dad kicked my brother and his roommates out of my grandma's condo. I scrubbed that motherfucking thing for HOURS. The new tenant said he was amazed; he had viewed the condo already and just thought it would never be clean. So I possess the ability, just not the desire to clean.

Same. I always say I'm going to clean. And then I sit down and internet or video game for a while and expect the house to clean itself. Never happens.

I should've taken a before picture of the shower. I asked FI what the deal was and he said he didn't know what to do with it. He laughed at my suggestion to burn it, and he was shocked when I said I was going to try to clean it because walking in and staring at that nightmare while I was taking a whiz in the middle of the night was just too much for me.

I want this to be a possibility:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75BJ2ovo-S0

Blergbot

ashley8918 said:

Blergbot said:

I'm just going to be honest and say it's probably more like once every six weeks. We. Are. Gross.

I mean, I've gone a couple of months, sooooo...

Oh we have gone a couple of months. I'm just saying 6 months is a good median for us.

amelisha

I'm gonna need the smelling salts over here because I am doing a full Victorian swoon. I'm a delicate flower who can't even read about this mess, lol.

ohannabelle

Me, cleaning:

theartistformerlyknownas

@amelisha‌ check out that ceiling fan dust.

lyndausvi

For the first time EVER, today I walked in the door from our vacation.  Emptied the suitcase, washed, dried, folded and put away all my clothes and suitcases within 3 hours of getting home.

I've been known to not empty a suitcase for weeks after returning.

Not sure what got into me today.       

labro

Our goal is to change the sheets weekly but the reality is about every two or three weeks. I wash the duvet cover FAR less often than that...but I'm lazy and the stupid thing takes forever to fully dry.

As far as sexy times, we kind of do like @jenna8984‌. We just keep a supply of washclothes next to the bed in H's night stand. Seriously cuts down on any sort of mess.

goldchocobo.defunct635829490514903826

We're gross.  Maybe every month?  I shower before bed, so....not sure if that helps my case really.

ashley8918

lolo883 said:

@amelisha‌ check out that ceiling fan dust.

ahem, and this here dust, also.

mschristie123

Its weird how validated I feel listening to all your slob stories. Thanks for making me feel not so guilty.

As for "clean up" DH and I keep a bath towel in his nightstand so we can wipe up immediately. I always hop out of bed and go to the bathroom so I feel like were pretty cleanly in that regard.