This is the hill I will die on.

Liatris2010

If you die on that hill, I'll bring flowers to the site where you fell. Keep fighting the good fight.

 And remeber, no complains about there being too much free booze. I'm sure your FILs will be singing a different tune after a few drinks.

afox007

FI was adamant about a cash bar because he figures 1) all his band friends drink too much and their portion of the bar tab alone would break the bank and 2) he figures if it's free booze they will just set their drink down forget and get another one since when they come over I have a house full of half empty beers for that exact reason. I won that battle by telling him I would rather elope than have a tacky wedding and we can look at places that does per person drink package so we aren't paying for each drink individually.

dcbride86

novella1186 said:

dcbride86 said:

novella1186 said:

dcbride86 said:

You guys have made every decision together so far?  My FI mostly cares about the venue, music and food - those decisions we made/will make together.  I ran the photographer by him to okay, but he was just like "if you like him, I'm sure he's great."  My mom and I met with the florist.  For the most part, FI is just letting me take the reigns.  He wants to marry me, but could not care less about the floral arrangements or linens.

He would care about open bar, though.  Because that falls in the food category.

Either way - good job standing your ground!

Some of the decisions we don't discuss too much, because he doesn't really care, like flowers. I told him, "I really want peonies and the florist said they'll be in season at the time of our wedding, plus they'll be in our budget, and then I'm gonna let her pick whatever other flowers to fill in [since I don't know much about flowers and also don't really care about them]. What do you think?" FI said, "Cool. Do it!" 

Ooh okay, I gotcha.  That makes sense.  My mom really cared about the flowers and the chupah (and she's paying for them), so it made sense to just go with her.  She had an absurd idea for the chupah and our florist is weirdly excited about it.  I don't think I even quite get what it will look like, but whatever.  I'm sure it'll be pretty lol

Still though - good job for standing your ground.  If my FI or FILs insisted on a cash bar or a gap or something, I would absolutely do the same thing you're doing

Lol my FI's dad is building our chuppah, even though his family isn't Jewish. He's really excited about it and keeps asking me questions. It's really funny/amusing to try to explain Jewish customs to him. But whatever! At least he's being supportive of a culture he's not familiar with! That's cool in my book. 

That's so nice of your FI's dad!!  I'm sure it'll gorgeous.  Very sweet of them to be so supportive!  My FILs have also been very supportive - they've asked if they should learn any prayers in Hebrew.  I told them I wasn't planning on saying anything in Hebrew, but they're welcome to learn it if they want haha

I think our chuppah involves hanging orchids.  Or maybe floating orchids?  Something about a few orchids.  I don't know haha