I don't even know where to start. TLDR: my dental work is now costing twice as much and we can't afford the wedding, not even close.
The dentist got in touch with me last night to inform me that apparently they didn't have the correct info in the system last time they estimated my cost, and my insurance may not cover as much as they thought would be covered. So the out of pocket cost for my oral surgery and restoration has now gone from $9000 to about $17000. I can't even process this information fully. I obviously expressed my surprise and told them that's just way out of our ability to afford. I asked if they can do anything at cost considering they gave me misinformation the first time around, and whether there are any things we can downgrade or otherwise make more affordable. I'm hearing back from them on Monday, but I don't expect them to be able to take the price back down to what it originally was. To the best of my ability to understand, the first estimate was missing some things and this amount is closer to the normal market cost, so I don't expect to save money by going elsewhere (although I will look into it).
We were already stretched to the breaking point with budgeting for $9000 and had chopped everything out of our wedding budget that we possibly could while maintaining this venue and date (keeping our invites down to the venue minimum, favors, programs, menus, hair and makeup, limo, ceremony flowers). There is just nothing else we can do to cut the cost with our current plans that we haven't already done.
I think I'm realizing that we just can't afford this wedding now and it's breaking my heart.
I don't really know what to do. Fi thinks if it comes down to it we should postpone to the fall. See if our vendors will work with us to keep our deposits if we still use their services but change the date. I guess this makes the most sense. We will wind up paying a lot more per head though, because we have last year's price locked in and May is an off month for our venue. If we move it to September or October, those are popular months and we would now be paying 2015 prices.
FILs were very consoling but didn't make a lot of sense. FMIL said something along the lines of, "You deserve this wedding and you have already made compromises to afford it and you shouldn't change it now." Well fine... that's great.... but it's not possible right now.
My family was... less supportive. My dad didn't say anything (but at least listened). My SM said we could always "get married where we got married. You don't need your friends there. It was $500 for the park and a couple thousand for the food. None of this will matter later when you look back on it." I know she was trying to help but the effect was just to make me feel selfish and petty for wanting a big, dinner and dancing wedding. I already know my dad is throwing a lot of judgment at our plans and no, we don't want the same wedding you had. That wedding was appropriate for them but it's not what we want and it's not what we've been planning for two years.
Two years. We've been engaged for two years. If we wanted a small wedding, we'd have gotten married two years ago. We've been planning this wedding for two years and we're now in the last six months. We sent STDs. We paid deposits. I have been telling everyone for a year that our wedding date is May 30, 2015. I don't want to wait yet another six months to get married. Plan A was to get married fall of 2014. This wedding was already Plan B (and certainly not our dream venue at all). Now we are going to Plan C?
I know I have to wait until I talk to the dentist to figure it out. I may seek another (fourth?) opinion. I just don't know what to do or how to go about any of this.
"I'm not a rude bitch. I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."