I think we need to postpone the wedding.

huskypuppy14

Yeah JC, you shouldn't take any shit from your dad. It's partially his fault you're in this situation in the first place. And you should tell him that if he starts anything with you.

alpacalunch

Whoa. All this sounds awful, so sorry JC. 

You've gotten a bunch of really good ideas here, at least. So if post-op, you need me to mail you some cheap Canadian painkillers, just holler.

kat1114

A little late to the discussion, but you might want to look at adjusting your tax withholding, at least until the wedding. I just re-did my withholding after realizing I'm going to get a huge refund next year (I'd rather have more money now). Anywho, it upped my paycheck quite a bit. 

JCbride2015

kat1114 said:

A little late to the discussion, but you might want to look at adjusting your tax withholding, at least until the wedding. I just re-did my withholding after realizing I'm going to get a huge refund next year (I'd rather have more money now). Anywho, it upped my paycheck quite a bit. 

Interesting.  That's a good idea.  Can I adjust in the middle of the year?

LabLove86

Every place I've worked you are able to adjust it at any time. It might take one pay period to go through depending on when in the cycle you adjusted it. But it is usually pretty quickly.


ETA - I'm also in NY state - so I would think the laws would be the same for you

kat1114

JCbride2015 said:

kat1114 said:

A little late to the discussion, but you might want to look at adjusting your tax withholding, at least until the wedding. I just re-did my withholding after realizing I'm going to get a huge refund next year (I'd rather have more money now). Anywho, it upped my paycheck quite a bit. 

Interesting.  That's a good idea.  Can I adjust in the middle of the year?

You can adjust anytime. In fact, it's good practice to use a withholding calculator a few times a year, just to make sure you're withholding the proper amount, especially with life event changes. 

I used the IRS withholding calculator (clicky) to decide what to put on my W-4. Since you need the money now, it might be good to increase whatever number the calculator gives you. Then, after the wedding, you can use the calculator to see if you need to re-adjust to avoid a huge end of the year tax bill. 

You can also use the calculator to project what refund (if any) you might get for this year. I know that last year, being fresh out of school, I got a huge refund, so that might help you out too.

huskypuppy14

JCbride2015 said:

kat1114 said:

A little late to the discussion, but you might want to look at adjusting your tax withholding, at least until the wedding. I just re-did my withholding after realizing I'm going to get a huge refund next year (I'd rather have more money now). Anywho, it upped my paycheck quite a bit. 

Interesting.  That's a good idea.  Can I adjust in the middle of the year?

You can adjust any time.

Going with the tax theme: you have hefty student loans. Have you had to start making payments yet? Remember, you get a deduction based on the amount of interest you pay on student loans. I believe it starts fading out at certain income limits though. But for this year, if you already started payments, that could help you a little at tax time in a couple months.

zitiqueen

Are you sure your health insurance won't cover any of this? This doesn't sound cosmetic, it sounds like a medical necessity.

JCbride2015

zitiqueen said:

Are you sure your health insurance won't cover any of this? This doesn't sound cosmetic, it sounds like a medical necessity.

I called and they are closed on weekends, but I will definitely be calling tomorrow!  

sophhabobopha

Sorry JC, best of luck!

JennyColada

Also, something to keep in mind, when you get married you can add yourself onto H's dental insurance so that you're double covered, so any procedures that you can hold off until the wedding will be more affordable.

JCbride2015

JennyColada said:

Also, something to keep in mind, when you get married you can add yourself onto H's dental insurance so that you're double covered, so any procedures that you can hold off until the wedding will be more affordable.

Interesting thought.  Might look into that.

phira

Late to the (really upsetting) party here. I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's unbelievable how shitty insurance is in this country.

You've been getting great suggestions from everyone so far. I also think that it's worth speaking to any of your vendors about payments and schedules for anything you haven't finished paying off yet. The worst that'll happen is that they say you still have to pay everything by the original dates. However, our photographer (who was AMAZING) has flexible payments; she even told us before we booked her that there was no official deposit, and that we would work out a payment schedule after the wedding. That enabled us to get a more expensive package from her than we'd originally budgeted because we knew we could afford the original $2000 and then pay the last $1000 after the wedding if we needed to.

In terms of what you can or can't cut--is it possible for you to cut stuff like flowers? I spent about $100 making my own flower centerpieces and they came out so well that people were fighting (in a good-natured manner) about bringing them home at the end of the wedding. I would be seriously happy to make them for you for the cost of supplies and shipping, and even then, I already have a decent amount of stem wire left over from my wedding.

JCbride2015

So my dad called last night and asked a lot of thoughtful questions about my teeth and the wedding and didn't seem overly judgmental.  He actually asked about floating some of the payments on a CC or other "short term financing" (yes, that is how my dad actually talks) and then using the cash gifts or just our paychecks to pay it off afterwards.  I never in a million years thought I'd hear my dad suggest using a CC to pay for a wedding but I hope that means he at least understands this is important to us.  Even if he totally doesn't understand the big wedding thing in itself, which he doesn't.  Of course he didn't offer to help financially with my dental costs, but I was expecting that.

Fi is finally finishing his STDs today.  I told him that might not be a good idea and he said even if he "has to knock over a liquor store" he's determined to make our wedding work on the original date.  I really don't want to put this off for the second time.  

larrygaga

If you think you could pay a loan back quickly, I would suggest that. Also if your credit score isn't horrible, you know? Obviously your health is more important. 

bethsmiles

I'm glad your dad at least seems to be understanding about the situation and how hard it is for you.

I'm really hoping you find get some sort of crazy good news tomorrow that fixes this whole situation for you!

emmaaa

My heart is breaking for you, JC. I don't have any advice to add that hasn't already been suggested. I really hope this works out for you. It sounds like your FI is an amazing support system and your family is coming to understand what y'all want for your wedding! I'm sending hugs and prayers to NY for you!

AprilH81

This is a long shot, but is there ANY way your medical insurance (not dental) would cover some of this?  I agree with a PP that this sounds like a medical necessity, not a vanity/cosmetic procedure.

KatieinBkln

Late to the party, but

A. I am so sorry!

B. Sue the shit out of EVERYONE (including Dad? Kidding!)

C. Follow the excellent advice re: badgering both your dentist and your insurance, and re: checking out ways to finagle your tax withholding. 

D. If you do end up taking out a loan/increasing your debt, try to see it as taking out a loan for your health, not for your wedding. Your wedding may actually be worth "keeping" as-is, financially (depending on change fees/lost deposits/emotional cost of postponing, which is real!), so if that's the case, it's set in stone. Your extra cost is your health, and no one should even think about judging a person for going into debt to save their teeth. You chew with those, man!

Good luck!

theartistformerlyknownas

JC I am beaming all of my good luck mojo and 'give em hell' vibes your way for dealing with them all today!! It looks something like this.

rooz103

zitiqueen said:

Are you sure your health insurance won't cover any of this? This doesn't sound cosmetic, it sounds like a medical necessity.

This is an excellent solution if your medical insurance is reasonably generous. A couple things to keep in mind is that those larger procedures usually require pre-authorization (over the phone) and that the dental office will probably have no clue on how to bill out for that, so you might need to submit claims yourself. They won't cover crowns, but hopefully they'd cover the implant and bonegrafts, so ask specifically about CDT codes 21248 and 99070. 


I know another person mentioned dual coverage insurance through your husband; I'd just make sure that your husband's insurance is Standard coordination of benefits, not No Dual. Otherwise you'd just be throwing your money away. 


Sorry I don't have any other real advice so just more good luck wishes are being sent your way

ShellD13

One other thing to keep in mind is that you might be able to deduct a portion of your dental expenses.  Not sure what your income is but if you itemize your deductions you are able to deduct any portion of medical/dental expenses that are greater than 10% of your AGI so that might help as well.

slothiegal

Oh hon.  I wish I knew more about this sort of stuff and had some advice, but I am pretty clueless.  I just wanted to send my love and some hugs to you.  Keep us updated.

abbyj700

So sorry you are going through this! Hugs, wine and puppies all coming your way!

Talk to everyone you can about this - insurance, different dental offices, etc. We had a moment where we were ready to severely downgrade or cancel our wedding. DH had no health insurance and was bit by a raccoon. At the ER he filled out paperwork stating he had no insurance and how little money he made. And then the bills started coming...eventually totally just over $22,000. After some calls to the billing department and a conversation with one amazing woman - his paperwork was found and a billing appointment scheduled. He brought in pay stubs, and walked out with applications for MediCare (which was retroactive for three months). Long story short - his hospital trip was paid for. 

I'm sending good vibes your way hoping someone will help you navigate through crazy insurance world to find a solution!

OliveOilsMom

Did CreditCare only give you a $9k line of credit or did your dentist ask for $9k in credit for your procedure thinking that was all this was going to cost.  Can you contact CreditCare yourself and ask to extend the credit line to $17k?

IrishPirate60

Has anyone yet suggested talking to a local dental school if there is such a one in your area? The UW in Seattle is phenomenal working with people because they "like interesting problems."

daria24

IrishPirate60 said:

Has anyone yet suggested talking to a local dental school if there is such a one in your area? The UW in Seattle is phenomenal working with people because they "like interesting problems."

I've been to the NYU dental school and they are very thorough and good. However, it takes 4 hours just to get a basic cleaning. So I cannot imagine how much time surgery would take. I was young and poor so their services worked for me, but I doubt they have a Care Credit option, and I know they accept Medicare/Medicaid, but maybe not other insurances. 

MrsMack10612

I haven't read all the response, and I'm a little late to the party, but...

Have you looked into using medical and dental insurance?  If the extraction and implant procedure are done under general anesthetic, it can be considered a medical not dental procedure and you might get more bang for your insurance buck.

Admittedly, I don't know a lot about the cost of dental procedures, but $17K seems really out of the park high. 

princessleia22

JCbride2015 said:

Thanks everyone.  I really appreciate the brainstorming!!!

To answer a few questions:

-- I'm pretty sure the dental work needs to be done soon.  The X-rays are scary, you can really see there is almost no root left to my teeth.  I've already put it off for 8-9 months since I found out about the problem to wait until I had this job.  Several of my teeth are already wiggly.  If I don't do the dental work they may just fall out on their own.

-- I will look into taking action against the ortho but I'm 90% sure it's outside the statute of limitations.  This happened a long time ago and I just wasn't aware.  Medical malpractice generally has a stricter statute of limitations than other types of lawsuits, because the doctor lobby is so strong.  To my knowledge, you have 2.5 years from the time the injury occurred (not from the time you found out about it).  This happened almost ten years ago and I only just found out about it recently.

-- This dentist already was my third opinion, and the dentist that I liked dramatically better than the first two.  His staff seems to be a mess but he is great and my sister has seen a lot of his work because, of course, she works in his office.  I'm considering seeking another opinion but I'm pretty sure any other dentist would tell me the same thing.

-- The general problem with going somewhere else is that we scheduled this to use my 2014 and 2015 benefits: implants with 2014 insurance, crowns with 2015 insurance (max per calendar year is $2000).  If I go somewhere else they probably can't fit me in before the end of the year and I would lose that $2000 of 2014 coverage.

-- Doing some kind of CC or financing is an option, but it would be a LOT and I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that.  I think my venue will accept a credit card at least for some deposits.  As for the teeth, the plan was already to finance the $9000.  I qualified for CareCredit and can get interest-free payments for a year, which was working out to around $750 per month already.  My plan was to pay the minimums (around $300) until the wedding and then pay the rest off afterwards.  I only qualified for $9000 CareCredit anyway, so I don't know how I would finance the other $8000 or however much is extra now.  I'd have to put it on a regular CC and pay interest which would be huge on that amount.  The only other option I can think of is to get a personal loan.  Depending on the amount I could qualify for, I could use the loan for the teeth and some wedding expenses if there's enough credit limit.  I just don't know if I'm comfortable doing that.

-- I haven't completely run the numbers to see how long we'd have to postpone to save up enough money for the teeth AND the wedding.  We are saving at a rate of around $3500 per month, so theoretically just to purely make up the difference is around three or four months.  But if we start losing deposits that's more we have to save.

-- If we could slash the guest list and keep our same venue we would.  But we have a minimum of 150 so we can't go below that or we'll just be wasting money.  If we wanted to REALLY slash the guest list we'd have to move our venue and lose the deposit.  That might be an option.  We only sent out STDs to about half the guest list so we could do it without "uninviting."  But Fi really wants certain extended family members there.

Have you tried looking at other dental insurance options?  A few years ago I was uninsured and needed several root canals and crowns within a short period of time. I am self-employed, so I don't have insurance available through work. So, I looked at various dental insurance options.  I ended up going with a dental discount plan, rather than a typical insurance.  The plans are fairly cheap to purchase (usually less than $200/year) and can mean big savings for large items like this. My root canals and crowns were almost 50% of original uninsured cost.  And the best part is that they generally don't have an annual coverage limit, so you get the coverage discount on the whole bill.  That alone saved me a few thousand dollars over the a plan that would have had a $1500 or $2000 limit, then left me paying full price.  

And since it's not actually an "insurance", but a discount plan you shouldn't have any issues with them going back and forth saying the other should cover as primary... and you may even be able to combine it with your other insurance and have them cover after the discounted rate (you'll have to check into that, because I'm not sure).  Even if you can't combine them, you will probably be able to save more money with the discount plan than what insurance plan would cover.

There are several discount plans out there to look into.  And most are pretty widely accepted.

I currently have a plan through Assurant Health:

http://www.assuranthealth.com/corp/ah/HealthPlans/DentalVisionDiscountPlan.htm

And before that I had one through Careington:

https://member.careington.com/