Budget Bridesmaids Dresses

caitieharrison94

So I am having a problem with finding a bridesmaid dress for my girls (there are 7). After a lot of back and forth, we ordered a dress from Forever 21 for less than $20. However, after it got here four of my bridesmaids felt like the dress was too short (even though it was at least fingertip length on all of them). So we're sending the dress back and starting over. The problem is, I don't know where we're going to find a dress. One of my bridesmaids refuses to spend more than $40 on her dress, and another demands that it has sleeves and a high neck due to religious reasons, and now these other four are requesting that the dress be close to knee length. I have no idea where to look for a dress that meets all these requirements in my price range. Any ideas?

lovegood90

Just give them general guidelines, ie a colour/length/style and let them choose their own. It's the easiest way IMO.

mikenberger

lovegood90 said:

Just give them general guidelines, ie a colour/length/style and let them choose their own. It's the easiest way IMO.

This. Take yourself out of the equation.

peachy13

It's up to you, but I think your safest bet is to pick a color (if you want them all in the same color) and let the bridesmaids find their own dresses in the color you picked. As long as you don't mind the mismatched style look (which actually is pretty popular right now), all your bridesmaids will be able to find whatever they want in a style and price and everyone will be happy.

Good luck!

caitieharrison94

I actually hate mismatched bridesmaids, haha. I should have included that in my OP.

mikenberger

caitieharrison94 said:

I actually hate mismatched bridesmaids, haha. I should have included that in my OP.

Then prepare yourself for a micromanaging nightmare.

KatWAG

caitieharrison94 said:

I actually hate mismatched bridesmaids, haha. I should have included that in my OP.

Well you might have to let go of your vision a little bit. Because a long sleeved, high necked, to the knee dress,  could be border on looking like a muu muu.

amelisha

If you insist on having them all in the same dress and have that many limitations on style and price, you might not have bridesmaid dresses at all. That's a lot of requirements on a small budget. Wouldn't it be better to let what you're imagining go and instead allow these women some choice and some comfort with what they're wearing? The day after your wedding you will not care what they wore as long as they had a great time.

theartistformerlyknownas

That is way too many criteria unless you are willing to settle for something super ugly, or want to make them yourself. You need to let something go, and since all the other criteria are coming from your girls, I think you should let go of the mismatch hate.

Butterflyz419

I think you probably are better off letting them choose their own, but I totally understand not liking the mismatch thing, but do you have TJ Maxx/Marshalls in your area? Depending on how many of them you need and what sizes, you could get lucky and be able to get them matching dresses from there, like this one:

 http://tjmaxx.tjx.com/store/jump/product/women/departments/dresses/cocktail/Floral-Embellished-Dress/1000038182?colorId=NS1003622

Of course, your color/style/fabric options will be very limited in this route.

Or you could get a sleeveless dress with a high neck, which is pretty easy to find, and have the BM who wants sleeves get a little jacket to wear over it.

lovegood90

If you can't get over them being mismatched, and you happen to find a dress that matches all of that criteria, you should also be prepared to pay for the dresses if they are out of your BM's budgets.

In general, if you require something specific that is out of budget (ie makeup, specific shoes), you pay for it.

Coreyq22

You could try LuLus.com they usually have dresses with sleeves / different neck lines they are typically more expensive than 40 (but def lots of options under 70) but you could probably find something on sale I thought about letting my bridesmaids use that site and a lot of bridal stores sell sleeve options not sure how much they are though

[Deleted User]

Check out Target online. They have bridemaids dresses available online. They have a few that are on clearance for under $40. Here is a link for one that might fit for the one is requesting coverage. It doesn't have sleeves but maybe your girls can add a shawl in complimentary color which would then give her the coverage she is asking for.  But they have a few options all under $100.

http://www.target.com/p/tevolio-women-s-lace-illusion-sleeveless-dress/-/A-15290478#prodSlot=large_1_2

caitieharrison94

Well it's just the one bridesmaid whose budget we're trying to work around. The rest were willing to spend up to $200 or more on their outfits, but this one bridesmaid insists she can't spend more than $40, shoes and jewelry included. Thanks for the suggestions of stores- that's definitely the most helpful advice I've received. I'm not going to let them wear mismatched dresses and have something I hate just because one of my bridesmaids won't pay. I don't think it's too much to ask to like the dresses that are going to be in all my pictures. Besides, we're having a vintage themed wedding and mismatched bridesmaids are definitely not vintage.

caitieharrison94

We looked into making a dress and the seamstress said it would cost $475... yikes! 

KatWAG

caitieharrison94 said:

Well it's just the one bridesmaid whose budget we're trying to work around. The rest were willing to spend up to $200 or more on their outfits, but this one bridesmaid insists she can't spend more than $40, shoes and jewelry included. Thanks for the suggestions of stores- that's definitely the most helpful advice I've received. I'm not going to let them wear mismatched dresses and have something I hate just because one of my bridesmaids won't pay. I don't think it's too much to ask to like the dresses that are going to be in all my pictures. Besides, we're having a vintage themed wedding and mismatched bridesmaids are definitely not vintage.

Yea, thats not correct.

mikenberger

caitieharrison94 said:

Well it's just the one bridesmaid whose budget we're trying to work around. The rest were willing to spend up to $200 or more on their outfits, but this one bridesmaid insists she can't spend more than $40, shoes and jewelry included. Thanks for the suggestions of stores- that's definitely the most helpful advice I've received. I'm not going to let them wear mismatched dresses and have something I hate just because one of my bridesmaids won't pay. I don't think it's too much to ask to like the dresses that are going to be in all my pictures. Besides, we're having a vintage themed wedding and mismatched bridesmaids are definitely not vintage.

Your budget is $40. You don't have control over what your bridesmaid wallet is. And its quite rude of you to say and presume otherwise. If you want your bridesmaids to wear something that is $200, put in $160 of your money towards your one bridesmaid dress.

artbyallie

KatWAG said:

caitieharrison94 said:

Well it's just the one bridesmaid whose budget we're trying to work around. The rest were willing to spend up to $200 or more on their outfits, but this one bridesmaid insists she can't spend more than $40, shoes and jewelry included. Thanks for the suggestions of stores- that's definitely the most helpful advice I've received. I'm not going to let them wear mismatched dresses and have something I hate just because one of my bridesmaids won't pay. I don't think it's too much to ask to like the dresses that are going to be in all my pictures. Besides, we're having a vintage themed wedding and mismatched bridesmaids are definitely not vintage.

Yea, thats not correct.

I notice when I Google Image Search for 'vintage bridesmaids,' a good 90-95% are mismatched. Huh.

https://www.google.com/search?q=vintage+bridesmaids&espv=2&biw=1366&bih=643&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=RWd-VMn6DpDngwTDgYP4CA&ved=0CAYQ_AUoAQ#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=so4XYV2SBAD9fM%3A;C_y7ha6CGpwFZM;http%3A%2F%2Fcdnpix.com%2Fshow%2Fimgs%2Ffd76557341cf9eab2566efab9d349bd0.jpg;http%3A%2F%2Ffollowpics.co%2Fpastel-and-lace-vintage-bridesmaids-dresses%2F;400;266

JCbride2015

Whaaa?  Mismatched BM dresses scream "vintage" to me.

I think your best option is to chip in the difference for your one BM if you're going to keep these criteria.  $40 is a tiny budget if you're going to micromanage every single thing about the dress.

Shoes and jewelry shouldn't factor into this at all, btw.  BMs should just wear whatever shoes and jewelry they want.  The most you should do is specify a neutral shoe color that they all mostly would have, like black or nude.

esstee33

caitieharrison94 said:

Well it's just the one bridesmaid whose budget we're trying to work around. The rest were willing to spend up to $200 or more on their outfits, but this one bridesmaid insists she can't spend more than $40, shoes and jewelry included. Thanks for the suggestions of stores- that's definitely the most helpful advice I've received. I'm not going to let them wear mismatched dresses and have something I hate just because one of my bridesmaids won't pay. I don't think it's too much to ask to like the dresses that are going to be in all my pictures. Besides, we're having a vintage themed wedding and mismatched bridesmaids are definitely not vintage.

Yeah, you really need to sort out your priorities. Your friend should definitely be more important to you than pictures. Just because it's your wedding doesn't mean you can be a dick to your friends. 

amelisha

It doesn't matter if it's one bridesmaid or all of them with the budget restriction. If that's the budget, that's the budget, and if you want her to spend over her budget than you have to pay for it, period.

So what if they don't match exactly? How is that going to affect your day AT ALL? I don't get this. It's a wedding, not a photoshoot and this stuff is beyond insignificant unless you care more about what things look like than the comfort and happiness of your friends. And if that's the case, well...I really can't say anything else because selfish people don't generally listen when people tell them how selfish they're being.

jenijoyk

Honestly, I think $40 for dress and shoes is a little ridiculous. If I had that budget, I might just politely decline being a bridesmaid.

But, regardless, I think it's still doable, especially if you volunteer to pitch in an extra $20 or $30 bucks for her to cover the shipping and insurance.

Try Rent the Runway. I used it for my BM dresses and it worked perfectly.

These are all vintagy, $40 or less to rent for a weekend, and meet the knee/neckline/sleeves criteria (and seriously, there are like 100 more on there):

https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/shoshanna_dresses/davinadress (looks short on the 7 foot tall model, but if you look at the pictures of real girls wearing the dress, it looks almost knee length. I'm actually renting this one for a Christmas party next week and can report back.)

https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/shoshanna_dresses/cypresslaceshift

https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/carmenmarcvalvo_dresses/goldidoldress

https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/carmenmarcvalvo_dresses/andoutlovedress

https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/blumarine_dresses/ladypepdress

https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/gryphon_dresses/pintucklovedress

Also, these are super nice, designer dresses. They will totally flatter your BMs' body types, as opposed to a Forever 21 dress.

 

jenijoyk

And if it wasn't clear, they can all rent the same dress. We ordered the same dress, one in each size from 0 to 8. They arrived the Thursday before the wedding, they tried them on and each picked which size worked. We dropped them off in the UPS box on the Sunday after my wedding. Worked like a charm.

doeydo

A few recomendations:
http://www.sears.com/metaphor-women-s-quilted-sleeve-shift-dress/p-007VA76903212P?prdNo=7

http://www.sears.com/metaphor-women-s-pleated-fit-flare-dress/p-007VA79206712P?prdNo=6

http://www.sears.com/miusol-women-s-round-neck-classic-bodycon-pencil-dress/p-0000000000000003888300000000000000000056P?prdNo=35

http://www.sears.com/ever-pretty-ever-pretty-vintage-long-lace-sleeves/p-000000000000000190820000000000000HE03507P?prdNo=8

http://www.sears.com/miusol-women-s-cap-sleeves-waist-lace-dress/p-0000000000000003888300000000000000003046P?prdNo=14

http://www.sears.com/ever-pretty-ever-pretty-half-sleeve-ruched-waist/p-000000000000000190820000000000000HE03900P?prdNo=46

http://www.sears.com/ever-pretty-ever-pretty-sheer-long-sleeve-sequined/p-000000000000000190820000000000000HE03929P?prdNo=13

http://www.sears.com/ever-pretty-ever-pretty-lace-cap-sleeve-retro/p-000000000000000190820000000000000HE03751P?prdNo=41

http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?BR=f21&Category=dress_midi&ProductID=2000137561&VariantID=

caitieharrison94

esstee33 said:

caitieharrison94 said:

Well it's just the one bridesmaid whose budget we're trying to work around. The rest were willing to spend up to $200 or more on their outfits, but this one bridesmaid insists she can't spend more than $40, shoes and jewelry included. Thanks for the suggestions of stores- that's definitely the most helpful advice I've received. I'm not going to let them wear mismatched dresses and have something I hate just because one of my bridesmaids won't pay. I don't think it's too much to ask to like the dresses that are going to be in all my pictures. Besides, we're having a vintage themed wedding and mismatched bridesmaids are definitely not vintage.

Yeah, you really need to sort out your priorities. Your friend should definitely be more important to you than pictures. Just because it's your wedding doesn't mean you can be a dick to your friends. 

Wow, not sure how wanting matching bridesmaids dresses suddenly becomes a bad thing to want? Last time I checked most weddings have matching bridesmaids dresses. That got heated fast.

caitieharrison94

amelisha said:

It doesn't matter if it's one bridesmaid or all of them with the budget restriction. If that's the budget, that's the budget, and if you want her to spend over her budget than you have to pay for it, period.

So what if they don't match exactly? How is that going to affect your day AT ALL? I don't get this. It's a wedding, not a photoshoot and this stuff is beyond insignificant unless you care more about what things look like than the comfort and happiness of your friends. And if that's the case, well...I really can't say anything else because selfish people don't generally listen when people tell them how selfish they're being.

Again, not sure why wanting matching bridesmaids is suddenly a no-no? It kind of is a photoshoot- this is my day and my cherished memories. Your photos are the only part of your wedding day, besides the marriage itself, that actually lasts. I don't want to look back on it and think about all the drama and micromanaging that went into it- I'd like to look back and see my friends happy in a dress that I like, matching. I think it is completely possible to find a dress that they will all be happy in without having to do mismatched dressses. Your unkind comments were unnecessary, I just don't understand how wanting my bridesmaids to match- A TOTALLY NORMAL THING- is suddenly a huge bridezilla move.

caitieharrison94

Thank you for the store suggestions- especially the rental! I'd found another rental one but their cheapest dress was $50. That was, after all, what I was originally asking for. Not opinions on whether or not I'm a massive bitch for expecting matching bridesmaids

caitieharrison94

lovegood90 said:

If you can't get over them being mismatched, and you happen to find a dress that matches all of that criteria, you should also be prepared to pay for the dresses if they are out of your BM's budgets.

In general, if you require something specific that is out of budget (ie makeup, specific shoes), you pay for it.

But I would only have to pay for the one bridesmaid whose budget it's outside of, right? Or is it rude to help her and not help anyone else?

And yes, shoes and jewelry are included in what bridesmaids are supposed to pay for. My wedding planner says so and so does The Knot.

http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx

lyndausvi

mikenberger

caitieharrison94 said:

amelisha said:

It doesn't matter if it's one bridesmaid or all of them with the budget restriction. If that's the budget, that's the budget, and if you want her to spend over her budget than you have to pay for it, period.

So what if they don't match exactly? How is that going to affect your day AT ALL? I don't get this. It's a wedding, not a photoshoot and this stuff is beyond insignificant unless you care more about what things look like than the comfort and happiness of your friends. And if that's the case, well...I really can't say anything else because selfish people don't generally listen when people tell them how selfish they're being.

Again, not sure why wanting matching bridesmaids is suddenly a no-no? It kind of is a photoshoot- this is my day and my cherished memories. Your photos are the only part of your wedding day, besides the marriage itself, that actually lasts. I don't want to look back on it and think about all the drama and micromanaging that went into it- I'd like to look back and see my friends happy in a dress that I like, matching. I think it is completely possible to find a dress that they will all be happy in without having to do mismatched dressses. Your unkind comments were unnecessary, I just don't understand how wanting my bridesmaids to match- A TOTALLY NORMAL THING- is suddenly a huge bridezilla move.

-----(boxes)------

Wanting your bridesmaids to match so you get the pictures that you want turns your bridesmaids into dolls; props. They are no longer your friends. It is not normal to want your bridesmaids to dress the same so you get the look you want for your pictures. Its not a photo shoot. Its a wedding.

I would be far happier, 20yrs from now, seeing 7 of my friends standing with me, in dresses they were happy in and comfortable and smiling pure happiness, than having my perfect matchy match bridal party.

I'm not trying to bring down your parade but its something to think about. If your pictures truly matter more than the people in them, pay some of their dress cost.

jenijoyk

caitieharrison94 said:

lovegood90 said:

If you can't get over them being mismatched, and you happen to find a dress that matches all of that criteria, you should also be prepared to pay for the dresses if they are out of your BM's budgets.

In general, if you require something specific that is out of budget (ie makeup, specific shoes), you pay for it.

But I would only have to pay for the one bridesmaid whose budget it's outside of, right? Or is it rude to help her and not help anyone else?

And yes, shoes and jewelry are included in what bridesmaids are supposed to pay for. My wedding planner says so and so does The Knot.

http://wedding.theknot.com/bridesmaids-mother-of-the-bride/bridesmaids/articles/bridesmaids-duties-in-detail.aspx

I think I would pick the dress I wanted, at a price close to $40, but no more than you're willing to cover for the recalcitrant bridesmaid. Then I'd talk to her alone. And say something like, "I found this dress I really like, it's a little over your budget, but would you be ok with me covering the extra expense? It's no problem and I really want you to be there on my special day because you're so important to me blah blah blah." Then just tell the whole group, "hey we're going with this one. It's $60." Done. It's no one else's business if you spot the one BM a couple twenties or why the budget suddenly went up by $40, if the other girls all originally told you their budgets were higher. I don't think it means you have to spot everyone. Just take the convo with her out of the group. Don't talk about it with anyone. (And I think you're totally ok with wanting matching dresses! I actually wanted mine to be mismatched but they all decided they liked the same one, and in the end I think it just ended up looking nicer anyway!)