Wedding Etiquette Forum

Dry Wedding Etiquette?

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Re: Dry Wedding Etiquette?

  • Good grief. I had a dry wedding in the evening with no dancing. None of my guests died of boredom or threw a fit. I'm sure it wasn't some people's style, but that's fine. Wedding with tons of alcohol and dancing aren't my style and I've still attended a ton of those and had a good time. We had our reception in a museum. We had a mocktail hour with delicious appetizers and sodas and fruity drinks (sort of like what the OP is describing) and invited guests to look around our reception space during it. Then we had a four course served meal with seriously awesome food. We mingled with our guests for a bit and then everything wrapped up early. It wasn't a traditional long reception, but that wasn't our style. Everything we had was well hosted and we got tons of compliments on the delicious food and beautiful venue. If grown guests can't attend a function without alcohol that's just ridiculous. Like the PPs said though, just know your reception will be shorter. I'd say ours was 2/3 the length of a normal reception and it would have been shorter if we'd done a buffet or something. I've never regretted our choices. 

    Also, your bouncy house sounds freaking epic.
    novella1186
  • Good grief. I had a dry wedding in the evening with no dancing. None of my guests died of boredom or threw a fit. I'm sure it wasn't some people's style, but that's fine. Wedding with tons of alcohol and dancing aren't my style and I've still attended a ton of those and had a good time. We had our reception in a museum. We had a mocktail hour with delicious appetizers and sodas and fruity drinks (sort of like what the OP is describing) and invited guests to look around our reception space during it. Then we had a four course served meal with seriously awesome food. We mingled with our guests for a bit and then everything wrapped up early. It wasn't a traditional long reception, but that wasn't our style. Everything we had was well hosted and we got tons of compliments on the delicious food and beautiful venue. If grown guests can't attend a function without alcohol that's just ridiculous. Like the PPs said though, just know your reception will be shorter. I'd say ours was 2/3 the length of a normal reception and it would have been shorter if we'd done a buffet or something. I've never regretted our choices. 

    Also, your bouncy house sounds freaking epic.
    This is kinda what I want, to be honest! Good food and good friends - and dad dancing is required XD

    Shorter doesn't really bother me as long as people are happy.
  • xx802xxxx802xx member
    100 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited January 2015
    I'd rather pay for a drink at a wedding then go to a dry one even though I've learned it's bad etiquette to have a cash bar...but if you have a morning wedding/ reception...people are going to be less likely to want to drink if your worried how guests will take a dry reception. I'm sure your guests will enjoy being there with or without alcohol
  • xx802xx said:
    I'd rather pay for a drink at a wedding then go to a dry one even though I've learned it's bad etiquette to have a cash bar...but if you have a morning wedding/ reception...people are going to be less likely to want to drink if your worried how guests will take a dry reception. I'm sure your guests will enjoy being there with or without alcohol
    We did consider this at one point, but after seeing it on here, maybe not.  Thank you!
  • Yeah, no cash bar. That is creating inequality for your guests and offering something you aren't prepared to host. Which you don't need to.

    Your wedding sounds awesome. I will choose food over alcohol ANY DAY (even thought I quite enjoy wine with dinner and a fruity mixed drink). I love pie. I hope you'll have apple as an option ;). If one of your guests complains, you can invite me instead. 
  • SP29 said:
    Yeah, no cash bar. That is creating inequality for your guests and offering something you aren't prepared to host. Which you don't need to.

    Your wedding sounds awesome. I will choose food over alcohol ANY DAY (even thought I quite enjoy wine with dinner and a fruity mixed drink). I love pie. I hope you'll have apple as an option ;). If one of your guests complains, you can invite me instead. 
    Don't stress, it's not happening. As much as, personally, I wouldn't mind a cash bar if I was a guest, I don't want people to feel slighted.

    I'm such a foodie, and FH eats pretty much anything that comes out of my -cough- our kitchen. We were thinking: apple (from my dad's garden), strawberry (frozen from his allotment in summer), rhubarb, bramble (whatever we can find, topped up with frozen), chocolate (pie, what? it's like a chocolate version of a bakewell tart), lemon meringue and banoffee. What cha think?

    Because of family tradition, my parents bought my dress and are paying for the cost of the drinks, and their gift was we're allowed to raid their allotment for the fruits and a couple of bits for the main courses (veggies, mainly).  
    EunoiaPhoenixnovella1186
  • SP29 said:
    Yeah, no cash bar. That is creating inequality for your guests and offering something you aren't prepared to host. Which you don't need to.

    Your wedding sounds awesome. I will choose food over alcohol ANY DAY (even thought I quite enjoy wine with dinner and a fruity mixed drink). I love pie. I hope you'll have apple as an option ;). If one of your guests complains, you can invite me instead. 
    Don't stress, it's not happening. As much as, personally, I wouldn't mind a cash bar if I was a guest, I don't want people to feel slighted.

    I'm such a foodie, and FH eats pretty much anything that comes out of my -cough- our kitchen. We were thinking: apple (from my dad's garden), strawberry (frozen from his allotment in summer), rhubarb, bramble (whatever we can find, topped up with frozen), chocolate (pie, what? it's like a chocolate version of a bakewell tart), lemon meringue and banoffee. What cha think?

    Because of family tradition, my parents bought my dress and are paying for the cost of the drinks, and their gift was we're allowed to raid their allotment for the fruits and a couple of bits for the main courses (veggies, mainly).  
    OMG!  Not just pies, but some pies using real fruit from a garden!  That sounds extra spectacular.
  • Can I just say thank you for including rhubarb on that list, and on its own no less! Seriously underrated/overlooked pie filling and everyone always wants to dilute its deliciousness. Tart FTW!
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    RosieC18 said:
    Can I just say thank you for including rhubarb on that list, and on its own no less! Seriously underrated/overlooked pie filling and everyone always wants to dilute its deliciousness. Tart FTW!
    QFT
  • The one wedding I was in the B&G had beer and wine available and then you had to buy anything else (including soft drinks). I had a glass of wine but it was the bride's favorite and very dry. I don't like dry wine. So I set the glass down after a sip and danced the night away. Had a ton of fun and didn't have to drink in order to enjoy myself. Was a little parched though and would have appreciated something fizzy that wasn't going to cost me $4/glass (I didn't bring cash because I didn't have a proper purce to go with my dress). Besides that, tons of fun!
    I don't mean to hijack but I have question. We are planning on serving wine, beer, water, iced tea and punch at our reception (coffee/hot tea comes with dinner service, but not all night) Are we rude for not serving soda? It's crazy expensive at our venue - like $3.50 a can - and they don't do fountain soda.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    sjf2715 said:
    The one wedding I was in the B&G had beer and wine available and then you had to buy anything else (including soft drinks). I had a glass of wine but it was the bride's favorite and very dry. I don't like dry wine. So I set the glass down after a sip and danced the night away. Had a ton of fun and didn't have to drink in order to enjoy myself. Was a little parched though and would have appreciated something fizzy that wasn't going to cost me $4/glass (I didn't bring cash because I didn't have a proper purce to go with my dress). Besides that, tons of fun!
    I don't mean to hijack but I have question. We are planning on serving wine, beer, water, iced tea and punch at our reception (coffee/hot tea comes with dinner service, but not all night) Are we rude for not serving soda? It's crazy expensive at our venue - like $3.50 a can - and they don't do fountain soda.
    No it is not rude to not serve soda.  I think since it is just such a staple at many places and events people expect it, but it is not rude or against etiquette to not have it.
  • It's not rude to not have it.   But I think plenty of people expect it.

    The amount that the venue is charging per can is absurd though.   That's almost what a 12 pack costs! 
  • The crazy thing is that a glass of beer is the same price and a good glass of wine is only $5! I think they just know that people expect soda and will shell out the money for it. Frustrating for me though! I might see if they can do lemonade to add more variety for the non-drinkers.
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