Wedding Etiquette Forum

Hi, newly engaged with several issues and a question

I'm newly engaged and am working some stuff out with my fiance, regarding finances and family...we're getting past some stuff, which is good, but there's one thing that REALLY is bothering me

His sister is a lesbian, who is in a committed relationship.  They are both very manly, and refuse to EVER wear dresses...My family will NOT like this.  They are very Catholic and old school.  I was hoping they could just dress nice and act natural and no one would notice, but they refuse to hide their relationship, which I get, but it's your brother's wedding for crying out loud! Future MIL is backing them 100%, and says she will NOT attend if they are not invited.  My fiance wants NO issues and feels that my family shouldn't care about what his sister does.  But I know they'll have a problem with it.

I'm REALLY annoyed that his sister and her woman can't suck it up and pretend for one day...It would mean alot to us and just make things run smoothly.  How do I proceed?  
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Re: Hi, newly engaged with several issues and a question

  • I'm newly engaged and am working some stuff out with my fiance, regarding finances and family...we're getting past some stuff, which is good, but there's one thing that REALLY is bothering me


    His sister is a lesbian, who is in a committed relationship.  They are both very manly, and refuse to EVER wear dresses...My family will NOT like this.  They are very Catholic and old school.  I was hoping they could just dress nice and act natural and no one would notice, but they refuse to hide their relationship, which I get, but it's your brother's wedding for crying out loud! Future MIL is backing them 100%, and says she will NOT attend if they are not invited.  My fiance wants NO issues and feels that my family shouldn't care about what his sister does.  But I know they'll have a problem with it.

    I'm REALLY annoyed that his sister and her woman can't suck it up and pretend for one day...It would mean alot to us and just make things run smoothly.  How do I proceed?  
    This can't be real.

    Formerly martha1818

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    NowIAmSypnovella1186amelisha
  • xx802xxxx802xx member
    First Comment Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited January 2015

    Your entire story is saddening and infuriating. Why would you ask someone to change themselves or hide the fact that they are in a very loving relationship...same sex or not. You should tell the rest of your Catholic family to shove it because they are family now too. This is extremely disrespectful.

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    PrettyGirlLostlnixon8[Deleted User]
  • OP, your post comes off as quite rude. Whether or not you meant it that way, I have no idea. But what you're expecting them to do (hide their relationship and pretend to be someone that they are not) is simply rude.

    If you can't accept them for who they are then don't invite them. Similarly, if you put your image and family gossip over your future-sister-in-law then I would even advise your FSIL to decline the invitation to your wedding.

    This is 2015. If you can't accept gender and sexuality equality then I really don't understand what's your problem.
    PrettyGirlLostplainjane0415rcher912
  • I have NO issue with gay people at all, but I know how my nana and her husband will react and I just don't feel like dealing with it...I seriously just want to elope and deal with that drama instead.
  • invite them all, it's their fault if they don't want to come...not yours...but DO NOT EVEN THINK about asking someone to change or hide who they are for the opinion of someone else

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    PrettyGirlLostnovella1186newvalley
  • I don't want her change who she is, I guess I just want her to steer clear of my family...I also don't want my family to make her feel bad or insult her.  And how do I tell my 93 year old grandmother to not make rude comments about her?  
  • A part of me just says screw it, invite everyone and whatever happens, happens.  But this is my day and I want it to go smoothly, if not perfect and this has been on my mind.
  • P.S.- congrats on the engagement though!

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  • I know my nana would make a comment, and be rude...she's very old school and everyone excuses her because she's the matriarch.  She's capable of saying something like, "what you do goes against God" or something (she's done it before)  it's awful, but I'm really lost as to waht to do.
  • TWO JUNEBRIDES--I love your story.  The problem is I KNOW my nana, and I know how rude she can be...I might have to just tell her to stop being a jerk and deal with the consequences.  My mom is trying to stay out of it, but said she will remove my grandmother if need be.
  • Is this post serious? Either way:

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    PrettyGirlLostrunsonveggiesmrsdee15
  • SJM7538SJM7538 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper First Comment
    edited January 2015
    omg I really hope this is MUD. but just in case...

    unless they are scissoring in the church you don't do a damn thing and you tell grandma to MYOB. or better yet how about you don't invite grandma?


    my grandma is hardcore catholic and doesn't "agree" with alternative lifestyles. my MIL
    is gay and married. my grandma didn't say a damn word.
    PrettyGirlLostmissxasia
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