Hi, newly engaged with several issues and a question

lnixon8

Pray his sister doesn't "speak now",(which absolutely no one would blame her for and everyone reading this thread would hope for)

artbyallie

The mere fact that you think the solution here is for FSIL to pretend to be normal with no sense of the irony you are spouting (hint: her relationship is normal for her) indicates to me that you do, in fact, have issues with gay people. And that's sad. I have bigots in my own family and do not hesitate to tell them when they say something rude and hurtful.

flantastic

I'm pretty Catholic. My family's pretty Catholic. Many of my friends are pretty Catholic.

One of our groomsman is gay and in a relationship. His boyfriend was invited to the rehearsal dinner and the wedding, as the SO of our friend.

My parents, and everyone else, had great fun with my friend and his BF because, you know, those two are good people, and fun people, and the rest of us try to be. It's really not that hard to do.

Your problem is that your family is made up of self-righteous assholes. This is also not your FSIL's problem. If need be, remind your grandmother that you're pretty confident she and FSIL can hang out in the sinners' club together, so casting stones should not be her line of work.

Iamnowmrsjms

OP, maybe you shouldn't be marrying your FI if *gasp* he has a gay sister and his family is accepting of it. 

speakeasy14

No, just no. How incredibly arrogant and rude of you. 

So you just got engaged and the first thing you bring up is that you have an issue with your Fi's sister's relationship.  Yes, I said you, because this is not your grandma's issue, it is yours. Way to ruin such a happy time.  You must have no respect for your FI or his family.  You need to apologize to your FI, his mother, his sister, and her gf.  

redoryx

I can't decide which is more offensive: This is a legit question/situation or it's MUD and the OP did it for LULZ

lifeisajourney

This has to be a joke. This is a joke right?

thespeshulestsnowflake

Knottie86667276 said:

I'm newly engaged and am working some stuff out with my fiance, regarding finances and family...we're getting past some stuff, which is good, but there's one thing that REALLY is bothering me

I'm not even going to touch the rest of this shit show, PPs have handled that well. The bolded concerns me. Finances and family issues? Well, the family issues seem clear. You don't like the fact his sister is a lesbian. He and his family most likely do not like that. Why did you guys get engaged? These things seem like deal breakers to me.

drunkenwitch

Have you asked your family to not be bigoted homophobics for one day?

kat1114

Just show grandma this and stop being an awful person to your FSIL

LondonLisa

Knottie86667276 said:

I know my nana would make a comment, and be rude...she's very old school and everyone excuses her because she's the matriarch.  She's capable of saying something like, "what you do goes against God" or something (she's done it before)  it's awful, but I'm really lost as to waht to do.

The second time in a week that I have had to post this on these boards:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S1-ip47WYWc

I just pity people like this. I cannot believe how much hate your family and you have in your heart. It's pathetic and sad.  

dcbride86

During law school, my family law professor was a 70-something year old priest.  I don't think it gets too much more "old school Catholic" than a priest over the age of 70 (although he was rather liberal in his views and thought everyone should get a prenup - but that was to make it easier on the kids if there is a divorce).  During a family law class, the topic of gay marriage came up, as it should have given the changing laws.  He said that he didn't think homosexuality was a choice, and that the laws were rightly moving in the direction of gay marriage.  Even a 70 year old (southern) priest recognizes the societal change.  You and your family should do the same.

Also, as a PP mentioned, you could just sit her far away, and not tell her that FSIL is a lesbian.  I can't imagine she asks you about the sexual orientation of every guest (and if she does, that's hilarious).

LondonLisa

Knottie86667276

I know an older and better Catholic person that your Gran really should listen to, you know, if she wants to STILL be a good Catholic and all....

novella1186

This is so fucking gross I can't even begin to say what I want to say without getting banned. So. Fucking. Gross. 

OP, if my FI had such a hateful attitude towards one of my close family members-- and for such a bigoted disgusting reason nonetheless-- I would cancel the engagement IMMEDIATELY. Your FI's family deserves better. His sister and her partner deserve better. Go fucking apologize now, and consider yourself LUCKY if they forgive you. 

I cannot even FATHOM telling a gay person not to act gay, and not to claim their partner as their partner, and not to be themselves. How fucking hateful and narrow minded and gross. 

You would hurt someone so bad for your big special day? Wow. I've seen some shitty posts and some shitty attitudes and these boards but wow. This one fucking wins. I can't even handle how gross this is. 

PrettyGirlLost

LondonLisa said:

Knottie86667276

I know an older and better Catholic person that your Gran really should listen to, you know, if she wants to STILL be a good Catholic and all....

THANK YOU!

I was looking for this last night!!!!!

frenchiekin

Knottie86667276 said:

I'm newly engaged and am working some stuff out with my fiance, regarding finances and family...we're getting past some stuff, which is good, but there's one thing that REALLY is bothering me

His sister is a lesbian, who is in a committed relationship.  They are both very manly, and refuse to EVER wear dresses...My family will NOT like this.  They are very Catholic and old school.  I was hoping they could just dress nice and act natural and no one would notice, but they refuse to hide their relationship, which I get, but it's your brother's wedding for crying out loud! Future MIL is backing them 100%, and says she will NOT attend if they are not invited.  My fiance wants NO issues and feels that my family shouldn't care about what his sister does.  But I know they'll have a problem with it.

I'm REALLY annoyed that his sister and her woman can't suck it up and pretend for one day...It would mean alot to us and just make things run smoothly.  How do I proceed?  

Knottie86667276 said:

I have NO issue with gay people at all, but I know how my nana and her husband will react and I just don't feel like dealing with it...I seriously just want to elope and deal with that drama instead.

You are completely fucking delusional if you honestly believe that you have no problem with gay people.  Just take a second to read what you just wrote... the blatant contradiction between the bolded in your first post and the bolded in your second one.  You are as bad if not worse than your grandmother - at least she is totally open about her disgust and how horrible she is.

Just please tell me this is a joke.  Judging from your only other comment on TK on another board, I am really hoping for your own good that you're trolling.

futuremrsr2015

PP covered it all but I had to say something.

The answer is simple if Nana (or any other guest for that matter) feels the need to make a rude, inappropriate or hateful remark regarding your FSILs relationship/sexuality the easiest answer would be "Nana I love you but I think it's time for you to leave."  If she can't be a mature adult for a few hours that is her own problem. 

I also think you've done some serious damage to your relationship with FSIL and FMIL (and probably the rest of your FIs family) with your behavior.  If I was your FSIL I'd think really hard before accepting the invite for the wedding (or any other event) and even if you apologized profusely what you said would always be in the back of my mind.

teddygirl9

Knottie86667276 said:

I know my nana would make a comment, and be rude...she's very old school and everyone excuses her because she's the matriarch.  She's capable of saying something like, "what you do goes against God" or something (she's done it before)  it's awful, but I'm really lost as to waht to do.

Then tell her that is RUDE and these people are your family. Or you can 'warn' the family ahead of time, and say that you'd appreciate it if they kept their fucking mouths shut about something that has nothing to do with your wedding.

PixeKat86

You should count your lucky stars your fiancé hasn't left you after you suggested this ridiculous crap.  Your FSIL and her partner do not have to change anything about themselves in order to attend your wedding.  You can tell your asshole family members they are welcome to stay home if they can't handle the sight of a same sex couple, and that if they do attend and make any inappropriate comments they will be escorted off the property.

pinkcow13

This is the stupidest, most fucking disgusting shit I ever read here. And that's saying a lot.

Liatris2010

Your family should hide their bigotry for the day. And probably for every day, because being a bigot is a shameful thing to be. Being a butch lesbian is not.

Iamnowmrsjms

@Knottie86667276 where are you? Don't leave us hanging like this!

[Deleted User]

I actually have a couple bigots in my family that I will not be inviting to my hetero wedding.  If asked why, my response will be that I have far too many gay friends to expose them to bigots.  I kinda really want to do it in person so I can see the look on their faces.

thisismynickname2

I hate when people use the Catholic religion (or Christianity in general) to perpetuate bigotry. 

Catholics are followers of Jesus, and Jesus was the most peaceful and loving person. I've never thought bigots could be followers of Jesus as it's just so hypocritical. 

As other posters have suggested, tell granny to shove it. 

ShesSoCold

futuremrsjms said:

@Knottie86667276 where are you? Don't leave us hanging like this!

After three pages of "holy hell this is disgusting", I'd be veeeeerrrryyyyyy surprised if OP comes back. 

PrettyGirlLost

ShesSoCold said:

futuremrsjms said:

@Knottie86667276 where are you? Don't leave us hanging like this!

After three pages of "holy hell this is disgusting", I'd be veeeeerrrryyyyyy surprised if OP comes back. 

Everyone was like


I'd bet money that she has PM'd a Mod and asked for her pots or account to be deleted.

mileybangerz

Mud. Stinky shit mud.

cupcait927

I absolutely cannot believe that this is real. My SIL is gay. If I had ever even breathed a word of wanting her to change, for any reason, he would've left me in a hot second. I can't imagine anyone that's even remotely close to their family staying with a person that judges their family members for their sexual orientation. If this isn't MUD, and I'm about 99% convinced that it is, then OP - you should apologize to your FI and his family for not accepting his sister as her true self and pray that he doesn't leave you.

short+sassy

Darn it!  I wish this post was around for my wedding.  I didn't know we could ask our guests to "suck it up" and be something they are not.  (sarcasm)

I love koala bears.  MY SISTER should have pretended to be a koala bear for my wedding.  I mean, it's only one day and its MY DAY.  Geez, she could have pretended to be a koala bear for ONE day instead of the human she was born as.

(Sigh) Opportunity lost.

ShesSoCold

short+sassy said:

Darn it!  I wish this post was around for my wedding.  I didn't know we could ask our guests to "suck it up" and be something they are not.  (sarcasm)

I love koala bears.  MY SISTER should have pretended to be a koala bear for my wedding.  I mean, it's only one day and its MY DAY.  Geez, she could have pretended to be a koala bear for ONE day instead of the human she was born as.

(Sigh) Opportunity lost.

Oh my god. This reminded me that my H hates pandas and my aunt has a panda tattoo. I can't believe I forgot to ask her to remove it prior to the wedding. My H must resent me.