Darn it! I wish this post was around for my wedding. I didn't know we could ask our guests to "suck it up" and be something they are not. (sarcasm)
I love koala bears. MY SISTER should have pretended to be a koala bear for my wedding. I mean, it's only one day and its MY DAY. Geez, she could have pretended to be a koala bear for ONE day instead of the human she was born as.
(Sigh) Opportunity lost.
.....I.....kind of really want to see that wedding.
No. You don't get to tell your FSIL that she should just act normal. Not ever. And especially not on a day where love and joining families and happiness is supposed to be celebrated. Not a little itty bit okay. Talk to your grandma, or seat them so far apart that there isn't an opportunity for them to interact if you can't stand up to Grams for being bigoted and closed-minded.
I am Catholic. I had a Catholic ceremony. I invite two friends who were a lesbian couple. Not a single damn person was rude to them. Even my priest came up to them and hugged them during the reception.
This thread pisses me the fuck off. I see it as a Catholic bash.
Seriously? I'm hoping you are trolling here. By being themselves your FSIL and her partner ARE acting normal. Forcing them to conform to your "normal" is not asking them to act normal. Its asking them to lie and you are telling them that you are intolerant and ashamed of them (also homophobic). My male coworker and his new boyfriend came to my Catholic wedding and were the hit of the party. Cutest couple there.
Wow, a bit late to this thread. But I really hope it isn't serious. As PPs said- maybe grandma should be controlled a bit better instead of shaming your FSIL.
Story from my own wedding. We are all Catholic. H's family is generally very nice and I like them. However, they are RAGINGLY conservative and his father is terribly homophobic.
One day, I heard him referring to gays as heathens, with shameful lifestyles. He said this in front of H's 9 year old nephew. When we left their house, I told H that, in no uncertain terms, that language was not to be used in front of our future children. That his father can believe what he wants (no matter how MIND BLOWING it is to actually think that stuff), but our children were not being brought up to hate others for no reason what so ever. That if his father spoke like that, he wasn't allowed to be alone with our kids.
My uncle got married a few weeks before I did. To a man he was with for THIRTY YEARS. He knows H's family is conservative so he asked me if I cared if they slow danced at our wedding. Said he didn't want to start anything. I said that if H's family had any concern with him dancing with his own husband, they were welcome to go outside until the dancing was over but that under no circumstances would I ask my uncle to stop dancing. I said we were all at my reception to celebrate my relationship with H and I was just so happy that he could celebrate his own recent marriage at the same time- and that if anyone cared, they could leave.
Why would I EVER ask my uncles to not show their love? Why would I ever tell them to stop acting gay for the day so some bigots felt better about themselves? The fact that this post even exists is so astonishing to me.
I really hope you reflect on what you wrote and think about how terrible you are being.
My uncle got married a few weeks before I did. To a man he was with for THIRTY YEARS. He knows H's family is conservative so he asked me if I cared if they slow danced at our wedding. Said he didn't want to start anything.
Re: Hi, newly engaged with several issues and a question
I cannot believe this is real. But just in case:
No. You don't get to tell your FSIL that she should just act normal. Not ever. And especially not on a day where love and joining families and happiness is supposed to be celebrated. Not a little itty bit okay. Talk to your grandma, or seat them so far apart that there isn't an opportunity for them to interact if you can't stand up to Grams for being bigoted and closed-minded.
Story from my own wedding. We are all Catholic. H's family is generally very nice and I like them. However, they are RAGINGLY conservative and his father is terribly homophobic.
One day, I heard him referring to gays as heathens, with shameful lifestyles. He said this in front of H's 9 year old nephew. When we left their house, I told H that, in no uncertain terms, that language was not to be used in front of our future children. That his father can believe what he wants (no matter how MIND BLOWING it is to actually think that stuff), but our children were not being brought up to hate others for no reason what so ever. That if his father spoke like that, he wasn't allowed to be alone with our kids.
My uncle got married a few weeks before I did. To a man he was with for THIRTY YEARS. He knows H's family is conservative so he asked me if I cared if they slow danced at our wedding. Said he didn't want to start anything. I said that if H's family had any concern with him dancing with his own husband, they were welcome to go outside until the dancing was over but that under no circumstances would I ask my uncle to stop dancing. I said we were all at my reception to celebrate my relationship with H and I was just so happy that he could celebrate his own recent marriage at the same time- and that if anyone cared, they could leave.
Why would I EVER ask my uncles to not show their love? Why would I ever tell them to stop acting gay for the day so some bigots felt better about themselves? The fact that this post even exists is so astonishing to me.
I really hope you reflect on what you wrote and think about how terrible you are being.