Is it rude to say no pictures??

jelly1313

I was just wondering if it is considered rude to ask the guests not to take pictures during the ceremony. We are paying a lot of money for a photographer and want her to get all the important shots without having to work around other people. I noticed at my cousins wedding people actually got out of their seats to take pictures with their cell phones.

dcbride86

Yes, it is rude.  I totally understand where you are come from, but your guests are adults, and it's rude to dictate their behavior.  Plus, the people who really want to take pictures will do so whether or not you ask them not to.

Also, your photographer likely knows how to handle people getting in the way of his shot.  This isn't his first rodeo.

mlg78

We had to put this in our programs at the request of the church...which seems a bit different than the reasoning you have: "There ceremony is a service of worship. The church requests no flash photography during the service."

kat1114

Agreed with everything dcbride said. Our guests took tons of pictures during our ceremony, and all of the ceremony pics still came out amazing because our photographers knew what they were doing.

Also, it was nice to see pictures of our ceremony before our photographer got us our pictures back. If we had banned our guests from taking pictures, we would have not being able to see any ceremony pics for almost 6 weeks.

lifeisajourney

I had a friend who made a huge fuss about us not taking pictures during the ceremony and now some her favorite shots are ones that we as guests took. For example her friend got a picture of the back of her dress while she was walking down the aisle with her mother and she loves that picture because her photographer only got pics of the front of her while she was coming down the aisle. I understand that you want your photographer to take your pictures but your guests might capture things from a different perspective that you may love. 

emmaaa

Yes it will be rude.

Maggie0829

dcbride86 said:

Yes, it is rude.  I totally understand where you are come from, but your guests are adults, and it's rude to dictate their behavior.  Plus, the people who really want to take pictures will do so whether or not you ask them not to.

Also, your photographer likely knows how to handle people getting in the way of his shot.  This isn't his first rodeo.

This.

It is different if your venue has a restriction against photography, and even then it is like mlg's of no flash photography so photos can still be taken just no bright flashes going off.

And to tell you the truth I have quite a few pictures from guests that are just as good if not better then some of the photos I have from my photographer.  Some captured things that my photographer did not or got shots at a different angle/perspective which are nice to have.

southernbelle0915

Yea, it's rude. People who are going to be polite about taking photos won't get in the way. And people who are going to be rude about it probably won't pay any attention to your message regardless of what you say. So not only is it rude, but there's really no point. 

If you have a good photographer, this shouldn't be a problem.

jelly1313

southernbelle0915 said:

Yea, it's rude. People who are going to be polite about taking photos won't get in the way. And people who are going to be rude about it probably won't pay any attention to your message regardless of what you say. So not only is it rude, but there's really no point. 

If you have a good photographer, this shouldn't be a problem.

Thats what I am worried about. At my cousins wedding I noticed that people (cousin that would be at my wedding as well) was standing in the middle of the aisle taking pictures of them saying their vows while the photographer was at the end of the aisle trying to take pictures. It just seemed like she was in the way. If she had stayed in her seat it probably wouldn't have been a big deal to me and I might not have even noticed.

dcbride86

Knottie15079655 said:

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southernbelle0915 said:

Yea, it's rude. People who are going to be polite about taking photos won't get in the way. And people who are going to be rude about it probably won't pay any attention to your message regardless of what you say. So not only is it rude, but there's really no point. 

If you have a good photographer, this shouldn't be a problem.

Thats what I am worried about. At my cousins wedding I noticed that people (cousin that would be at my wedding as well) was standing in the middle of the aisle taking pictures of them saying their vows while the photographer was at the end of the aisle trying to take pictures. It just seemed like she was in the way. If she had stayed in her seat it probably wouldn't have been a big deal to me and I might not have even noticed.

Your photographer knows how to handle this, though.  The photographer knows how to get angles, and if someone is truly blocking all of his shots, will politely inform someone that they are in the way.  And if your cousin really likes to get that picture, I doubt a little line in the program will stop him from doing it at your wedding.

jelly1313

So I guess I just suck it up and deal with the fact that she will be in the way haha maybe warn my photographer ahead of time that my family might get in the way and not to be scared to tell them to move it

Maggie0829

Knottie15079655 said:

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southernbelle0915 said:

Yea, it's rude. People who are going to be polite about taking photos won't get in the way. And people who are going to be rude about it probably won't pay any attention to your message regardless of what you say. So not only is it rude, but there's really no point. 

If you have a good photographer, this shouldn't be a problem.

Thats what I am worried about. At my cousins wedding I noticed that people (cousin that would be at my wedding as well) was standing in the middle of the aisle taking pictures of them saying their vows while the photographer was at the end of the aisle trying to take pictures. It just seemed like she was in the way. If she had stayed in her seat it probably wouldn't have been a big deal to me and I might not have even noticed.

But there is nothing you can do about this if it does happen.  You need to trust your photographer that she will either move and shoot around rude people or politely ask the individual to move out of her way.

fwtx5815

You could always consider doing something like this for your aisle to prevent people from blocking it

dcbride86

Knottie15079655 said:

So I guess I just suck it up and deal with the fact that she will be in the way haha maybe warn my photographer ahead of time that my family might get in the way and not to be scared to tell them to move it

Well you don't know if she will be in the way.  She might be in the way.  Someone else might be in the way.  And yes, you suck it up.  Again, your photographer knows how to get the shot.  I wouldn't worry about this.

Maggie0829

Knottie15079655 said:

So I guess I just suck it up and deal with the fact that she will be in the way haha maybe warn my photographer ahead of time that my family might get in the way and not to be scared to tell them to move it

Yup you just suck it up.  Honestly, this wasn't even a concern that crossed my mind because I trusted my photographer 110%.

southernbelle0915

dallasbetch said:

You could always consider doing something like this for your aisle to prevent people from blocking it

This. If you're worried about people helping themselves to the aisle during your ceremony, block it off. Have them seated via the sides. 

And unless this is your photog's first gig in this century, s/he should know how to handle avoiding people with cell phones and cameras.

dcbride86

Also, OP - as PPs have mentioned, you might want some of the pictures guests take.  I attended a wedding about 1 1/2 years ago, and I got 1 picture of the bride as she was walking up to the aisle.  I didn't stand or get out of my seat, I just turned around and got a great shot of her being walked down the aisle by both parents.  She thanked me for the photo, and told me it was the best picture she had until her professionals were returned to her.  If she had said no pictures, she wouldn't have had a picture of her being walked down the aisle for 2 months. 

redoryx

Also keep in mind that as much as you like and trust your photographer right now, there are plenty of threads on this website about photographers who took a long long time to deliver photos to the couple and, in some cases, never delivered the photos at all. 

jelly1313

I live in a small town and went to school with the photographer so not worried about not getting the photos at all and I am prepared that I might have to wait a while but she is pretty good at sharing at least one or two photos within the days following the wedding. 

I have decided to not worry about it and I love the idea of blocking off the aisle but even that might not happen. If I have free time and extra materials then I might but I am not going to stress over it and make it a priority. 

flantastic

Knottie15079655 said:

I live in a small town and went to school with the photographer so not worried about not getting the photos at all and I am prepared that I might have to wait a while but she is pretty good at sharing at least one or two photos within the days following the wedding. 

I have decided to not worry about it and I love the idea of blocking off the aisle but even that might not happen. If I have free time and extra materials then I might but I am not going to stress over it and make it a priority. 

Sounds like an excellent plan. Don't worry about the stuff you can't actually control, for that is a futile exercise and will add a lot of unnecessary stress to the wedding planning.

marie2785

mlg78 said:

We had to put this in our programs at the request of the church...which seems a bit different than the reasoning you have: "There ceremony is a service of worship. The church requests no flash photography during the service."

I just got this request to, but I may skip putting it on my program since the church's wedding coordinator goes to the lectern before the ceremony begins and announces something along the lines of "Please no flash photography or standing in the aisles outside of communion and exiting and entering". There is no way around this--if you want the ceremony at the church, she makes this announcement. When I asked, she said it's a non-negotiable rule--the priest will not start the ceremony until this announcement is made. It's due to a mix of fire code issues, and general "sacredness" of the ceremony.  

People are still welcome to take non-flash photos I was told. That isn't a problem. Just the flashes and blocking the exists.  

photokitty

Yes it is rude.

If you are super worried about the photog getting all the shots, I suggest you ask them about adding a second shooter. Getting a shot from the back of the venue is always a risky shot, regardless of guests int he aisle or not. That's a shot for the second photog.

Honestly I recommend a second shooter regardless of this concern. GL!

PrettyGirlLost

Knottie15079655 said:

I was just wondering if it is considered rude to ask the guests not to take pictures during the ceremony.   Yes.  Don't micromanage adults.  We are paying a lot of money for a photographer and want her to get all the important shots without having to work around other people.   #1 Good, professional photographers have absolutely no trouble getting the shots you are paying them to get  AND working around your guests.  They are used to taking photos at weddings with guests.  #2 Your guests will not be paying for photographs from your photog and they wish to take a few pictures so that they have them to remember this happy occasion.  I noticed at my cousins wedding people actually got out of their seats to take pictures with their cell phones.  No big deal.  Pro photogs can handle that no problem.

Everyone too photos and some videos at my wedding.  None of my pictures were ruined.

Don't be that bride.

PrettyGirlLost

mlg78 said:

We had to put this in our programs at the request of the church...which seems a bit different than the reasoning you have: "There ceremony is a service of worship. The church requests no flash photography during the service."

So your professional photog couldn't take pictures either?

mlg78

PrettyGirlLost said:

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mlg78 said:

We had to put this in our programs at the request of the church...which seems a bit different than the reasoning you have: "There ceremony is a service of worship. The church requests no flash photography during the service."

So your professional photog couldn't take pictures either?

He didn't use a flash during the ceremony. My photographer said this is a common request from churches nowadays.

mrscomposer

Knottie15079655 said:

So I guess I just suck it up and deal with the fact that she will be in the way haha maybe warn my photographer ahead of time that my family might get in the way and not to be scared to tell them to move it

People move around to take pictures at weddings.  This should not be a surprise to your photographer, and she should be able to take it in stride and work around them.  Our wedding was only the second wedding our photographer has ever done, and she was able to work around anyone who was in her way.  She also managed to be in five different places at once, it seems like - she got shots of everyone coming down the aisle, of the groom/groomsmen up front, pictures from behind the officiant, and even pictures from the balcony. 

We hired a professional.  She did her job.

ETA - words.

photokitty

mlg78 said:

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PrettyGirlLost said:

mlg78 said:

We had to put this in our programs at the request of the church...which seems a bit different than the reasoning you have: "There ceremony is a service of worship. The church requests no flash photography during the service."

So your professional photog couldn't take pictures either?

He didn't use a flash during the ceremony. My photographer said this is a common request from churches nowadays.

It isn't uncommon - especially in Catholic churches. The church can set it's own rules, God knows being polite to others hasn't stopped them from making certain rules in the past....

SehraiM7

It depends on how you phrase it. I would suggest "We wish for you to be fully present in this moment with us, for this reason we ask that this ceremony be unplugged," or something similar. I personally finding rude to have guests playing with Instagram filters instead of being mindful of the vows. Clearly, you cannot control your guests' actions, and do not try to do so. Merely suggest that cameras and phones be stored and silent. 

southernbelle0915

SehraiM7 said:

It depends on how you phrase it. I would suggest "We wish for you to be fully present in this moment with us, for this reason we ask that this ceremony be unplugged," or something similar. I personally finding rude to have guests playing with Instagram filters instead of being mindful of the vows. Clearly, you cannot control your guests' actions, and do not try to do so. Merely suggest that cameras and phones be stored and silent. 

No. Saying something a certain way is still saying it. The point is that it shouldn't be said at all - not blatantly, not in a poem, not with smiley faces and exclamation points....not at all.

People who are rude with their phones are going to be rude no matter what.

Maggie0829

SehraiM7 said:

It depends on how you phrase it. I would suggest "We wish for you to be fully present in this moment with us, for this reason we ask that this ceremony be unplugged," or something similar. I personally finding rude to have guests playing with Instagram filters instead of being mindful of the vows. Clearly, you cannot control your guests' actions, and do not try to do so. Merely suggest that cameras and phones be stored and silent. 

The bolded makes me gag.  I can take pictures and still be present in your fucking moment.  It is called multi-tasking.

mikenberger

I'm always interested to know what's going on between the ears that says to you "This is an AWESOME idea and I can tell adults how to behave. It's MY day." 

Do you do this to people in your day to day life? Why is your wedding any different? Shouldn't you always be giving attention to someone be it at lunch or your desk or a wedding?