Is it rude to say no pictures??

PrettyGirlLost

jenholand said:

Holy smokes ladies, let's have some respect! Opinions are opinions, therefore cannot be wrong. Making a request is not an effort of control. It is just that, a request. Some of you are very cynical and just downright rude. You can make any request you want, just don't be a jerk about it. Your guests can act how they want & that behavior will speak to their respect of you & your requests. Hopefully your guests are more respectful than most of the women responding here. They love you and want to celebrate with you and your other loved ones. If you request no electronics, no photography, no standing, whatever it is at the ceremony, reception or whatever else, it's up to you to ask nicely, then trust your guests to be adults and respond civilly. Apparently, being adults and responding civilly is WAY too much to ask of "helpful" commenters on a wedding post. Damn.

Actually, an opinion can absolutely be incorrect.  Jenny McCarthy's opinion that vaccines cause Autism is absolutely, 100% incorrect and has been proven to be incorrect.

The FACT of he matter is that yes, it IS RUDE to try and control your guests' behaviors.  Your guests taking pictures will NOT ruin your professional pictures.  Your professional photography should know how to get all of the shots he/she needs to get while maneuvering around guests if he/she has to.  And in the 30+ weddings I have attended I have rarely, if ever, seen guests get up and stand in the aisle to get photographs.

I had 150 guests at my wedding, not a single person stood out in the aisle to take pictures, and no one "ruined" any of the professional shots.

And if you read that stupid article by Corey Ann, then I suggest you also read this article by Mitchell Dyer:  http://blog.craigmitchelldyer.com/2013/05/30/unplugged-wedding-no-way-plug-in/

"The thing that irks me the most about most of these articles, is that it makes it sound like the professional photographer (such as myself) cannot function or capture images from your wedding, or the images will not be as good, if guests are allowed to use cameras and cell phones. Some photographers even put in clauses in their contracts saying “guest may not take photos” or something to that effect. Whenever I do anything for my business, I first look at it from a consumer point of view. How is the customer experience, how would I feel if this happened to me, etc. When talking unplugged weddings, as a client, I’d be annoyed if anyone tried to tell me I couldn’t snap some photos on my phone at a friend or family members wedding. Even more so if the photographer – who as much as we like to think we are so very important, the fact is we are simply a vendor at the event – told me to move out of the way or to stop taking photos. I could NEVER imagine telling someone to do that. Ever.

It is our job as photographers to get the image no matter what. Someone steps in our way? Move.

Flash from a camera messing up your photo, well, that’s why my camera shoots 8 frames a second. I’ll have 7 other images to choose from and chances are, my flashes will screw up their images more than the other way around. I feel bad about that!

During the ceremony, for the most part, the guests can’t move. I can. I can find another angle, I can move to the right or left I can kneel down or stand high, I have many options at my disposal to capture the images I am being paid (a lot of money) to capture. That is my job. It is my job as a photojournalist to read body language and know when someone is going to step in front of me. It is my job to know where the “action” is. It is my job to capture every moment as it happens and I don’t mind one bit if 100 other people are doing the same."

Maggie0829

Knottie2902796 said:

It is NOT rude! You are asking your guests to be present in the moment and not experience your wedding ceremony through their camera/phone screens. Your photographer's photos are going to be 1000x better than any photos your guest capture on their iPhone anyway. Trust me. My fiancé and I are planning on having an unplugged ceremony and no one has given us any flack about it. I think everyone on this thread who is saying it is rude/tacky should probably read this:

http://offbeatbride.com/2011/06/unplugged-wedding

 

But why do you think you have any right to dictate how someone experiences your wedding? 

flantastic

jenholand said:

Holy smokes ladies, let's have some respect! Opinions are opinions, therefore cannot be wrong. Making a request is not an effort of control. It is just that, a request. Some of you are very cynical and just downright rude. You can make any request you want, just don't be a jerk about it. Your guests can act how they want & that behavior will speak to their respect of you & your requests. Hopefully your guests are more respectful than most of the women responding here. They love you and want to celebrate with you and your other loved ones. If you request no electronics, no photography, no standing, whatever it is at the ceremony, reception or whatever else, it's up to you to ask nicely, then trust your guests to be adults and respond civilly. Apparently, being adults and responding civilly is WAY too much to ask of "helpful" commenters on a wedding post. Damn.

@jenholand - We actually have a great deal of respect for you, in some ways. Otherwise we wouldn't bother writing out an explanation of how posters' actions could offend their guests. If we didn't respect new posters all enough to think there was a chance they would understand reason and actually care about their guests, we wouldn't write it. We're trying to keep them from acting like an asshole. "I can do whatever I want because the day is all about me" is definitely not the adult perspective, but thanks for claiming that we don't know how to act like adults.

If your opinion is that you can treat your guests however you want because it's your wedding and there will be no consequences, that opinion is wrong. Wait and see who's right about that.

Why is it okay to take advantage of your family and friends' love for you so that you can do whatever you want without having respect for them?

thisismynickname2

piglet87 said:

I love how because some are new to commenting to the boards you automatically say their opinion and points are invalid. People come to these boards for opportunity to seek advice and to hear from alternating points of view. However, you ladies sit there and just shoot down everything people say that is not of the same point of view as you. I was hopeful that good discussion would happen around this topic but unfortunately you are not allowing that. I know I am far from a rude person and I don't need to defend myself to you all since you do not know me personally. Secondly, I know I'm not a bridezilla and I also know that I had picked a great photographer and I don't need to worry about any of the things you are stating.

First highlighted: Points of view are on the other boards, not the etiquette board. People come to this board to find out how to treat guests graciously. 

Second highlighted: Oh, honey. 

I know you were calling me out in a prior post about how if I'm chasing down my photographer, then I didn't do my research. 

You're cute. 

My photographer had a "Knot- Best of Weddings" and many great reviews on here, and on Yelp. She had no BBB complaints. She was great in person, did awesome for my engagement, and did awesome on my wedding day too. So it's my fault in researching that she decided to literally walk away from her wedding business and walk away from contractual obligations to at least three couples?  I had a crystal ball and could foresee the day this sweet and talented woman would fuck me over?

When your DJ plays the wrong music, when your photographer delivers even a month past contract, when your flowers show up wilted and you rush for replacements, when your flowers show up not the exact color you wanted, when your caterer gives people food poisoning, when your hairstylist delays your schedule because she screwed up your dream 'do, when your invitations have typos, or when your cake smashes on the floor prior to the reception, I'm sure you'll be so glad you did your research. (All those instances are true stories.) 

Honey, best of luck to you. 

PrettyGirlLost

Knottie2902796 said:

It is NOT rude! You are asking your guests to be present in the moment and not experience your wedding ceremony through their camera/phone screens.   No one is going to be "fully present in the moment' at your wedding ceremony though.  NO ONE!  They will daydream, they will look around at the decor and architecture of the venue, they will stare off into space.  Why?  Because they've all been to weddings before and htey all pretty much follow the exact same format- groom and GM's enter, BM's enter, everyone stands, Bride enters, every one sits, the Officiant officiates, Dearly Beloved- blah blah blah, vows, first kiss, Husband and Wife.  Your wedding isn't a play or theatrical performance that they haven't seen before.  They all know the drill.

Hell, I wasn't "fully present" during my own damn wedding ceremony. ><

And actually, when you are in the act of taking a picture you are pretty much as present and in the moment as you can possibly be. . . because you are concentrating on taking a picture of that moment.

Your photographer's photos are going to be 1000x better than any photos your guest capture on their iPhone anyway.  Trust me.   Your guests won't have access to your pro photos unless you give them to your guests.  No one, except maybe your parents and grandparents, are going to buy pro photos from your photographer, and those given to you by the photographer to be shared on social media are typically a low res version such that no one could get them printed if they wanted to.  Trust me.  Your guests are taking photos because they want a memento of your wedding for themselves.  My fiancé and I are planning on having an unplugged ceremony and no one has given us any flack about it. I think everyone on this thread who is saying it is rude/tacky should probably read this:

http://offbeatbride.com/2011/06/unplugged-wedding

Yeah that site publishes a lot of rude shit and labels it as "offbeat."  Read this one instead; http://blog.craigmitchelldyer.com/2013/05/30/unplugged-wedding-no-way-plug-in/

Knottie52449923

I think this is the first and only time I want to be posting on a Knot thread as I embark on the wedding planning process. The personal attacks and overly-aggressive comments by people who have taken it upon themselves to monitor and disprove anyone who disagrees with them in this forum is enough to turn me off from seeking out advice on these threads in the future. I just feel compelled to say...

Yes, you are on an ETIQUETTE thread. So perhaps everyone can respond and share differing opinions a more polite manner that is a much better representation of a respectful discussion on etiquette. 

cupcait927

Knottie52449923 said:

I think this is the first and only time I want to be posting on a Knot thread as I embark on the wedding planning process. The personal attacks and overly-aggressive comments by people who have taken it upon themselves to monitor and disprove anyone who disagrees with them in this forum is enough to turn me off from seeking out advice on these threads in the future. I just feel compelled to say...

Yes, you are on an ETIQUETTE thread. So perhaps everyone can respond and share differing opinions a more polite manner that is a much better representation of a respectful discussion on etiquette. 

Many of the responses on this thread have been very polite and well-worded. However, it is incredibly frustrating when new posters come on the boards and insist that whatever they are doing on their wedding day is "okay" because it is their big day. These posters forget that the people they are inviting are their friends and families and it isn't okay to treat them like second-class citizens simply because the couple is getting married.

 

Also - totally not your place to tell people how to post.

flantastic

Knottie52449923 said:

I think this is the first and only time I want to be posting on a Knot thread as I embark on the wedding planning process. The personal attacks and overly-aggressive comments by people who have taken it upon themselves to monitor and disprove anyone who disagrees with them in this forum is enough to turn me off from seeking out advice on these threads in the future. I just feel compelled to say...

Yes, you are on an ETIQUETTE thread. So perhaps everyone can respond and share differing opinions a more polite manner that is a much better representation of a respectful discussion on etiquette. 

I'm pretty confident the only way of sharing differing opinions which would be acceptable to you as "respectful" would be to add a disclaimer to the end of each - "But that's just my opinion! Do whatever feels best to you!" Even then I'm not sure.

If we know that selfishness and disregard for your guests is "what feels best to you" we're not going to approve that, and it's ridiculous to expect it. A blunt statement of opinion or fact is not the same as a rude post. If I were going to be actually rude and "personally attack" someone, I would have to say something like "You're a total bitch." We don't do that.

Etiquette exists because it is proven that "If you act in X way, people will get rightfully offended." That is why etiquette is a standard, not a set of opinions. The regular posters here adhere to that standard.

huskypuppy14

Knottie52449923 said:

I think this is the first and only time I want to be posting on a Knot thread as I embark on the wedding planning process. The personal attacks and overly-aggressive comments by people who have taken it upon themselves to monitor and disprove anyone who disagrees with them in this forum is enough to turn me off from seeking out advice on these threads in the future. I just feel compelled to say...

Yes, you are on an ETIQUETTE thread. So perhaps everyone can respond and share differing opinions a more polite manner that is a much better representation of a respectful discussion on etiquette. 

Where? I don't see anything like that. And if you can't handle honest snarky comments, then the internet is not for you. This is the etiquette board, people are not going to blow roses up your ass when you try to give advice that is not appropriate etiquette. Maybe lurk a little before coming on to a message board without knowing the tone.

But I know I'm just talking to a wall.

thespeshulestsnowflake

Knottie52449923 said:

I think this is the first and only time I want to be posting on a Knot thread as I embark on the wedding planning process. The personal attacks and overly-aggressive comments by people who have taken it upon themselves to monitor and disprove anyone who disagrees with them in this forum is enough to turn me off from seeking out advice on these threads in the future. I just feel compelled to say...

Yes, you are on an ETIQUETTE thread. So perhaps everyone can respond and share differing opinions a more polite manner that is a much better representation of a respectful discussion on etiquette. 

Could you please quote an example of a personal attack? Please. People say this all the time and I have yet to see one. It's like a unicorn.

plainjane0415

The OP asked if it was rude to say no pictures, and it is. She was answered in a polite way, and I think has decided to go against having an unplugged ceremony.

The problem lies with people and their screw everyone else it's my day mentality.  That doesn't go over well here, because the minute you invite guests to your wedding it ceases to be about you.

mikenberger

Knottie52449923 said:

I think this is the first and only time I want to be posting on a Knot thread as I embark on the wedding planning process. The personal attacks and overly-aggressive comments by people who have taken it upon themselves to monitor and disprove anyone who disagrees with them in this forum is enough to turn me off from seeking out advice on these threads in the future. I just feel compelled to say...

Yes, you are on an ETIQUETTE thread. So perhaps everyone can respond and share differing opinions a more polite manner that is a much better representation of a respectful discussion on etiquette. 

Would you like us to hold hands, pat you (general you) on the head, tell you "There there. Buck up Champ!"? 

We're adults. We behave like adults. Nobody name called or got overly aggressive (And if you think this is aggressive, you should definitely make this your last post.) during the course of this thread. It's just absolutely ridiculous to think that people with cell phones, taking photos of your big day, is going to ruin it. If you are allowing such a trivial thing to come in between you and your day, you're the one with the issue. Not them. 

[Deleted User]

I disagree. I don't think it's rude - depending of course on how you present it... There are some very cute signs on pinterest (e.g. chalkboard signs you can place at the entrance) kindly asking guests to not use electronics, no flash, letting guests know you will share all the pictures for free, etc.  It is true that your guests might end up taking a lot of great pictures, so maybe consider letting them take pictures, but kindly asking them to stay in their seat so they're not blocking aunt so-and-so's view, distracting from the ceremony, etc. 

Maggie0829

Knottie94235400 said:

I disagree. I don't think it's rude - depending of course on how you present it... There are some very cute signs on pinterest (e.g. chalkboard signs you can place at the entrance) kindly asking guests to not use electronics, no flash, letting guests know you will share all the pictures for free, etc.  It is true that your guests might end up taking a lot of great pictures, so maybe consider letting them take pictures, but kindly asking them to stay in their seat so they're not blocking aunt so-and-so's view, distracting from the ceremony, etc. 

Well if you have a cute sing then of course it could never been seen as rude!

mikenberger

Knottie94235400 said:

I disagree. I don't think it's rude - depending of course on how you present it... There are some very cute signs on pinterest (e.g. chalkboard signs you can place at the entrance) kindly asking guests to not use electronics, no flash, letting guests know you will share all the pictures for free, etc.  It is true that your guests might end up taking a lot of great pictures, so maybe consider letting them take pictures, but kindly asking them to stay in their seat so they're not blocking aunt so-and-so's view, distracting from the ceremony, etc. 

NO. A cute sign doesn't camouflage rude. 

If you're concerned with people getting into the aisle, put something on the sides of the chairs that line the aisle. That will keep people in their seats. And I've never once, in all my weddings in attendance, have seen someone stand up in the middle of a ceremony for a photo. Put their hands up quickly for a snapshot, yes. Stand up? No. And like I said, if you're bothered by these people and you're giving them attention, you're focused on the WRONG thing for your wedding.

Maggie0829

mikenberger said:

Knottie94235400 said:

I disagree. I don't think it's rude - depending of course on how you present it... There are some very cute signs on pinterest (e.g. chalkboard signs you can place at the entrance) kindly asking guests to not use electronics, no flash, letting guests know you will share all the pictures for free, etc.  It is true that your guests might end up taking a lot of great pictures, so maybe consider letting them take pictures, but kindly asking them to stay in their seat so they're not blocking aunt so-and-so's view, distracting from the ceremony, etc. 

NO. A cute sign doesn't camouflage rude. 

If you're concerned with people getting into the aisle, put something on the sides of the chairs that line the aisle. That will keep people in their seats. And I've never once, in all my weddings in attendance, have seen someone stand up in the middle of a ceremony for a photo. Put their hands up quickly for a snapshot, yes. Stand up? No. And like I said, if you're bothered by these people and you're giving them attention, you're focused on the WRONG thing for your wedding.

I have seen this but the people stood in the back of the venue so that they weren't blocking anyone/weren't in the way.  They certainly weren't in the middle of the seating area and just stood up to take a picture.

PrettyGirlLost

Knottie52449923 said:

I think this is the first and only time I want to be posting on a Knot thread as I embark on the wedding planning process. The personal attacks and overly-aggressive comments by people who have taken it upon themselves to monitor and disprove anyone who disagrees with them in this forum is enough to turn me off from seeking out advice on these threads in the future. I just feel compelled to say...

Yes, you are on an ETIQUETTE thread. So perhaps everyone can respond and share differing opinions a more polite manner that is a much better representation of a respectful discussion on etiquette. 

We ARE being polite.  Answering a question with "Yes, that is rude and here's why" is engaging in a polite discussion.

You folks flying in from the email are the ones getting upset because we aren't validating your rude idea.

jmamor

I do not think it is rude.  And I plan on asking my guests not to take photos during the ceremony.  In my opinion it is not about stopping everyone from taking photos but limiting the chances of someone getting in the photographers way.  I understand that a lot of the time people never get to see the professional photos but I am making additional arrangements so they can.  I have a free online gallery where anyone can download photos.  I am also getting a flash drive of all the photos and I will copy them for anyone who asks.  Finally I love printing out photos and giving them as gifts so I will be doing that for the majority of my guests.  

PrettyGirlLost

jmamor said:

I do not think it is rude.  And I plan on asking my guests not to take photos during the ceremony.  In my opinion it is not about stopping everyone from taking photos but limiting the chances of someone getting in the photographers way.  I understand that a lot of the time people never get to see the professional photos but I am making additional arrangements so they can.  I have a free online gallery where anyone can download photos.  I am also getting a flash drive of all the photos and I will copy them for anyone who asks.  Finally I love printing out photos and giving them as gifts so I will be doing that for the majority of my guests.  

Please read this article: http://blog.craigmitchelldyer.com/2013/05/30/unplugged-wedding-no-way-plug-in/

"It is our job as photographers to get the image no matter what. Someone steps in our way? Move.

Flash from a camera messing up your photo, well, that’s why my camera shoots 8 frames a second. I’ll have 7 other images to choose from and chances are, my flashes will screw up their images more than the other way around. I feel bad about that!

During the ceremony, for the most part, the guests can’t move. I can. I can find another angle, I can move to the right or left I can kneel down or stand high, I have many options at my disposal to capture the images I am being paid (a lot of money) to capture. That is my job. It is my job as a photojournalist to read body language and know when someone is going to step in front of me. It is my job to know where the “action” is. It is my job to capture every moment as it happens and I don’t mind one bit if 100 other people are doing the same."

cupcait927

Who are these photographers that everyone is hiring that can't do their job?! I would be pissed knowing that I spent potentially thousands of dollars on a photographer that didn't know how to take photos because someone *might* get in their way. I'm fairly certain if I had told our photographer (who is also a friend of ours) that I told everyone else not to take pictures because I didn't think he could do his job otherwise, he would've told me I was being silly.

KatWAG

rubiowedding16 said:

I guess I'm the strange one because I totally agree with you. I am letting my guests know that we are having an "unplugged" wedding. Photos will be permitted after the dances and cake cutting. And none during the ceremony. If my guests don't like it, then don't come. Guests should also respect the wishes of the bride and groom. I also feel that while looking at my pictures, I don't want to see iPads or iPhones or cameras taking pictures. I want my guests to be present and take in everything from the wedding as I do. I say do it.

Who takes pictures with an iPad?

Maggie0829

KatWAG said:

rubiowedding16 said:

I guess I'm the strange one because I totally agree with you. I am letting my guests know that we are having an "unplugged" wedding. Photos will be permitted after the dances and cake cutting. And none during the ceremony. If my guests don't like it, then don't come. Guests should also respect the wishes of the bride and groom. I also feel that while looking at my pictures, I don't want to see iPads or iPhones or cameras taking pictures. I want my guests to be present and take in everything from the wedding as I do. I say do it.

Who takes pictures with an iPad?

You would be surprised.  When I went to Disney World last year there were a boat load of people pulling out their iPads to video/take pictures of the parade.

cupcait927

KatWAG said:

rubiowedding16 said:

I guess I'm the strange one because I totally agree with you. I am letting my guests know that we are having an "unplugged" wedding. Photos will be permitted after the dances and cake cutting. And none during the ceremony. If my guests don't like it, then don't come. Guests should also respect the wishes of the bride and groom. I also feel that while looking at my pictures, I don't want to see iPads or iPhones or cameras taking pictures. I want my guests to be present and take in everything from the wedding as I do. I say do it.

Who takes pictures with an iPad?

H's uncle's girlfriend did! I just smiled when I saw she was taking pictures with it and thought it was very sweet that she wanted pictures that much (no iphone/smart phone with a camera that nice). She actually got the best picture I have of my dad walking me down the aisle.

thisismynickname2

cupcait927 said:

KatWAG said:

rubiowedding16 said:

I guess I'm the strange one because I totally agree with you. I am letting my guests know that we are having an "unplugged" wedding. Photos will be permitted after the dances and cake cutting. And none during the ceremony. If my guests don't like it, then don't come. Guests should also respect the wishes of the bride and groom. I also feel that while looking at my pictures, I don't want to see iPads or iPhones or cameras taking pictures. I want my guests to be present and take in everything from the wedding as I do. I say do it.

Who takes pictures with an iPad?

H's uncle's girlfriend did! I just smiled when I saw she was taking pictures with it and thought it was very sweet that she wanted pictures that much (no iphone/smart phone with a camera that nice). She actually got the best picture I have of my dad walking me down the aisle.

Hee hee hee!

jmamor

PrettyGirlLost said:

jmamor said:

I do not think it is rude.  And I plan on asking my guests not to take photos during the ceremony.  In my opinion it is not about stopping everyone from taking photos but limiting the chances of someone getting in the photographers way.  I understand that a lot of the time people never get to see the professional photos but I am making additional arrangements so they can.  I have a free online gallery where anyone can download photos.  I am also getting a flash drive of all the photos and I will copy them for anyone who asks.  Finally I love printing out photos and giving them as gifts so I will be doing that for the majority of my guests.  

Please read this article: http://blog.craigmitchelldyer.com/2013/05/30/unplugged-wedding-no-way-plug-in/

"It is our job as photographers to get the image no matter what. Someone steps in our way? Move.

Flash from a camera messing up your photo, well, that’s why my camera shoots 8 frames a second. I’ll have 7 other images to choose from and chances are, my flashes will screw up their images more than the other way around. I feel bad about that!

During the ceremony, for the most part, the guests can’t move. I can. I can find another angle, I can move to the right or left I can kneel down or stand high, I have many options at my disposal to capture the images I am being paid (a lot of money) to capture. That is my job. It is my job as a photojournalist to read body language and know when someone is going to step in front of me. It is my job to know where the “action” is. It is my job to capture every moment as it happens and I don’t mind one bit if 100 other people are doing the same."

Thanks for the article. I will read it when I have a chance.  However I have a feeling that I am not going to change my mind.  I have spoken with my photographer, my fiance, and my parents and this is the best decision for us.  I am not imposing my view on anyone else in the thread.  Just stating what I plan to do.  

floridabride44

To all the brides saying you want your guests to be "in the moment" - here's the thing. I understand where you're coming from, but that's not something you can force upon other people. Ever. And it's rude to try. Being "in the moment" is a personal choice. For example, most of the time I am a huge picture-taker. I love it. But at my own wedding I'm going to choose to be in the moment and leave photos up to other people. (obviously during the ceremony, but I'm talking about photos while getting ready, in the limo, at the reception, etc) Nobody has the right to tell me "It's your wedding, you must be in the moment and not take photos" but I'm choosing to do so. But other brides might want to snap hundreds of photos at their own wedding, and that's okay too. 

Growing up, my dad used to take video of all my dance recitals, school programs, graduations, etc. Then one day when I was older he mentioned that he's viewed all my big moments through a video screen and was a little sad about that. I totally get it. So he said he might just watch my college graduation instead of filming it, if I was okay with that. It was his personal choice to be "in the moment" and I thought that was great, because it's what he wanted. 

That's where the difference is. It's a personal choice. If someone wants to watch your wedding without the distraction of taking photos, it's their choice. You can't force anyone to be "in the moment". And I guarantee you, if someone snaps a photo, that's 1/2 a second of their time, and then they're back to paying attention. 

Now, people coming into the aisle to take photos is infuriating, but like PPs have said, no sentence in a program or cheesy sign at the ceremony entrance is going to stop those people. So, let it go, enjoy your day, and most importantly, let your guests enjoy their day. 

banana468

jmamor said:

I do not think it is rude.  And I plan on asking my guests not to take photos during the ceremony.  In my opinion it is not about stopping everyone from taking photos but limiting the chances of someone getting in the photographers way.  I understand that a lot of the time people never get to see the professional photos but I am making additional arrangements so they can.  I have a free online gallery where anyone can download photos.  I am also getting a flash drive of all the photos and I will copy them for anyone who asks.  Finally I love printing out photos and giving them as gifts so I will be doing that for the majority of my guests.  

This is something your photographer needs to handle.

Using this excuse is the ceremonial equivalent of telling guests that they're limited to a certain qty of drinks.

When the message you send to your guests is that you don't trust that they'll know how to behave, it comes off as extremely condescending. And when you're a generation younger than a lot of your guests, that's also a really bad taste to put in their mouths.

They are pictures. And your guests love you. Is it really worth being viewed as a patronizing control freak when all they want is to capture you smiling? Because if you control them that much, you may be the only one with the smile on your face.

Maggie0829

jmamor said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

jmamor said:

I do not think it is rude.  And I plan on asking my guests not to take photos during the ceremony.  In my opinion it is not about stopping everyone from taking photos but limiting the chances of someone getting in the photographers way.  I understand that a lot of the time people never get to see the professional photos but I am making additional arrangements so they can.  I have a free online gallery where anyone can download photos.  I am also getting a flash drive of all the photos and I will copy them for anyone who asks.  Finally I love printing out photos and giving them as gifts so I will be doing that for the majority of my guests.  

Please read this article: http://blog.craigmitchelldyer.com/2013/05/30/unplugged-wedding-no-way-plug-in/

"It is our job as photographers to get the image no matter what. Someone steps in our way? Move.

Flash from a camera messing up your photo, well, that’s why my camera shoots 8 frames a second. I’ll have 7 other images to choose from and chances are, my flashes will screw up their images more than the other way around. I feel bad about that!

During the ceremony, for the most part, the guests can’t move. I can. I can find another angle, I can move to the right or left I can kneel down or stand high, I have many options at my disposal to capture the images I am being paid (a lot of money) to capture. That is my job. It is my job as a photojournalist to read body language and know when someone is going to step in front of me. It is my job to know where the “action” is. It is my job to capture every moment as it happens and I don’t mind one bit if 100 other people are doing the same."

Thanks for the article. I will read it when I have a chance.  However I have a feeling that I am not going to change my mind.  I have spoken with my photographer, my fiance, and my parents and this is the best decision for us.  I am not imposing my view on anyone else in the thread.  Just stating what the rude thing I plan to do.  

FTFY.

tcnoble

So to everyone who plans to impose this "unplugged ceremony" I must ask..

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN PEOPLE DON'T LISTEN?!??!

Stop your ceremony and call out the person every time they hold up their phone? Jesus Christ. So maybe I want a picture of the bride and groom. I'm not going to run down the aisle and stand in front of your photographer. If they can't work around me, in the middle of row xyz, snapping a picture, then you hired a shit photographer. Sorrynotsorry.

These threads are exhausting just to read. Major props to you regs who take the time to respond in length. Sad that the snowflakes are so resistant to help and proper wedding planning advice.

banana468

jmamor said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

jmamor said:

I do not think it is rude.  And I plan on asking my guests not to take photos during the ceremony.  In my opinion it is not about stopping everyone from taking photos but limiting the chances of someone getting in the photographers way.  I understand that a lot of the time people never get to see the professional photos but I am making additional arrangements so they can.  I have a free online gallery where anyone can download photos.  I am also getting a flash drive of all the photos and I will copy them for anyone who asks.  Finally I love printing out photos and giving them as gifts so I will be doing that for the majority of my guests.  

Please read this article: http://blog.craigmitchelldyer.com/2013/05/30/unplugged-wedding-no-way-plug-in/

"It is our job as photographers to get the image no matter what. Someone steps in our way? Move.

Flash from a camera messing up your photo, well, that’s why my camera
shoots 8 frames a second. I’ll have 7 other images to choose from and
chances are, my flashes will screw up their images more than the other
way around. I feel bad about that!

During the ceremony, for the most
part, the guests can’t move. I can. I can find another angle, I can move
to the right or left I can kneel down or stand high, I have many
options at my disposal to capture the images I am being paid (a lot of
money) to capture. That is my job. It is my job as a photojournalist to
read body language and know when someone is going to step in front of
me. It is my job to know where the “action” is. It is my job to capture
every moment as it happens and I don’t mind one bit if 100 other people
are doing the same."

Thanks for the article. I will read it when I have a chance.  However I have a feeling that I am not going to change my mind.  I have spoken with my photographer, my fiance, and my parents and this is the best decision for us.  I am not imposing my view on anyone else in the thread.  Just stating what I plan to do.  

But you ARE imposing your view on all your guests.