How much is too much?
I'm a bridesmaid for a friend's wedding coming up this summer. I have been a bridesmaid twice before, once last year and once when I was younger, and was never in the predicament before of being so frustrated with how much a bride is expecting us to spend.
Current tally for wedding expenses
Bridesmaid dress - $305 (without alterations)
Alterations - $50?
Sandals (if we don't have some that work already) - $50
Up-do - required by bride - $100
Make up - $50
Destination bachelorette party - $1200 - yes, this is what they said it would cost in total. No, we're not even leaving the United States.
Wedding weekend accommodations and travel (it is out of town for everyone) - two hotel nights, driving out of state - $350
Gifts (bachelorette party, shower, wedding) - $150
TOTAL ESTIMATE - $2255
She also expects us to attend one of her showers, both of which are out of town for me. I will likely not attend for money's sake. Is it just me, or is this an absolutely asinine amount to expect from every bridesmaid? The MOH, who is planning the bachelorette party, seems to also be fine with that expected total for the party as well. I have no idea how to tell her that this is outrageous and simply too much. I know, I was the one who accepted the responsibility, but I had no idea it would get this out of control.
What do I do? Right now I have so much pent up frustration with her that I am avoiding seeing her because I don't want to hurt her feelings and tell her how much this is. But for a bridal party of 24-25 year olds (10 bridesmaids and 2 PA's total), to expect us all to spend so much seems so outrageous. Help!