DRAMA-Please HELP!

novella1186

Knottie10513705 said:

Totally get it, totally agree that it was out of line that the younger brother gets involved in the first place, plus the boyfriend feeling "uncomfortable" in the wedding now. Notes when my fiancé talked to the younger brother couple days ago, he pretty much stood firm that his boyfriend would rather not to be included in the wedding. Out of place, out of line.

Advice: as she had told the younger brother she wants everyone to get along, I am expecting her to see me next time and say something like "haven't talked to you in a while how's everything?". Do I not even mention why didn't you get back to me if you are concerned how everything was?

No, you fucking don't. That's being rude, antagonistic, hostile, and asking for trouble. You say "I'm doing well, thanks! How have you been?" Seriously, how do you not get this? 

Knottie10513705

Ok will do.

It was hard for me to grasp at first something this small could lead to a bigger problem involving everyone (FMIL, younger brother, the boyfriend), unnecessary.

Anyway we just got a quote from our florist, he asked how many corsages we need for the moms, and asked if we need additional for any in-laws in this case. Do I provide her a corsage or is it unnecessary?

PrettyGirlLost

Knottie10513705 said:

Totally get it, totally agree that it was out of line that the younger brother gets involved in the first place, plus the boyfriend feeling "uncomfortable" in the wedding now. Notes when my fiancé talked to the younger brother couple days ago, he pretty much stood firm that his boyfriend would rather not to be included in the wedding. Out of place, out of line.

Advice: as she had told the younger brother she wants everyone to get along, I am expecting her to see me next time and say something like "haven't talked to you in a while how's everything?". Do I not even mention why didn't you get back to me if you are concerned how everything was?

4 Pages now?!




There you go assuming things again.  You have no idea what your FSIL is going to say to you. . . unless you are psychic, consult tarot cards, or consult Miss Cleo.  Therefore, don't worry about this What If scenarios. . . is this something common that you do?  If so, stop!!!

And if your FSIL asks how you are or how are things going or any iteration of those common small talk phrases people use when trying to make polite small talk, DO NOT be snarky and petulant in your reply!!!!!!

mikenberger

Knottie10513705 said:

Ok will do.

It was hard for me to grasp at first something this small could lead to a bigger problem involving everyone (FMIL, younger brother, the boyfriend), unnecessary.

Anyway we just got a quote from our florist, he asked how many corsages we need for the moms, and asked if we need additional for any in-laws in this case. Do I provide her a corsage or is it unnecessary?

I fucking give up with you.

PrettyGirlLost

Knottie10513705 said:

Ok will do.

It was hard for me to grasp at first something this small could lead to a bigger problem involving everyone (FMIL, younger brother, the boyfriend), unnecessary.

Anyway we just got a quote from our florist, he asked how many corsages we need for the moms, and asked if we need additional for any in-laws in this case. Do I provide her a corsage or is it unnecessary?

You can give a corsage to whomever you wish to. 

I gave them to the MOG/FOG, MOB/FOB, the aunts and uncles I was closet to, and the family friends and friends I was closest to.  So all told, I think about 30 or so people got them, lol.

[Deleted User]

I would tell FI brother & his boyfriend & your MIL & FIL what you told us. First why you originally opted not to ask her to be in your bridal party & then what you did to reach out to her once you found out she was hurt & that you sent her a card asking her to be a BM. Of course they are probably hearing a different version of the events from her. But at least they have heard both sides and they can make their own judgements from there. As for your wedding, I would continue with your planning as you were and if she responds, then you deal with her based on her response. Good luck and try not to let this ruin your wedding planning or your wedding day.

Dreamergirl8812

Knottie10513705 said:

Ok will do.

It was hard for me to grasp at first something this small could lead to a bigger problem involving everyone (FMIL, younger brother, the boyfriend), unnecessary.

Anyway we just got a quote from our florist, he asked how many corsages we need for the moms, and asked if we need additional for any in-laws in this case. Do I provide her a corsage or is it unnecessary?

JAshley? Is that you? Did you get engaged? SQUEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

levioosa

Erikan73 said:

I would tell FI brother & his boyfriend & your MIL & FIL what you told us. First why you originally opted not to ask her to be in your bridal party & then what you did to reach out to her once you found out she was hurt & that you sent her a card asking her to be a BM. Of course they are probably hearing a different version of the events from her. But at least they have heard both sides and they can make their own judgements from there. As for your wedding, I would continue with your planning as you were and if she responds, then you deal with her based on her response. Good luck and try not to let this ruin your wedding planning or your wedding day.

Nooooo!  Don't hash this out with anyone else.  Just let it go. 

MyNameIsNot

Knottie10513705 said:

Totally get it, totally agree that it was out of line that the younger brother gets involved in the first place, plus the boyfriend feeling "uncomfortable" in the wedding now. Notes when my fiancé talked to the younger brother couple days ago, he pretty much stood firm that his boyfriend would rather not to be included in the wedding. Out of place, out of line.

Advice: as she had told the younger brother she wants everyone to get along, I am expecting her to see me next time and say something like "haven't talked to you in a while how's everything?". Do I not even mention why didn't you get back to me if you are concerned how everything was?

I honestly don't know how you can ask this and still claim to dislike drama. 

flantastic

MyNameIsNot said:

Knottie10513705 said:

Totally get it, totally agree that it was out of line that the younger brother gets involved in the first place, plus the boyfriend feeling "uncomfortable" in the wedding now. Notes when my fiancé talked to the younger brother couple days ago, he pretty much stood firm that his boyfriend would rather not to be included in the wedding. Out of place, out of line.

Advice: as she had told the younger brother she wants everyone to get along, I am expecting her to see me next time and say something like "haven't talked to you in a while how's everything?". Do I not even mention why didn't you get back to me if you are concerned how everything was?

I honestly don't know how you can ask this and still claim to dislike drama. 

Yeah, I think you may need to practice the art of small talk.

mikenberger

flantastic said:

MyNameIsNot said:

Knottie10513705 said:

Totally get it, totally agree that it was out of line that the younger brother gets involved in the first place, plus the boyfriend feeling "uncomfortable" in the wedding now. Notes when my fiancé talked to the younger brother couple days ago, he pretty much stood firm that his boyfriend would rather not to be included in the wedding. Out of place, out of line.

Advice: as she had told the younger brother she wants everyone to get along, I am expecting her to see me next time and say something like "haven't talked to you in a while how's everything?". Do I not even mention why didn't you get back to me if you are concerned how everything was?

I honestly don't know how you can ask this and still claim to dislike drama. 

Yeah, I think you may need to practice the art of small talk.

Or just not saying anything at all. 

redoryx

Knottie10513705 said:

Totally get it, totally agree that it was out of line that the younger brother gets involved in the first place, plus the boyfriend feeling "uncomfortable" in the wedding now. Notes when my fiancé talked to the younger brother couple days ago, he pretty much stood firm that his boyfriend would rather not to be included in the wedding. Out of place, out of line.

Advice: as she had told the younger brother she wants everyone to get along, I am expecting her to see me next time and say something like "haven't talked to you in a while how's everything?". Do I not even mention why didn't you get back to me if you are concerned how everything was?

Knottie10513705

Ok I get it I am over it - I really like those images/short videos you guys posted how do you do that?

Anyway is she getting a corsage or no? One of my friends also advice maybe can give her a special position for her to read a poem or something during the ceremony I am not sure if I need to go there...? Advice?

mikenberger

Knottie10513705 said:

Ok I get it I am over it - I really like those images/short videos you guys posted how do you do that?

Anyway is she getting a corsage or no? One of my friends also advice maybe can give her a special position for her to read a poem or something during the ceremony I am not sure if I need to go there...? Advice?

flantastic

Knottie10513705 said:

Ok I get it I am over it - I really like those images/short videos you guys posted how do you do that?

Anyway is she getting a corsage or no? One of my friends also advice maybe can give her a special position for her to read a poem or something during the ceremony I am not sure if I need to go there...? Advice?

You don't need to offer anything in terms of position. It will still probably come across as a consolation prize and she's made it clear that she doesn't need or want that. I see no problem with you offering her a corsage, but there should also be no drama if you only get them for mothers and grandmothers.

thespeshulestsnowflake

levioosa

Knottie10513705 said:

Ok I get it I am over it - I really like those images/short videos you guys posted how do you do that?

Anyway is she getting a corsage or no? One of my friends also advice maybe can give her a special position for her to read a poem or something during the ceremony I am not sure if I need to go there...? Advice?

*sigh*

I would just get mothers and grandmothers corsages.  It's a clear boundary line and shouldn't cause any problems.  ETA: If it does cause problems, ignore them.  Anyone with half a brain will just ignore it because getting upset over the lack of a corsage is petty. 

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levioosa

Oh, and I would not pester her anymore about anything wedding related, including a reading.  She has made it clear that she would prefer not to be involved. 

If you keep bugging her, this is how you're going to come off:

Knottie10513705

HAHAHAHAHA omg I can't even with the giraffe!! 

NowIamMrsKlein

novella1186

Knottie10513705

Kisses to you all!

mikenberger

Knottie10513705

NowIAmSyp

Knottie10513705 said:

Kisses to you all!

NowIamMrsKlein

Knottie10513705 said:

Kisses to you all!

Knottie10513705

Knottie10513705

drunkenwitch

No words, I shall only use GIFS

First Post:

My fiancé didn't have a choice because the younger brother told him that his boyfriend is super uncomfortable to be in the wedding as she wasn't in my wedding, which I also disagree it almost as he was siding with her childish behavior.

how could someone treats a bride like this knowing this will certainly cause distress?

It's almost 3 months now since she told her husband she was "upset" that's what lead to I called her 3 times, texted twice, emailed once, and a card.

No I absolutely hate drama.

Advice: as she had told the younger brother she wants everyone to get along, I am expecting her to see me next time and say something like "haven't talked to you in a while how's everything?". Do I not even mention why didn't you get back to me if you are concerned how everything was?

It was hard for me to grasp at first something this small could lead to a bigger problem involving everyone (FMIL, younger brother, the boyfriend), unnecessary.

Anyway we just got a quote from our florist, he asked how many corsages we need for the moms, and asked if we need additional for any in-laws in this case. Do I provide her a corsage or is it unnecessary?

and for the remainder of the thread

Knottie10513705