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Vent

In this week's episode of H's pissy pants behavior, he got mad at me for washing clothes he left wadded up on the floor. Because they were his workout pants, but he wore them for pj pants last night, but he left them on the floor so of course I was supposed to know he wanted to work out in them tonight.

He always leaves his clothes on the floor and I always throw them in the hamper. Today I did laundry. But he's irritated I had the audacity to assume clothes on the floor this time meant they were dirty. Like, after I told him they were in the washer, I heard him muttering and more than one "fuck" as he tried to find other pants. And when he confronted me, I told him clothes on the floor means they are dirty. It always has, and he knows I'm probably going to wash anything he leaves on the floor unless it's jeans because we rewear those a few times. He just snapped "ok" and stormed off.

Normally I try to see his side of being irritated, as I always hope someday he will do for me, but in this case I'm all fuck you, dude, this is your fault. Don't want me washing your clothes? Pick them up! You're 33!
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Re: Vent

  • Fi does similar things although he doesn't really get pissy about it.  He has various stages of clothes on a clean/ dirty spectrum, and somehow the part of the floor they are on... or what chair... or on the bed... denotes how far along the dirty/clean spectrum they are.  

    Honestly I'm the one who gets more frustrated about it because I never know what's clean or dirty when I'm trying to straighten up.  So sometimes I just needlessly wash things he's slept in once because it was on the floor.  Oh well.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  • I will hold my tongue if it's one article of clothing on the floor, but I very quickly got my fiancé out of the habit (several years ago) of leaving lots of clothes on the floor. My tolerance for that kind of sloppiness is so low.

    He often leaves a sweatshirt or sweatpants on the ground next to the bed at night, and one of us usually picks it up by the next morning. Usually nothing is on the ground for more than a day. It's seriously not hard to walk something over to the hamper or dresser if it's not ready to be washed. I don't get it. You sound much more patient with this than I would be.

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  • NavyBlue143NavyBlue143 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2015
    Oh I'm not patient. I'm sitting here fuming. The hamper is exactly 4 feet from his side of the bed, where his clothes always end up. When I plan to rewear a thing but am too lazy to put it back or hang it, I'll leave it on the dresser, my desk chair, or folded on the bathroom counter. Not on the damn floor. We have 2 dogs and 2 cats. Things on the floor are not clean. They're 50% fur. But he still wants to bitch, have a fit, and be pissy to me over a pair of workout pants. He expects me to just know that this time he left something on the floor because he wanted to reuse it. He has 2 pairs, plus shorts. Right now I want to throw his wet pants at his head and tell him to do his own damn laundry if he's going to complain, because I do 95% of the housework around here and if he doesn't like it he can go back to living in the squalor I found him in. I'm irrationally furious over this.
  • Btw, if he was just mildly irritated I washed his pants, that wouldn't upset me. It's the slamming of dresser drawers, angry mutterings punctuated by fucks, and the subsequent lecture that I should know better that upsets me.
  • Talk about FWP.     "oh the horrors, my wife did my laundry"  Boo, boo.

    Sorry he is acting like an ass and treating you like this.   








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Why are you taking it upon yourself to do his laundry and then bitching when he doesn't like it?! Just stop. It's fairly simple.

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  • Guess what, ladies!  This childish behavior will not change.  After 38+ years of it, I just sigh and try to remember that he really loves me!
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  • Why are you taking it upon yourself to do his laundry and then bitching when he doesn't like it?! Just stop. It's fairly simple.

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    After this I'm sure not doing it anymore. He's never behaved this way before. He's grumbled when I've washed something but never pitched a fit about it. I'm not going to be tripping over his clothes either. Guess he'll just have a pile by his bedside.
  • You do 95% of the household work?  Is that something you are truly okay with?
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  • larrygagalarrygaga member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited February 2015
    Just stop washing his clothes omg this merits a thread
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  • At that reaction I would simply stop doing his laundry.
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  • Yeah. If DH pulled that he'd have to do his own laundry.

  • Why are you his maid?
  • If he is pitching such a fit, tell him he can wash his own clothes from now on.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • FI and I both have the bad habit of leaving clothes on the floor, and rather than sort through whose is whose, when it's time to do laundry I just throw everything in the hamper. But FI thanks me. If your dude doesn't want you to wash his clothes, he should put them in a hamper and wash them to his specifications.
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  • I'm gonna echo PPs and say don't do his laundry anymore. FI and I take turns doing laundry, and when it's my turn I have to tell him to go get me all the clothes out of his "secret pile." He tosses stuff into the corner between his dresser and the wall; some of it is dirty, some he'll wear again, and some is clean. (Never mind that the hamper is like 10 feet away). I'm not about to dig through his mess to try and figure out what's dirty, so he can do it. 

    If he bitched at me for any of it, he'd definitely be doing his own laundry. And mine. Ha. 
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  • I do all the laundry in our house as well - I have a lot of things that can't go in the dryer, and I'm positive DH would not check the labels and they would end up ruined. Even if I told him to check all the labels. Still wouldn't happen (he ruined a lot of his own clothes this way before I came along...).

    He also likes to throw stuff on the floor - sometimes he re-wears a pair of pants, sometimes it's just dirty stuff. He gets a 1 day warning of "I'm doing laundry tomorrow." If the next day it's not in the hamper, then it's not getting washed. Too bad, so sad. If he then wants it to be washed, he can do it himself.

    I'm with PPs that his getting upset at you because you washed his clothes is just plain absurd. Just as a question though, is there any way there's something else that's upsetting him and he's transferring that anger to this? I know that happens sometimes with DH when he's stressed at work. He'll get super upset about something small at home because of the stress. 
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  • allispain said:

    I'm with PPs that his getting upset at you because you washed his clothes is just plain absurd. Just as a question though, is there any way there's something else that's upsetting him and he's transferring that anger to this? I know that happens sometimes with DH when he's stressed at work. He'll get super upset about something small at home because of the stress. 

    THIS. Is it possible your H is upset about something else, and he just chose to flip out over something small as a way to get his frustration out.

    I'm not saying that that is the appropriate way for him to react but 9 times out of 10 if my FI gets mad at something small there's actually a whole other, mostly unrelated thing that he's upset about.

                                               

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  • Make him wash his own clothes.  If he's going to treat you poorly for doing something kind, then stop right now.
  • i think the only arguement we had over laundry was what detergent we were going to use. (im use to gain and love it, he buys other brands) or and what new washer and dryer we were going to get. 

    but if FI pulled some shit like that he can do his own laundry, after a few tries if he doesnt know how to do laundry he will beg you do his again. a lot of men i know cant do their own laundry (my dad is one of them) my FI on the other hand knows how to do his laundry but doesn't read tags which is annoying. 
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  • My DH does his own laundry and I do mine. Saves a lot of issues and stress that way. We figured we had been doing our own laundry for over a decade, why change just because we are together? We just wait until we have a full load of our own stuff.
  • Ok so, my FI is pretty sloppy.... With everything... I have however gotten him to the point where he will seperate the towels, whites, and colors with the laundry, and he will clean his pockets.  I still throw the clothes in the wash, and fold them, but small victories...
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  • I also do the laundry in our house. First off I think it is a pretty easy chore as the machine's do most of the work... and I enjoy folding (you get to watch TV while doing it...)

    H also had random piles everywhere and I just give him anywhere from 20 min to 1 day's notice I will be doing a load and to put everything in the Hamper he wants washed. The only things I really make sure is ok is the stuff that we hang dry as that can take a day or 2 to dry.

    Is this the first time he got mad about this? If so maybe as PP has mentioned there is another issue. If this happens often, that is not cool and I wouldn't do his laundry anymore.
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  • I do the laundry.  DH also leaves piles of clothes by the bed and on a shelf in the closet and I don't know what is clean or dirty.

    Before I do laundry I just tell him I need all his dirty clothes in the hampers ASAP.  If it doesn't get in the hamper it doesn't get washed, too bad, so sad.

    I still get annoyed a the piles in the floor, but I do a pile on the dresser of things I've worn but are still clean so I really can't wine about it.

    I also would suspect your DH was annoyed at something else and this was the anger coming out in general, not about the pants so much.

    When he calms down I would ask him about it and see if you can get him to open up.
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  • edited February 2015
    This makes me laugh bc I'm the one who leaves clothes on the floor of the bedroom all. The. Time. ETA: Ew, I put an embarrassed smiley and it deleted the rest of my post! But I do the laundry so it's cool. Well DH hates it but it's just on my side of the bed.. Any who, OP, tell him to go run his anger off. In a new pair of pants.
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