"PPD" is cruel

snowflakeftw

Dreamergirl8812 said: snowflakeftw said: marshallra said: I planned a wedding for my daughter several years ago and used the community for lots of info and ideas. My son is now getting married so I am back reading. I was surprised by the thread above about PPD. Had no idea what it was. A few days ago read a thread about a young medical student who had planned a wedding in Colorado but was now going to get married quickly because her Dad was very ill. Frankly I was shocked by the tone of the responses to her, and was reminded of a young couple I married several years ago. They had gotten engaged, but lived in different cities. Shortly after the engagement the bride lost her job and after several months of looking without any luck moved to the groom's city and took a waitressing job until something in her field came up. She had no health insurance, but figured it was only for a short time and she was young and healthy. The set a date for a year later and started planning their wedding. Unfortunately the unthinkable happened and the bride was diagnosed with a particularly nasty and deadly form of cancer. She was hospitalized in isolation the day she was diagnosed and her 30 day survival rate was less than 25%. Within a few days the young women and her groom to be realized that the only way to cover her care financially was to have her on his insurance by getting married. Three days after diagnosis the couple, their mothers and I legally married them. No one else knew, not even their fathers. . She survived, and was released from the hospital after a few months. The original wedding date came and went but she was still recieving chemo and far too sick, so it was put off. Two years after the initial diaganosis they had their wedding. They had a shower and a rehearsal dinner, a white dress and all the trimmings. The bride changed her name after that day. This couple had been through hell and back and neither of their mothers nor I felt anything but joy to see them celebrate their love and life. Her medical treatment ( which is still ongoing) has had to have cost nearly a million dollars. She would have had to file bankrupcy to clear the debt, and who knows if some of the life saving care she recieved would have been available to her. I think etiquette is designed to help people, not to hurt them. The notion is to follow rules so people know what to expect and feel comfortable. It should not be used to judge others. The response to the medical student who was going to marry so her Dad could be there that she could "have a party but not a reception- no white dress or other parties" was, in my humble opinion cruel. If you object to being invited to a wedding you don't approve of, don't go, but don't take away whatever joy she can find in a very difficult time. I am old enough to,remember when brides who " had to get married" were considered shameful. I remember when I wanted to give a shower for a friend's daughter in that condition. My friend objected saying we shouldn't celebrate the baby on the way. I gave the shower, and in the end my friend agreed. Babies concieved before wedlock are just as loved and just in as much need, and should be celebrated just as much as those concieved on a more conventional schedule. I think the world has caught up to that notion because it was a kinder and fairer way to be. I hope that we can be kinder and fairer to those who for whatever circumstance find themselves being "PPD". Be glad you never had to make that choice. Well, I think times haven't caught up yet. It is obviously not an etiquette breach to be pregnant before the wedding, (or with child) but people will talk. I mean it is what it is. If you look up for the definition of bastard it explains that it is a child born of parents not married to each other. 
People choose to be cruel. What?

--------------edit for box
The point is, family, friends, whatever, they are going to talk shit about "you" regardless of the situation if they decide to. They can choose not to, and be happy about a "PPD" or a hypothetical pregnancy before being married. 

manateehugger

snowflakeftw said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

snowflakeftw said:

marshallra said:

I planned a wedding for my daughter several years ago and used the community for lots of info and ideas. My son is now getting married so I am back reading. I was surprised by the thread above about PPD. Had no idea what it was. A few days ago read a thread about a young medical student who had planned a wedding in Colorado but was now going to get married quickly because her Dad was very ill. Frankly I was shocked by the tone of the responses to her, and was reminded of a young couple I married several years ago. They had gotten engaged, but lived in different cities. Shortly after the engagement the bride lost her job and after several months of looking without any luck moved to the groom's city and took a waitressing job until something in her field came up. She had no health insurance, but figured it was only for a short time and she was young and healthy. The set a date for a year later and started planning their wedding. Unfortunately the unthinkable happened and the bride was diagnosed with a particularly nasty and deadly form of cancer. She was hospitalized in isolation the day she was diagnosed and her 30 day survival rate was less than 25%. Within a few days the young women and her groom to be realized that the only way to cover her care financially was to have her on his insurance by getting married. Three days after diagnosis the couple, their mothers and I legally married them. No one else knew, not even their fathers. . She survived, and was released from the hospital after a few months. The original wedding date came and went but she was still recieving chemo and far too sick, so it was put off. Two years after the initial diaganosis they had their wedding. They had a shower and a rehearsal dinner, a white dress and all the trimmings. The bride changed her name after that day. This couple had been through hell and back and neither of their mothers nor I felt anything but joy to see them celebrate their love and life. Her medical treatment ( which is still ongoing) has had to have cost nearly a million dollars. She would have had to file bankrupcy to clear the debt, and who knows if some of the life saving care she recieved would have been available to her. I think etiquette is designed to help people, not to hurt them. The notion is to follow rules so people know what to expect and feel comfortable. It should not be used to judge others. The response to the medical student who was going to marry so her Dad could be there that she could "have a party but not a reception- no white dress or other parties" was, in my humble opinion cruel. If you object to being invited to a wedding you don't approve of, don't go, but don't take away whatever joy she can find in a very difficult time. I am old enough to,remember when brides who " had to get married" were considered shameful. I remember when I wanted to give a shower for a friend's daughter in that condition. My friend objected saying we shouldn't celebrate the baby on the way. I gave the shower, and in the end my friend agreed. Babies concieved before wedlock are just as loved and just in as much need, and should be celebrated just as much as those concieved on a more conventional schedule. I think the world has caught up to that notion because it was a kinder and fairer way to be. I hope that we can be kinder and fairer to those who for whatever circumstance find themselves being "PPD". Be glad you never had to make that choice.

Well, I think times haven't caught up yet. It is obviously not an etiquette breach to be pregnant before the wedding, (or with child) but people will talk. 

I mean it is what it is. If you look up for the definition of bastard it explains that it is a child born of parents not married to each other. 

People choose to be cruel.

What?

--------------edit for box

The point is, family, friends, whatever, they are going to talk shit about "you" regardless of the situation if they decide to. They can choose not to, and be happy about a "PPD" or a hypothetical pregnancy before being married. 

ETA Stupid Box _______________________________________

So I should just choose to be happy every time someone lies to my face about something pretty major - all to make sure I still show up to celebrate and buy them a gift? Yeah. no.

If you care about people, you don't lie to them about the important things.

snowflakeftw

manateehugger said:

snowflakeftw said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

snowflakeftw said:

marshallra said:

I planned a wedding for my daughter several years ago and used the community for lots of info and ideas. My son is now getting married so I am back reading. I was surprised by the thread above about PPD. Had no idea what it was. A few days ago read a thread about a young medical student who had planned a wedding in Colorado but was now going to get married quickly because her Dad was very ill. Frankly I was shocked by the tone of the responses to her, and was reminded of a young couple I married several years ago. They had gotten engaged, but lived in different cities. Shortly after the engagement the bride lost her job and after several months of looking without any luck moved to the groom's city and took a waitressing job until something in her field came up. She had no health insurance, but figured it was only for a short time and she was young and healthy. The set a date for a year later and started planning their wedding. Unfortunately the unthinkable happened and the bride was diagnosed with a particularly nasty and deadly form of cancer. She was hospitalized in isolation the day she was diagnosed and her 30 day survival rate was less than 25%. Within a few days the young women and her groom to be realized that the only way to cover her care financially was to have her on his insurance by getting married. Three days after diagnosis the couple, their mothers and I legally married them. No one else knew, not even their fathers. . She survived, and was released from the hospital after a few months. The original wedding date came and went but she was still recieving chemo and far too sick, so it was put off. Two years after the initial diaganosis they had their wedding. They had a shower and a rehearsal dinner, a white dress and all the trimmings. The bride changed her name after that day. This couple had been through hell and back and neither of their mothers nor I felt anything but joy to see them celebrate their love and life. Her medical treatment ( which is still ongoing) has had to have cost nearly a million dollars. She would have had to file bankrupcy to clear the debt, and who knows if some of the life saving care she recieved would have been available to her. I think etiquette is designed to help people, not to hurt them. The notion is to follow rules so people know what to expect and feel comfortable. It should not be used to judge others. The response to the medical student who was going to marry so her Dad could be there that she could "have a party but not a reception- no white dress or other parties" was, in my humble opinion cruel. If you object to being invited to a wedding you don't approve of, don't go, but don't take away whatever joy she can find in a very difficult time. I am old enough to,remember when brides who " had to get married" were considered shameful. I remember when I wanted to give a shower for a friend's daughter in that condition. My friend objected saying we shouldn't celebrate the baby on the way. I gave the shower, and in the end my friend agreed. Babies concieved before wedlock are just as loved and just in as much need, and should be celebrated just as much as those concieved on a more conventional schedule. I think the world has caught up to that notion because it was a kinder and fairer way to be. I hope that we can be kinder and fairer to those who for whatever circumstance find themselves being "PPD". Be glad you never had to make that choice.

Well, I think times haven't caught up yet. It is obviously not an etiquette breach to be pregnant before the wedding, (or with child) but people will talk. 

I mean it is what it is. If you look up for the definition of bastard it explains that it is a child born of parents not married to each other. 

People choose to be cruel.

What?

--------------edit for box

The point is, family, friends, whatever, they are going to talk shit about "you" regardless of the situation if they decide to. They can choose not to, and be happy about a "PPD" or a hypothetical pregnancy before being married. 

ETA Stupid Box _______________________________________

So I should just choose to be happy every time someone lies to my face about something pretty major - all to make sure I still show up to celebrate and buy them a gift? Yeah. no.

If you care about people, you don't lie to them about the important things.

-------

Nope, I think you should do and think however you want. I am just highlighting the fact that there are also people who will say heeeeeeeeeeey! come to my baby shower! and there is no wedding. 

no jop, no piece of paper, no BIG ASS WEDDING no ppd.

I don't side eye it, but I will talk about it on the side. 

chibiyui

snowflakeftw said:

manateehugger said:

snowflakeftw said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

snowflakeftw said:

marshallra said:

I planned a wedding for my daughter several years ago and used the community for lots of info and ideas. My son is now getting married so I am back reading. I was surprised by the thread above about PPD. Had no idea what it was. A few days ago read a thread about a young medical student who had planned a wedding in Colorado but was now going to get married quickly because her Dad was very ill. Frankly I was shocked by the tone of the responses to her, and was reminded of a young couple I married several years ago. They had gotten engaged, but lived in different cities. Shortly after the engagement the bride lost her job and after several months of looking without any luck moved to the groom's city and took a waitressing job until something in her field came up. She had no health insurance, but figured it was only for a short time and she was young and healthy. The set a date for a year later and started planning their wedding. Unfortunately the unthinkable happened and the bride was diagnosed with a particularly nasty and deadly form of cancer. She was hospitalized in isolation the day she was diagnosed and her 30 day survival rate was less than 25%. Within a few days the young women and her groom to be realized that the only way to cover her care financially was to have her on his insurance by getting married. Three days after diagnosis the couple, their mothers and I legally married them. No one else knew, not even their fathers. . She survived, and was released from the hospital after a few months. The original wedding date came and went but she was still recieving chemo and far too sick, so it was put off. Two years after the initial diaganosis they had their wedding. They had a shower and a rehearsal dinner, a white dress and all the trimmings. The bride changed her name after that day. This couple had been through hell and back and neither of their mothers nor I felt anything but joy to see them celebrate their love and life. Her medical treatment ( which is still ongoing) has had to have cost nearly a million dollars. She would have had to file bankrupcy to clear the debt, and who knows if some of the life saving care she recieved would have been available to her. I think etiquette is designed to help people, not to hurt them. The notion is to follow rules so people know what to expect and feel comfortable. It should not be used to judge others. The response to the medical student who was going to marry so her Dad could be there that she could "have a party but not a reception- no white dress or other parties" was, in my humble opinion cruel. If you object to being invited to a wedding you don't approve of, don't go, but don't take away whatever joy she can find in a very difficult time. I am old enough to,remember when brides who " had to get married" were considered shameful. I remember when I wanted to give a shower for a friend's daughter in that condition. My friend objected saying we shouldn't celebrate the baby on the way. I gave the shower, and in the end my friend agreed. Babies concieved before wedlock are just as loved and just in as much need, and should be celebrated just as much as those concieved on a more conventional schedule. I think the world has caught up to that notion because it was a kinder and fairer way to be. I hope that we can be kinder and fairer to those who for whatever circumstance find themselves being "PPD". Be glad you never had to make that choice.

Well, I think times haven't caught up yet. It is obviously not an etiquette breach to be pregnant before the wedding, (or with child) but people will talk. 

I mean it is what it is. If you look up for the definition of bastard it explains that it is a child born of parents not married to each other. 

People choose to be cruel.

What?

--------------edit for box

The point is, family, friends, whatever, they are going to talk shit about "you" regardless of the situation if they decide to. They can choose not to, and be happy about a "PPD" or a hypothetical pregnancy before being married. 

ETA Stupid Box _______________________________________

So I should just choose to be happy every time someone lies to my face about something pretty major - all to make sure I still show up to celebrate and buy them a gift? Yeah. no.

If you care about people, you don't lie to them about the important things.

-------

Nope, I think you should do and think however you want. I am just highlighting the fact that there are also people who will say heeeeeeeeeeey! come to my baby shower! and there is no wedding. 

no jop, no piece of paper, no BIG ASS WEDDING no ppd.

I don't side eye it, but I will talk about it on the side. 

Aren't you a peach?

Dreamergirl8812

Wow. Comparing pre-marital sex (sans abortion) to a PPD. I never got KU, but I had plenty of sex before marriage. And it was awesome. But I would never make a joke out of marriage by play-acting a wedding ceremony when I'm already a wife.

Nope, I think you should do and think however you want. I am just highlighting the fact that there are also people who will say heeeeeeeeeeey! come to my baby shower! and there is no wedding. 

no jop, no piece of paper, no BIG ASS WEDDING no ppd.

I don't side eye it, but I will talk about it on the side.

FTFY. Also, FTFY.

snowflakeftw

Dreamergirl8812 said:

Wow. Comparing pre-marital sex (sans abortion) to a PPD. I never got KU, but I had plenty of sex before marriage. And it was awesome. But I would never make a joke out of marriage by play-acting a wedding ceremony when I'm already a wife.

Nope, I think you should do and think however you want. I am just highlighting the fact that there are also people who will say heeeeeeeeeeey! come to my baby shower! and there is no wedding. 

no jop, no piece of paper, no BIG ASS WEDDING no ppd.

I don't side eye it, but I will talk about it on the side.

FTFY. Also, FTFY.

---

you are entitled to your own opinion.

so am I

I will agree to disagree

snowflakeftw

(edited for double posting)

Dreamergirl8812

I'm going to a baby shower next Saturday. The couple is not married. It was a planned pregnancy, but they don't want to get married until his Father can come into the country. They could get married and have a fake wedding later. But that would be stupid.

slothiegal

snowflakeftw said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

Wow. Comparing pre-marital sex (sans abortion) to a PPD. I never got KU, but I had plenty of sex before marriage. And it was awesome. But I would never make a joke out of marriage by play-acting a wedding ceremony when I'm already a wife.

Nope, I think you should do and think however you want. I am just highlighting the fact that there are also people who will say heeeeeeeeeeey! come to my baby shower! and there is no wedding. 

no jop, no piece of paper, no BIG ASS WEDDING no ppd.

I don't side eye it, but I will talk about it on the side.

FTFY. Also, FTFY.

---

you are entitled to your own opinion.

so am I

I will agree to disagree

I see you're going to make a great addition to the Etiquette board.

snowflakeftw

Dreamergirl8812 said:

I'm going to a baby shower next Saturday. The couple is not married. It was a planned pregnancy, but they don't want to get married until his Father can come into the country. They could get married and have a fake wedding later. But that would be stupid.

there is a term, and I mentioned it before for children who are born outside of a marriage

lightningsnow

snowflakeftw said:

manateehugger said:

snowflakeftw said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

snowflakeftw said:

marshallra said:

I planned a wedding for my daughter several years ago and used the community for lots of info and ideas. My son is now getting married so I am back reading. I was surprised by the thread above about PPD. Had no idea what it was. A few days ago read a thread about a young medical student who had planned a wedding in Colorado but was now going to get married quickly because her Dad was very ill. Frankly I was shocked by the tone of the responses to her, and was reminded of a young couple I married several years ago. They had gotten engaged, but lived in different cities. Shortly after the engagement the bride lost her job and after several months of looking without any luck moved to the groom's city and took a waitressing job until something in her field came up. She had no health insurance, but figured it was only for a short time and she was young and healthy. The set a date for a year later and started planning their wedding. Unfortunately the unthinkable happened and the bride was diagnosed with a particularly nasty and deadly form of cancer. She was hospitalized in isolation the day she was diagnosed and her 30 day survival rate was less than 25%. Within a few days the young women and her groom to be realized that the only way to cover her care financially was to have her on his insurance by getting married. Three days after diagnosis the couple, their mothers and I legally married them. No one else knew, not even their fathers. . She survived, and was released from the hospital after a few months. The original wedding date came and went but she was still recieving chemo and far too sick, so it was put off. Two years after the initial diaganosis they had their wedding. They had a shower and a rehearsal dinner, a white dress and all the trimmings. The bride changed her name after that day. This couple had been through hell and back and neither of their mothers nor I felt anything but joy to see them celebrate their love and life. Her medical treatment ( which is still ongoing) has had to have cost nearly a million dollars. She would have had to file bankrupcy to clear the debt, and who knows if some of the life saving care she recieved would have been available to her. I think etiquette is designed to help people, not to hurt them. The notion is to follow rules so people know what to expect and feel comfortable. It should not be used to judge others. The response to the medical student who was going to marry so her Dad could be there that she could "have a party but not a reception- no white dress or other parties" was, in my humble opinion cruel. If you object to being invited to a wedding you don't approve of, don't go, but don't take away whatever joy she can find in a very difficult time. I am old enough to,remember when brides who " had to get married" were considered shameful. I remember when I wanted to give a shower for a friend's daughter in that condition. My friend objected saying we shouldn't celebrate the baby on the way. I gave the shower, and in the end my friend agreed. Babies concieved before wedlock are just as loved and just in as much need, and should be celebrated just as much as those concieved on a more conventional schedule. I think the world has caught up to that notion because it was a kinder and fairer way to be. I hope that we can be kinder and fairer to those who for whatever circumstance find themselves being "PPD". Be glad you never had to make that choice.

Well, I think times haven't caught up yet. It is obviously not an etiquette breach to be pregnant before the wedding, (or with child) but people will talk. 

I mean it is what it is. If you look up for the definition of bastard it explains that it is a child born of parents not married to each other. 

People choose to be cruel.

What?

--------------edit for box

The point is, family, friends, whatever, they are going to talk shit about "you" regardless of the situation if they decide to. They can choose not to, and be happy about a "PPD" or a hypothetical pregnancy before being married. 

ETA Stupid Box _______________________________________

So I should just choose to be happy every time someone lies to my face about something pretty major - all to make sure I still show up to celebrate and buy them a gift? Yeah. no.

If you care about people, you don't lie to them about the important things.

-------

Nope, I think you should do and think however you want. I am just highlighting the fact that there are also people who will say heeeeeeeeeeey! come to my baby shower! and there is no wedding. 

no jop, no piece of paper, no BIG ASS WEDDING no ppd.

I don't side eye it, but I will talk about it on the side. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------Stupid boxes

You sound like a peach. I was born out of wedlock over 26 years ago. My parents didn't get married until I was 3 years old. There were plenty of complications in their respective divorces and honestly didn't truly think about getting married. As far as I know, no one in their families looked down their nose at the fact that I was born out of wedlock. They were so happy that after 8 years another girl was born. So you can truly stuff your opinion somewhere nice.

BTW, I am proud to be a bastard.

chibiyui

snowflakeftw said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

I'm going to a baby shower next Saturday. The couple is not married. It was a planned pregnancy, but they don't want to get married until his Father can come into the country. They could get married and have a fake wedding later. But that would be stupid.

there is a term, and I mentioned it before for children who are born outside of a marriage

Also. Obvious troll is obvious, but I am bored.

lyndausvi

Why are we even comparing PPD and unwed births?

They are apples and oranges.  

The analogy doesn't work at all.   In the case of the unwed parent, they are not hiding anything.  They are not pretending NOT to be pregnant in order for their family and friends to think they are witnessing something for the first time.     Nope, actually the opposite is happening.  They are OWNING their choice to have a child out of wedlock.  They are actively telling the world "This is what we are doing and we are embracing it all the way."     Sure in some cases the timing might not have been ideal, BUT THAT ARE STILLING OWNING THEIR CHOICE.

The PPD couple, well they are coming across as embarrassed and/or ashamed at the situation they are currently in.   They have to be or why lie?  Why pretend you are not married when you really are?  They certainly are not OWNING THEIR CHOICE.  And yes, even if the situation is not ideal and you "have" to get married because of insurance, immigrations, deployment, whatever getting legally married is a CHOICE.  OWN your fucking choice.   

If you want to celebrate at more convenient t time.  Go for. Don't lie, don't call it your "real" wedding.  Just have a celebration.   As long as you host properly most people will still attend the party. 

rcher912

hahaha, I also love your username. Snowflake. Hm.

snowflakeftw

@lyndausvi I understand.

I was just following OP's comparison.

People will attend parties of course they will! 

southernbelle0915

g

snowflakeftw said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

I'm going to a baby shower next Saturday. The couple is not married. It was a planned pregnancy, but they don't want to get married until his Father can come into the country. They could get married and have a fake wedding later. But that would be stupid.

there is a term, and I mentioned it before for children who are born outside of a marriage

Yea nice try. Trolling is against the terms of service, just so you know. TOS violations can lead to warnings/banning. Again, just so you know.

snowflakeftw

southernbelle0915 said: g snowflakeftw said: Dreamergirl8812 said: I'm going to a baby shower next Saturday. The couple is not married. It was a planned pregnancy, but they don't want to get married until his Father can come into the country. They could get married and have a fake wedding later. But that would be stupid.
there is a term, and I mentioned it before for children who are born outside of a marriage Yea nice try. Trolling is against the terms of service, just so you know. TOS violations can lead to warnings/banning. Again, just so you know.


----box

I know exactly how the moderation works around here, lurked enough to know. Let's just not decide who is trolling just because we don't like the opinion one's expressing. 

I have NOT insulted, or said anything that is not true. I have only stated an opinion just like many others have. 

antoto

snowflakeftw said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

Wow. Comparing pre-marital sex (sans abortion) to a PPD. I never got KU, but I had plenty of sex before marriage. And it was awesome. But I would never make a joke out of marriage by play-acting a wedding ceremony when I'm already a wife.

Nope, I think you should do and think however you want. I am just highlighting the fact that there are also people who will say heeeeeeeeeeey! come to my baby shower! and there is no wedding. 

no jop, no piece of paper, no BIG ASS WEDDING no ppd.

I don't side eye it, but I will talk about it on the side.

FTFY. Also, FTFY.

---

you are entitled to your own opinion.

so am I

I will agree to disagree

Wait so what do you object to?  Sex before marriage?  That's a lot to object to since roughly 98-99% of Americans (sorry, don't have the stats for other countries) do not wait for marriage.  Do you object to not having an abortion if you get KU before marriage?  What happens if you never want to get married, you just don't get a kid? Or are you one of the ass hats who thinks if a woman finds out she's pregnant she should have a shotgun wedding, regardless of if she feels ready to marry the man?  My cousin  got his girlfriend pregnant.  She was thrilled to have a child but did not want to jump into a marriage ONLY because of the pregnancy (she's a really smart girl, you see). Several years later they did end up marrying and went on to have a very successful marriage and more children.  They are amazing.  You are not.

snowflakeftw

antoto said:

snowflakeftw said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

Wow. Comparing pre-marital sex (sans abortion) to a PPD. I never got KU, but I had plenty of sex before marriage. And it was awesome. But I would never make a joke out of marriage by play-acting a wedding ceremony when I'm already a wife.

Nope, I think you should do and think however you want. I am just highlighting the fact that there are also people who will say heeeeeeeeeeey! come to my baby shower! and there is no wedding. 

no jop, no piece of paper, no BIG ASS WEDDING no ppd.

I don't side eye it, but I will talk about it on the side.

FTFY. Also, FTFY.

---

you are entitled to your own opinion.

so am I

I will agree to disagree

Wait so what do you object to?  Sex before marriage?  That's a lot to object to since roughly 98-99% of Americans (sorry, don't have the stats for other countries) do not wait for marriage.  Do you object to not having an abortion if you get KU before marriage?  What happens if you never want to get married, you just don't get a kid? Or are you one of the ass hats who thinks if a woman finds out she's pregnant she should have a shotgun wedding, regardless of if she feels ready to marry the man?  My cousin  got his girlfriend pregnant.  She was thrilled to have a child but did not want to jump into a marriage ONLY because of the pregnancy (she's a really smart girl, you see). Several years later they did end up marrying and went on to have a very successful marriage and more children.  They are amazing.  You are not.

--------------

I am not here to talk about your family. Your cousin...etc. I gave an opinion, I am glad for your cousin, what, do you really want me to say OMG she should be in hell!!! 

Nope

I said what I said, I didn't target your family or other members. 

Just an opinion girl.

ETA: Goodnight ladies. It is Sat night. Enjoy!!!

southernbelle0915

snowflakeftw said:

southernbelle0915 said:

g

snowflakeftw said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

I'm going to a baby shower next Saturday. The couple is not married. It was a planned pregnancy, but they don't want to get married until his Father can come into the country. They could get married and have a fake wedding later. But that would be stupid.

there is a term, and I mentioned it before for children who are born outside of a marriage

Yea nice try. Trolling is against the terms of service, just so you know. TOS violations can lead to warnings/banning. Again, just so you know.

----box

I know exactly how the moderation works around here, lurked enough to know. Let's just not decide who is trolling just because we don't like the opinion one's expressing. 

I have NOT insulted, or said anything that is not true. I have only stated an opinion just like many others have. 

Oh really? Because no troll has ever started a new account, waited a couple days and then started posting shit stirring comments. No, you're right. That's not how trolling works.

flantastic

snowflakeftw said:

antoto said:

snowflakeftw said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

Wow. Comparing pre-marital sex (sans abortion) to a PPD. I never got KU, but I had plenty of sex before marriage. And it was awesome. But I would never make a joke out of marriage by play-acting a wedding ceremony when I'm already a wife.

Nope, I think you should do and think however you want. I am just
highlighting the fact that there are also people who will say
heeeeeeeeeeey! come to my baby shower! and there is no wedding. 

no jop, no piece of paper, no BIG ASS WEDDING no ppd.

I don't side eye it, but I will talk about it on the side.

FTFY. Also, FTFY.

---

you are entitled to your own opinion.

so am I

I will agree to disagree

Wait so what do you object to?  Sex before marriage?  That's a lot to object to since roughly 98-99% of Americans (sorry, don't have the stats for other countries) do not wait for marriage.  Do you object to not having an abortion if you get KU before marriage?  What happens if you never want to get married, you just don't get a kid? Or are you one of the ass hats who thinks if a woman finds out she's pregnant she should have a shotgun wedding, regardless of if she feels ready to marry the man?  My cousin  got his girlfriend pregnant.  She was thrilled to have a child but did not want to jump into a marriage ONLY because of the pregnancy (she's a really smart girl, you see). Several years later they did end up marrying and went on to have a very successful marriage and more children.  They are amazing.  You are not.


--------------

I am not here to talk about your family. Your cousin...etc. I gave an opinion, I am glad for your cousin, what, do you really want me to say OMG she should be in hell!!! 

Nope

I said what I said, I didn't target your family or other members. 

Just an opinion girl.

ETA: Goodnight ladies. It is Sat night. Enjoy!!!

Huh. My main problem with this snowflake is not that she's offensive (which I do think you're going out of your way to be, @snowflakeftw‌, which does make you a troll) but that she doesn't make any sense at all.

antoto

LOL  I like how you started this whole thread with an anecdote, and when I use one you get all miffed.  It's cool though.  It must be really tough having completely irrational beliefs and then being asked to back them up.  Life is hard.

Nighty night.

rcher912

oo, the mic drop. See, it's over now.

Rite? Amirite?

Oh, snowflake. Just no. You did more than state an opinion, you called someone's friend's child a literal bastard. Rude and tacky. Not cool. You implied this to the OPs initial analogy - two points make a line. You're calling all children born out of wedlock bastards, by the literal definition. Again, rude and pretty tacky.

If you're not going to explain yourself further, then please stop.

huskypuppy14

What the fuck! A baby shower is completely irrelevant to this conversation.

chibiyui

snowflakeftw said:

antoto said:

snowflakeftw said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

Wow. Comparing pre-marital sex (sans abortion) to a PPD. I never got KU, but I had plenty of sex before marriage. And it was awesome. But I would never make a joke out of marriage by play-acting a wedding ceremony when I'm already a wife.

Nope, I think you should do and think however you want. I am just highlighting the fact that there are also people who will say heeeeeeeeeeey! come to my baby shower! and there is no wedding. 

no jop, no piece of paper, no BIG ASS WEDDING no ppd.

I don't side eye it, but I will talk about it on the side.

FTFY. Also, FTFY.

---

you are entitled to your own opinion.

so am I

I will agree to disagree

Wait so what do you object to?  Sex before marriage?  That's a lot to object to since roughly 98-99% of Americans (sorry, don't have the stats for other countries) do not wait for marriage.  Do you object to not having an abortion if you get KU before marriage?  What happens if you never want to get married, you just don't get a kid? Or are you one of the ass hats who thinks if a woman finds out she's pregnant she should have a shotgun wedding, regardless of if she feels ready to marry the man?  My cousin  got his girlfriend pregnant.  She was thrilled to have a child but did not want to jump into a marriage ONLY because of the pregnancy (she's a really smart girl, you see). Several years later they did end up marrying and went on to have a very successful marriage and more children.  They are amazing.  You are not.

--------------

I am not here to talk about your family. Your cousin...etc. I gave an opinion, I am glad for your cousin, what, do you really want me to say OMG she should be in hell!!! 

Nope

I said what I said, I didn't target your family or other members. 

Just an opinion girl.

ETA: Goodnight ladies. It is Sat night. Enjoy!!!

slothiegal

southernbelle0915 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

g

snowflakeftw said:

Dreamergirl8812 said:

I'm going to a baby shower next Saturday. The couple is not married. It was a planned pregnancy, but they don't want to get married until his Father can come into the country. They could get married and have a fake wedding later. But that would be stupid.

there is a term, and I mentioned it before for children who are born outside of a marriage

Yea nice try. Trolling is against the terms of service, just so you know. TOS violations can lead to warnings/banning. Again, just so you know.

----box

I know exactly how the moderation works around here, lurked enough to know. Let's just not decide who is trolling just because we don't like the opinion one's expressing. 

I have NOT insulted, or said anything that is not true. I have only stated an opinion just like many others have. 

Oh really? Because no troll has ever started a new account, waited a couple days and then started posting shit stirring comments. No, you're right. That's not how trolling works. Don't forget the completely obvious username.  

SP29

snowflakeftw said:

Nope, I think you should do and think however you want. I am just highlighting the fact that there are also people who will say heeeeeeeeeeey! come to my baby shower! and there is no wedding. 

no jop, no piece of paper, no BIG ASS WEDDING no ppd.

I don't side eye it, but I will talk about it on the side. 

Um, what? This doesn't make sense.

Yeah, there are people who say "You are invited to my baby shower" without a wedding- so what? No. I won't talk about it on the side. 

Having a baby has nothing to do with getting married, thus the "example" makes no sense and doesn't support having a PPD. 

ohannabelle

Worst troll ever.

Okay, the only way the baby comparison even vaguely, in the wildest sense, could be compared to the PPD  would be if someone had a baby, pretended she didn't, dressed up in a maternity dress and invited all her friends and family to a big fancy baby shower, and then pretended she had a brand new baby. Because she wasn't happy with her first shower. Then we'd have a Pretty Pregnant Day. 

The marital status of the parents is irrelevant, it's just crazy ass self indulgent play acting. 

That's more the same, because grown ups don't lie and invest thousands of dollars in big make believe weddings and expect their friends to play make-pretend along with them. That's some serious LoopyLou crazy false behavior.

Also, it's stoopid. It's just stoopid. 

[Deleted User]

lc07

Dreamergirl8812 !