Is it silly to avoid a december baby?

themuffinman16

My H and I are TTC, and I was considering halting babymaking production for the month of March so I don't have a December baby.  December, everyone is always busy, and I would hate for future children to feel like an afterthought of the hectic Christmas Season. I, also, think a birthday during December will be a financial hardship on my family that doesn't have a lot of money, who have christmas presents for their own children/ grandchildren.  I have endometriosis, and wonder if I should give it my all.  I might be lucky if I get pregnant, and it could be a bad idea for me to put any limitations on getting pregnant.  Do any of you knotties love or hate your December birthdays?  WWYD in my position? Are there any of you that wanted an optimal time to have a baby, when you were all ready trying to conceive?

fwtx5815

My birthday is Dec 22 and I think it's silly to avoid TTC because of presents.

ETA: we always flew up north on my birthday for family Christmas celebrations but I didn't hate it at all. I loved getting to see family and friends on or around the day, it's a cheerful time of year, etc. I love being a December baby!

amelisha

My birthday is Christmas Eve, but I was a month early so even the best-laid plans aren't foolproof with this kind of thing, obviously.

It's never really bothered me much as I'm not into attention, but I admit I'm an only child of reasonably well-off parents who gave me a ton of gifts. However, I've only had a few birthday parties in my life and never on my actual birthday. We also generally do Christmas family stuff on my birthday rather than anything for my birthday, but as an adult it's all kind of the same thing anyway, eating and drinking and hanging out with family. It's never really been more than a minor irritation though.

Wegl13

If you are in the first 12 months I'd say halt for a month. If you have been TTC longer than that, baby make away. You know who was born in December? Jimmy Buffett.
Ha you thought I was going to say Jesus!
Anyways I feel like December birthdays can be a real bummer and trying to keep that from happening could be nice. Although the kid might be early or late anyways.

FiancB

I think it depends. Since you have endometriosis, I'd probably keep trying. 

I want a summer baby because H is a teacher and I'm currently a pro student so I don't think it's inherently silly to try to time things, but that's assuming at this time that we won't have any difficulties. If it took more than a few months I'd be jumping into the whenever-we-can camp. 

Kahlyla

My youngest son was born December 1st and it doesn't really make a difference to us. If anything, there aren't a whole lot of options for his birthday at that time - too cold to have it outside unless you're dong something super active and usually not enough snow yet for a tobogganing party. But that's just us, and we like to have parties out of doors.

KatWAG

I can relate. I really really didnt want to have a baby between mid april and end of May. It is my birthday, H's birthday, our wedding anniv, friends bdays, mother's day etc. Its SO busy.

If you think it would cause you and your family stress, then use a condom. I think your reason are completely valid.

IMO, I have an ideal times for having a baby. It would be to give birth in late Sept/ early October. Because fall is beautiful in the midwest so I could get outside on maternity leave, I would be home on maternity for the baby's first holidays. And when the baby is school age every is around for birthday parties.

H and I are about to start trying for #2 so I have given this a lot of thought.

nhultberg461

Both my kids are December babies, and my dad and me. Our family has a lot of December babies, and anniversaries.

I do separate my kids birthdays from their Christmas stuff though. That's just me though.

theartistformerlyknownas

H's birthday is 12/21. As if he didn't have to share enough of the spotlight with Jesus, his nephew was born the same day. His family has a lot of birthdays in December though so they always make sure to set aside one day out of the hubbub for solely December birthday celebrations.

I wouldn't wait and have to take any longer than necessary to get my hands on that little guy or gal. Plus like PP said, you never know if they'll be born on time.

PrettyGirlLost

FiancB said:

I think it depends. Since you have endometriosis, I'd probably keep trying. 

I want a summer baby because H is a teacher and I'm currently a pro student so I don't think it's inherently silly to try to time things, but that's assuming at this time that we won't have any difficulties. If it took more than a few months I'd be jumping into the whenever-we-can camp. 

Aw, sorry to hear OP.  Good luck TTC, though.

I was born at the beginning of January. . . that's not really much better then December ;-)

KatWAG

Wegl13 said:

If you are in the first 12 months I'd say halt for a month. If you have been TTC longer than that, baby make away. You know who was born in December? Jimmy Buffett.
Ha you thought I was going to say Jesus!
Anyways I feel like December birthdays can be a real bummer and trying to keep that from happening could be nice. Although the kid might be early or late anyways.

And Walt Disney! (Dec 5)

theycallmelinz

I agree with @Wegl13. If you're just starting to try, I would maybe wait because I agree that December is hectic and a kid might feel like his or her bday is an afterthought. My cousin's birthday is on Christmas Day and when we were younger we would still celebrate (we were totally at the bar on Christmas when she turned 21) but now that we're all older and have families, I feel like none of us have the time to get with her anymore after all the Christmas stuff settles down and I hate it because that would hurt my feelings if everyone was always busy on my birthday. 

ETA: But like others have said, you can only plan so much. Your uterus might have a plan of her own. 

lc07

Yay for TTC! If I thought I'd have a hard time getting pregnant, this wouldn't be a reason I would skip a month of trying. I'm not big on the huge birthday blowout thing anyway. I think a nice birthday celebration with immediate family and a friend or two is great. If people don't/can't buy your child gifts it's not a big deal. If they wanted to, they could always buy the gift in June or any other time and wait til December to give it. 

flutteringinfl

FiancB said:

I think it depends. Since you have endometriosis, I'd probably keep trying. 

I want a summer baby because H is a teacher and I'm currently a pro student so I don't think it's inherently silly to try to time things, but that's assuming at this time that we won't have any difficulties. If it took more than a few months I'd be jumping into the whenever-we-can camp. 

I was JUST thinking this. I work at a college and I'd like to continue working when I have kids. If I'm able to give birth say, early June that would be perfect because nothing's going on during the summer so it would be the perfect time to take maternity leave.

levieenrose

I'm a Dec 20 baby and my sister is a Christmas baby. We were not raised Christian, although my father's side is Catholic. It was always fine. We're well adjusted. And although my sister got presents for her birthday on her birthday, there was never any confusion about what they were for or that neither of us were entitled to get gifts for a holiday we did not celebrate. My father and grandma did get gifts, though, on Christmas for the holiday. of course, my dad always says that my sister was his favorite Christmas gift.

Honestly, I'd rather be at the height of pregnancy in the colder months and have no guilt eating too many holiday goodies. It seems like a good time to be pregnant, if you ask me!

lulupom

My birthday is the 14th and my SO is the 23rd (and our dog's the 18!) it is a busy month and sometimes it's a little bit crazy trying to fit in two extra celebrations but I wouldn't change it! We also usually do something fun in June for our half birthdays. Our parents both worked really hard to not make us feel like we got cheated out of a birthday though.  

theartistformerlyknownas

KatWAG said:

I can relate. I really really didnt want to have a baby between mid april and end of May. It is my birthday, H's birthday, our wedding anniv, friends bdays, mother's day etc. Its SO busy.

If you think it would cause you and your family stress, then use a condom. I think your reason are completely valid.

IMO, I have an ideal times for having a baby. It would be to give birth in late Sept/ early October. Because fall is beautiful in themidwest so I could get outside onmaternity leave, I would be home on maternity for the baby's first holidays. And when the baby is school age every is around for birthday parties.

H and I are about to start trying for #2 so I have given this a lot of thought.

This was my ideal too, especially because my agency gets 2 weeks off for the holidays so I thought it would be perfect if maternity leave ended with like 1 day in the office and then BOOM another free two weeks paid. I got INSANELY lucky that it actually worked out that way (assuming Tidbit cooperates with his/her due date) but I wouldn't have waited if that timing didn't work out.

levieenrose

Also, I think you should totally go for it. You don't need to give yourself limitations. Your kids will know they're loved if you love them. Wishing you all the best!

thisismynickname2

I know teachers who try to plan a baby's scheduled arrival around the school year. Aside from thinking I'd never want to be 9 months pregnant in July (Father of the Bride 2 made a solid impression on me years ago), I think any time should be a good time to have a baby. 

Unfortunately, if there are known health challenges or if the woman is getting, um, older, I'd throw out the timing and take every opportunity I could get. 

theartistformerlyknownas

lulupom said:

My birthday is the 14th and my SO is the 23rd (and our dog's the 18!) it is a busy month and sometimes it's a little bit crazy trying to fit in two extra celebrations but I wouldn't change it! We also usually do something fun in June for our half birthdays. Our parents both worked really hard to not make us feel like we got cheated out of a birthday though.  

lulupom said:

My birthday is the 14th and my SO is the 23rd (and our dog's the 18!) it is a busy month and sometimes it's a little bit crazy trying to fit in two extra celebrations but I wouldn't change it! 

lulupom said:

 (and our dog's the 18!) 

theycallmelinz

levieenrose said:

I'm a Dec 20 baby and my sister is a Christmas baby. We were not raised Christian, although my father's side is Catholic. It was always fine. We're well adjusted. And although my sister got presents for her birthday on her birthday, there was never any confusion about what they were for or that neither of us were entitled to get gifts for a holiday we did not celebrate. My father and grandma did get gifts, though, on Christmas for the holiday. of course, my dad always says that my sister was his favorite Christmas gift. Honestly, I'd rather be at the height of pregnancy in the colder months and have no guilt eating too many holiday goodies. It seems like a good time to be pregnant, if you ask me!

That's a very good point.

ashley8918

themuffinman16 said:

My H and I are TTC, and I was considering halting babymaking production for the month of March so I don't have a December baby.  December, everyone is always busy, and I would hate for future children to feel like an afterthought of the hectic Christmas Season. I, also, think a birthday during December will be a financial hardship on my family that doesn't have a lot of money, who have christmas presents for their own children/ grandchildren.  I have endometriosis, and wonder if I should give it my all.  I might be lucky if I get pregnant, and it could be a bad idea for me to put any limitations on getting pregnant.  Do any of you knotties love or hate your December birthdays?  WWYD in my position? Are there any of you that wanted an optimal time to have a baby, when you were all ready trying to conceive?

Um, yes. This is beyond silly. You have enough problems with getting pregnant anyway. If you really want a baby, I think this is a stupid reason to push the pause button.

My son was born in December and NEVER EVER has he/his birthday been an "afterthought". I don't even understand what you mean by this.

theartistformerlyknownas

thisismynickname said:

I know teachers who try to plan a baby's scheduled arrival around the school year. Aside from thinking I'd never want to be 9 months pregnant in July (Father of the Bride 2 made a solid impression on me years ago), I think any time should be a good time to have a baby. 

Unfortunately, if there are known health challenges or if the woman is getting, um, older, I'd throw out the timing and take every opportunity I could get. 

It's totally different to plan around a career like teaching, military, pro sports. To plan around a holiday because it's a lot of presents... unnecessary.

ashley8918

lolo883 said:

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lulupom said:

My birthday is the 14th and my SO is the 23rd (and our dog's the 18!) it is a busy month and sometimes it's a little bit crazy trying to fit in two extra celebrations but I wouldn't change it! We also usually do something fun in June for our half birthdays. Our parents both worked really hard to not make us feel like we got cheated out of a birthday though.  

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lulupom said:

My birthday is the 14th and my SO is the 23rd (and our dog's the 18!) it is a busy month and sometimes it's a little bit crazy trying to fit in two extra celebrations but I wouldn't change it! 

show previous quotes

lulupom said:

 (and our dog's the 18!) 

FiancB

flutteringinfl said:

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FiancB said:

I think it depends. Since you have endometriosis, I'd probably keep trying. 

I want a summer baby because H is a teacher and I'm currently a pro student so I don't think it's inherently silly to try to time things, but that's assuming at this time that we won't have any difficulties. If it took more than a few months I'd be jumping into the whenever-we-can camp. 

I was JUST thinking this. I work at a college and I'd like to continue working when I have kids. If I'm able to give birth say, early June that would be perfect because nothing's going on during the summer so it would be the perfect time to take maternity leave.

Yep the tentative plan is to try in the fall so I have the baby in the summer, right after finishing my ADN in nursing. Built in maternity and paternity leave, booyah. I'm sure it'll suck to be pregnant during nursing school but not as much as while looking for a job, plus we just don't want to wait a whole lot longer. 

I hear being hugely pregnant in the summer stinks, but c'est la vie. I'm always cold so hopefully that will work out in my favor. 

Anyway back on topic, my mom's bday is 12/21 and she never seemed to mind. Plus it's easy to remember, being on winter solstice. 

littlemushroom

I am a December baby and I do not enjoy it. Never did as a kid, and still don't. Christmas always superceded any birthday festivities, friends are too busy to get together for my bday the entire month of December (more of a problem now that people are getting married and have several family celebrations to juggle), and it definitely feels like an afterthought to everyone. As a kid, I saw all the other kids in my family get presents for their birthday and then presents for Christmas. I pretty much always got the joint Christmas/birthday gift, of the same value as everyone else's Christmas gift. Even as a kid I picked up on the financial hardship of having a birthday so close to Christmas. If you can avoid it, I would.

theartistformerlyknownas

Maybe this should be a S/O, but do that many people really still care as adults about their friends making time for their birthday? I definitely don't.

themuffinman16

ashley8918 said:

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themuffinman16 said:

My H and I are TTC, and I was considering halting babymaking production for the month of March so I don't have a December baby.  December, everyone is always busy, and I would hate for future children to feel like an afterthought of the hectic Christmas Season. I, also, think a birthday during December will be a financial hardship on my family that doesn't have a lot of money, who have christmas presents for their own children/ grandchildren.  I have endometriosis, and wonder if I should give it my all.  I might be lucky if I get pregnant, and it could be a bad idea for me to put any limitations on getting pregnant.  Do any of you knotties love or hate your December birthdays?  WWYD in my position? Are there any of you that wanted an optimal time to have a baby, when you were all ready trying to conceive?

Um, yes. This is beyond silly. You have enough problems with getting pregnant anyway. If you really want a baby, I think this is a stupid reason to push the pause button.

My son was born in December and NEVER EVER has he/his birthday been an "afterthought". I don't even understand what you mean by this.

They wouldn't be an afterthought by me, but I know how busy everyone else is with their own families.  I would just feel bad if their cousins birthdays people came together for those parties, and no one would be able to make time for  future bun. I am not saying my child's birthday should be a bash attended by all of society, but I would feel bad for their birthday if everyone was too busy.  Plus, because I am a child of a divorced family, my mother never hangs out with my step-mother, so I always need two get-togethers for any birthday/ holiday... and that's just on my side of the family. Unless it is a big occasion, like a wedding, then my mother will be in the same room as my step-mom.

LadyMillil

ashley8918 said:

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themuffinman16 said:

My H and I are TTC, and I was considering halting babymaking production for the month of March so I don't have a December baby.  December, everyone is always busy, and I would hate for future children to feel like an afterthought of the hectic Christmas Season. I, also, think a birthday during December will be a financial hardship on my family that doesn't have a lot of money, who have christmas presents for their own children/ grandchildren.  I have endometriosis, and wonder if I should give it my all.  I might be lucky if I get pregnant, and it could be a bad idea for me to put any limitations on getting pregnant.  Do any of you knotties love or hate your December birthdays?  WWYD in my position? Are there any of you that wanted an optimal time to have a baby, when you were all ready trying to conceive?

Um, yes. This is beyond silly. You have enough problems with getting pregnant anyway. If you really want a baby, I think this is a stupid reason to push the pause button.

My son was born in December and NEVER EVER has he/his birthday been an "afterthought". I don't even understand what you mean by this.

Agreed.

VulgarGirl

Wifey is a Christmas eve baby. And I was due early August. And my birthday is May 28th. So...yeah.

Honestly, I want a kid. I want to be a mom. We haven't been trying super long (couple of months) but I want a kid enough that I don't give a shit when the kid is born. We'll figure it out. I always make sure to get Wifey a separate birthday gift, use birthday wrap, and be like 'Hey it is your birthday' cause people forget with her birthday so close to a holiday. But she has no way been adversely affected by this.

Also no one has to buy your kid a present for their birthday, or Christmas, or Guy Fawkes Day. So I wouldn't think about if someone else can't afford to buy my kid a gift. If they can't afford it then...no big thing, they don't get a gift, whatever. I'm sure your kid will solider on. 

southernbelle0915

KatWAG said:

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Wegl13 said:

If you are in the first 12 months I'd say halt for a month. If you have been TTC longer than that, baby make away. You know who was born in December? Jimmy Buffett.
Ha you thought I was going to say Jesus!
Anyways I feel like December birthdays can be a real bummer and trying to keep that from happening could be nice. Although the kid might be early or late anyways.

And Walt Disney! (Dec 5)

BRITNEY BITCH! (Dec 2)

Anyway, DH's bday is around Christmas. I personally would not want my birthday in December, but he doesn't seem to mind. 

If I'm being candid here (and I really don't mean to grind up in your business).... I get wanting to time your pregnancies, but you have a lot going on that is creating barriers to conceiving. It might make more sense to not worry so much about the luxury of timing and to just keep trying to have a healthy baby. I'm rooting for you and send lots of Ts&Ps for a healthy pregnancy for you - whenever it is.