Is it silly to avoid a december baby?

AddieCake

lolo883 said:

Maybe this should be a S/O, but do that many people really still care as adults about their friends making time for their birthday? I definitely don't.

Not even a little bit. 

FiancB

MagicInk said:

Wifey is a Christmas eve baby. And I was due early August. And my birthday is May 28th. So...yeah.

Honestly, I want a kid. I want to be a mom. We haven't been trying super long (couple of months) but I want a kid enough that I don't give a shit when the kid is born. We'll figure it out. I always make sure to get Wifey a separate birthday gift, use birthday wrap, and be like 'Hey it is your birthday' cause people forget with her birthday so close to a holiday. But she has no way been adversely affected by this.

Also no one has to buy your kid a present for their birthday, or Christmas, or Guy Fawkes Day. So I wouldn't think about if someone else can't afford to buy my kid a gift. If they can't afford it then...no big thing, they don't get a gift, whatever. I'm sure your kid will solider on. 

Yeah this was kind of my initial thought. Like my sister has 5 kids and when I was younger I couldn't afford to get them all presents so I'd get them a DVD or something that they could all enjoy. Should my sister not have had as many kids for the sole reason that it's difficult to get 5 kids birthday and Christmas presents? 

fwtx5815

lolo883 said:

Maybe this should be a S/O, but do that many people really still care as adults about their friends making time for their birthday? I definitely don't.

Nope.
I feel like once you're 21, birthdays are just another day until you get to the big milestones. Of course Fi and I and our parents always do stuff for each other but seriously it's just another day.

emmaaa

I wouldn't halt TTC just because you don't want a December baby. What if the baby were early like a PP, you can only plan so much. H and I got married two days after Christmas. the fact that Christmas is near our anniversary will never make it less important. 

Also, I was born a day before Halloween and my older brother was born 2 days before Halloween. Planning a birthday shindig around Halloween as adults is very hard. As you get older you don't celebrate as much anyways. 

My older brother got married on his birthday. That's another thing he has to share with his birthday. So even if you try not to have a baby near a holiday, what's to say they won't get married on their birthday or have to share it with spring break or Easter or anything else?

I would proceed with TTC because...sex.

badbnagdway

I was born a full month past my due date! No, they won't even let you do that anymore, after 14 days they induce. 

I agree with others, re, best laid plans. Also, pretty much every birthday month has a downside, especially for school age children. For example, my sister was a summer baby, so all her friends were usually away at camp for it and she never had big birthday parties. I was a winter baby, and we lived up north so it was always freezing cold and sometimes it snowed so much my birthday party had to be cancelled. There's not really an ideal birthday month and I think if you end up with a December baby you'll just be glad to have a baby. 

themuffinman16

I know no one has to buy my kid a present, but I know they will, and i feel bad adding to their tight budget. I have told my mom several times not to buy me anything, but she still does. 

  I know having a birthday party won't be an issue when they are older.  But I just wouldn't want them to hate it when they are younger.

   I guess I have serious middle child issues, and while I wouldn't want my child to be entitled, I also wouldn't want them to think no one cared, because no one had time to go to their birthday party. Maybe I am making a big deal out of this. Kids will learn to deal, because all they know is their december birthday.

[Deleted User]

I'm a Halloween baby (AND share a birthday with my younger brother), and I never felt like my birthday wasn't special! Combo Halloween/birthday parties (and a few shared birthday parties before we had our own friends from school), and there have been times people have skipped my birthday party or dinner for other Halloween related parties (like in college), but it wasn't a big deal.

Christmas is one day.  Birthdays are one day.  You can still find other ways to make it special for your child without a blowout party or tons of gifts from family members. Just my take!

I think with it already being more difficult for you to get pregnant, I wouldn't skip out on any chance to get that baby

emmaaa

AlisonM23 said:

I'm a Halloween baby (AND share a birthday with my younger brother), and I never felt like my birthday wasn't special! Combo Halloween/birthday parties (and a few shared birthday parties before we had our own friends from school), and there have been times people have skipped my birthday party or dinner for other Halloween related parties (like in college), but it wasn't a big deal.

Christmas is one day.  Birthdays are one day.  You can still find other ways to make it special for your child without a blowout party or tons of gifts from family members. Just my take!

I think with it already being more difficult for you to get pregnant, I wouldn't skip out on any chance to get that baby

@AlisonM23 I was born October 30 and my older brother on the 29th. Apparently my mom thought it would be a good idea to just make one cake one year and I pitched a fit. Obviously, I was a diva when I was a child. We share cakes now.

anjemon

flutteringinfl said:

FiancB said:

I think it depends. Since you have endometriosis, I'd probably keep trying. 

I want a summer baby because H is a teacher and I'm currently a pro student so I don't think it's inherently silly to try to time things, but that's assuming at this time that we won't have any difficulties. If it took more than a few months I'd be jumping into the whenever-we-can camp. 

I was JUST thinking this. I work at a college and I'd like to continue working when I have kids. If I'm able to give birth say, early June that would be perfect because nothing's going on during the summer so it would be the perfect time to take maternity leave.

My family went the other way. My Mom teaches at a technical college. Both my sisters and I were born in early spring (late Feb, early March). So my Mom took maternity leave, then had summer, then went back to school. They planned everything so she could have a lot of time at home with the baby. But if you want to avoid taking time off, that works too

To the OP, I agree that if you're early in your trying I would probably wait. I don't have a December birthday, but my Dad does. He celebrates his birthday in May (for at least 30 years) because he hates how his birthday gets smushed into Christmas. And I have a friend who makes a super big deal out of his birthday being separate from Christmas - you can't plan Christmas stuff with him on Dec 22 with him because it's his birthday. Which is inconvenient when you're so busy and just trying to get together. So from my perspective it's a little inconvenient to have a December birthday, but obviously totally doable and not the end of the world.

On the other hand, my first niece was born just after Christmas, but it's nice because everybody is usually still around for a birthday celebration. 

FutureMrsN3312

When I first found out I was pregnant and my EDD was July 6th I was a little bummed because I didn't want my kid to have a 4th of July birthday.  My due date was moved to July 9th and the more I thought about it who cares?  

Our little girls birthday will always be more important then the 4th.  Friends and family will make an attempt to come to a birthday party or they won't.  I feel this baby was a special gift and she will come when she's ready.  Might be end of June.  Could be middle of July.  Wouldn't change any of it

I say try and whatever happens, happens.

theartistformerlyknownas

themuffinman16 said:

I know no one has to buy my kid a present, but I know they will, and i feel bad adding to their tight budget. I have told my mom several times not to buy me anything, but she still does. 

  I know having a birthday party won't be an issue when they are older.  But I just wouldn't want them to hate it when they are younger.

   I guess I have serious middle child issues, and while I wouldn't want my child to be entitled, I also wouldn't want them to think no one cared, because no one had time to go to their birthday party. Maybe I am making a big deal out of this. Kids will learn to deal, because all they know is their december birthday.

You are borrowing trouble. Their budget shouldn't be any of your concern. I'm sure they'll do what they need to do to budget appropriately for any gifts they want to buy. That shouldn't even factor on your radar when you're planning to make a person.

It's just as much of a budget strain to buy presents for January babies, like my 1/7 niece. February is really cold and snowy. If your baby has a St. Patrick's Day 21st birthday they'll get alcohol poisoning. How long are you willing to wait? April must be great; that's when 75% of my family was born. Summer months you don't get a cupcake party at school, and that's a bummer. October birthdays might run into trouble with Halloween parties. Are you gonna only have sex when your kid will be born in April or September and hope it arrives on its due date? Or do you just want to HAVE A BABY?

theartistformerlyknownas

emmaaa said:

AlisonM23 said:

I'm a Halloween baby (AND share a birthday with my younger brother), and I never felt like my birthday wasn't special! Combo Halloween/birthday parties (and a few shared birthday parties before we had our own friends from school), and there have been times people have skipped my birthday party or dinner for other Halloween related parties (like in college), but it wasn't a big deal.

Christmas is one day.  Birthdays are one day.  You can still find other ways to make it special for your child without a blowout party or tons of gifts from family members. Just my take!

I think with it already being more difficult for you to get pregnant, I wouldn't skip out on any chance to get that baby

@AlisonM23 I was born October 30 and my older brother on the 29th. Apparently my mom thought it would be a good idea to just make one cake one year and I pitched a fit. Obviously, I was a diva when I was a child. We share cakes now.

LOL @Emmaaa here's me at my August birthday with what appears to be my cousin's July birthday cake. Thanks, Mom.

jenna8984

I mentioned this on another thread and the bumpies came over and saw it and reemed me out for it. But I don't care, I still want to try and plan for a late spring/ early summer baby so that I can be outside during maternity leave. Winters in New England suck and being stuck inside spending a fortune on heat is not my ideal. I'm going off my pill this March but using protection until around August for that reason. Now, I've never TTC before and I have no idea if my parts work so that makes my story a little different. If it's 3 years down the road from now and I am still having trouble then I'm going to want it so badly that I won't care about that anymore.

FWIW my brother is a new years baby and I have seen many friends and relatives give him a present (when we were kids) and say "this is for Christmas and your birthday!" whereas they would give me a separate one for my birthday in March. I did feel like he got jipped.

emmaaa

lolo883 said:

emmaaa said:

AlisonM23 said:

I'm a Halloween baby (AND share a birthday with my younger brother), and I never felt like my birthday wasn't special! Combo Halloween/birthday parties (and a few shared birthday parties before we had our own friends from school), and there have been times people have skipped my birthday party or dinner for other Halloween related parties (like in college), but it wasn't a big deal.

Christmas is one day.  Birthdays are one day.  You can still find other ways to make it special for your child without a blowout party or tons of gifts from family members. Just my take!

I think with it already being more difficult for you to get pregnant, I wouldn't skip out on any chance to get that baby

@AlisonM23 I was born October 30 and my older brother on the 29th. Apparently my mom thought it would be a good idea to just make one cake one year and I pitched a fit. Obviously, I was a diva when I was a child. We share cakes now.

LOL @Emmaaa here's me at my August birthday with what appears to be my cousin's July birthday cake. Thanks, Mom.

@lolo883 That picture is priceless!

ETF: grammar 

SmileDamnit

I loooooove birthdays. Love 'em. And I'll throw down with just about anyone, anywhere, any time to celebrate them. BUT, it's the celebration of existence that is special, not the particular date on which one is born that holds the significance. I think something is really askew when the focus gets shifted from "I am so freakin' glad you were born no matter what the day" to "I'm really sorry you were born on a day that is already 'taken' for other celebration". 

Girl, stay on that TTC wagon and fingers crossed you have a happy, healthy, beautiful baby sooner rather than later (...says the one born on January 4, when everyone is beyond broke and still recovering from back-to-back holiday hangovers).

ashley8918

themuffinman16 said:

I know no one has to buy my kid a present, but I know they will, and i feel bad adding to their tight budget. I have told my mom several times not to buy me anything, but she still does. 

  I know having a birthday party won't be an issue when they are older.  But I just wouldn't want them to hate it when they are younger.

   I guess I have serious middle child issues, and while I wouldn't want my child to be entitled, I also wouldn't want them to think no one cared, because no one had time to go to their birthday party. Maybe I am making a big deal out of this. Kids will learn to deal, because all they know is their december birthday.

But, like, this is not your problem. 

Do you know what I do when my budget is tight and I need to get a kid a b-day present? I buy a coloring book and some stickers. Kids love that shit and they don't care that is was $2.99.

I just really think you're making a big deal about something that does not matter. Not even a little bit. The thing that's a big deal is that you want a kid, but you are going to have a tough time having one. Don't limit that possibility because of something that doesn't matter.

audubonbride2013

Ultimately this is a decision for you and your H, but I think you're making a way bigger deal out of this than it actually is.  

My birthday is Christmas Eve.  Sure sometimes friends and family missed my birthday parties when I was younger and I got joint Christmas/birthday gifts.  The reality is no matter when your birthday is some people will miss your parties because your birthday is just not a huge deal to everyone and people have lives outside of you.  The presents didn't really bother me either because its just not that important.  

I personally like my birthday. My family is all around during that time of year, so we all eat cake and enjoy spending time together.

falsara

MagicInk said:

Wifey is a Christmas eve baby. And I was due early August. And my birthday is May 28th. So...yeah.

Honestly, I want a kid. I want to be a mom. We haven't been trying super long (couple of months) but I want a kid enough that I don't give a shit when the kid is born. We'll figure it out. I always make sure to get Wifey a separate birthday gift, use birthday wrap, and be like 'Hey it is your birthday' cause people forget with her birthday so close to a holiday. But she has no way been adversely affected by this.

Also no one has to buy your kid a present for their birthday, or Christmas, or Guy Fawkes Day. So I wouldn't think about if someone else can't afford to buy my kid a gift. If they can't afford it then...no big thing, they don't get a gift, whatever. I'm sure your kid will solider on. 

Yay, That's my Birthday too!!

OP, My mom's birthday is 12/ 7 and FI's birthday is 1/19 . 

My mom always said that she didn't feel like here birthday was overlooked, but I know other friends who were always a little upset about their December birthdays being overlooked because of other events. 

FI often feels like his birthday gets forgotten by other people, because everything settles down after Christmas and New Years and then they always forget that there's a birthday in January too, they just don't want to do any more family events.   

KatWAG

 Are you tracking your cycles? Because depending on timing you might need to skip two cycles if you want to completely miss the month of december.

Your due date could be Jan 10, and the baby could come early.

levioosa

I think you should keep trying since you have health issues.  I don't think having a December birthday is that big of a deal.  Honestly, I remember my friend's December birthdays because they are so close to Christmas. 

themuffinman16

I think H and I are going to keep trying throughout March.  In optimum, conditions, I might have decided to slap a rubber on it, to avoid a December birthday.  But, being 36 and having endometriosis, the worst outcome would be not getting pregnant.  If that happened, I would be kicking myself for not trying for a month.  I would like to have, at least, two children.  I probably don't have time to be putting restrictions on optimal months.

themuffinman16

As always, thank you, ladies, for the insightful and very helpful advice. I appreciate it.  

ohmrs2014

I'm December 4th and my dad is December 30th.  Neither one of us ever felt lime we were forgotten about.  

I'm a teacher and have thought about trying for a summer baby, but that only leaves the window open for a few months to conceive and if it doesn't work,  then we have to wait another year to try.  We decided that whenever we are blessed with a child, we will take it, regardless of the month they are conceived in and when their birthdays might be.

chibiyui

PrettyGirlLost said:

FiancB said:

I think it depends. Since you have endometriosis, I'd probably keep trying. 

I want a summer baby because H is a teacher and I'm currently a pro student so I don't think it's inherently silly to try to time things, but that's assuming at this time that we won't have any difficulties. If it took more than a few months I'd be jumping into the whenever-we-can camp. 

Aw, sorry to hear OP.  Good luck TTC, though.

I was born at the beginning of January. . . that's not really much better then December ;-)

Mid January and a sister 3 days before me. Not much better then December at all. 

I agree with everyone that since you have endo, you might want to keep trying anyway, but I do understand a preference for not the winter. Winter birthdays kinda suck, but any birthday is better then no birthday. 

simcal18

My mom and her sisters' birthdays are December 9, 19, and 29.  The family seems to have survived the ordeal and they are all at least moderately well-adjusted.

Honestly, I deal with my mom's December birthday better than I do my FI's January 8 birthday.  In December, I am in full-on gift buying and party planning/eating mode, so one more celebration is NBD.  By early January, I am all partied out, sick of buying gifts, and ready to start eating healthier again.  The last thing I want to do is think of yet another thing to buy FI and have one more rich meal.

ElcaB

On the contrary, I think December birthdays are great! The perk of having a December baby is everyone gets to see the little nugget when they are gathered together for the holidays. Fun! As far as the financial aspect, there's no rule saying every kid has to get a mountain of presents for Christmas and birthdays. You can set the norm for your own family. 

We're not TTC yet, but while we've talked about the "ideal" month to expect the baby, it's not a very big factor. At all. 

ashley8918

ElcaB said:

On the contrary, I think December birthdays are great! The perk of having a December baby is everyone gets to see the little nugget when they are gathered together for the holidays. Fun! As far as the financial aspect, there's no rule saying every kid has to get a mountain of presents for Christmas and birthdays. You can set the norm for your own family. 

We're not TTC yet, but while we've talked about the "ideal" month to expect the baby, it's not a very big factor. At all. 

This. Ideally, I dont want to be a big giant waddling pregnant lady in the summer (again), because I am not into under-belly chaffing. But, like... whatever.

[Deleted User]

I'm not December....I was a Thanksgiving baby. So my birthday always fell right around the holiday. I loved having my birthday during the holiday season because I always got to see my extended family and everything felt so festive. 

lyndausvi

I'm sure this is an unpopular opinion but I think it's pretty fucked up to plan your due date around when it's the most convenient for people to attend birthday parties and be able to spend money on gifts.

Like really fucked up.

Then again I come from a family who celebrates birthdays in more modest ways.  There was always a big 1st birthday party.  Then birthdays were low-key.   We only got presents from our parents, siblings and god-parents.   When you are one of 24 grandkids it was too much to give gifts to everyone for every birthday.     7 of my cousins were born in March.   3 of them siblings.   Sorry, it's ridiculous to have extended family attend 7 birthday parties in the same month.

Our birthdays were spent just like any other day.  My siblings were fall babies so they had school anyway. I was a summer baby, so my birthday was little more relaxed.   My sister and I got to pick our birthday dinner.  Anywhere we wanted to go.  We also had your standard cake from a box. 

 My brothers are twins, so yeah they had to share their birthday with someone else.   They also picked their birthday dinner.  Normally they picked the same place, but if they didn't then we would have the dinners on different nights. 

mrscomposer

My birthday is January 1, and my family always made separate mention of it beyond Christmas.  But that's on the parents, though.  There's no reason a December birthday should mean anything other than a birthday in December.