@Novella1186 and other May 2 brides!

badbnagdway

mobride2015 said:

I wonder if everybody has the same issues with people RSVP-ing?  I had people that said they thought they'd done it - how do you forget?  LOL  Luckily we're all done with that part, now we just gotta get everybody paid.

I can see forgetting to RSVP honestly. Our rate has shot up to maybe a 50% response rate now but a lot of people I know are coming, like a friend who told me she booked a hotel room, hasn't actually thought to RSVP. I expect we'll have a fair number of people to follow-up with. 

We have been pretty focused on the new puppy the last few days and I really need to write the thank you notes from my lingerie shower a week and a half ago. I took my dress in today to the seamstress to get the first set of alterations done (shortening the boning and putting in cups). 

anjemon

My RSVP date was yesterday - also because of when my venue needs their count. FI's family and friends were really good. My friends were pretty good but my family, dang! So many not received RSVP's. I'm giving them until Sunday (because of my schedule) and then I start the pestering.

But we're really good on the count, which makes me very happy. Most of the VIPs can make it (I have 4 I'm sad will miss it). And most of the people who haven't RSVP'd from my family are probably not going to make it anyways. My Mom wanted to send to everyone on her side, so I'm not surprised or dismayed at the number of declines.

I probably should be going shopping for a shaper today because of my fitting tomorrow, but I'm feeling sickish and I don't want to. So maybe I'm going to try and smash one more thing into tomorrow... maybe...

mikenberger

FOUR WEEKS.

novella1186

mikenberger said:

FOUR WEEKS.

That gif is absolutely perfect lol 

plainjane0415

This time next month, we will be married!

mikenberger

novella1186 said:

mikenberger said:

FOUR WEEKS.

That gif is absolutely perfect lol 

I love spazzy kerm.

badbnagdway

Bumping this thread up again because damn - it's getting close!

Also because I'm feeling pretty bummed about who is not coming to the wedding. Just found out my step-mother isn't coming. It's not health reasons, it's not money. The alleged reason is that she has to stay with the dog. The real reason is she has some untreated, undiagnosed social anxiety issues. I know that about her, and my sister and I were really surprised she made it to my sister's (driving distance) wedding two years ago. Because she made it to that I held out hope she would make it to mine (requires a plane ride, or some really dedicated road-tripping I guess). 

I'm actually surprised how bummed I'm feeling that she's not coming. I can't even say I always like the woman. We certainly are not like mother and daughter. But when I found out just now she can't come I got super sad. I think a lot of my reaction is because no one thought to tell me this. I actually had to ask my dad whether they were both coming because I hadn't heard one way or the other about either of them. (RSVP deadline is tomorrow). I have a sister who also isn't coming -- just found that out for sure too -- but we knew for a while she was questionable because the wedding is close to her exam period for undergrad.

Blech. Any bummers on RSVP for you all?

anjemon

Two big ones. One is my cousin who now lives in Texas. She just opened her own business and she told us when we were looking at spring dates that this time of year was terrible for her. So I knew from moment 1 it was unlikely she could make it. But it's sad she isn't able to.

The other is a friend couple. We went to college together and I was in their wedding. They moved to Colorado soon after college and just had a baby last fall. They can't afford to make the trip. Which isn't really a surprise either, but I'm much more bummed/annoyed about this one. Which is mostly that I'm sad my good friends moved away and I never get to see them. At least not as frequently as I would like.

mikenberger

I have a few: my uncle and his son (my cousin) are unable to make the trip. They're some of my favorite family and I never see them. So that sucks.

My cousin and her family (it would be a plane ride here) had my invite in their hands and were told of the date even before STDs went out... They decided to go to Costa Rica a week after our wedding instead of coming to our wedding. I understand that Costa Rica is awesome and they haven't taken an adult vacation in 4+ years and where I live is not a tourist destination. It just stings a bit. And she didn't even send me a message about her not coming. Just let me see on Facebook that she wasn't coming. She still hasn't sent an RSVP regret card yet. I also haven't seen her in almost 7 years.

My uncle who made this HUGE deal about being invited, saying that he couldn't wait and he couldn't wait to bring his new fiancé and his soon to be stepdaughter to meet the family since that whole side is coming to the wedding... I haven't heard anything from him since invites went out. So it's very unlikely that he will be coming. Whatever. He's very dramatic, as is his fiancé. I'm better off with them not participating.

And lastly, some friends of ours that live in AZ, they have a one year old and flying is expensive. So we'll probably see them this summer when they visit.

My RSVP deadline is Wednesday. Woo. Can't wait to start tracking this stuff down.

anjemon

mikenberger said:

I have a few: my uncle and his son (my cousin) are unable to make the trip. They're some of my favorite family and I never see them. So that sucks.

My cousin and her family (it would be a plane ride here) had my invite in their hands and were told of the date even before STDs went out... They decided to go to Costa Rica a week after our wedding instead of coming to our wedding. I understand that Costa Rica is awesome and they haven't taken an adult vacation in 4+ years and where I live is not a tourist destination. It just stings a bit. And she didn't even send me a message about her not coming. Just let me see on Facebook that she wasn't coming. She still hasn't sent an RSVP regret card yet. I also haven't seen her in almost 7 years.

My uncle who made this HUGE deal about being invited, saying that he couldn't wait and he couldn't wait to bring his new fiancé and his soon to be stepdaughter to meet the family since that whole side is coming to the wedding... I haven't heard anything from him since invites went out. So it's very unlikely that he will be coming. Whatever. He's very dramatic, as is his fiancé. I'm better off with them not participating.

And lastly, some friends of ours that live in AZ, they have a one year old and flying is expensive. So we'll probably see them this summer when they visit.

My RSVP deadline is Wednesday. Woo. Can't wait to start tracking this stuff down.

My Mom totally made my day by volunteering to hunt down her family for me. That meant I only had to call like 2 of my actual friends instead of about 10 extended family members. 

Now I just have to start working on seating charts. Ugh. I hate these sort of decisions.

badbnagdway

mikenberger said:

My RSVP deadline is Wednesday. Woo. Can't wait to start tracking this stuff down.

So I confess I'm ready to do it now, even though the deadline is tomorrow. For friends we'll wait until Thursday I guess, but a few family members I'm ready to start now. I sent a message to my one aunt who hasn't responded - I don't think she's coming but I just want to know for sure. And FI's mom texted me about her plane tickets today anyway so I couldn't help but ask if she was bringing her boyfriend and if her mom is coming. No answer on either of those. She is apparently actively trying to get her mother (FI's grandma) not to come. Weird. 

blabla89

I feel y'all's pain about the declines. We ended up with quite a few of them, making our small wedding even smaller. FMIL demanded to have all her extended family on the guest list, and FI caved in and invited some of them. That meant he couldn't invite his friends, so that we wouldn't over-invite. Most of FMIL's people declined. I feel really bummed for FI.

My best friend from childhood can't make it, but I kind of expected that. My great aunt (the Miss Manners enthusiast who rudely tried to invite her two daughters on my behalf) declined and I kind of think she did it to spite me for not inviting her daughters. We're close, and I'll miss her, but I'll enjoy not having her daughter at my wedding. Dad keeps saying he's going to come, but I know it's not going to happen.

badbnagdway

blabla89 said:

I feel y'all's pain about the declines. We ended up with quite a few of them, making our small wedding even smaller. FMIL demanded to have all her extended family on the guest list, and FI caved in and invited some of them. That meant he couldn't invite his friends, so that we wouldn't over-invite. Most of FMIL's people declined. I feel really bummed for FI.

My best friend from childhood can't make it, but I kind of expected that. My great aunt (the Miss Manners enthusiast who rudely tried to invite her two daughters on my behalf) declined and I kind of think she did it to spite me for not inviting her daughters. We're close, and I'll miss her, but I'll enjoy not having her daughter at my wedding. Dad keeps saying he's going to come, but I know it's not going to happen.

Yeah. The whole "plan for 100% attendance" thing makes sense out of an abundance of caution. But it can be sad when you tried to make the guest list a certain size and some of the folks you had to make sacrifices to invite can't come. 

My sister had the same thing happen -- they invited 110, which was as many as they could afford to host. 12 of those were aunts and uncles, and another 16 or so of those were cousins and their spouses/so's. My sister didn't especially want to invite all of them, but felt like the family would be mad if she didn't. Because of those cousins she and her FI couldn't invite the parents of their very close friends - they have known those folks in some cases since kindergarten. She and her FI would have had 100% attendance if not for the cousins, only a few of whom came. She was bummed that they sacrificed people who they would have really wanted there for people they felt they ought to invite. 

mikenberger

My irrational annoyance is: How fucking difficult is it to check the "Regretfully decline" on the RSVP and shove it back in the mail? I PUT A FUCKING STAMP ON IT, YOU JERK. And on the other side of that, don't hand deliver your RSVP. I PUT A FUCKING STAMP ON IT, YOU JERK.

Just put it in the mail. Please. Thank you.

badbnagdway

mikenberger said:

My irrational annoyance is: How fucking difficult is it to check the "Regretfully decline" on the RSVP and shove it back in the mail? I PUT A FUCKING STAMP ON IT, YOU JERK. And on the other side of that, don't hand deliver your RSVP. I PUT A FUCKING STAMP ON IT, YOU JERK.

Just put it in the mail. Please. Thank you.

We had one couple that have declined our wedding but failed to put their names on the post card. So we don't know who it is. It is someone local, and I have a guess. But now I'll have to go around asking people. A friend of mine who is engaged is going to number her RSVP cards for this reason. Brilliant, wish I would have thought of that before I sent the invites out. 

novella1186

One of my closest cousins isn't coming and I'm bummed out. I'm even more bummed out about why he isn't coming though; he recently lost his job, his girlfriend dumped him, his truck died and needs a new engine, and he's just had a lot of hard luck and financial issues, so he doesn't have the money to travel here right now. 

He said he was really sad he couldn't make it. Then he said, "My life is a country song right now. If I had a dog, it would die." Poor guy  

My RSVP vent: Our deadline is past, and our caterer needs the final count TOMORROW. So I've been tracking people down, and I've gotten a few "I don't know yet." or "Probably." or "I'll let you know." One person even told me maybe, then my dad texted me and said her parents' said she's coming, which I questioned because that didn't seem like reliable info based on my conversation with her, to which my dad responded "well I don't know." 

No, people. I need to know!!! I can't "maybe" pay $44 for your plate of food. I can't "probably" have a seat for you. Ugh! If I pay for the food and you don't show, that's shitty. If I don't pay for it and you do show, you get no food, and that's shitty. Why do people not understand this?!!!! 

mikenberger

I *think* I may have done an asshole thing? I filled in the M___________ with the invited persons name(s). Mainly because I didn't want to lose track of the card and not know who it was from because I didn't have the forethought for actually numbering them somewhere. 

ETA: I did give them the option of putting # of people coming so in case only 1 of the 2 or whatever were able to attend, I'd know.

badbnagdway

novella1186 said:

One of my closest cousins isn't coming and I'm bummed out. I'm even more bummed out about why he isn't coming though; he recently lost his job, his girlfriend dumped him, his truck died and needs a new engine, and he's just had a lot of hard luck and financial issues, so he doesn't have the money to travel here right now. 

He said he was really sad he couldn't make it. Then he said, "My life is a country song right now. If I had a dog, it would die." Poor guy  

My RSVP vent: Our deadline is past, and our caterer needs the final count TOMORROW. So I've been tracking people down, and I've gotten a few "I don't know yet." or "Probably." or "I'll let you know." One person even told me maybe, then my dad texted me and said her parents' said she's coming, which I questioned because that didn't seem like reliable info based on my conversation with her, to which my dad responded "well I don't know." 

No, people. I need to know!!! I can't "maybe" pay $44 for your plate of food. I can't "probably" have a seat for you. Ugh! If I pay for the food and you don't show, that's shitty. If I don't pay for it and you do show, you get no food, and that's shitty. Why do people not understand this?!!!! 

Ugh. That is super annoying. We only have a few people who are doing that -- one is a friend of mine who lives in another country and running for public office. She can't tell what her schedule is going to be because of the election. I'm just going to include her in our count. Another are some of FI's family that I won't get into. 

The last set is the most annoying -- a friend, and I use that term loosely because mostly she is in one of our friend circles and we thought she'd feel left out if we didn't invite her, originally said she wasn't going to come. She works for an event planner in town and she was annoyed we didn't hire her/them for our wedding. She therefore is working another wedding that day and has told us several times that it's a "$150,000 wedding". She said her boyfriend was going to come without her, and then he said he wasn't sure if he was coming. Then she said she was going to come, but really late. I kind of hate them both right now and especially am annoyed with her attempts to belittle our wedding by bringing up how fancy the other wedding is. Fuck you, bitch, my wedding rules. Just because someone spends $150k on a wedding doesn't mean it will be awesome. 

blabla89

Well, the wedding stress is finally getting to me. I can feel a cold sore starting to pop up on my face. Worst feeling ever. I guess better now than two weeks from now. Ugh...

novella1186

badbnagdway people who make belittling comments like that are just miserable and insecure. Fuck that nonsense.  She sounds super annoying. 

plainjane0415

I have no idea why but I have started panicking about traveling with my dress.  I'm so afraid that they won't accept it as a carry on.  Even though I have read on several travel forums that it shouldn't be a problem, I'm still worried, and will probably end up calling US Airways and Southwest today.

**9 days til we fly out** eek!

badbnagdway

novella1186 said:

badbnagdway people who make belittling comments like that are just miserable and insecure. Fuck that nonsense.  She sounds super annoying. 

Yeah. Totally. I have quickly learned that how much a wedding costs is not a good indicator of how well guests will be treated or how awesome it is. Example: friends of FI's are getting married this weekend. They've told FI that bride's dad gave them $30k (which is nearly twice what we are spending). But they've spent half of that just on the venue, photographer, and one other thing that I can't remember but doesn't go to their guest's comfort - the dress or honeymoon maybe? For that reason they are having a  Sunday evening wedding with passed apps (no meal) and likely no booze. Everyone has their own priorities, but umh, I'd rather attend our open bar wedding with a full meal that's in a less expensive location. 

People love to tell me how much of someone else's money they are spending on their wedding. I don't know why. 

blabla89

@plainjane0415 deep breath, it'll be okay. Where are you getting married?

mikenberger

plainjane0415 said:

I have no idea why but I have started panicking about traveling with my dress.  I'm so afraid that they won't accept it as a carry on.  Even though I have read on several travel forums that it shouldn't be a problem, I'm still worried, and will probably end up calling US Airways and Southwest today.

**9 days til we fly out** eek!

Eek! Sounds like fun! (Flying to your wedding destination... not calling airlines. Because let's be real. Calling businesses typically sucks.)

plainjane0415

blabla89 said:

@plainjane0415 deep breath, it'll be okay. Where are you getting married?

We are getting married in Aruba.  Flying US Airways there, Southwest on the way back.

plainjane0415

Also, it's really 12 days until we fly out, I'm so frazzled I'm getting ahead of myself.

mikenberger

plainjane0415 said:

blabla89 said:

@plainjane0415 deep breath, it'll be okay. Where are you getting married?

We are getting married in Aruba.  Flying US Airways there, Southwest on the way back.

OMGGGGGGGGG. So much jelly face. SO JELLY. Can't wait to see photos!

plainjane0415

I can't wait to post them! hahaha

badbnagdway

mikenberger said:

plainjane0415 said:

blabla89 said:

@plainjane0415 deep breath, it'll be okay. Where are you getting married?

We are getting married in Aruba.  Flying US Airways there, Southwest on the way back.

OMGGGGGGGGG. So much jelly face. SO JELLY. Can't wait to see photos!

Yeah, me too. Aruba sounds amazing. 

novella1186

plainjane0415 said:

I have no idea why but I have started panicking about traveling with my dress.  I'm so afraid that they won't accept it as a carry on.  Even though I have read on several travel forums that it shouldn't be a problem, I'm still worried, and will probably end up calling US Airways and Southwest today.

**9 days til we fly out** eek!

totally feel ya on the panic issue! I filled out our marriage license application yesterday and then after it was submitted I realized I had put my mother's married name instead of her maiden name. No idea why but I completely freaked out and almost started crying, ran out of my office, and called the County Clerk's Office. I don't usually freak out like that, especially over something so little. And the lady on the phone said it didn't matter, but it still took me a minute to calm down. Ugh. Wtf is wrong with me?!