Dealbreakers

LabLove86

Mostly because I'm curious and bored. . . 

I saw an episode of Steve Harvey a couple days ago that had a segment on deal breakers and it just made me think . . . what mine would be: 

* Financial irresponsibility - I mean extreme. Like - blows all the money on crap, racks up credit, no planning for the future. That kind of irresponsibility. 

* Drug use. As in anything stronger than pot. I would be OK w/ occasional pot use (my definition of this would be no more than once-ish a month) - but I cannot use due to state licenses and would prefer not to be around consistent use. 

*General lack of motivation in life - you have to try to better yourself and have an end goal in mind. 

*Sexual incompatibility - I mean - self explanatory. 

I am sure I have more but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

 

For those of you who are single - what are your deal breakers? 

And ladies and gents who have SO's - if you were still looking, what would the deal breakers be?

larrygaga

I'm going to play even though I have a SO

-All the obvious ones like drug abuser

-Uses internet explorer

-Uses a mac (mobile apple is fine)

I'm a big computer person and I ain't got the time to teach you better

-Has a kid

-Not educated. Not talking about just school. School doesn't matter. If they hate documentaries and reading or any form of general knowledge then they can GTFO

-Hates the cold and outdoors

-Hates video games

-Straight edge

-Stoner. I really am fine with weed and have smoked my fair share, but the smell gives me a headache like crazy. I'm over it and I don't want to be near it constantly. 

Maybe this is the most stuck up thing I'll ever say but a man not contributing financially to the relationship will have to really win my heart to get me interested. I'm sorry, I've spent most of my life being starving level what bills do we shut off this week poor. I have my own career and my own money but I ain't taking care of anyone. Until I have children. Of my own. I know a lot of women who are fine with dating men who don't have jobs living at their parents house. LOL nah

ShesSoCold

Kids and driving a small trendy car (Prius, Honda fit, shit like that). Hipsters. Jeans tighter than mine.

I'm too late to put terrible mothers and terrible last names on my list.

LabLove86

larrygaga said:

I'm going to play even though I have a SO

-All the obvious ones like drug abuser

-Uses internet explorer

-Uses a mac (mobile apple is fine)

I'm a big computer person and I ain't got the time to teach you better

-Has a kid

-Not educated. Not talking about just school. School doesn't matter. If they hate documentaries and reading or any form of general knowledge then they can GTFO

-Hates the cold and outdoors

-Hates video games

-Straight edge

-Stoner. I really am fine with weed and have smoked my fair share, but the smell gives me a headache like crazy. I'm over it and I don't want to be near it constantly. 

Maybe this is the most stuck up thing I'll ever say but a man not contributing financially to the relationship will have to really win my heart to get me interested. I'm sorry, I've spent most of my life being starving level what bills do we shut off this week poor. I have my own career and my own money but I ain't taking care of anyone. Until I have children. Of my own. I know a lot of women who are fine with dating men who don't have jobs living at their parents house. LOL nah

Oh I feel ya. I worked hard to get where I am, and be able to support myself.  I am not interested AT ALL in supporting another human being until they are my spawn. I would only ever be with someone who is my equal. I can't date someone who isn't motivated (as stated above).

[Deleted User]

theartistformerlyknownas

Being prettier than me.









Just kidding.













Sort of.

julieanne912

LabLove86 said:

Mostly because I'm curious and bored. . . 

I saw an episode of Steve Harvey a couple days ago that had a segment on deal breakers and it just made me think . . . what mine would be: 

* Financial irresponsibility - I mean extreme. Like - blows all the money on crap, racks up credit, no planning for the future. That kind of irresponsibility. 

* Drug use. As in anything stronger than pot. I would be OK w/ occasional pot use (my definition of this would be no more than once-ish a month) - but I cannot use due to state licenses and would prefer not to be around consistent use. 

*General lack of motivation in life - you have to try to better yourself and have an end goal in mind. 

*Sexual incompatibility - I mean - self explanatory. 

I am sure I have more but those are the ones I can think of off the top of my head.

 

For those of you who are single - what are your deal breakers? 

And ladies and gents who have SO's - if you were still looking, what would the deal breakers be?

My list is pretty similar to yours.  Another one would be an annoying voice.  I did a lot of online dating back in the day and it was so disappointing when a guy who seemed great in email had the worst voice in person.  

Another one for me would be someone who doesn't like animals.

LabLove86

julieanne912 said:

My list is pretty similar to yours.  Another one would be an annoying voice.  I did a lot of online dating back in the day and it was so disappointing when a guy who seemed great in email had the worst voice in person.  

Another one for me would be someone who doesn't like animals.

OMG YES! So true!!!! 

I agree with the animals too.

[Deleted User]

levioosa

Abusive

Unwilling to help out with chores or financially

Sexist

Wants an "open relationship"

Anti-vaccination

Fiscally irresponsible 

Drug/alcohol abuse/dependence

Lack of direction/motivation

Doesn't stick up for me/doesn't work as a team

Hates reading

Closeminded

Hates traveling

Drives a prius

@pinkrevenge,  I died when I got to the steak and the frosted tips.  

[Deleted User]

WinstonsGirl

My big three were no guys:

1. Shorter than me

2. smokers

3. With kids (I don't want my own, I don't really want to raise yours)

Others are pretty obvious:

drugs

no job/I have to support your lazy ass

intellect and conversation of a wooden fence

But I think I wouldn't have been interested in guys like that anyway.  

I dated one guy when I was about 19/20 (he was 21/22-ish).  He worked for a company that printed bills/etc. for CC companies, banks, etc. He was getting reduced hours and potentially let go.  He had no post secondary and wanted to get a job at a local grocery store as a price checker cos they got to zip around on rollerblades to do the price checking.  Now, I was in retail at the time too, but I was also in Uni and this wasn't going to be my life career.  He was happy to have price checking as his full time life career.  That lack of motivation for something more really turned me off.  And he was relatively intelligent.  He could have gone to college, trades, uni, started a company, etc.  He just had no motivation to do anything that required some semblance of effort.  

hellosweetie1015

Frankly, liking Guy Fieri is a dealbreaker.

Voting conservatively.

Driving a large truck. Something small I can handle, but unless you're a farmer or something, anything larger and I'm thinking you're compensating.

Not liking animals.

Not being kind to service industry workers.

Calling things "gay".

Saying "yolo".

Expecting to get oral but not give oral. I don't like getting oral, but if you're going to ask me to go there, then I expect you to be willing to reciprocate whether or not I actually take you up on it.

sophhabobopha

Conservative, religious, doesn't read are my big three.

lovesclimbing

Does not like the outdoors/doing outdoorsy things.

Not a Christian.

Uses drugs of any kind or drinks in excess. 

Doesn't like Alaska or want to live here.

[Deleted User]

AlexisA01

Someone not cultured and not worldly. Someone who doesn't want pets. Lastly, a person who doesn't enjoy cuisine and experimenting various types.

levieenrose

Hey! What is with the prius hate? You want a liberal, but not one that is environmentally friendly? DH thinks the hybrid isn't enough. Someday he wants solar panels and an electric car to hook up to them. Love that guy.

My dealbreakers have already been mentioned a few times, so I'll just add someone who doesn't like the elderly or children. Also someone who doesn't like to travel and can't put themselves in someone else's shoes.

levieenrose

Wait, I thought I read prius like 3 times and in conjunction with being not conservative. Clearly I'm still sick and shouldn't be knotting.

larrygaga

hellosweetie1015 said:

Frankly, liking Guy Fieri is a dealbreaker.

Voting conservatively.

Driving a large truck. Something small I can handle, but unless you're a farmer or something, anything larger and I'm thinking you're compensating.

Not liking animals.

Not being kind to service industry workers.

Calling things "gay".

Saying "yolo".

Expecting to get oral but not give oral. I don't like getting oral, but if you're going to ask me to go there, then I expect you to be willing to reciprocate whether or not I actually take you up on it.

I agree with you on all of those and want to add that specifically any man in an f150. Those are not the truck that people who need trucks buy.

It's sexy when a man actually buys the vehicle that he needs and doesn't get stupid about it.

mrsk616

cant use drugs, must like cars (must know how you do a engine swap or the gist of it), must like going to the races and car shows.  YES I swear i am a female. lol 

mikenberger

Rational List:

- Shorter than me

- Workaholic

- Doesn't drink (you can drink whatever: beer, liquor, whiskey - just make sure you know your shit.)

- Rude to waiters/bartenders

- Doesn't tip

- Not educated/can't carry an intelligent conversation

- Rude to my mother (She's a goddamn saint amongst sinners.)

- Vegetarian/vegan/paleo

- Bossy

- Clingy

- Needy

- Lives at home

- Not willing to learn sports

- Financially irresponsible (I am out of control with my spending sometimes and I need someone to balance me)

- No kids

- Lives at home

- Doesn't like guns. You don't have to own them, but you can't be a "GUNS ARE EVIL!" kind of person.

Irrational Deal Breakers:

- Nailbiters

- Man buns

- Vikings/Patriots football fan

- No fashion sense

- Takes more selfies than me/social media whore

- Sloppy drunk

ETA: I laugh at all the "He can't drive a Prius" jokes... my FI drives a Prius

FiancB

The truck thing annoys me too, and I used to have an F250. If you truly need a truck, a rusted out Ranger isn't going to do the trick. 

Thinking back to my online dating days before meeting H...

Must like animals. Must. Especially dogs. 

I'm kind of intimidated by tall guys so I prefer guys that are only a bit taller than me. H is almost exactly my height, ha. 

Agree I'm at a point in my life where living off mom and dad isn't going to work. 

Long hair ewwww. Copious facial hair, ick. 

Not liking to read. Has kids- level of potential drama I was not willing to deal with, meeting guys was enough and didn't want to add baby mama drama on top of it. 

Religious. I have friends and family that are and that's fine but that kind of difference in outlook would be unacceptable in a SO. 

Only hobby is video games. Gaming is fine, but when that's all you do with your free time... ehhh been there done that. 

buttercup1958

My deal breakers are:

All the serious things people have said. 

Now my not so serious ones:

Regiloius ( I'm an atheist so it won't work)

Believes Fox News a credible news source

Can't be stupid/ doesn't like learning 

Isn't a feminist

Guys who have longer hair than me 

Doesn't have ANY hobbies 

Is anti-vaccine and believes science isn't real

If the person is a bro

Isn't funny, like at all

Doesn't want to travel 

And finally if you have the urge to argue about EVERYTHING

ETA: I forgot one!

themuffinman16

Someone who hates to travel, someone who hates his family, someone who hates my family, someone who uses spray cheese, an abusive person, someone who isn't kind to animals, a smoker, drug user, cheaters, dishonesty, someone who spends more time than I do getting ready, anyone who lives with their parents, someone without a vehicle (this would be an exception if I lived in a place like NYC or LA), someone who loves his car more than me, someone who watches too much sports, clingy, someone with a temper.

larrygaga

mrsk616 said:

cant use drugs, must like cars (must know how you do a engine swap or the gist of it), must like going to the races and car shows.  YES I swear i am a female. lol 

See when I talk about building computers I don't need to tell people that I'm still a girl. If we stop assigning hobbies to penises and vaginas the world would would be a better place.

novella1186

1) racism or any kind of narrow-mindedness, like being against gay marriage, thinking Muslims are terrorists, any of that ignorant disgusting bullshit will not be tolerated. Nope. 

2) any form of physical, verbal, or emotional abuse 

3) if his style of solving conflict is unhealthy (like cussing at me, calling me names, always reacting with anger, etc) 

4) misogyny 

5) pathological lying 

6) drug abuse 

7) being rude/disrespectful to other people (if a guy was rude to the waitress on our first date, I was outa there. Fuck that.) 

8) being very religious and expecting me to follow suit AKA trying to force it on me (sorry, I'm atheist and always will be)

9) not being a dog person 

10) being incredibly irresponsible with money 

11) having 0 motivation and 0 drive to do anything (seriously, ANYTHING) 

I think that's it... or that's all I can think of right now, just based on past experiences. 

allispain

buttercup1958 said:

My deal breakers are:

All the serious things people have said. 

Now my not so serious ones:

Regiloius ( I'm an atheist so it won't work)

Believes Fox News a credible news source

Can't be stupid/ doesn't like learning 

Isn't a feminist

Guys who have longer hair than me 

Doesn't have ANY hobbies 

Is anti-vaccine and believes science isn't real

If the person is a bro

Isn't funny, like at all

Doesn't want to travel 

And finally if you have the urge to argue about EVERYTHING

ETA: I forgot one!

I agree with everything on this list!

Also:

- Makes fun of me for my choice in books (I like to unwind with a good fantasy novel or historical fiction)

- Is a name dropper

- Doesn't know how to play at least one musical instrument and/or sing without making my ears bleed

- Listens to hard-core rap and/or country music

- Is intimidated if I make more money than him

- Believes in fad diets

- Has permanent facial hair (a little scruff sometimes is fine - but no beards, mustaches, etc.)

Lucky for me I married a musician who shares my taste in books :-)

novella1186

buttercup1958 said:

My deal breakers are:

All the serious things people have said. 

Now my not so serious ones:

Regiloius ( I'm an atheist so it won't work)

Believes Fox News a credible news source

Can't be stupid/ doesn't like learning 

Isn't a feminist

Guys who have longer hair than me 

Doesn't have ANY hobbies 

Is anti-vaccine and believes science isn't real

If the person is a bro

Isn't funny, like at all

Doesn't want to travel 

And finally if you have the urge to argue about EVERYTHING

ETA: I forgot one!

lol these are really good ones! I definitely agree with all of them. 

mrsk616

larrygaga said:

mrsk616 said:

cant use drugs, must like cars (must know how you do a engine swap or the gist of it), must like going to the races and car shows.  YES I swear i am a female. lol 

See when I talk about building computers I don't need to tell people that I'm still a girl. If we stop assigning hobbies to penises and vaginas the world would would be a better place.

i agree. i grew up around cars and when i get mine worked on at a dealership they always try to screw with me and little do they know i know how they work because i work at a dealership. i know a fair amount about a car that i confuse people when i was for things

Kahlyla

pinkrevenge said:

Oooh, here's a dealbreaker. Someone who says "May I play Devil's Advocate?"

You may, but not within the same 1 mile radius as me.

This made me think of this comic, hehe:




(There's an XKCD for everything.)