Worst Things You've Seen At Weddings You Attended

NotTheOnlyOne

I went to a Catholic wedding once where the bride was just over 2 hours late to the ceremony.  The priest announced that if she wasn’t there in the next ten minutes, he was out.  He even removed his stole.  She just barely made it.  He did not do the traditional mass or barely anything at all.  They were married in under 4 minutes.

The most cringey thing EVER was when the MOB, whose date was clearly being paid to be there, caught the bouquet.  I mean, I can’t tell you how much this was not cute or sweet or in any way appropriate.   This was YEARS ago and I will never forget the second hand embarrassment. 

At another more recent wedding the bride, who works in retail, decided to invite a single older co-worker because she had an open slot and the lady was very nice.  She was maybe in her 50’s but her demeanor and attire made her look way older.  Like, she could be your grandma.  When she caught that bouquet, all the under 30 dudes who were waiting on the dance floor to catch the garter were sweating and trying to escape back to their seats but it was clearly too late.  The best man took one for the team and received no competition. The lady takes a seat in the designated chair and pulls up her long skirt to reveal knee high SUPPORT HOSE. The only thing I could think of was Mama’s Family.  SO UNCOMFORTABLE TO WATCH.

climbingsingle

I went to a wedding where the groom's family showed up in jeans and t-shirts and baseball caps. The wedding was at a nice hotel on a Saturday night. Not "the worst", but I thought it was really odd. 

However, at the same wedding, they ran out of food! By the time I got to the buffet, the only thing left was potatoes and some soggy vegetables. So I and about 20 other people basically at nothing. There had been no cocktail hour.

Another wedding I went to was on a Sunday night. The reception was an hour drive from the church. The entire reception was in Spanish (the bride was Spanish, the groom wasn't though). They didn't serve us dinner until 9:30PM. 

ETA: Another wedding I went to in July OUTSIDE. It was 95 degrees and high humidity. The bride was an hour late showing up. We just sat in the sun baking away. 

NowIAmSyp

climbingwife said:

I went to a wedding where the groom's family showed up in jeans and t-shirts and baseball caps. The wedding was at a nice hotel on a Saturday night. Not "the worst", but I thought it was really odd. 

However, at the same wedding, they ran out of food! By the time I got to the buffet, the only thing left was potatoes and some soggy vegetables. So I and about 20 other people basically at nothing. There had been no cocktail hour.

Another wedding I went to was on a Sunday night. The reception was an hour drive from the church. The entire reception was in Spanish (the bride was Spanish, the groom wasn't though). They didn't serve us dinner until 9:30PM. 

ETA: Another wedding I went to in July OUTSIDE. It was 95 degrees and high humidity. The bride was an hour late showing up. We just sat in the sun baking away. 

I have a feeling I'm going to the same type of wedding this summer...  a Sunday night wedding, with a gap.  Oy!  

thisismynickname2

This isn't the worst I've seen, but a story that was told to me that sounds like the worst! 

Cocktail hour was light on the appetizers but heavy on the booze. The reception was in a space that's not normally used as an event space; the owner was doing a favor for the bride. After getting a paltry salad, guests waited TWO HOURS for any more parts of a meal. The person who told me this story said that there was an issue with the catering, and there was no actual kitchen in the space. The caterers were heating up meals in the microwave one by one. For 200 guests. When the person finally got the entree, it was inedible. People who got their entrees first were already dancing while everyone else sat around starving and drunk and waiting. 

The person said, "At some point, you fucking order pizza for people." Apparently a lot of people left early too and the bride actually didn't seem too bothered. 

MairePoppy

My cousin's bride was an 1 1/2 hours late for their wedding. It was on a hot August day in a Catholic church with no air conditioning. Her family is notorious for being late for everything - all of them. My family in compulsively punctual. My cousin paced nervously back and forth from the sacristy to the altar to see if she had arrived. My grandmother was so hot she rolled her stockings down around her ankles right there in the pew : ) The bride finally showed up and the priest married them. After the ceremony, the immediate family and wedding party went for a lengthy photo session, while the rest of us went to reception. When the bride got her wedding photos back, she was furious with my grandmother for ruining the family photographs with her rolled down stockings. Also, the food at the reception was ruined by being held for 2 hours.

Wegl13

Nothing bad but I've definitely been to a few where the minister was a little heavy handed with his views on "traditional marriage"- and one of those was hella awkward because he was also marrying one of my classmate right after graduating from doctor school and he kept making half hearted jokes about how the wife didn't have to worry about the "for poorer" part of the vows. Which clearly showed the man knew nothing about student loans and even less about the groom in question, who had literally been sleeping on a 10 year old futon in a 30 year old trailer for the entirety of his time in college. I'm pretty sure the bride knew that he wasn't the kind of guy to live "the high life." That just wasn't and most likely will never be his style.

damnthetorpedoes

Almost forgot -- went to one where the bride and groom had one of those monster four or five foot tall cakes, and the four people carrying it to the table dropped it... and it splashed all the way across the dance floor, and all over the bride's shoes.

To her extraordinary credit, the bride just looked up at the ceiling, mouthed counting to ten, then smiled an angelic smile and walked away to find something to wipe off her shoes. Credit also to the venue, staff started cleaning the dance floor immediately, and about 20 minutes later they produced a bunch of sheet cakes. But her mother (who'd paid for the cake and most of the wedding) all but physically attacked the people who dropped it. 

ohannabelle

daydreamjovi said:

I went to a Catholic wedding once where the bride was just over 2 hours late to the ceremony.  The priest announced that if she wasn’t there in the next ten minutes, he was out.  He even removed his stole.  She just barely made it.  He did not do the traditional mass or barely anything at all.  They were married in under 4 minutes.

The most cringey thing EVER was when the MOB, whose date was clearly being paid to be there, caught the bouquet.  I mean, I can’t tell you how much this was not cute or sweet or in any way appropriate.   This was YEARS ago and I will never forget the second hand embarrassment. 

At another more recent wedding the bride, who works in retail, decided to invite a single older co-worker because she had an open slot and the lady was very nice.  She was maybe in her 50’s but her demeanor and attire made her look way older.  Like, she could be your grandma.  When she caught that bouquet, all the under 30 dudes who were waiting on the dance floor to catch the garter were sweating and trying to escape back to their seats but it was clearly too late.  The best man took one for the team and received no competition. The lady takes a seat in the designated chair and pulls up her long skirt to reveal knee high SUPPORT HOSE. The only thing I could think of was Mama’s Family.  SO UNCOMFORTABLE TO WATCH.

I don't judge the older lady for wearing support hose, but sure as hell judge the bride and groom for subjecting her and the guests to that incredibly fucking tacky invented "tradition" of putting the garter on a guest. They're the only ones who should be embarrassed. 

levioosa

ohannabelle said:

daydreamjovi said:

I went to a Catholic wedding once where the bride was just over 2 hours late to the ceremony.  The priest announced that if she wasn’t there in the next ten minutes, he was out.  He even removed his stole.  She just barely made it.  He did not do the traditional mass or barely anything at all.  They were married in under 4 minutes.

The most cringey thing EVER was when the MOB, whose date was clearly being paid to be there, caught the bouquet.  I mean, I can’t tell you how much this was not cute or sweet or in any way appropriate.   This was YEARS ago and I will never forget the second hand embarrassment. 

At another more recent wedding the bride, who works in retail, decided to invite a single older co-worker because she had an open slot and the lady was very nice.  She was maybe in her 50’s but her demeanor and attire made her look way older.  Like, she could be your grandma.  When she caught that bouquet, all the under 30 dudes who were waiting on the dance floor to catch the garter were sweating and trying to escape back to their seats but it was clearly too late.  The best man took one for the team and received no competition. The lady takes a seat in the designated chair and pulls up her long skirt to reveal knee high SUPPORT HOSE. The only thing I could think of was Mama’s Family.  SO UNCOMFORTABLE TO WATCH.

I don't judge the older lady for wearing support hose, but sure as hell judge the bride and groom for subjecting her and the guests to that incredibly fucking tacky invented "tradition" of putting the garter on a guest. They're the only ones who should be embarrassed. 

I honestly had never even heard of that tradition until TK, and I am horrified by it.  Who the hell decided that was a good idea?  It seems so incredibly awkward, inappropriate, and embarrassing for all involved.   

ohannabelle

levioosa said:

ohannabelle said:

daydreamjovi said:

I went to a Catholic wedding once where the bride was just over 2 hours late to the ceremony.  The priest announced that if she wasn’t there in the next ten minutes, he was out.  He even removed his stole.  She just barely made it.  He did not do the traditional mass or barely anything at all.  They were married in under 4 minutes.

The most cringey thing EVER was when the MOB, whose date was clearly being paid to be there, caught the bouquet.  I mean, I can’t tell you how much this was not cute or sweet or in any way appropriate.   This was YEARS ago and I will never forget the second hand embarrassment. 

At another more recent wedding the bride, who works in retail, decided to invite a single older co-worker because she had an open slot and the lady was very nice.  She was maybe in her 50’s but her demeanor and attire made her look way older.  Like, she could be your grandma.  When she caught that bouquet, all the under 30 dudes who were waiting on the dance floor to catch the garter were sweating and trying to escape back to their seats but it was clearly too late.  The best man took one for the team and received no competition. The lady takes a seat in the designated chair and pulls up her long skirt to reveal knee high SUPPORT HOSE. The only thing I could think of was Mama’s Family.  SO UNCOMFORTABLE TO WATCH.

I don't judge the older lady for wearing support hose, but sure as hell judge the bride and groom for subjecting her and the guests to that incredibly fucking tacky invented "tradition" of putting the garter on a guest. They're the only ones who should be embarrassed. 

I honestly had never even heard of that tradition until TK, and I am horrified by it.  Who the hell decided that was a good idea?  It seems so incredibly awkward, inappropriate, and embarrassing for all involved.   

It's right up there with shoving cake in the face, as far as I'm concerned.  

It's a fake ass "tradition" that nobody I've ever known has heard of or witnessed before the very late 70s early 80s.  Where it came from is beyond me, but it needs to go back there and die.

awindowlark

I was a bridesmaid in a wedding where the mother of the bride fought the bride for face powder.  We were all getting ready in the bridal suite and my friend's mom kept asking her if she brought powder to touch up during the wedding.  I wasn't sure why the bride was ignoring her mom until they started shouting at each other.  The bride ultimately gave in and gave her make up away.  This happened right as the officiant came into the room.  The officiant tried to make a joke and that caused more shouting.  Luckily there was a mall 10 minutes away so we went to pick up more make up for the bride.  Her mom kept insisting that the color looked better on her blah blah blah.  There was no way they could share it since we were all about to have photos taken then get whisked away to the reception. It was akward and I felt awful for my friend.  The bride had enough to deal with and I never looked at her mom the same way again.    

lovesclimbing

levioosa said:

ohannabelle said:

daydreamjovi said:

I went to a Catholic wedding once where the bride was just over 2 hours late to the ceremony.  The priest announced that if she wasn’t there in the next ten minutes, he was out.  He even removed his stole.  She just barely made it.  He did not do the traditional mass or barely anything at all.  They were married in under 4 minutes.

The most cringey thing EVER was when the MOB, whose date was clearly being paid to be there, caught the bouquet.  I mean, I can’t tell you how much this was not cute or sweet or in any way appropriate.   This was YEARS ago and I will never forget the second hand embarrassment. 

At another more recent wedding the bride, who works in retail, decided to invite a single older co-worker because she had an open slot and the lady was very nice.  She was maybe in her 50’s but her demeanor and attire made her look way older.  Like, she could be your grandma.  When she caught that bouquet, all the under 30 dudes who were waiting on the dance floor to catch the garter were sweating and trying to escape back to their seats but it was clearly too late.  The best man took one for the team and received no competition. The lady takes a seat in the designated chair and pulls up her long skirt to reveal knee high SUPPORT HOSE. The only thing I could think of was Mama’s Family.  SO UNCOMFORTABLE TO WATCH.

I don't judge the older lady for wearing support hose, but sure as hell judge the bride and groom for subjecting her and the guests to that incredibly fucking tacky invented "tradition" of putting the garter on a guest. They're the only ones who should be embarrassed. 

I honestly had never even heard of that tradition until TK, and I am horrified by it.  Who the hell decided that was a good idea?  It seems so incredibly awkward, inappropriate, and embarrassing for all involved.   

I had never heard of it until TK either.  All the weddings I have been to have had garter tosses, but never with putting it on someone's leg.  That's just awful.  At the weddings I've been to, including mine, the groom takes it off pretty quickly (no pretending to or actually copping a feel or removing it with his teeth) and tosses it.  The person catching it keeps it or gives it back or whatever.

NotTheOnlyOne

ohannabelle said:

I don't judge the older lady for wearing support hose, but sure as hell judge the bride and groom for subjecting her and the guests to that incredibly fucking tacky invented "tradition" of putting the garter on a guest. They're the only ones who should be embarrassed. 

I am most definitely not defending the tradition, I'm not having it at my wedding, but it has happened just as I explained at every single wedding I've been to my entire life, minus one that was out of state.  I assume it is a very regional (see: Hispanic) thing.

I do not judge her for wearing them, but if you know you are wearing something "unsexy" WHY would you volunteer for this?  Not only did she know what would happen, she was eager.  I was a single adult for a decade and never even went up to catch the bouquet for fear that maybe I missed a spot while shaving a some dude would be touching my leg. 

Like I said, this dumb tradition is part of 100% of weddings here. She wasn't subjected, she subjected herself.

(My wedding isn't until December and I'm already getting shit for not wanting it.)

flantastic

daydreamjovi said:

ohannabelle said:

I don't judge the older lady for wearing support hose, but sure as hell judge the bride and groom for subjecting her and the guests to that incredibly fucking tacky invented "tradition" of putting the garter on a guest. They're the only ones who should be embarrassed. 

I am most definitely not defending the tradition, I'm not having it at my wedding, but it has happened just as I explained at every single wedding I've been to my entire life, minus one that was out of state.  I assume it is a very regional (see: Hispanic) thing.

I do not judge her for wearing them, but if you know you are wearing something "unsexy" WHY would you volunteer for this?  Not only did she know what would happen, she was eager.  I was a single adult for a decade and never even went up to catch the bouquet for fear that maybe I missed a spot while shaving a some dude would be touching my leg. 

Like I said, this dumb tradition is part of 100% of weddings here. She wasn't subjected, she subjected herself.

(My wedding isn't until December and I'm already getting shit for not wanting it.)

Would people have considered her a bombshell minus the hose? If this tradition is her cup of tea and she wants to participate (why??), I don't think you should have to be or wear what others might consider "sexy." More power to her for not worrying about it.

NotTheOnlyOne

flantastic said:

daydreamjovi said:

ohannabelle said:

I don't judge the older lady for wearing support hose, but sure as hell judge the bride and groom for subjecting her and the guests to that incredibly fucking tacky invented "tradition" of putting the garter on a guest. They're the only ones who should be embarrassed. 

I am most definitely not defending the tradition, I'm not having it at my wedding, but it has happened just as I explained at every single wedding I've been to my entire life, minus one that was out of state.  I assume it is a very regional (see: Hispanic) thing.

I do not judge her for wearing them, but if you know you are wearing something "unsexy" WHY would you volunteer for this?  Not only did she know what would happen, she was eager.  I was a single adult for a decade and never even went up to catch the bouquet for fear that maybe I missed a spot while shaving a some dude would be touching my leg. 

Like I said, this dumb tradition is part of 100% of weddings here. She wasn't subjected, she subjected herself.

(My wedding isn't until December and I'm already getting shit for not wanting it.)

Would people have considered her a bombshell minus the hose? If this tradition is her cup of tea and she wants to participate (why??), I don't think you should have to be or wear what others might consider "sexy." More power to her for not worrying about it.

Nope, because like I said, it was awkward the moment she caught the bouquet before we even saw that.  If we removed the hose from the story completely, grandma was standing in line to have a 25 year old dude put a garter on her. It was uncomfortable.

I work in the event industry and this tradition has luckily JUST started to die out.  Might take a few more years, but hopefully we will get there.

[Deleted User]

ohannabelle said:

daydreamjovi said:

I went to a Catholic wedding once where the bride was just over 2 hours late to the ceremony.  The priest announced that if she wasn’t there in the next ten minutes, he was out.  He even removed his stole.  She just barely made it.  He did not do the traditional mass or barely anything at all.  They were married in under 4 minutes.

The most cringey thing EVER was when the MOB, whose date was clearly being paid to be there, caught the bouquet.  I mean, I can’t tell you how much this was not cute or sweet or in any way appropriate.   This was YEARS ago and I will never forget the second hand embarrassment. 

At another more recent wedding the bride, who works in retail, decided to invite a single older co-worker because she had an open slot and the lady was very nice.  She was maybe in her 50’s but her demeanor and attire made her look way older.  Like, she could be your grandma.  When she caught that bouquet, all the under 30 dudes who were waiting on the dance floor to catch the garter were sweating and trying to escape back to their seats but it was clearly too late.  The best man took one for the team and received no competition. The lady takes a seat in the designated chair and pulls up her long skirt to reveal knee high SUPPORT HOSE. The only thing I could think of was Mama’s Family.  SO UNCOMFORTABLE TO WATCH.

I don't judge the older lady for wearing support hose, but sure as hell judge the bride and groom for subjecting her and the guests to that incredibly fucking tacky invented "tradition" of putting the garter on a guest. They're the only ones who should be embarrassed. 

...Is this really a thing that people do??! I'm even uncomfortable reading it!! At all the dances I've been to, the garter gets tossed, and whoever gets it just wears it on his arm for the rest of the night...

NotTheOnlyOne

purplepinkcupcake said:

ohannabelle said:

daydreamjovi said:

I went to a Catholic wedding once where the bride was just over 2 hours late to the ceremony.  The priest announced that if she wasn’t there in the next ten minutes, he was out.  He even removed his stole.  She just barely made it.  He did not do the traditional mass or barely anything at all.  They were married in under 4 minutes.

The most cringey thing EVER was when the MOB, whose date was clearly being paid to be there, caught the bouquet.  I mean, I can’t tell you how much this was not cute or sweet or in any way appropriate.   This was YEARS ago and I will never forget the second hand embarrassment. 

At another more recent wedding the bride, who works in retail, decided to invite a single older co-worker because she had an open slot and the lady was very nice.  She was maybe in her 50’s but her demeanor and attire made her look way older.  Like, she could be your grandma.  When she caught that bouquet, all the under 30 dudes who were waiting on the dance floor to catch the garter were sweating and trying to escape back to their seats but it was clearly too late.  The best man took one for the team and received no competition. The lady takes a seat in the designated chair and pulls up her long skirt to reveal knee high SUPPORT HOSE. The only thing I could think of was Mama’s Family.  SO UNCOMFORTABLE TO WATCH.

I don't judge the older lady for wearing support hose, but sure as hell judge the bride and groom for subjecting her and the guests to that incredibly fucking tacky invented "tradition" of putting the garter on a guest. They're the only ones who should be embarrassed. 

...Is this really a thing that people do??! I'm even uncomfortable reading it!! At all the dances I've been to, the garter gets tossed, and whoever gets it just wears it on his arm for the rest of the night...

Yes, they do it a lot.  At the meeting with my DJ I was asked which song I want played while the guy who catches the garter puts it on the girl who catches the bouquet. It's on the printed form.

(I scratched it out)

bethsmiles

I went to one wedding where every member of the wedding party gave a speech at the reception. Which would have been bad enough but two of them included particularly awkward moments. The first was the best man who gave a speech that started out "I've been married two years and it's been...alright I guess" but not at all in a joking tone. I was sitting with his wife, she was pissed. Then the groom's sister made a HIV joke in the middle of her speech.

ohannabelle

daydreamjovi said:

daydreamjovi said:

ohannabelle said:

I don't judge the older lady for wearing support hose, but sure as hell judge the bride and groom for subjecting her and the guests to that incredibly fucking tacky invented "tradition" of putting the garter on a guest. They're the only ones who should be embarrassed. 

I am most definitely not defending the tradition, I'm not having it at my wedding, but it has happened just as I explained at every single wedding I've been to my entire life, minus one that was out of state.  I assume it is a very regional (see: Hispanic) thing.

I do not judge her for wearing them, but if you know you are wearing something "unsexy" WHY would you volunteer for this?  Not only did she know what would happen, she was eager.  I was a single adult for a decade and never even went up to catch the bouquet for fear that maybe I missed a spot while shaving a some dude would be touching my leg. 

Like I said, this dumb tradition is part of 100% of weddings here. She wasn't subjected, she subjected herself.

(My wedding isn't until December and I'm already getting shit for not wanting it.)

Would people have considered her a bombshell minus the hose? If this tradition is her cup of tea and she wants to participate (why??), I don't think you should have to be or wear what others might consider "sexy." More power to her for not worrying about it.

Nope, because like I said, it was awkward the moment she caught the bouquet before we even saw that.  If we removed the hose from the story completely, grandma was standing in line to have a 25 year old dude put a garter on her. It was uncomfortable.

I work in the event industry and this tradition has luckily JUST started to die out.  Might take a few more years, but hopefully we will get there.

Or maybe Grandma was from the generation (mine, now that I am an ancient 50 something, though not yet in need of support hose ) where catching the bouquet simply meant you were the next to get married? Which is how the tradition went, for at least 350 documented years, if you research it. Western European. 

And all single women were included in that.  Catching a bouquet didn't mean that you were going to be placed in a chair for a pseudo-stripper show. (Not regional or cultural by the way. Just a "cute" tasteless trend that happened. About the same time as bachelorette parties happened.)

You know, you sound really ageist. Between the "50 year old Grandma" snarking, and the snark on the Mom who had "obviously paid" (?) to have a younger date...why was it embarrassing or cringe worthy that she caught a bouquet? Is there some kind of age limit on being a single woman? Is there a pull date I don't know about? Are we too ancient to stand by younger women for a silly tradition like a bouquet toss? What's the cutoff age for that? Every time a younger man has asked me out, was he hoping to get paid? 

PamBeesly524

ohannabelle said:

daydreamjovi said:

daydreamjovi said:

ohannabelle said:

I don't judge the older lady for wearing support hose, but sure as hell judge the bride and groom for subjecting her and the guests to that incredibly fucking tacky invented "tradition" of putting the garter on a guest. They're the only ones who should be embarrassed. 

I am most definitely not defending the tradition, I'm not having it at my wedding, but it has happened just as I explained at every single wedding I've been to my entire life, minus one that was out of state.  I assume it is a very regional (see: Hispanic) thing.

I do not judge her for wearing them, but if you know you are wearing something "unsexy" WHY would you volunteer for this?  Not only did she know what would happen, she was eager.  I was a single adult for a decade and never even went up to catch the bouquet for fear that maybe I missed a spot while shaving a some dude would be touching my leg. 

Like I said, this dumb tradition is part of 100% of weddings here. She wasn't subjected, she subjected herself.

(My wedding isn't until December and I'm already getting shit for not wanting it.)

Would people have considered her a bombshell minus the hose? If this tradition is her cup of tea and she wants to participate (why??), I don't think you should have to be or wear what others might consider "sexy." More power to her for not worrying about it.

Nope, because like I said, it was awkward the moment she caught the bouquet before we even saw that.  If we removed the hose from the story completely, grandma was standing in line to have a 25 year old dude put a garter on her. It was uncomfortable.

I work in the event industry and this tradition has luckily JUST started to die out.  Might take a few more years, but hopefully we will get there.

Or maybe Grandma was from the generation (mine, now that I am an ancient 50 something, though not yet in need of support hose ) where catching the bouquet simply meant you were the next to get married? Which is how the tradition went, for at least 350 documented years, if you research it. Western European. 

And all single women were included in that.  Catching a bouquet didn't mean that you were going to be placed in a chair for a pseudo-stripper show. (Not regional or cultural by the way. Just a "cute" tasteless trend that happened. About the same time as bachelorette parties happened.)

You know, you sound really ageist. Between the "50 year old Grandma" snarking, and the snark on the Mom who had "obviously paid" (?) to have a younger date...why was it embarrassing or cringe worthy that she caught a bouquet? Is there some kind of age limit on being a single woman? Is there a pull date I don't know about? Are we too ancient to stand by younger women for a silly tradition like a bouquet toss? What's the cutoff age for that? Every time a younger man has asked me out, was he hoping to get paid? 

This. As terribly awkward as I think the whole thing is, I can't believe that you would snark on anyone participating... Is there a certain age where I'm not allowed on the dance floor anymore, lest I make a fool out of myself?

NotTheOnlyOne

"And all single women were included in that.  Catching a bouquet didn't mean that you were going to be placed in a chair for a pseudo-stripper show. (Not regional or cultural by the way. Just a "cute" tasteless trend that happened. About the same time as bachelorette parties happened.)"

As I previously expressed, she DID know.  This was announced and the guys were already standing in line on the other side.  

There is no limit to being a single woman, but you should know when you should not be participating in something.  I am just under 40 and just recently engaged for the first time.  I would NOT run to the dance floor with the 20 somethings for a stripper show.  I would just not. I have felt too old for this for a very long time, even without the support hose.  

Worst things I've seen at a wedding?  This was one of those things.  Whole room cringing. People still talking about it.  I was there and I am telling you it was weird and awkward which is what I thought we were doing here.  

Oh, and the lady who paid the guy to be there?  That was not an assumption.  She did pay him.  He told a few people he was an escort and even passed out cards. That was not even close to being about her age, but about her being the MOB!

flantastic

daydreamjovi said:

"And all single women were included in that.  Catching a bouquet didn't mean that you were going to be placed in a chair for a pseudo-stripper show. (Not regional or cultural by the way. Just a "cute" tasteless trend that happened. About the same time as bachelorette parties happened.)"

As I previously expressed, she DID know.  This was announced and the guys were already standing in line on the other side.  

There is no limit to being a single woman, but you should know when you should not be participating in something.  I am just under 40 and just recently engaged for the first time.  I would NOT run to the dance floor with the 20 somethings for a stripper show.  I would just not. I have felt too old for this for a very long time, even without the support hose.  

Worst things I've seen at a wedding?  This was one of those things.  Whole room cringing. People still talking about it.  I was there and I am telling you it was weird and awkward which is what I thought we were doing here.  

Oh, and the lady who paid the guy to be there?  That was not an assumption.  She did pay him.  He told a few people he was an escort and even passed out cards. That was not even close to being about her age, but about her being the MOB!

As I said, only the 20-somethings and the hot ones are allowed to be part of the inappropriate stripper show? My position remains, "Get it, grandma."

NotTheOnlyOne

Anyone is allowed. No one kicked her out or punched her in the face. She was allowed and they finished and the whole thing happened. I am here to tell you it was one of the worst things I've had to watch at a wedding, as this is what this thread is about.

If the room would have been into it and enjoying the whole thing, maybe I wouldn't remember, or would have been cheering her on. If she was actually someone's grandma it might have been funny and entertaining. The people who participate in these things are generally couples who know if one catches the other one will too, or eager teenage girls. She knew one person (the bride) and thought she should jump in and grab the bouquet knowing that 95% of the guys in line had their girlfriends there. Was ok with one of the guys putting a garter on her in front of all these people and his girlfriend. The guy that finally did had his fiancé there. Awkward, even if she was 25. The age was not really the point, but it made it much worse.

This whole tradition is stupid, but it is there at every wedding since I was a kid. There are times when it is appropriate to participate and others when it is not.

hellohkb

daydreamjovi said:

ohannabelle said:

I don't judge the older lady for wearing support hose, but sure as hell judge the bride and groom for subjecting her and the guests to that incredibly fucking tacky invented "tradition" of putting the garter on a guest. They're the only ones who should be embarrassed. 

I am most definitely not defending the tradition, I'm not having it at my wedding, but it has happened just as I explained at every single wedding I've been to my entire life, minus one that was out of state.  I assume it is a very regional (see: Hispanic) thing.

I do not judge her for wearing them, but if you know you are wearing something "unsexy" WHY would you volunteer for this?  Not only did she know what would happen, she was eager.  I was a single adult for a decade and never even went up to catch the bouquet for fear that maybe I missed a spot while shaving a some dude would be touching my leg. 

Like I said, this dumb tradition is part of 100% of weddings here. She wasn't subjected, she subjected herself.

(My wedding isn't until December and I'm already getting shit for not wanting it.)

I'm Hispanic and have seen this done more at non Hispanic weddings (Although this was done at my cousins wedding too). It MAY be a regional thing. I'm on the East coast. But yeah, the trend is stupid but the woman is just as in the right to do as any other person there. There shouldn't be an age cut off.

NotTheOnlyOne

I have too, but only a few and all here in the pit of where all the other weddings do it. It's hard because over 90% of weddings are Hispanic here so the traditions are hard to break.

ohannabelle

daydreamjovi said:"And all single women were included in that.  Catching a bouquet didn't mean that you were going to be placed in a chair for a pseudo-stripper show. (Not regional or cultural by the way. Just a "cute" tasteless trend that happened. About the same time as bachelorette parties happened.)"
As I previously expressed, she DID know.  This was announced and the guys were already standing in line on the other side.  
There is no limit to being a single woman, but you should know when you should not be participating in something.  I am just under 40 and just recently engaged for the first time.  I would NOT run to the dance floor with the 20 somethings for a stripper show.  I would just not. I have felt too old for this for a very long time, even without the support hose.  
Worst things I've seen at a wedding?  This was one of those things.  Whole room cringing. People still talking about it.  I was there and I am telling you it was weird and awkward which is what I thought we were doing here.  
Oh, and the lady who paid the guy to be there?  That was not an assumption.  She did pay him.  He told a few people he was an escort and even passed out cards. 
*********BOX**********

What the hell? Are you serious? They announce that there's going to be a garter chair show? Men line up for it?  Gigolos are passing out cards? 

What kind of weddings are these? I've seen the creepy garter thing a couple times, (one time the bouquet girl just said nope, not happening, thanks) but there wasn't a big announcement or organized team thing. And yep, found it stoopid. 

And as repulsive as it is, and embarrassing to guests, age has fuck all to do with it.  That's the point. 

NOBODY should be participating in cringeworthy things like this.  50 something "Grandma" making an ass out of herself is no more revolting than a 20 something making an ass out of herself. I wouldn't have done that at 20 or 50. Crass is crass is crass. Both earn equal eye rolls from me. 

Catching the bouquet is altogether different. It's a silly old superstition, but not gross, or related to garters in any way. So saying eeeeww a MOM caught the bouquet is just rude. Not that I catch bouquets, because I'm not an attention seeker. If actively nagged to join in, I'll politely hover around the edges, avoid the magic bouquet like bubonic plague, and hurry back to my drink. 

But I wouldn't judge an older woman for joining in. Her choice, if she thinks it's fun. I don't, but other people obviously do. 

So, yep, it read as ageist.  Because you were specifically pointing out age, not just behaviors. 

[Deleted User]

I went to a wedding a couple years ago where the officiant had a ten minute prayer for all the doomed unborn children in this country. At the request of the bride and groom. It was uncomfortable to say the least.

NotTheOnlyOne

I have nothing against catching bouquets, I plan to toss mine to ALL women, not just single ones. But it will be clear there is no garter show or toss. I have to have the DJ specifically announce it because it will be expected and I don't want the married or older women to miss out because they think that might be in their future.

Again, this mom KNEW there was a garter show. The escort ended up having to put the garter on her because people were so uncomfortable.

I have to say the giggolo thing is not common. That was at least 15 years ago and the only time I have been aware of one.

missglitter89

I went to a wedding last year where the bride had no bridal party(fine) but she had the photographer take posed photos of all the couples that attended. It felt like prom and everyone was super uncomfortable. She didn't even give anyone a choice if they wanted to do it or not; her sister even tried to leave she was so uncomfortable with it. I have just never seen a wedding where there were formal-posed pictures with all the guests. (idk this may be normal correct me if i'm wrong, i've just never seen it/thought it was odd)

Another one; same wedding. Brides mother threw the "reception" at her house, there were like 15-20 people. The mother was showing the grandmother around the house; shows her the living room where she points out her new tv stand.  (Old tv stand belonged to the father who passed, the brother of these sisters took the tv stand, didnt like it and traded it to the mother; the mother then gave it to the bride and got a new one). Brides sister hears about the new tv stand and storms over to the bride and starts yelling at her about the dads tv stand and demanding that she give it to her. In front of all these people. It was extremely awkward, most of the guests wandered off into other rooms at this point. The sisters havent spoken since then. Crazy

NotTheOnlyOne

I can understand where that read as ageist because I knew it would as I was typing it. I didn't reword it because leaving it out would have changed what the experience was. It was a factor. I'd be sugar coating it for the Internet if I had changed it. RL is not as politically correct.

The young people there were uncomfortable but the older people were borderline offended by the whole scene.

I will will reword from now on.