Worst Things You've Seen At Weddings You Attended

[Deleted User]

msuprincess04 said:

My friend brought her boyfriend to her wedding. She got divorced about 6 weeks later and married the boyfriend.

ETA: It wouldn't have been so awkward except she told me she was sleeping with the boyfriend at her reception. Umm. Not sure how she expected me to respond to that.

Say WHAAAAT?!

[Deleted User]

leroweb said:

Porta-potty.... That sums it up

These can be really nice, and are appreciated when you're at big outdoor weddings and receptions- at least by me.  I'd rather not hold it for 5-7 hours.

There's a place called Crown Restrooms (the purple potty people) in my town and they have amazing porta-potties.  Fiance's cousin had them at her wedding a few summers back.

leroweb

Yes they can be nice but this was your standard run of the mill porta-potty placed outside the reception venue or you could walk half a mile one way to a bathroom in the park with our doors on the stalls. So there was that too

leroweb

I chose the no doors

TNDancer

leroweb said:

Yes they can be nice but this was your standard run of the mill porta-potty placed outside the reception venue or you could walk half a mile one way to a bathroom in the park with our doors on the stalls. So there was that too

I hate those things! Why do parks think no doors is ok?

VicTim328

-Groom's father is a pastor and wed my college roommate her her DH.  They waited until marriage.  As the FOG was asking "Do you Andrew, take this woman...." he slipped and said "as your lawfully bedded wife?"

-Not sure how it is going to turn out, but my older sister recently informed me that we are all to wear our pajamas to her wedding at her FI's farm/lakehouse and then proceed to PJ style brunch....

-Cousin's wedding was dry (bride has been sober 5 years).  It was mostly family, but the bride's entire sorority somehow got invited. The girls kept running across the street to buy alcohol to sneak into reception.  They were completely sloshed by the time they opened the dance floor. One in particular could not understand the concept of walking in 5 inch heels.  She stepped on the flower girl's foot and broke it in 3 places... little girl needed surgery.

snowywinter

TNDancer said:

leroweb said:

Yes they can be nice but this was your standard run of the mill porta-potty placed outside the reception venue or you could walk half a mile one way to a bathroom in the park with our doors on the stalls. So there was that too

I hate those things! Why do parks think no doors is ok?

My question would be, why do couples think it's okay to have receptions at a place without a decent restroom?

madamerwin

FeeleyToBe said:

leroweb said:

Porta-potty.... That sums it up

These can be really nice, and are appreciated when you're at big outdoor weddings and receptions- at least by me.  I'd rather not hold it for 5-7 hours.

There's a place called Crown Restrooms (the purple potty people) in my town and they have amazing porta-potties.  Fiance's cousin had them at her wedding a few summers back.

This. H's cousin's wedding had porta-potties, and at first I was horrified. But the free booze got the best of me and I eventually had to go, and I was really surprised at how nice these ones were... They were SUPER clean, they had a full running sink with soap, they actually flushed (so you weren't just peeing into an abyss). But if they were gross, construction site porta's, that would not be ok. These ones were nicer than most public bathrooms I have been in.

julieanne912

snowywinter said:

TNDancer said:

leroweb said:

Yes they can be nice but this was your standard run of the mill porta-potty placed outside the reception venue or you could walk half a mile one way to a bathroom in the park with our doors on the stalls. So there was that too

I hate those things! Why do parks think no doors is ok?

My question would be, why do couples think it's okay to have receptions at a place without a decent restroom?

So much this.  I was pretty set on having a barn/farm wedding, but there were so many nice barns with really shitty (no pun intended haha) bathroom situations.  I ended up picking mine even though it didn't have the farm atmosphere I wanted (barn was moved to a property within city limits), because the owners added on real legitimate bathrooms with multiple stalls, sinks, etc.  

Side note, on a Facebook group I'm on, a girl was selling a full on sink setup that could attach to a garden hose.  She used it at her wedding so the guests would have a place to wash their hands after using the Porta-Potties they brought in.

snowywinter

julieanne912 said:

snowywinter said:

TNDancer said:

leroweb said:

Yes they can be nice but this was your standard run of the mill porta-potty placed outside the reception venue or you could walk half a mile one way to a bathroom in the park with our doors on the stalls. So there was that too

I hate those things! Why do parks think no doors is ok?

My question would be, why do couples think it's okay to have receptions at a place without a decent restroom?

So much this.  I was pretty set on having a barn/farm wedding, but there were so many nice barns with really shitty (no pun intended haha) bathroom situations.  I ended up picking mine even though it didn't have the farm atmosphere I wanted (barn was moved to a property within city limits), because the owners added on real legitimate bathrooms with multiple stalls, sinks, etc.  

Side note, on a Facebook group I'm on, a girl was selling a full on sink setup that could attach to a garden hose.  She used it at her wedding so the guests would have a place to wash their hands after using the Porta-Potties they brought in.

Ick, ick, ick. I hope people at least get a warning that that's what their sorry excuse for a sink is. Sorry, but I think having a reception with pora-potties such as the ones described above is ruder than a gap, ruder than a dollar dance, ruder than a honey-fund or any other etiquette breach people complain about.

julieanne912

snowywinter said:

julieanne912 said:

snowywinter said:

TNDancer said:

leroweb said:

Yes they can be nice but this was your standard run of the mill porta-potty placed outside the reception venue or you could walk half a mile one way to a bathroom in the park with our doors on the stalls. So there was that too

I hate those things! Why do parks think no doors is ok?

My question would be, why do couples think it's okay to have receptions at a place without a decent restroom?

So much this.  I was pretty set on having a barn/farm wedding, but there were so many nice barns with really shitty (no pun intended haha) bathroom situations.  I ended up picking mine even though it didn't have the farm atmosphere I wanted (barn was moved to a property within city limits), because the owners added on real legitimate bathrooms with multiple stalls, sinks, etc.  

Side note, on a Facebook group I'm on, a girl was selling a full on sink setup that could attach to a garden hose.  She used it at her wedding so the guests would have a place to wash their hands after using the Porta-Potties they brought in.

Ick, ick, ick. I hope people at least get a warning that that's what their sorry excuse for a sink is. Sorry, but I think having a reception with pora-potties such as the ones described above is ruder than a gap, ruder than a dollar dance, ruder than a honey-fund or any other etiquette breach people complain about.

I figured, I don't want to attempt to pee in a portapotty in my beautiful wedding dress, so why would I expect my guests to attempt it in their nice clothes either?  The ONLY time I will use a porta potty is at a music festival.  

laurad75

When my cousin was married someone that her parents knew officiated the wedding.  He was rambling about marriage and started talking about sex but referred to as 'S - E - X' and then during the vows he called the bride the wrong name.  It was so uncomfortable.  

[Deleted User]

julieanne912 said:

snowywinter said:

TNDancer said:

leroweb said:

Yes they can be nice but this was your standard run of the mill porta-potty placed outside the reception venue or you could walk half a mile one way to a bathroom in the park with our doors on the stalls. So there was that too

I hate those things! Why do parks think no doors is ok?

My question would be, why do couples think it's okay to have receptions at a place without a decent restroom?

So much this.  I was pretty set on having a barn/farm wedding, but there were so many nice barns with really shitty (no pun intended haha) bathroom situations.  I ended up picking mine even though it didn't have the farm atmosphere I wanted (barn was moved to a property within city limits), because the owners added on real legitimate bathrooms with multiple stalls, sinks, etc.  

Side note, on a Facebook group I'm on, a girl was selling a full on sink setup that could attach to a garden hose.  She used it at her wedding so the guests would have a place to wash their hands after using the Porta-Potties they brought in.

I have one of these on my amazon wishlist.  I want a sink/table outside for gardening reasons though, not as a replacement for, you know, actually sanitizing your hands.

julieanne912

adk19 said:

julieanne912 said:

snowywinter said:

TNDancer said:

leroweb said:

Yes they can be nice but this was your standard run of the mill porta-potty placed outside the reception venue or you could walk half a mile one way to a bathroom in the park with our doors on the stalls. So there was that too

I hate those things! Why do parks think no doors is ok?

My question would be, why do couples think it's okay to have receptions at a place without a decent restroom?

So much this.  I was pretty set on having a barn/farm wedding, but there were so many nice barns with really shitty (no pun intended haha) bathroom situations.  I ended up picking mine even though it didn't have the farm atmosphere I wanted (barn was moved to a property within city limits), because the owners added on real legitimate bathrooms with multiple stalls, sinks, etc.  

Side note, on a Facebook group I'm on, a girl was selling a full on sink setup that could attach to a garden hose.  She used it at her wedding so the guests would have a place to wash their hands after using the Porta-Potties they brought in.

I have one of these on my amazon wishlist.  I want a sink/table outside for gardening reasons though, not as a replacement for, you know, actually sanitizing your hands.

Yeah I was half tempted to get it to put in the yard or my garage for the reasons you mention... not to use at a wedding!

Sherbie25

Hilarious!

leroweb

I have to say at least they gave you an option to wash hands, better than none lmao

Sherbie25

MusicSoul24 said:

This thread popped up at a perfect time.  I was just at a wedding yesterday, and let me tell you, it was very.....interesting.

> MOG wore a beige/nude dress.  With a neon pink bra.
> At the ceremony, the pastor's homily used Bambi (you know, the Disney movie) as a point of reference - when Bambi is "twitterpated" and in love with the chick deer was likened to this couple's union.  Then he talked about how important it was for the groom to take care of the bride because she's so fragile and delicate.
> Before the vows, the pastor looked at the bride and said that they had a surprise for the two of them, which was the bride's mother singing a song about the sacred vows they were about to take.  Bride's face turned to stone - she attempted to smile towards the end, but it just looked like a grimace (Mom's singing was definitely sub par).  In her defense, though, if someone had told me during my wedding that there was a surprise for me I probably would have had the same reaction.
> Bride yelled across the room at the reception to have the pastor give the blessing.
> There was alcohol at the reception, but I had to teach the bartender how to make a fuzzy navel.  I had to tell him what was in it.  Then, he started pouring the peach schnapps into the glass and told me to "tell me when."
>  There weren't any utensils to pick up cheese/pepperoni/crackers/fruit/vegetables.  Everyone was using their fingers.
> MOG was setting up the chocolate fountain and instead of using a napkin to wipe dripped chocolate off the bowl, she used her fingers, then licked her fingers, then continued using them to clean up the chocolate.
> B&G didn't do their first dance or cut the cake until 2 hours into the reception.  Most people had left by that point.
> MOG and bartender mixed up the punch in a bucket.  A literal bucket.  That had dirt all around the top.  Just because it had pine sol in it doesn't make it clean.
> A groomsman's girlfriend showed up to the reception in sweatpants and then proceeded to drag said groomsman out because she "hates all the people that are there."  Caused a bit of a spectacle.

On top of that is that the bride is 26 weeks pregnant and is super showing but kept proclaiming on facebook how she "didn't even look pregnant" while wearing her wedding dress (spoiler alert: she totally did).  Now don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with pregnancy before marriage, but I do have a problem with pretending that you're not pregnant when you so obviously are.

The true icing on the cake, however, was that she wore the dress that she had bought during her first engagement.

Is this all one wedding?!

Sherbie25

spockforprez said:

randomslove said:

So I was in the WP of a small, DIY wedding not long ago. I knew the couple worked long hours, so I offered to help some in the days leading up to the wedding, assuming based on what MOG (who came up a month or so in advance to help) was saying that it would be mostly food, and everything else would be done by the time we came up.

Well, we came up and almost nothing was done. They needed us to help get everything for the wedding (arch, tent, grill, etc.)-- so it was a good thing I had to bring my truck (FI's car's transmission went out). As far as decorations, only one piece was done. The kids of the bride and groom were running around quite a bit...

And the bride for some reason believed she wasn't supposed to help with anything wedding related. I don't know how this miscommunication occurred. Apparently the groom had told her that on the day of the wedding she should be focused on just getting herself ready ("looking pretty"), and I'm guessing she assumed from there? I have no idea...

What I do know is that I was very happy to help out at first. Until day three, when the BM decided my FI and I had slept long enough, knocked angrily on our door, and walked off before we could answer. No explanation. Apparently, he had decided (and not told us) that the guys were going to be leaving the house at 9 to pick up tents, etc. My FI and I had stayed up until 3 something, when I'd been hot-gluing decorations and making some rice crispy treat thing.

It was that day I started getting pissed. All I heard was complaining about the help being given ALL day. MOG wasn't consulting the bride about each and every decoration, nor was she working fast enough (she was also supposed to sew clothes). MOG was trying to get everything done and there was just too much for one, two, probably even three people to get done on time as far as cooking, decorations go. There just was. She had been unable to complete much before we got up there because she was watching the kids everyday by herself and has a lot of health issues on top of it.

So at one point, bride is on the verge of murder because she hates a lot of the stuff MOG is doing. My FI steps up and talks to MOG about it-- because NO one else will. MOG ends up half in tears and silent the rest of the day. I lose the only alone time I was going to have with my FI because other people can't bother to tell us the plans they make for us...

But, hey, Bachelorette party. I go out with bride, her FSIL, and it's kinda fun. However, I cannot for the life of me sleep, and FI and I end up going to bed sometime after sunrise because he was worried until I got home.

The next day is the wedding. We are all woken by yelling to get up. Whatever, it's not a big deal. I stay in my room doing homework for an hour and a half, but I hear people complaining about "needing every body able to help." Ummm... I ignore their loud complaints and get my homework done, because this is not my wedding. While I'm willing to help, I -am not- willing to fail my courses. In my online course, missing one homework assignment may be grounds enough to get kicked out of the course, per the syllabus.

So I come out. MOG, newly-arrived Uncle of Groom, and I did a lot of the cooking yesterday. The decorations are pretty much done. MOG is scrambling to do as much of the sewing as she can, but it's not looking good. Honestly, the only thing i could do inside is some cooking.

I go outside. I dislike the BM, reeeeeaaalllyyy dislike. I won't go into reasons, just suffice to say that if I never see him again, it'll still be too soon. However, he's actually shutting up today, rather than complaining and whining the entire time.

I go inside to use the bathroom, put my phone on the charger... and hear the bride complain about how I should be helping more, she doesn't like that I'm outside, I should be inside, she doesn't want me working with my FI, because she feels we distract each other (we don't). I get pissed. I really, really, really dislike that she's complaining about free labor. I go outside, tell my FI I want to leave immediately after the wedding, screw helping them clean up. Volunteering means just that-- volunteering. When I say I'm done, I'm done.

And then the bride runs over to me, tears in her eyes, because the MOG can't finish all the clothes. I inwardly sigh. I'm still pissed that I overheard her complaining and she hasn't helped at all with wedding stuff, but I'm like, "Let's go grab some clothes from Target for the kids." So we go, grab clothes, get the kids cleaned up... the girl who said she'd help with bride's hair and make-up hasn't shown... I start decorating the wedding arch. Bride asks me if I'll do it (I did her hair and make-up the night before for the bachelorette party).

Sure, lemme finish the arch right-quick. I ask my FI to finish the decorating, or find someone willing to help. Just get tablecloths on tables, streamers up, paper lanterns up, and it'll pretty much be good enough. MOG is doing groom's outfit-- which is actually completed on time and looks good (so kids and BM had to get clothes-- BM had slacks and shirt). I get bride ready. She looks great.

And she starts telling me she's really grateful for the help, they couldn't have done it without us. I tell her I was almost ready to leave right then and there, she asks why, so I told her I felt like this whole thing was chaos, and overheard her, but it's not a big deal right now.

Groom thanks FI and I for everything-- including getting him and bride mentally okay with the chaos, and dealing with MOG.

Wedding actually looks pretty good, even though we all have no idea what's happening, and it's an hour-ish late (all the guests were late, too, somehow). There's a big storm and for the first dance, we all held the tent down so the couple could do it.

FI's aunt is there and asks if FI and I would like the extra bed in one of the two rooms she and her family has gotten for the night. We say yes. When bride overhears, she's instantly jealous until it's explained that no, we aren't getting the room to ourselves.

I'm sooooooooooooooooo happy to leave that night, sleep in a bed, not be woken by someone assuming it's my responsibility to do something.

We go back and help clean-up for a few hours, then leave for good.

Anyway, it's been over a week. I know I should and could have stood up and said, "Bride, you need to help out instead of just complaining." But I didn't want to create issues with the family. I'm happy everything turned out as well as it did. However, I am very, very happy we are getting a venue and professional food, and doing everything ourselves. FI's mom wants to help, which is all well and good (appreciated-- she can make some pretty awesome crafts), but I don't want to push everything onto her or make her feel like she has to take on more, etc. Nor will I expect people who say they're going to help out to help with EVERYTHING and on my time.

Anyway, I'm very glad their wedding is over. And I'm overjoyed that I have seventeen months until mine.

WHAT. THE. FUCK. 

You are a fucking saint. WHAT???????????????? That is awful. Fucking awful.

There's a difference between being a saint and being a mug. You can't let people treat you like that.

mollybarker11

luckystraw said:

The rest of the wedding went smoothly until just before the exit when the bride had a little breakdown (she saved herself for her wedding night and was SUPER nervous) and kept refusing to leave!

Well this just broke my heart.

Knottie1446223751

All I have to say is WOW....

My Fiance recently was a groomsman in his brothers wedding. The bride was a beast! The entire color scheme and wedding theme was based on the mother of the grooms classic convertible that they were planning on driving away in and yet during the wedding and reception the bride was so rude to his poor mother that she left early in tears!

I have never been more embarrassed or shocked - even as a bystander! The bride never gave clear instructions on where and when to do pictures so I was waiting in the lobby with the MOG to be called out for pictures when about 5 different strangers came and told us that we were missing the pictures. We walked outside to allow the MOG to take her place when we were rudely yelled at that we were in the way, the bride refused to talk to the MOG and the photographer just ushered her out of the way... Long story short there is not a single picture in existence of the bride and the grooms parents. They weren't included in a single picture!! 

The only reason we even have one with the groom and his parents is because we took it ourselves on a smartphone! There was no bad blood that any of us were aware of (though there is now!) And we were all blown away at her gall to ask to drive their fancy, very beloved, classic car and yet treat them so rudely through the entire thing!

She claims the reason is that the photographer was expensive so they had a really small picture list but yet she had a chance to get an individual (professional) picture with every member of her college sorority and every kid she'd ever babysat for.... But yet none of his family???

That and through the entire wedding the bride and groom both made really uncomfortable 'jokes' that basically implied neither one wanted to be there.

RlovesR

This one is pretty recent - a Hallowe'en wedding with mandatory costumes.  We had flown in for the wedding (the groom is a cousin of FI) and hadn't packed costumes.  I don't even own a Hallowe'en costume and had no desire to spend a whole night in some cheap itchy polyester thing, but I wore a black dress with spider-web tights and figured that if anyone asked I could be a witch.  Oh course, I was hoping no one would ask because even though the invites were a bit control-freaky, who really thinks they can enforce costumed dress among adults, right?

Nope!  The couple had attendants stationed with masks for everyone who hadn't brought what they considered to be an acceptable a costume.  So a bunch of us were stuck with these stupid glitter-and-feathers contraptions all evening, and every time I took it off a bridesmaid would come over and hiss "Put your mask on!" while gesturing frantically at the bride. Never mind that the elastic was crushing my hair, it was really awkward to eat and drink in and - oh yeah- I'm a grown woman who didn't want to be wearing a mask!  Meanwhile, the bride and groom kept going from table to table while she shilled for compliments (Isn't this AMAZING?  Isn't this so much better than traditional weddings?  Aren't you glad we did this?).

We ended up leaving really early, because the whole thing had this weird clenched-teeth vibe to it that neither of us could stand.

[Deleted User]

Knottie1443179908 said:

This one is pretty recent - a Hallowe'en wedding with mandatory costumes.  We had flown in for the wedding (the groom is a cousin of FI) and hadn't packed costumes.  I don't even own a Hallowe'en costume and had no desire to spend a whole night in some cheap itchy polyester thing, but I wore a black dress with spider-web tights and figured that if anyone asked I could be a witch.  Oh course, I was hoping no one would ask because even though the invites were a bit control-freaky, who really thinks they can enforce costumed dress among adults, right?

Nope!  The couple had attendants stationed with masks for everyone who hadn't brought what they considered to be an acceptable a costume.  So a bunch of us were stuck with these stupid glitter-and-feathers contraptions all evening, and every time I took it off a bridesmaid would come over and hiss "Put your mask on!" while gesturing frantically at the bride. Never mind that the elastic was crushing my hair, it was really awkward to eat and drink in and - oh yeah- I'm a grown woman who didn't want to be wearing a mask!  Meanwhile, the bride and groom kept going from table to table while she shilled for compliments (Isn't this AMAZING?  Isn't this so much better than traditional weddings?  Aren't you glad we did this?).

We ended up leaving really early, because the whole thing had this weird clenched-teeth vibe to it that neither of us could stand.

This story is why I'm on TK.  Thank you so much for this.   I'm sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad someone did so they could share this amazing story.

RlovesR

adk19 said:

Knottie1443179908 said:

This one is pretty recent - a Hallowe'en wedding with mandatory costumes.  We had flown in for the wedding (the groom is a cousin of FI) and hadn't packed costumes.  I don't even own a Hallowe'en costume and had no desire to spend a whole night in some cheap itchy polyester thing, but I wore a black dress with spider-web tights and figured that if anyone asked I could be a witch.  Oh course, I was hoping no one would ask because even though the invites were a bit control-freaky, who really thinks they can enforce costumed dress among adults, right?

Nope!  The couple had attendants stationed with masks for everyone who hadn't brought what they considered to be an acceptable a costume.  So a bunch of us were stuck with these stupid glitter-and-feathers contraptions all evening, and every time I took it off a bridesmaid would come over and hiss "Put your mask on!" while gesturing frantically at the bride. Never mind that the elastic was crushing my hair, it was really awkward to eat and drink in and - oh yeah- I'm a grown woman who didn't want to be wearing a mask!  Meanwhile, the bride and groom kept going from table to table while she shilled for compliments (Isn't this AMAZING?  Isn't this so much better than traditional weddings?  Aren't you glad we did this?).

We ended up leaving really early, because the whole thing had this weird clenched-teeth vibe to it that neither of us could stand.

This story is why I'm on TK.  Thank you so much for this.   I'm sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad someone did so they could share this amazing story.

All in service of The Knot!

I forgot to mention that by leaving early, we apparently missed the dollar dance.  Where the groom danced awkwardly by himself while the FOB tried to give the BMs money to go dance with him.

Knottie1438202885

My cousin (groom) got engaged about two months before me. I really like his FI, and she asked me to be her personal attendant (I said yes, thinking, what does that mean? Lol).

We did some chatting together since we were both planning, and they made a few questionable decisions (inviting more people than the venue holds, saying when the beer & wine was out it was out, listing the registry on the invitation…)

Come wedding weekend, FI and I drive 8 hours back to my hometown for it. We went to the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, where I learned the MOH was even more unhelpful than I had previously thought (at the bachelorette party, I learned she hadn’t helped plan any pre wedding events and she tried to ditch out on her portion of the party - hotel, dinner, a few drinks at the bar and we all covered for the bride, $80 each).  After dinner, we helped set up the head table, last thing to decorate, and I saw she was one of those people who complains about how things are done, asks if she can just do it, and then does nothing. Nice. Also at the rehearsal, I was told opposing things by the bride and the church lady running the wedding at the same time. The wedding was at the beginning of August in the Midwest. The forecast was 101 degrees, and the church opened on to an all cement plaza where the bride wanted a bubble exit. I am not a confrontational or aggressive person, so I awkwardly stood there silently as the church lady told me people would try to linger inside because of the heat, and I should start encouraging them outside as the end of the receiving line came, and the bride said No – send them straight outside. Straight outside – over and over. The bride also mentioned that she hoped my sister would show up to hand out programs (my sister was bitter over this – she got a text months before asking her to do this, said yes, and heard nothing else about it)

Wedding Day: I had been invited to show up at 7am to get my hair done with the bridesmaids, but I declined to sleep in a bit. Instead I was asked to show up at the church at 10:15am for pictures, for a 2:30pm ceremony. I arrived, dressed and ready to go, and she and the bridesmaids were in tank tops just starting their makeup. So I sat for an hour with them in the church basement while they finished and got dressed. Then we went to the church and they took family pictures, then bridal party pictures. After the family pictures, I overheard the MOB mention she was going to pick up the sandwiches. After the pictures, the bride asked if I waited for the rings, while the photographer took pictures of them. I chatted with my cousin until he was done, then headed back down to the bridal room. The MOB had picked up sandwiches for herself, the bride, and BMs. The only other food was a fruit tray they had taken to their hair appointment at 7am. Luckily, FI brought me some fast food, because I had no car to get myself something. The ceremony was nice, but only last 30min instead of the hour they planned on, which messed up the timeline for the rest of the day. And it ended up being 89 degrees and was overcast when the wedding ended, so I didn’t have to force people out to roast (which I wouldn’t have done) – they went on their own.

Reception: This was held in a new barn venue outside of town. It had no real bathrooms (yet, according to the owner) – 3 port a potties around the side with lights that didn’t work. A wall of west facing windows and tin roof, and the sun had reappeared heating up the entire barn. And the owner shut the AC off so it only got turned on about 30mins before guests arrived. Apparently they originally planned on putting several tables out on the deck, and having the dance floor out there, but changed with the weather report so instead they crammed as many tables inside as possible, including two touching the cake table, and then people had to move several tables for dancing. The tables were so close together that you couldn’t really walk through to get to the buffet, instead people were going out one door onto the deck and in through the door next to the buffet. They set it up for 210, when they had invited 285, but I don’t know if everyone had a seat or if they had many nos. MOH left the head table as soon as she could, sat with her BF for 30ish mins, and then left.  

And none of this includes how terrible the venue owner was, or that at the end of the night the bride and groom told us how we should do whatever we want for our wedding because it’s our day, etc.

 

A different story, when my dad got remarried 2 years ago, the BMs were my stepmom’s sister and SIL (all around 50), and me and my sister (23 and 19). My stepmom made a big deal a few months out about knowing when my sister and I would get into town for the wedding (she lived in another state and my dad had moved out there after getting engaged) so she could schedule nail, hair, and spray tan appts so we could all go together. About a week and a half before the wedding, stepmom sent an email with the schedule: Thurs-her/sis/sil get spray tans, me and my sister drive into town. Fri-me and sister were supposed to go white water rafting with my dad, her BIL, and her father. Others head off to nail salon with several bottles of champagne. Sat – me and sister have nail appt, others go to bridal luncheon with her out of town friends. Sun – wedding day – others head off to salon, me and sister and my dad end up going to hotel breakfast where his family was staying because we weren’t supposed to go for hair until about 3 hours after everyone else and had nothing to do until then. It all just rubbed me the wrong way because she was making a big deal about ALL us girls doing the beauty stuff together, and it ended up being an us and them thing.

mollybarker11

Knottie1438202885 said:

[...] I learned the MOH was even more unhelpful than I had previously thought (at the bachelorette party, I learned she hadn’t helped plan any pre wedding events and she tried to ditch out on her portion of the party - hotel, dinner, a few drinks at the bar and we all covered for the bride, $80 each).  After dinner, we helped set up the head table, last thing to decorate, and I saw she was one of those people who complains about how things are done, asks if she can just do it, and then does nothing.

[...] MOH left the head table as soon as she could, sat with her BF for 30ish mins, and then left.

That wedding sounds like an organizational wreck and a huge stress for you! But these comments stood out to me:
- Did you all discuss budgets before planning the bachelorette party? Unless she agreed to pay $80 I totally understand her being put off.
- Asking to do something and then doing nothing is lame but did she volunteer to set up the reception hall in the first place? You guys should not have been responsible for that.
- She was allowed to leave whenever she wanted, but maybe she would have stayed longer if she'd been seated with her BF all night.

randomslove

Whoa, I hadn't looked at this in ages. @Sherbie25 -- honestly, the reason I didn't fight more was because it's my FI's family (I decided to leave that element out of the initial post). Also, his mom/my FMIL would have tried doing everything herself anyway because she'd do anything for her boys. I couldn't leave her to it.

I definitely learned my lesson though. I don't think I'd do that much again.

Sherbie25

randomslove said:

Whoa, I hadn't looked at this in ages. @Sherbie25 -- honestly, the reason I didn't fight more was because it's my FI's family (I decided to leave that element out of the initial post). Also, his mom/my FMIL would have tried doing everything herself anyway because she'd do anything for her boys. I couldn't leave her to it.

I definitely learned my lesson though. I don't think I'd do that much again.

I appreciate family dynamics can be difficult. That can put a different spin on things. 

Knottie1438202885

@mollybarker11

For the bachelorette party, that was about $10 more than we were originally told about 3 months before the party. We all got the same facebook message. We covered hotel, dinner, few drinks, and the bride drove everyone and paid for all gas (3hr trip each way). I didn't think it was a bad deal personally, but she bragged about her shopping spree the previous weekend then was squirmy when it came to paying in - it didn't look good, and if she didn't want to spend money on it, she should have just declined. This, her being unfriendly, and seemingly uninterested in the wedding events that didn't involve free booze made me judgmental about her leaving early, though I do understand that's her choice.

For decorating, I know the bridesmaids were asked to help set up the reception before the rehearsal. I didn't know that the head table still needed done, but I would think the bridesmaids did, because I do know they all went to set up. I'll admit I don't know what tone they were asked to help in 

Overall, it was definitely an eye opener for me with my own wedding! And also I have the lovely ladies on this board to help steer me in the right direction etiquette-wise!

[Deleted User]

I saw guests arrive at a wedding with small children and a babysitter when the invite specifically said "regret no children".  The babysitter and children disappeared for the ceremony but reappeared in time for the reception and expected the bride & groom to feed them all, when they hadn't been catered for.  The guests with children happened to the groomsmen's wives and neither of the groomsmen (or their wives) had had told the the bride or groom that they'd be bringing their children & a babysitter with them.  If they'd gone through the trouble of arranging a babysitter, why weren't the children left at home with the babysitter?  (The groomsmen and their wives all know each other and often leave their children with the same babysitter).

Jen4948

Silvene said:

I saw guests arrive at a wedding with small children and a babysitter when the invite specifically said "regret no children".  The babysitter and children disappeared for the ceremony but reappeared in time for the reception and expected the bride & groom to feed them all, when they hadn't been catered for.  The guests with children happened to the groomsmen's wives and neither of the groomsmen (or their wives) had had told the the bride or groom that they'd be bringing their children & a babysitter with them.  If they'd gone through the trouble of arranging a babysitter, why weren't the children left at home with the babysitter?  (The groomsmen and their wives all know each other and often leave their children with the same babysitter).

The invitation was rude, but so were the guests who brought their children.