co-worker snark #2

redoryx

So, quick recap for those who many not remember my co-worker 

Late 30s/early 40s (I'm actually not entirely sure, feel rude asking LOL) 

--In a LTR, but not yet engaged

--Living on her for 2 decades but hasn't yet upgraded dishes or appliances because she's waiting for her non-existent shower because her mom's friends are there to buy it for her

--Not only has she not upgraded her dishes, she actually has the ones picked out that she'll eventually register for when she eventually gets engaged. 

Today, we're talking about weddings and it seems conversations have taken place with her parents where they know she's expecting them to pay for her entire wedding and it's going to be expensive. Because she wants the hall and she wants the fancy dress and she wants the seated four course dinner and the live band and....

BITCH, PAY FOR IT YOUR DAMN SELF. 

Edit to add: I forgot the best part! While we're having this entire conversation (when I ask why she doesn't pay for it herself she just looks at me incredulous and says "because I don't want to) -- she then turns to our other coworker and tells her that her life is a mess and she needs to grow up. Really. Not sure you're in a position to be telling people younger than you to grow up. 

TrixieJess

This is one of those Train Wrecks in Progress I love watching. It pisses me off, but I have to watch it. 

Please let us know if she actually gets to the wedding part...it seems odd that she's not engaged yet.

southernbelle0915

Endless entertainment. 

She sounds like the type of person where Bravo just foams at the mouth when she auditions for a reality show. 

redoryx

TrixieJess said:

This is one of those Train Wrecks in Progress I love watching. It pisses me off, but I have to watch it. 

Please let us know if she actually gets to the wedding part...it seems odd that she's not engaged yet.

She's been apparently planning this her entire life. Although she begrudgingly admits she'll have to make some compromises because her current boyfriend is from a blue collar family and they wont' like her fancy wedding. 

I have absolutely no idea what that has to do with anything, but it made our one coworker call her "platinum collar" which is my new favorite phrase.

banana468

I once had a summer internship at a company and a temp there was planning her wedding....because God told her to.

She was not in a relationship at the time.    

minttobemrsb

Ah, I remeber her. She sounds like a peach. I bet she has every little detail planned out on pinterest. Insert groom and voila! I almost want her to get engaged just for the stories. (no shame here) Is that bad? 

mikenberger

the MOH of a wedding I'm in has her entire wedding picked out. "We're having a honeymoon fund, we're having our wedding here and our reception here..." She's been with this dude for 12 years. You ask him? "Hell no. I'm never getting married."

Okie dokie then. 

(And f'n gag with the honeymoon fund) Why can't people just enjoy their life and whatever comes their way? I LOVED being single. I love being in a relationship. I can't wait to be married. But sitting around and dwelling on something like that cannot be healthy.

PamBeesly524

I honestly can't picture planning out my wedding ahead of time... I feel like there are so many parts of our wedding that FI and I have planned TOGETHER. Other times, when I was making decisions, I made them with him in mind. I wouldn't want to plan this entire thing with only myself in mind.

redoryx

I honestly can't picture planning out my wedding ahead of time... I feel like there are so many parts of our wedding that FI and I have planned TOGETHER. Other times, when I was making decisions, I made them with him in mind. I wouldn't want to plan this entire thing with only myself in mind.

This is what concerns me. Like, if they get engaged, what is HE going to want and what happens if it's vastly different than what she wants? 

She has a tendency to "we" him -- which, of course is totally fine but some of the situations are just odd. So, they are planning a trip together and she apparently doesn't think he's adult and grown-up enough to shop appropriately for himself so "we went shopping for him" and "we found these great shoes and we both really like them." He also has a 20 something son and "we both think he needs to get a job" 

peachy13

My co-worker is so similar. Slightly older and obsessed with her future wedding though not engaged. My younger sister just got engaged a few weeks ago and I told my co-worker about it when she asked how my weekend was -- that was the highlight that particular weekend. Her response was:

"Oh god, your poor parents!!"

Gotta love that she just automatically assumed that our parents were paying for both of their daughters' weddings. For starters, our father passed away. Second, our mother is generously contributing to my wedding, but for the majority, my FI and I are paying for most of it. I would assume that my sister will likely be in the same boat with her FI. Not sure what the best approach was to responding to my co-worker was so I kind of just nodded at her and said "yeah."

Heffalump

I worked with a woman once who would frequently say "I have the job, the house, the car, and the ring, now all I need is the man!"  It started off so promisingly:  sure, focus on your career if that's important to you; buy a house if it's right for you, no reason to wait until you're married; hey, it was a nice right hand ring, more power to her.  (The car, I didn't get--public transportation was non-existent in the area where we worked, so a car was pretty much a necessity.)  And I could see if she was actively pursuing a relationship--you do you.  But she acted like the "man" part of the equation was just some random dude who needed to be locked in place to complete the puzzle.  She was always asking everyone if they knew anyone to fix her up with, and the look on her face was scary.  We called her Crazy Eyes way before OITNB was a thing.

littlepep

kikilamp said:

I honestly can't picture planning out my wedding ahead of time... I feel like there are so many parts of our wedding that FI and I have planned TOGETHER. Other times, when I was making decisions, I made them with him in mind. I wouldn't want to plan this entire thing with only myself in mind.

This. All. Day. 

Sure I thought about what I might want for my wedding. The more weddings I attended, I would think oh I really like that or oh I really don't like that. But I didn't know what FI wanted, and then all other factors like budget, guest list, what's available, etc. 

bizzy592

kikilamp said:

I honestly can't picture planning out my wedding ahead of time... I feel like there are so many parts of our wedding that FI and I have planned TOGETHER. Other times, when I was making decisions, I made them with him in mind. I wouldn't want to plan this entire thing with only myself in mind.

Ok, I know I'm going to sound like a snowflake here, but..

There weren't many aspects of our wedding that I had an idea about before really diving into planning, but there were a few. And frankly, I wish that I hadn't waited until FI was 'ready' to start planning, to actually start planning - because they're all booked up. Of course, this is all just kicking myself in hindsight, because a) I'd never make decisions about our wedding day and not include him, b) I didn't know until we actually started planning that we'd have very similar opinions about everything (so far), and c) neither of us expected that vendors would book up over a year out.

Still, shaking my head at past self.

drunkenwitch

I love a good train wreck.  Please keep the stories coming.

peachy13

The same co-worker who I refer to above made that "aw your poor parents" comment again today during a meeting when I told another one of our other co-workers that my younger sister was engaged. My other co-worker smiled and said "oh that's nice!" like a normal person when I told her, and then this co-worker comes up with her "aw your poor parents" comment. She doesn't even know my sister or our parents (parent actually, since our father passed away), and to just automatically assume that mommy and daddy are footing the bill for their little princesses' weddings is super rude.

Guess I'm out of fucks to give today because I turned to her and said "actually each of us with our fiances are paying for our own weddings." 

redoryx

I just found out at lunch today that this co-worker's boyfriend isn't even legally divorced yet. 

I'm not going to get all judgy about that -- my ex was in the process of getting divorced when we dated. But he had filed the paperwork already and it was finalized while we were dating. In this case, the guy and his wife have been separated for six years and he is only just looking into what he has to do, no paperwork has been filed or anything. 

I have to wonder how much of that is pressure from my co-worker so she can get engaged so she can have her shower so her mom's friends can buy her shit off her registry. 

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, DUDE. 

SepiaTone

redoryx said:

I just found out at lunch today that this co-worker's boyfriend isn't even legally divorced yet. 

I'm not going to get all judgy about that -- my ex was in the process of getting divorced when we dated. But he had filed the paperwork already and it was finalized while we were dating. In this case, the guy and his wife have been separated for six years and he is only just looking into what he has to do, no paperwork has been filed or anything. 

I have to wonder how much of that is pressure from my co-worker so she can get engaged so she can have her shower so her mom's friends can buy her shit off her registry. 

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, DUDE. 

This just seems to tacky to me. But, maybe other people in her family share this assumption.

Even though my Mom and Dad (technically step) were together from when I was 5, they waited to get married until his son from his first marriage was in college. (Step-bro and I are many years apart, and parents wanted to combine households a little more easily once he moved out.) Even though my mom was over 40, and had been financially independent for decades, owned her own house, and had a kid who was going to be in the wedding, some of her friends and relatives still made comments to my grandfather about having to pay for it. (My grandpa's "payment" was buying a new suit jacket and letting me sleepover for a week while my parents were on vacation.)

Some people are just tacky, but she might not be evil. Maybe she just had really poor home training or something.