Expecting to Expect... Head spinning

thisismynickname2

So.... DH and I are starting to plan TTC.  I am wondering what resources Knotties have found helpful?

It seems like there's an overwhelming amount of conflicting information out there. I looked up the "What to Expect When You're Expecting to Expect" book and saw reviews that it was poorly written. I don't lurk on The Bump because, well, I've heard through the grapevine here it's either dead or nutty over there. One day seafood causes birth defects and the next day it's ok to drink a glass of wine a week. I am on the American Nurses Association newsletter, which I may pay closer attention to now, as they tend to cite valid research (the latest being that too much caffeine during pregnancy is linked to childhood obesity). And what the heck side is the child supposed to sleep on now???

I did just have my annual well-woman exam and the doctor simply advised me to start on vitamins (omega 3s, folic acid and... shit, forgot.)

With so much "information" out there, WHERE do you start?

Heck you can link me to an old thread if I'm missing something on these boards. 

Thanks in advance  

mrsdee15

We're going to start in August.  I've gotten a basal body temperature thermometer to help track ovulation, and am going to start reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility (clicky).  The book came highly recommended.  I think they also recommend you start on a prenatal vitamin with folic acid (others may have more recommendations on that).  There's so much information out there, it's hard to know where to begin.  Good luck!

AprilH81

This website (clicky) is a great resource for all situations surrounding TTC.

A prenatal vitamin with folic acid and Omega3 will be all you need and a basal thermometer is great for tracking ovulation if you are interested in going that route.  The book Taking Charge of Your Fertility has a lot of information about how your body works and exactly what happens and when during your cycle.

KatieinBkln

Caveat: I'm no one's mother. But I've heard good things about this book, and the author had a Q&A/blog thing a while back that I enjoyed. No nonsense, data-driven info:

http://www.amazon.com/Expecting-Better-Conventional-Pregnancy-Wrong/dp/0143125702 

theartistformerlyknownas

TCOYF was far better than WTEWYE. IT's just written with such a condescending tone and SO MANY PUNS, I can't stand it. I do like the week by week information in the app, but the videos are that same awful tone because they're done by the author. And "Expecting to Expect?" What kinda bullshit is that? 

My doctor checked that I was still immune to things I should be immunized against (MMR and chicken pox) so I could get any necessary boosters before getting KU, and I was tested for the cystic fibrosis carrier gene but a lot of providers don't offer that until you're pregnant. I took a gummy prenatal for 3 months prior to trying. That's about it.

mrsdee15

Ditto on @AprilH81's website, there's lots of good info and really knowledgeable people on there.

thisismynickname2

Thank you!!!  Will check all that out.

Oh yeah, my doctor did recommend getting up to date on my immunizations. Goodness knows when I last took care of that. 

kaos16

thisismynickname said:

So.... DH and I are starting to plan TTC.  I am wondering what resources Knotties have found helpful?

It seems like there's an overwhelming amount of conflicting information out there. I looked up the "What to Expect When You're Expecting to Expect" book and saw reviews that it was poorly written. I don't lurk on The Bump because, well, I've heard through the grapevine here it's either dead or nutty over there. One day seafood causes birth defects and the next day it's ok to drink a glass of wine a week. I am on the American Nurses Association newsletter, which I may pay closer attention to now, as they tend to cite valid research (the latest being that too much caffeine during pregnancy is linked to childhood obesity). And what the heck side is the child supposed to sleep on now???

I did just have my annual well-woman exam and the doctor simply advised me to start on vitamins (omega 3s, folic acid and... shit, forgot.)

With so much "information" out there, WHERE do you start?

Heck you can link me to an old thread if I'm missing something on these boards. 

Thanks in advance  

I haven't heard this one yet. . . . very interesting.

I'm looking forward to this thread's responses!

theartistformerlyknownas

kaos16 said:

thisismynickname said:

So.... DH and I are starting to plan TTC.  I am wondering what resources Knotties have found helpful?

It seems like there's an overwhelming amount of conflicting information out there. I looked up the "What to Expect When You're Expecting to Expect" book and saw reviews that it was poorly written. I don't lurk on The Bump because, well, I've heard through the grapevine here it's either dead or nutty over there. One day seafood causes birth defects and the next day it's ok to drink a glass of wine a week. I am on the American Nurses Association newsletter, which I may pay closer attention to now, as they tend to cite valid research (the latest being that too much caffeine during pregnancy is linked to childhood obesity). And what the heck side is the child supposed to sleep on now???

I did just have my annual well-woman exam and the doctor simply advised me to start on vitamins (omega 3s, folic acid and... shit, forgot.)

With so much "information" out there, WHERE do you start?

Heck you can link me to an old thread if I'm missing something on these boards. 

Thanks in advance  

I haven't heard this one yet. . . . very interesting.

I'm looking forward to this thread's responses!

I missed this the first time around... but linked versus correlation or causation? I think it's far more likely that moms who drink a lot of pop feed their kids a lot of sugar...

My doctor has told me that every old study about caffeine during pregnancy has been debunked, and not to worry about my morning coffee fix. "Don't go throwing back 6 espressos at a time, but you shouldn't be doing that pregnant or not."

ashley8918

lolo883 said:

"Don't go throwing back 6 espressos at a time, but you shouldn't be doing that pregnant or not."

I WILL NEVER QUIT.

thisismynickname2

So the ANA linked to an article on Newsweek; here you go: http://www.newsweek.com/caffeine-during-pregnancy-nearly-doubles-childhood-obesity-risk-329817

God help me if I have to go caffeine free for 9 months.

theartistformerlyknownas

thisismynickname said:

So the ANA linked to an article on Newsweek; here you go: http://www.newsweek.com/caffeine-during-pregnancy-nearly-doubles-childhood-obesity-risk-329817

God help me if I have to go caffeine free for 9 months.

Nope still not giving it up.

I seriously could not have functioned in 1T without caffeine. I would have fallen asleep at the wheel. 

kaos16

thisismynickname said:

So the ANA linked to an article on Newsweek; here you go: http://www.newsweek.com/caffeine-during-pregnancy-nearly-doubles-childhood-obesity-risk-329817

God help me if I have to go caffeine free for 9 months.

sad, sad news. . . . and I say that as a TTC knottie, while drinking my iced latte.  Darn!

southernbelle0915

Very exciting! Congrats on your choice!

I just had a conversation with my OBGYN before we TTC. She wrote me a script for prenatals and I started taking them. I also stopped drinking when we started TTC because prevention and peace of mind, I guess.

Honestly, in all my reading from WTEWYE to Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven (liked this book) to Dr. Google, I've pretty much found that the underlying message is to be really healthy - natural, healthy diet; exercise; enough sleep...All stuff I should be doing.

The only things that have effected how I was living were: no alcohol, no raw meat (I heart sushi and order my steak blue), remembering to take a daily vitamin, not as heavy weight training at the gym, and sleeping on my side versus my stomach or my back. Other than that, I found most of it to be common sense for how I should be living anyway.

But everyone's medical needs are different. I was pretty healthy/sleeping enough/exercising and not taking any prescription meds when I started, so the transition wasn't very hard or complicated. I would just schedule time with your doc and ask a shit ton of questions.

sarawifenow

H and I are TTC. I take fish oil (which I took before), folic acid, and a prenatal vitamin every morning. H takes a multivitamin every day.

theartistformerlyknownas

southernbelle0915 said:

Very exciting! Congrats on your choice!

I just had a conversation with my OBGYN before we TTC. She wrote me a script for prenatals and I started taking them. I also stopped drinking when we started TTC because prevention and peace of mind, I guess.

Honestly, in all my reading from WTEWYE to Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven (liked this book) to Dr. Google, I've pretty much found that the underlying message is to be really healthy - natural, healthy diet; exercise; enough sleep...All stuff I should be doing.

The only things that have effected how I was living were: no alcohol, no raw meat (I heart sushi and order my steak blue), remembering to take a daily vitamin, not as heavy weight training at the gym, and sleeping on my side versus my stomach or my back. Other than that, I found most of it to be common sense for how I should be living anyway.

But everyone's medical needs are different. I was pretty healthy/sleeping enough/exercising and not taking any prescription meds when I started, so the transition wasn't very hard or complicated. I would just schedule time with your doc and ask a shit ton of questions.

And more power to ya if you can actually maintain that. In my case, hormonal exhaustion made me plop my ass down on the couch for hours at a time and eat nothing but bagels, French toast, and white rice for a solid month.

But baby's nutritional needs are very small at the beginning so the best resources for me were the ones that stressed realism and reassurance!

southernbelle0915

lolo883 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Very exciting! Congrats on your choice!

I just had a conversation with my OBGYN before we TTC. She wrote me a script for prenatals and I started taking them. I also stopped drinking when we started TTC because prevention and peace of mind, I guess.

Honestly, in all my reading from WTEWYE to Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven (liked this book) to Dr. Google, I've pretty much found that the underlying message is to be really healthy - natural, healthy diet; exercise; enough sleep...All stuff I should be doing.

The only things that have effected how I was living were: no alcohol, no raw meat (I heart sushi and order my steak blue), remembering to take a daily vitamin, not as heavy weight training at the gym, and sleeping on my side versus my stomach or my back. Other than that, I found most of it to be common sense for how I should be living anyway.

But everyone's medical needs are different. I was pretty healthy/sleeping enough/exercising and not taking any prescription meds when I started, so the transition wasn't very hard or complicated. I would just schedule time with your doc and ask a shit ton of questions.

And more power to ya if you can actually maintain that. In my case, hormonal exhaustion made me plop my ass down on the couch for hours at a time and eat nothing but bagels, French toast, and white rice for a solid month.

But baby's nutritional needs are very small at the beginning so the best resources for me were the ones that stressed realism and reassurance!

Definitely. I don't follow all the rules either. I have a cup of coffee 4 or 5 times a week. I try not to exceed 200mg daily, though.

If there's someone out there who only craves apples and lettuce versus mac and pancakes the whole time and never cheats....more power to 'em.

thisismynickname2

lolo883 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

Very exciting! Congrats on your choice!

I just had a conversation with my OBGYN before we TTC. She wrote me a script for prenatals and I started taking them. I also stopped drinking when we started TTC because prevention and peace of mind, I guess.

Honestly, in all my reading from WTEWYE to Skinny Bitch: Bun in the Oven (liked this book) to Dr. Google, I've pretty much found that the underlying message is to be really healthy - natural, healthy diet; exercise; enough sleep...All stuff I should be doing.

The only things that have effected how I was living were: no alcohol, no raw meat (I heart sushi and order my steak blue), remembering to take a daily vitamin, not as heavy weight training at the gym, and sleeping on my side versus my stomach or my back. Other than that, I found most of it to be common sense for how I should be living anyway.

But everyone's medical needs are different. I was pretty healthy/sleeping enough/exercising and not taking any prescription meds when I started, so the transition wasn't very hard or complicated. I would just schedule time with your doc and ask a shit ton of questions.

And more power to ya if you can actually maintain that. In my case, hormonal exhaustion made me plop my ass down on the couch for hours at a time and eat nothing but bagels, French toast, and white rice for a solid month.

But baby's nutritional needs are very small at the beginning so the best resources for me were the ones that stressed realism and reassurance!

See, I am worried about being exhausted by pregnancy alone and not being able to have caffeine. I'm a person who "balances" a poor diet with a lot of exercise (I know, I know...). It's very reassuring, thank you!-- to know that doing your best to stay healthy is basically the core of having a healthy pregnancy. 

KatieinBkln

kaos16 said:

thisismynickname said:

So the ANA linked to an article on Newsweek; here you go: http://www.newsweek.com/caffeine-during-pregnancy-nearly-doubles-childhood-obesity-risk-329817

God help me if I have to go caffeine free for 9 months.

sad, sad news. . . . and I say that as a TTC knottie, while drinking my iced latte.  Darn!

This doesn't say whether they controlled for the manner in which the caffeine was administered--a person who drinks coffee-with-skim probably has different eating habits than a person who drinks full-sugar Coke.

I fucking hate pop-sci articles. "Doctor Whosits, who was not involved in the study, has some medical advice for you!"

jenna8984

My friend and I were talking about this while hiking the other day. She was like "So...you said you're taking your temp...what is that, a normal thermometer or like a special one that comes with that book?" I laughed and said dude, we've had many conversations on TK where people thought it was vaginal temp, so you're not alone! And I'm not even charting with the intent to get pregnant tomorrow, I'm just genuinely curious about how regular or irregular my cycle is. So at this point I'm just doing it for fun. Doctor told me prenatals for 3-6 months before, and entire time during, and that's it.

banana468

Honestly, I just tracked my cycles and made sure I was taking a daily prenatal.   I was much more on top of my body for when TTC #2 so I didn't drink a 1/2 a bottle of wine a day when 6 weeks pregnant like I did with #1 (it was Easter and my 30th birthday!).  And you know what - kiddo is OK.

I did give up a lot of caffeine and frankly, I don't think it would have done much for me anyway since my tiredness hit in the afternoon.

I would make sure you're up to date on immunizations, track your cycles so you can see when you're ovulating and when you can expect to see your period.   I'd also have a talk with H about what he can expect.   DH was really understanding but the first trimester throws me down.   I couldn't drink water in the morning or I'd feel sick and by 5 PM, I was no good to anyone and needed a nap every day until I was about 12 weeks.   

thisismynickname2

KatieinBkln said: kaos16 said: thisismynickname said:So the ANA linked to an article on Newsweek; here you go: http://www.newsweek.com/caffeine-during-pregnancy-nearly-doubles-childhood-obesity-risk-329817
God help me if I have to go caffeine free for 9 months.

sad, sad news. . . . and I say that as a TTC knottie, while drinking my iced latte.  Darn!

This doesn't say whether they controlled for the manner in which the caffeine was administered--a person who drinks coffee-with-skim probably has different eating habits than a person who drinks full-sugar Coke.
I fucking hate pop-sci articles. "Doctor Whosits, who was not involved in the study, has some medical advice for you!"

Yeah, context is so important. My college town was known for having poor drinking water. "It causes cancer!" .... If you drank 75 gallons of it a day for years. No joke. Yet the student-run newspaper was always doing stories about it. 

There's so much of that "This causes cancer and that will cause birth defects!" that I just don't know how to wade through all the crap. 

kaos16

banana468 said:

Honestly, I just tracked my cycles and made sure I was taking a daily prenatal.   I was much more on top of my body for when TTC #2 so I didn't drink a 1/2 a bottle of wine a day when 6 weeks pregnant like I did with #1 (it was Easter and my 30th birthday!).  And you know what - kiddo is OK.

I did give up a lot of caffeine and frankly, I don't think it would have done much for me anyway since my tiredness hit in the afternoon.

I would make sure you're up to date on immunizations, track your cycles so you can see when you're ovulating and when you can expect to see your period.   I'd also have a talk with H about what he can expect.   DH was really understanding but the first trimester throws me down.   I couldn't drink water in the morning or I'd feel sick and by 5 PM, I was no good to anyone and needed a nap every day until I was about 12 weeks.   

If that's how she got those eyebrows. . . . i'm doing the exact same thing!!!

thisismynickname2

banana468 said:

Honestly, I just tracked my cycles and made sure I was taking a daily prenatal.   I was much more on top of my body for when TTC #2 so I didn't drink a 1/2 a bottle of wine a day when 6 weeks pregnant like I did with #1 (it was Easter and my 30th birthday!).  And you know what - kiddo is OK.

I did give up a lot of caffeine and frankly, I don't think it would have done much for me anyway since my tiredness hit in the afternoon.

I would make sure you're up to date on immunizations, track your cycles so you can see when you're ovulating and when you can expect to see your period.   I'd also have a talk with H about what he can expect.   DH was really understanding but the first trimester throws me down.   I couldn't drink water in the morning or I'd feel sick and by 5 PM, I was no good to anyone and needed a nap every day until I was about 12 weeks.   

To the bolded, that's what really worries me. Does it impact your job/ will it impact my job? Am I going to need to bring a barf bag on my commute to and from work?  Clearly this is something women do every day and have been since the dawn of time, but geez. I've had a few coworkers be put on bedrest and that's my worst nightmare (being overly dramatic right now, but it's a slow Monday at work). (Clearly there are worse nightmares and realities.) 

theartistformerlyknownas

thisismynickname said:

banana468 said:

Honestly, I just tracked my cycles and made sure I was taking a daily prenatal.   I was much more on top of my body for when TTC #2 so I didn't drink a 1/2 a bottle of wine a day when 6 weeks pregnant like I did with #1 (it was Easter and my 30th birthday!).  And you know what - kiddo is OK.

I did give up a lot of caffeine and frankly, I don't think it would have done much for me anyway since my tiredness hit in the afternoon.

I would make sure you're up to date on immunizations, track your cycles so you can see when you're ovulating and when you can expect to see your period.   I'd also have a talk with H about what he can expect.   DH was really understanding but the first trimester throws me down.   I couldn't drink water in the morning or I'd feel sick and by 5 PM, I was no good to anyone and needed a nap every day until I was about 12 weeks.   

To the bolded, that's what really worries me. Does it impact your job/ will it impact my job? Am I going to need to bring a barf bag on my commute to and from work?  Clearly this is something women do every day and have been since the dawn of time, but geez. I've had a few coworkers be put on bedrest and that's my worst nightmare (being overly dramatic right now, but it's a slow Monday at work). (Clearly there are worse nightmares and realities.) 

Every woman and every pregnancy is different. You just kind of need to relinquish control to your tiny new overlord (which is good preparation for when you have an infant) and figure out what works best for you in that moment. It might change next week and baby went from spewing devilfireheartburn to craving chicken wings. Roll with it.

southernbelle0915

thisismynickname said:

banana468 said:

Honestly, I just tracked my cycles and made sure I was taking a daily prenatal.   I was much more on top of my body for when TTC #2 so I didn't drink a 1/2 a bottle of wine a day when 6 weeks pregnant like I did with #1 (it was Easter and my 30th birthday!).  And you know what - kiddo is OK.

I did give up a lot of caffeine and frankly, I don't think it would have done much for me anyway since my tiredness hit in the afternoon.

I would make sure you're up to date on immunizations, track your cycles so you can see when you're ovulating and when you can expect to see your period.   I'd also have a talk with H about what he can expect.   DH was really understanding but the first trimester throws me down.   I couldn't drink water in the morning or I'd feel sick and by 5 PM, I was no good to anyone and needed a nap every day until I was about 12 weeks.   

To the bolded, that's what really worries me. Does it impact your job/ will it impact my job? Am I going to need to bring a barf bag on my commute to and from work?  Clearly this is something women do every day and have been since the dawn of time, but geez. I've had a few coworkers be put on bedrest and that's my worst nightmare (being overly dramatic right now, but it's a slow Monday at work). (Clearly there are worse nightmares and realities.) 

Just depends on how your body responds. 

I never vomited or had severe morning sickness once, but I was all but falling asleep at my desk at 2:30 every single day until I was about 13-14 weeks. I had to get up, go walk the stairs and run my hands under cold water - just what worked for me. Some don't have fatigue like I did, but they're praising the porcelain 5 times a day. 

FiancB

We're trying in the fall. I ordered up a BBT and some ovulation tests, cheap pregnancy tests, and pee cups. I just finished my first cycle off birth control. It does look like I ovulated, but my luteal phase was kinda short, putting me at risk for miscarriages, so it's a good thing I'm giving it time to clear out of my system. Generally recommended to stop at least 3 months beforehand, 6 if you've been on it for a long time. 

I enjoyed reading The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant. It's pretty short and light. 

Almost done reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I'd say that's pretty essential as well.

Fertilityfriend is really helpful for an app. It ALMOST makes it not necessary to read TCOYF, but it's still helpful (maybe I'm just saying that because I have taken a lot of reproduction classes for school). 

It's a good idea to check your titers. The Great Sperm Race is... odd, but good info, especially if your H is like mine and having a hard time believing that most people won't get pregnant the second they have unprotected sex. 

You are what you ate three months ago, so get in the habit of eating a healthy diet and taking prenatals and fish oil. 

I've been on the bump lately. I don't mind it. It's slow and I'm mostly on Trying to Get Pregnant. People that don't follow board etiquette get flamed out, but it's not unlike what happens here when people try to be pro-PPD. Maybe I'm not where the drama is. 

I'm dreading cutting the caffeine. I already have to cut my prescribed stimulants, so I'm guessing between that and pregnancy brain, I'll be basically useless. 

STARMOON44

Does no one just have sex any more? Take your folic acid, get some sperm all up in there, and see what happens.

If you enjoy learning tons about this process and charting and making it a big thing by all means, but unless you've got some specific concern it's completely fine to just go do the sex thing a whole lot.

jenna8984

STARMOON44 said:

Does no one just have sex any more? Take your folic acid, get some sperm all up in there, and see what happens.

If you enjoy learning tons about this process and charting and making it a big thing by all means, but unless you've got some specific concern it's completely fine to just go do the sex thing a whole lot.

I definitely agree, and like I said I'm just charting because I'm curious to know about my cycle, not necessarily to get pregant the FIRST try or anything like that.

I can't speak for others, but I can say for myself that it is a little different being a little "older". I am early 30's. So I don't exactly feel like I have a few years to just dick around (literally) and see what happens. I'd rather be a slightly proactive so that if if does take a while, I can maybe figure out why and help my doctor see why, and help the process along.

thisismynickname2

jenna8984 said:

STARMOON44 said:

Does no one just have sex any more? Take your folic acid, get some sperm all up in there, and see what happens.

If you enjoy learning tons about this process and charting and making it a big thing by all means, but unless you've got some specific concern it's completely fine to just go do the sex thing a whole lot.

I definitely agree, and like I said I'm just charting because I'm curious to know about my cycle, not necessarily to get pregant the FIRST try or anything like that.

I can't speak for others, but I can say for myself that it is a little different being a little "older". I am early 30's. So I don't exactly feel like I have a few years to just dick around (literally) and see what happens. I'd rather be a slightly proactive so that if if does take a while, I can maybe figure out why and help my doctor see why, and help the process along.

LOL. Right now our plan is to just have a lot of unprotected sex and see what happens. But, also in the early 30's, we've seen folks have surprise babies, we've seen people get pregnant in the first few months or even the first month, we've had friends have miscarriages, and we have friends who have been trying for years and no results. It's a crapshoot. But, if something is out there that is known to hinder fertility, or hinder the growth or viability of a fetus, I'd like to be aware. To be honest with y'all, I had pre-cancer on my cervix and had to have very minor surgery (called LEEP). My doc did tell me that people who have had pre-cancer or actual cancer could be at higher risk of pre-term labor. That's good stuff to know. I have a friend who had LEEP who just had her second baby and had no issues with either pregnancy. Anything could happen; anything could go perfectly fine. 

VulgarGirl

STARMOON44 said:

Does no one just have sex any more? Take your folic acid, get some sperm all up in there, and see what happens.

If you enjoy learning tons about this process and charting and making it a big thing by all means, but unless you've got some specific concern it's completely fine to just go do the sex thing a whole lot.

Yeah we kept just having sex but....still couldn't get her pregnant.

No matter how hard we scissored, or what position I fingered her in, or how many times a night I ate her pussy...still couldn't knock her up.