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falsara

I had the advantage of going to two different High schools and receiving Sex ED at both of them.  

The Department of Defense, military school that I went to while in Japan made you take health for an entire semester as an actual class, separate from PE.  They covered every form of birth control.  Along with the risks and such, plus you had to wear a pregnant suit for a day and you had a fake baby over a weekend.  It was super informative.  We spent a couple weeks on the subject of reproduction. 

At the other school we had 1 hour and half long class, on one day in the middle of the semester.  They only covered abstinence and condoms.  

Out of the two I think the program at the DOD's school was most effective.  Comprehensive knowledge would go much farther in cutting down teen pregnancy rates. 

[Deleted User]

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KatieinBkln

My school district was in a highly conservative town, so the board approved abstinence-only ed. The one thing they allowed was a handout that listed all the different forms of BC. Our health teacher literally passed them out, then said "I am not allowed to answer any questions you have."

It was ridiculous. I learned the VAST majority of what I know about sexuality from college, where I learned about Kinsey and actual female anatomy (guys, the clit isn't just a little button; they've been lying to us all our lives). I was FURIOUS that I was 20 years old and hadn't been educated about my own body. I had already been furious that I hadn't been taught about safe sex or about sexuality in general, but discovering I'd actually been misled about physical facts was the straw that broke the camel's back. 

KatWAG

Illinois is the only state that requires high school students to take PE all 4 years. the only exception to this (at least for my HS) was that one semester during sophomore year, we took health class. My health class was thought by a football coach who blushed whenever he said 'vagina.'

My sex ed came from friends, TV, and movies.

However, my all girls college did host an annual seminar on masturbation which was eye opening.

falsara

pinkrevenge said:

Meh on the Baby. I didn't take a class my teacher wanted me to take because it had that stupid baby. I told her I would take advantage of the Moses laws and walk right over to the police department after school and drop it off with them.
If the police department didn't care for the doll, well, that's on them. I would legally be in the clear.

She didn't like the answer for some reason.

Eh, It was a federal government run school.  The baby may not have been the most effective idea, but I doubt they were willing to branch off too much from the typical sex ed stuff.  

VulgarGirl

So in theory Arizona has comprehensive sex ed. But all my high school taught was...well ya'll saw Mean Girls right? That was basically our sex ed. And then we watched a video about giving birth.

I think we need to start teaching sex ed a lot sooner. Like...kindergarten. And before everyone jumps up my ass about teaching a 5 year old how to put on a condom, it should clearly be age appropriate. First learning about your body parts and their proper names. Learning about puberty. And then by, I'd say jr. high, real actual honest talking about sex, and also learning to use condoms.

And lets get real about our sex ed too, the scientific stuff is awesome, but lets talk about the emotional aspects that can be attached to sex. Lets talk about STIs and unplanned pregnancy. And for the love of fuck actually talk about all opitions regarding dealing with an unplanned pregnancy. In my school saying abortion in class was about the same as telling the teacher to go fuck herself. We did not talk about it. It was not a thing.

Also, student who participate in same sex sexual relations deserve to know how to stay safe. Safe sex when both partner have the same bits, needs to be discussed. We had nothing. Fuck my teacher didn't even know anything. Stop fucking assuming everyone bones oppositie gender people. 

And we also need to discuss masturbation. It's normal, it's healthy, it's not gonna get you knocked up and you won't get herpes from it. But don't do it public cause that's weird.

I really hate the "well they should learn that at home" mentality. Because while maybe their parents should cover it, their parents might not. And what, those kids are forced to be uninformed about their own bodies because they have shitty parents? Or hey, maybe the parents don't know a lot because their school had the same thought. I'm also not crazy about parents getting to opt their kids out of learning about sex ed. I mean, you can't opt out of learning geometry cause your parents will teach you about that at home can you?

I started my period at 9. I learned about getting my period at 12 in school. I started having sex at 14. I learned about not having sex because I'd get pregnant and die at 16. We're waiting way too long to start educating kids about their own fucking bodies. 

dolewhipper

falsara that sounds like an amazing course. I wish more schools would do that!

As far as my schooling went, I went to a public school for the first two years and private Christian for the last two. The public school had one period a year devoted to STDs and different types of birth control. I saw images I can not unsee. I wanted to be placed in a bubble and my bf at the time didn't get any for a week. However, we eventually forgot about it.

The Christian school taught, obviously, 100% abstinence, speaking lies like condoms don't work. 2 girls I graduated with were pregnant that summer.

I personally abstained intercourse until I was engaged (the first time) when I was 19. 

ETA: And I graduated with 36 other students

jenna8984

I agree. I am embarrassed to even say all the things I didn't know until my mid-20's. And even still learning to this day with all the TTC threads/books. And I'm in a liberal state.

KatieinBkln

ALSO! 

One of the most illuminating things I ever heard in college was this: Boys get sexuality education. They discuss arousal (boners), nocturnal emissions, the potential for awkwardness.

Girls? They get reproductive education (at best). Everything we learn is periods, ovaries, fallopian tubes, and GATEKEEPING, because obviously all dudes just wanna pork you and it's your job to prevent that, lest you become pregnant (and you certainly don't want that, do you!). The notion that a girl/young woman might want to have sex is completely glossed over. The baseline is just: here's your parts, here's how they work; it's scary as fuck to think about having a baby when you're 12, so start saying no, all the time, forever.

It is a double-standard that is fucked up on its face, but it also perpetuates the kinds of stereotypes and social norms that harm men and women alike (in the heterosexual sphere--if you were gay/trans in my school you were basically just invisible). How can a young woman be expected to enjoy sex when she's been taught to fear and reject it since 4th grade health? How can a shy young man understand that it's actually okay and normal for him not to want to hound women? Or for any young man to feel okay about approaching a woman when everything he's been taught tells him he's going to have to "wear her down" and be persistent? 

We teach our girls to be scared and our boys to be predators. State-sanctioned rape culture.

VulgarGirl

pinkrevenge said:

Meh on the Baby. I didn't take a class my teacher wanted me to take because it had that stupid baby. I told her I would take advantage of the Moses laws and walk right over to the police department after school and drop it off with them.
If the police department didn't care for the doll, well, that's on them. I would legally be in the clear.

She didn't like the answer for some reason.

Oh god the baby. I never took the class where you got the baby. But one of my friends did and she said the teacher was only making the girls take the baby not the boys. So um...well ya'll know me at this point. I went in and asked her about it and she goes "Generally it's the woman left to care for the baby, this helps girls think through their decisions. Plus all the girls love taking care of a baby! The boys not so much", so I went to the principle with this information and told him I planned on writing an article for the school newspaper about this and what was the administrations official stance on this? Where they supporting this sexist ideal?

She went "on leave" and we had a new teacher and everyone in the class had to take home the baby. Also...I never wrote for the school paper. Totally bluffed that shit. 

Kahlyla

I'm still so grateful for the AWESOME sex ed we received in grade five. All through the year, our teacher kept an ongoing "question jar" in which we could put any questions we had, anonymously. She would then answer them and give a relevant lesson, in addition to giving the regular, comprehensive lessons. I remember learning so many of the things that other teachers tend to gloss over; we'd always learned about forms of protection, STDs, consent, and whatnot, but this teacher answered the questions 11-year-olds really had, like "what does 'erect' mean?" or "what is oral sex?" It was awesome.

Then in grade 7, I remember an intensive week or so on HIV and other STDs with special nurse presenters, and more ongoing discussion. I feel like my entire elementary school experience was filled with sex ed (early on I'm sure it was more focused on consent, respect, "bad" touches vs. good ones, and so on). In high school we did a pretty intensive required sexual health unit in grade nine phys-ed, and health, phys-ed and/or parenting classes after that were electives.

I hope it's as comprehensive at my kids' school now, but either way they'll be getting an ass-ton of lessons here at home.

emmaaa

We had a health class that lasted a day or so in 4th and 5th grade to learn about puberty. They separated girls and boys for this. In middle school, we learned about condoms, STDs, and more about periods. In high school, we learned more in depth on STD's, sexual reproduction organs, and BC options. I think it covered it really well over all.

I also want to add that I think it is extremely important that parents take a role in educating their children as well. If a parent isn't happy about how their school is teaching sex-ed, supplement that at home! 

dolewhipper

OH! Forgot to mention. My friend is 6 months pregnant. I taught her, maybe last month, what and where her labia is. She went to public school. She is 27.

redoryx

I honestly don't remember much from my sex ed class in middle-school. It was part of a semester long health class but I imagine we probably only spent a week or so on sex ed. I do remember it being vaguely somewhat comprehensive -- that is, not just abstinence and we did learn about condoms. But most of what I've learned has been through mostly reading. Lots and lots and lots of reading. Not, like, romance book reading but I guess I just keep myself educated on a wide variety of sex and sexuality/gender related topics. If I'd known that my school offered a human sexuality program earlier than my junior year I probably would have minored in it. 

I also started masturbating when I was, oh, about 13 and when I was 15 or so introduced to Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty erotica series and it's still one of my favorite one handed reads LOL

redheadbride15

I think I was pretty well-educated, but I can't remember if that was from school or from family. It's really very simple, however:

1. Sex is a normal and healthy part of being human.
2. Respect yourself, your body, and your choices, as well as the choices of your partner.
3. Abstinence is the best way to prevent STDs and pregnancy, but if you don't choose it, this is how you use a condom correctly.

ShesSoCold

I took a class my senior year of high school where we got the fake baby. It was "Contemporary Life". First quarter, we planned weddings and talked about relationships. Second quarter, we talked about babies, jobs, taxes and divorce. We got the fake baby for three days. The last day of class we went to the courthouse and sat in on divorce hearings. I loved that class. It was so easy. 

My sexed experience was much like @katwag's. I'm in IL also. I think in fourth grade they separated the boys and girls and talked to us about periods. Then again in fifth. In sixth we went to some education place and dicked around all day when we were supposed to be learning about sex. My freshman year health class was also taught by a football coach and he was not comfortable. Even he looked away when we watched the birth video. 

[Deleted User]

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doeydo

I am very glad about the new Ontario sex ed curriculum and hope it sticks around (morons are protesting against it like "Oh no, don't teach my kids about consent and LGBTQ+ people").  

I was taught about the human body/reproductive system, STI's, vaginal intercourse, and a touch of oral sex.  Everything about LGBTQ+ stuff, consent, etc. all came from me exploring on my own, which takes a long time and not every kid would do so.  Like I honestly just learned about romantic versus sexual orientation about six months ago from tumblr.  It made things make so much more sense to me regarding my sexuality and made me feel like I am not "weird".  

VulgarGirl

My mom started sex-ed with me young. Right around 3. She got me this book called "Where do I come from?" that gave me some awesome basics. And then we got Our Bodies Our Selves. Hell when I was about 11 or 12, we'd watch HBO's Real Sex together, she'd answer any questions I had about what we saw. She even bought me my first Playboy! And then we used it to talk about the way the media portrays women's bodies and how these were not realistic depictions of the female form. 

And when I came out my dad, who had taught me how to use a condom first, went out and got information on how to have safe lesbian sex. He even bought me dental dams.

My parents were good on the sex ed aspect. Maybe a little out there, but at least I feel confident about my body and my sexuality. And I can have an orgasm. And I can talk about having orgasms. And I don't have any STDs.

[Deleted User]

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ShesSoCold

I'm just now realizing how weird and terrible it is that sex ed was taught to me right alongside drugs and alcohol and other things I should never ever do or else I will surely go to jail and/or die. 

VulgarGirl

pinkrevenge said:

show previous quotes

MagicInk said:

pinkrevenge said:

Meh on the Baby. I didn't take a class my teacher wanted me to take because it had that stupid baby. I told her I would take advantage of the Moses laws and walk right over to the police department after school and drop it off with them.
If the police department didn't care for the doll, well, that's on them. I would legally be in the clear.

She didn't like the answer for some reason.

Oh god the baby. I never took the class where you got the baby. But one of my friends did and she said the teacher was only making the girls take the baby not the boys. So um...well ya'll know me at this point. I went in and asked her about it and she goes "Generally it's the woman left to care for the baby, this helps girls think through their decisions. Plus all the girls love taking care of a baby! The boys not so much", so I went to the principle with this information and told him I planned on writing an article for the school newspaper about this and what was the administrations official stance on this? Where they supporting this sexist ideal?

She went "on leave" and we had a new teacher and everyone in the class had to take home the baby. Also...I never wrote for the school paper. Totally bluffed that shit. 

That was fucked up, and of course you've always been a boss.
My issue with the baby is that in principle it's a good idea (this is what parenting is kind of like) but it also assumes that everyone will have kids and no one has access to abortions.

Guys, I have always known where the nearest clinic that performs them is located since the third time I went to third base.

Pink. We do not talk about abortions in school. That is too "controversial".

 I was seriously told that when my teacher said "And if you get pregnant you're going to have to become a parent". I was like "Well not if you have an abortion" and she looked at me and said "That is a controversial statement we will not discuss"...wait for real? We're gonna talk about doing the nasty but NOT cover abortion? That's just too far? Oh ok. Hey ya'll holla at me if you need to know where the nearest clinic is, I do volunteer work there with my mom. 

jenna8984

@magicink Sorry this is unrelated but I almost died yesterday. A high school acquaintance on my FB posted a bouquet of flowers next to her 3 year old daughter and the caption read "Gift from daddy! Because girls get pretty flowers, and boys get to buy them." She also has a 5 year old son whom apparently didn't get flowers because he is on the "gets to buy" side...? So yea...I can see this mom teaching her the exact connotations that @katieinbkln just mentioned.

TrixieJess

pinkrevenge said:

It's slow here, let's talk about sex ed in this country.

There's been a lot of stories in the news about how fucking shit terrible our country is about keeping teens safe because "OMG, SEX, Teens don't do that / won't if we just lie to them!" and I personally can't believe it's 2015 and we're still this stupid about it. In one Texas school A chlamydia outbreak is hitting hard because "abstinence"!  In another, a child was punished and the mother banned from the school because their abstinence-only speaker didn't like being corrected.
In lovely California a judge finally cracked down on the abstinence education in a teen pregnancy "hot spot", and I could literally link to our stupid all day long and all of tomorrow and probably all of the next day.
I, personally, think sex ed should take up an entire damn semester or be it's own class. It should be the absolute latest medical facts, from pregnancy to STDs to all the contraceptives on the market and their REAL stats, to relationships, abuse, consent, LGBT issues and sexuality, masturbation, gender vs sex, the WORKS. I want kids hearing all of it, every last bit.

What say you guys?

I got kicked out of my sex-ed class in secondary school. My own fault, I went to a Catholic School and asked why we still had girls who got pregnant if abstinence worked so well.

FWIW, I was a patient at my local Planned Parenthood (with my parent's blessing) and my parents were very open about sex at home. All of which made a huge difference when it came to things like not allowing guys to take advantage of me and not being afraid of saying no and leaving sketchy situations.

In Ontario, they just revamped their sex-ed program to include consent, LGBTQ information and modules, anal sex, sexting and internet, as well as introducing different topics at different stages such as different families (ie. single moms, single dads, two moms, two dads, mom and dad, grandparents raising grandchildren etc). Unfortunately, there are people who don't think these are good topics to introduce to children at any age. My view is fine, then my kid will be the one on the playground "teaching" your kid, just as I was. I'll make sure he has the proper language to convey it so your child can teach it right back to you.

VulgarGirl

doeydo said:

I am very glad about the new Ontario sex ed curriculum and hope it sticks around (morons are protesting against it like "Oh no, don't teach my kids about consent and LGBTQ+ people").  

I was taught about the human body/reproductive system, STI's, vaginal intercourse, and a touch of oral sex.  Everything about LGBTQ+ stuff, consent, etc. all came from me exploring on my own, which takes a long time and not every kid would do so.  Like I honestly just learned about romantic versus sexual orientation about six months ago from tumblr.  It made things make so much more sense to me regarding my sexuality and made me feel like I am not "weird".  

So...I assume every Canadian school is just like Degrassi (TNG) which I mean is kind of fucked up cause that school had a lot of shit go down. But also they had a really comprehensive sex ed program. I mean they talked about oral sex and using condoms to not get whatever STD Jay was passing around in that seedy van in the ravine. Also do not ever at all go into the ravine. Bad shit happens there.

stefuhknee

I grew up in the NYC public school system and I feel like everything I learned about sex was from my peers. I'm pretty sure we took a health class freshman year of high school and that there were goodie bags of various condoms in the nurses office that students could take home. I do agree with the notion that girls are instilled with a sense of fear about sex and all the terrible things that could happen to them if/when they decide to engage its definitely part of why I lost my virginity a lot later than my friends.

bethsmiles

I honestly don't really remember what sex ed what like at my school. In 5th and 6th grade (I switched schools and the second one did it a year later so I got it twice) we had a day where we learned about going through puberty. I remember thinking it was weird that they separated the boys and girls. 

We had to take a health class in 8th and 10th grade and I know we talked about it at some point in each of those classes but I'm pretty sure we just talked about abstinence. My 8th grade health teacher was a little nuts and decided it was a good idea to tell the whole class about her first time having sex (before she was married *gasp!*) and how traumatizing it was. So yeah, not great sex ed.

[Deleted User]

TrixieJess

MagicInk said:

show previous quotes

I am very glad about the new Ontario sex ed curriculum and hope it sticks around (morons are protesting against it like "Oh no, don't teach my kids about consent and LGBTQ+ people").  

I was taught about the human body/reproductive system, STI's, vaginal intercourse, and a touch of oral sex.  Everything about LGBTQ+ stuff, consent, etc. all came from me exploring on my own, which takes a long time and not every kid would do so.  Like I honestly just learned about romantic versus sexual orientation about six months ago from tumblr.  It made things make so much more sense to me regarding my sexuality and made me feel like I am not "weird".  

So...I assume every Canadian school is just like Degrassi (TNG) which I mean is kind of fucked up cause that school had a lot of shit go down. But also they had a really comprehensive sex ed program. I mean they talked about oral sex and using condoms to not get whatever STD Jay was passing around in that seedy van in the ravine. Also do not ever at all go into the ravine. Bad shit happens there.

In Ontario, the Public system is. The Catholic system is similar to your abstinence only school systems. They aren't allowed to teach about ANY kind of birth control. They do have to teach about LGBTQ now, so that should be interesting...

redoryx

My parents' take on sex ed was=

Mom: when I was about 8 or so she ordered some package from Kotex that came with some stupid little booklet about period and puberty and blah blah and so on that fateful day a year or so later when I came home from a bike ride, she just kind of handed it to me and that was that. 

Dad: When I was I think a senior in high-school maybe even in college tried to have that talk and I just kind of gave him that look that like "Really? You're waiting until now to start this?" 

When I started having sex I took myself to the health clinic at college for my first exam and eventually took myself to Planned Parenthood all on my own for birth control, too.