I'm a Grouchy Diva (slight vent)

lovegood90

So we got an invite to a wedding of some friends-yay! It'll be around an 11 hr drive from us, and apparently the only places to stay are these lake houses that the bride and groom reserved for everyone (it's in a very remote location). That's totally fine.

So we are sharing a lake house with three other couples and two singles. Apparently the place has some bedrooms and couches in the living room. I was told we'd be getting one of the bedrooms no problem, but now that an additional couple is staying with us because of the lack of room, we might have to stay on the couches because BF is too nice to fight it out with people. 

So here are my issues: We are carpooling with people and everyone wants to leave 2 days before, so we'd be spending 3 nights on this couch AND I'd be taking 2.5 days off work for this. Not to mention apparently everything is being split down the middle so we'd be paying the same price that people who get real bedrooms are paying. Also, this wedding is "formal attire" (sigh) and we'd all be sharing a bathroom.

I sound super high maintenance, but sorry- I did the whole "sleep on the couch, the floor, wherever in a shared house" thing in my high school and university days. I'm too old for this shit now- I just want my own bed! With a freaking door! And sorry but I can share 1 bathroom with 10 other people if it's a cottage/camping, but if we're expected to look nice for a "formal" wedding, then really?

I told BF that he needs to draw straws or something instead of just being the "nice guy" and taking the couch. And if we end up with the couch we will drive up ourselves so we only have to stay there 1 day, not 3, AND we negotiate a cheaper price so that people with actual beds pay more. He thinks I'm being kind of a diva and I TOTALLY am. I know I sound like an awful person but, I'm seriously just considering staying home that weekend. I would go through these arrangements if these people were like, in my immediate family or a BFF, but they're not. (Also I'm not even super close to the people we're housing with).

Anyway that was a super long FWP vent. Are you guys more "high maintenance" as you get older too?

thespeshulestsnowflake

lovegood90 said:

So we got an invite to a wedding of some friends-yay! It'll be around an 11 hr drive from us, and apparently the only places to stay are these lake houses that the bride and groom reserved for everyone (it's in a very remote location). That's totally fine.

So we are sharing a lake house with three other couples and two singles. Apparently the place has some bedrooms and couches in the living room. I was told we'd be getting one of the bedrooms no problem, but now that an additional couple is staying with us because of the lack of room, we might have to stay on the couches because BF is too nice to fight it out with people. 

So here are my issues: We are carpooling with people and everyone wants to leave 2 days before, so we'd be spending 3 nights on this couch AND I'd be taking 2.5 days off work for this. Not to mention apparently everything is being split down the middle so we'd be paying the same price that people who get real bedrooms are paying. Also, this wedding is "formal attire" (sigh) and we'd all be sharing a bathroom.

I sound super high maintenance, but sorry- I did the whole "sleep on the couch, the floor, wherever in a shared house" thing in my high school and university days. I'm too old for this shit now- I just want my own bed! With a freaking door! And sorry but I can share 1 bathroom with 10 other people if it's a cottage/camping, but if we're expected to look nice for a "formal" wedding, then really?

I told BF that he needs to draw straws or something instead of just being the "nice guy" and taking the couch. And if we end up with the couch we will drive up ourselves so we only have to stay there 1 day, not 3, AND we negotiate a cheaper price so that people with actual beds pay more. He thinks I'm being kind of a diva and I TOTALLY am. I know I sound like an awful person but, I'm seriously just considering staying home that weekend. I would go through these arrangements if these people were like, in my immediate family or a BFF, but they're not. (Also I'm not even super close to the people we're housing with).

Anyway that was a super long FWP vent. Are you guys more "high maintenance" as you get older too?

I would put my foot down. Seriously. If you were promised a bedroom, you should get a bedroom. Or pay less money. A couch does not equal a bedroom and thus should not be an equal payment as such.

redoryx

I've always been pretty high-maintenance about that sort of thin but a lot of that is being an introvert and getting overwhelmed by too much social interaction so mama here needs a damn door to close every once in awhile to ignore everyone else. But now that I'm in my 30s, yes, it's definitely more of a "I'm too old for this shit."

mikenberger

I wouldn't consider myself high maintenance. But I do think since I have a job, retirement account, insurance and a car that is fully insured, I find that I'm an "adult?" ish? And should stop doing some of the shit I did in college. Including: sleeping on couches, floors or other surfaces that would not conventionally be considered a bed. Not including: excessive amounts of booze. 

But seriously, the whole thing sounds like a clusterfuck. No matter what your maintenance level.

simcal18

lovegood90 said:

So we got an invite to a wedding of some friends-yay! It'll be around an 11 hr drive from us, and apparently the only places to stay are these lake houses that the bride and groom reserved for everyone (it's in a very remote location). That's totally fine.

So we are sharing a lake house with three other couples and two singles. Apparently the place has some bedrooms and couches in the living room. I was told we'd be getting one of the bedrooms no problem, but now that an additional couple is staying with us because of the lack of room, we might have to stay on the couches because BF is too nice to fight it out with people. 

So here are my issues: We are carpooling with people and everyone wants to leave 2 days before, so we'd be spending 3 nights on this couch AND I'd be taking 2.5 days off work for this. Not to mention apparently everything is being split down the middle so we'd be paying the same price that people who get real bedrooms are paying. Also, this wedding is "formal attire" (sigh) and we'd all be sharing a bathroom.

I sound super high maintenance, but sorry- I did the whole "sleep on the couch, the floor, wherever in a shared house" thing in my high school and university days. I'm too old for this shit now- I just want my own bed! With a freaking door! And sorry but I can share 1 bathroom with 10 other people if it's a cottage/camping, but if we're expected to look nice for a "formal" wedding, then really?

I told BF that he needs to draw straws or something instead of just being the "nice guy" and taking the couch. And if we end up with the couch we will drive up ourselves so we only have to stay there 1 day, not 3, AND we negotiate a cheaper price so that people with actual beds pay more. He thinks I'm being kind of a diva and I TOTALLY am. I know I sound like an awful person but, I'm seriously just considering staying home that weekend. I would go through these arrangements if these people were like, in my immediate family or a BFF, but they're not. (Also I'm not even super close to the people we're housing with).

Anyway that was a super long FWP vent. Are you guys more "high maintenance" as you get older too?

Ugggh.  My sympathy.  I have absolutely gotten more high-maintenance as I've gotten older.  The jam-into-a-room, sleep-on-the-floor-of-a-cheap-motel crap that I did when I was 22 just does not fly a decade later.  My standards for accommodations and comfort have definitely changed as I've gotten older, my income has increased, and my back has started to give out on me at the ripe old age of my early 30s.  #sorrynotsorry

As for this whole wedding--the entire plan sounds ridiculous to me.  It is never appropriate to dictate attire for the wedding.  It is even less appropriate to dictate "formal attire" when you are making people stay in freaking remote lake houses.  I'd be looking for my own accommodations with my own bathroom, even if I had to stay further away from the wedding, or I'd only be spending one night and certainly not three, even if FI and I got our own bed.  I don't think you're being picky at all.

lyndausvi

I would NOT even draw straws for a bed.  I either get a real bed or I'm not coming.      If that makes me a bitch, so be it.       Maybe for one night I would deal and that is a big maybe.  3 nights?  Fuck no.

lovegood90

lyndausvi said:

I would NOT even draw straws for a bed.  I either get a real bed or I'm not coming.      If that makes me a bitch, so be it.       Maybe for one night I would deal and that is a big maybe.  3 nights?  Fuck no.

Yeah, totally- I told him he needs to draw straws before we send in our RSVPs because if we get the couch that changes everything.

@redoryx - exactly how I feel! I'm 25 but I feel SO over the "sleep on the floor" days that I was totally cool with, like, 2 years ago haha. 

kaitlynmichelle

No way would I do that. I would hate those sleeping arrangements, let alone sharing a bathroom with so many people.

banana468

Fuuuuuuuuck that.   I work way too hard to pay to sleep on a couch.     I would really need to love these people (like give you my kidney kind of love) to sleep on the couch and I certainly wouldn't do it for multiple days and think that I spend the same as other couples.

Yeah, my DH would probably call me a diva for saying that too.   But this diva is going to be one angry diva at the wedding if I don't sleep well. 

kvruns

yuck.  I'd be one night and done.....if even that. How did this even come about - did BF learn that another couple was coming and he raised his hand and said here have our bedroom, I love couches? I'm mostly kidding about that but accommodation change would also mean my desire to come would change.

and one bathroom for 10 people?  Umm what.

luckya23

I wouldn't take 2.5 days vacation or drive 11 hours for someone I'm not close to, I wouldn't stay in any sort of remote lake house (and certainly not camp), I wouldn't sleep on a couch, or share a bathroom with 10 people.  $20 says there isn't even enough hot water for that many people to get ready for the wedding.

I don't care if that makes me a diva.

lovegood90

kvruns said:

yuck.  I'd be one night and done.....if even that. How did this even come about - did BF learn that another couple was coming and he raised his hand and said here have our bedroom, I love couches? I'm mostly kidding about that but accommodation change would also mean my desire to come would change.

and one bathroom for 10 people?  Umm what.

No, he found out when talking to his friends that another couple was staying with our group and I guess there was some joking discussions between everyone like, "haha well looks like one couple will have to stay on the couch." And when BF relayed this info to me it was as though it was no big deal if we "end up" on the couch.

And that's when I was all "funny joke sweetie- I'm not giving up close to 3 vacation days and hundreds of dollars on gas/accommodations/gift to sleep on a fucking COUCH. Now you go back and draw some fucking straws."

[Deleted User]

Uh yeah that sounds like a cluster...

And sorry but I'd say the singles should get couches before a couple... Or at least do a rotation where you'd have to do couches only 1 night. Sounds like a mess!

lovegood90

AlisonM23 said:

Uh yeah that sounds like a cluster...

And sorry but I'd say the singles should get couches before a couple... Or at least do a rotation where you'd have to do couches only 1 night. Sounds like a mess!

Yeah, the singles already have the other couches. A rotation is a good idea though if it comes down to that.

redoryx

Is there any chance they are sofa beds? 

afox007

I don't think this should even come down to drawing straws. If this new couple was the last to join the party they should get the couch by default.

I won't lie I'm a brat. If I was there first I have dibs, I used to stay at my grandparents house for a few weeks each summer. The time my bio dad and step mom showed up halfway through my trip I refused to give up my bed. I had already been there over a week I was set up, just because you decided to stop off for the night does not mean my plans change. 

lovegood90

redoryx said:

Is there any chance they are sofa beds? 

Unfortunately nope. Even if they were, that shit is uncomfortable! Also I think my biggest hang-up  is the lack of privacy- I don't want to wake up in the middle of a living room where everyone can see my greasy makeup-less face. Especially when 3/4 of the people I'm staying with I don't even know that well.

redoryx

lovegood90 said:

redoryx said:

Is there any chance they are sofa beds? 

Unfortunately nope. Even if they were, that shit is uncomfortable! Also I think my biggest hang-up  is the lack of privacy- I don't want to wake up in the middle of a living room where everyone can see my greasy makeup-less face. Especially when 3/4 of the people I'm staying with I don't even know that well.

Oh, I totally agree but at least you're not gonna be all squeezed on a couch. 

But yes, the lack of privacy would be my biggest issue. Especially since you were originally told you'd be getting a bedroom and now are not.

bethsmiles

I wouldn't really feel like going anymore if I were you. Sharing a bathroom while trying to get ready for a wedding sounds like a disaster, especially since I'd be in full on bitch mode already from having to sleep on the damn couch.

banana468

lovegood90 said:

AlisonM23 said:

Uh yeah that sounds like a cluster...

And sorry but I'd say the singles should get couches before a couple... Or at least do a rotation where you'd have to do couches only 1 night. Sounds like a mess!

Yeah, the singles already have the other couches. A rotation is a good idea though if it comes down to that.

If there was a need to do a couch rotation then I can tell you it could continue at home.   And I can tell you exactly who would be on the couch and on what he could rotate...

kvruns

are there only 10 guests at this wedding or is everyone else local?

yogapants

There is no way I'd share a single bathroom between 10 people for three nights, bed or not. Not happening.

lovegood90

kvruns said:

are there only 10 guests at this wedding or is everyone else local?

I think there are around 90 guests, and they're all either local or staying at the other lake houses. But our group of friends we're sharing with are the only other people we'll really know there.

banana468

lovegood90 said:

kvruns said:

are there only 10 guests at this wedding or is everyone else local?

I think there are around 90 guests, and they're all either local or staying at the other lake houses. But our group of friends we're sharing with are the only other people we'll really know there.

All of you staying in one house with one bathroom is a great way to reduce your group of friends. 

sarahufl

oh, hell to the no. I make too much money and am way too old to play Sleeping On The Couch Roulette.

I don't go if I don't get a bed.

KatieinBkln

I don't think it's high maintenance to want to sleep in a bed. That you were promised.

Also, I'm not sure how the "we'll just split it down the middle!" arrangement came about. That is some bullshit. Beds cost more than couches.

Any chance you guys can find your own accommodations elsewhere? It's not like the price will be any different--new couple comes in, you and your BF go out. Price stays the same, you keep your sanity.

lovegood90

KatieinBkln said:

I don't think it's high maintenance to want to sleep in a bed. That you were promised.

Also, I'm not sure how the "we'll just split it down the middle!" arrangement came about. That is some bullshit. Beds cost more than couches.

Any chance you guys can find your own accommodations elsewhere? It's not like the price will be any different--new couple comes in, you and your BF go out. Price stays the same, you keep your sanity.

Apparently there are no other places to stay But I think I'll do my own research on that this week and not take people's word for it...

simcal18

lovegood90 said:

KatieinBkln said:

I don't think it's high maintenance to want to sleep in a bed. That you were promised.

Also, I'm not sure how the "we'll just split it down the middle!" arrangement came about. That is some bullshit. Beds cost more than couches.

Any chance you guys can find your own accommodations elsewhere? It's not like the price will be any different--new couple comes in, you and your BF go out. Price stays the same, you keep your sanity.

Apparently there are no other places to stay But I think I'll do my own research on that this week and not take people's word for it...

It is literally impossible that there are no other places to stay.  There are millions of places to stay all over the world.  These places may not be convenient to the wedding, or cheap.  But there must be some place you can rent an actual bed and your own bathroom that is closer to the wedding than the 11 hours away that you are now.

ETA:  Is this one of those weddings where the couple is all "ooooh, I know!  Let's gather all of our friends and family in the middle of the woods miles from nowhere and camp out together!  It'll be so FUN!!!!!  The lack of cell phone service means everyone will be totally focused on our wedding, and nobody will mind trying to get all glammed up in 40 year old teeny tiny showers with terrible water pressure! It will be so great that we should make it a four day event because everyone LOVES US SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!"  Because I HATE those weddings.  We have one coming up in September and I am dreading it with the fire of a thousand burning suns.

sassercake12

I would absolutely find other accommodations or just not go. That's way too much effort for people you're "eh" about. 

mrsdee15

Yep, add me to the "finding other accommodations or not going" camp.  And that is BS that your bedroom may have gotten taken by another couple.  Just a big nope all around on this.

Is something like Air B&B a possibility?  Maybe there are privately-owned cabins or some such around.

ShesSoCold

Shit, I wouldn't be happy about sharing a house/bathroom with that many people even with a bedroom. But I sure as fuck wouldn't be sleeping on any couch like that. 

Call me mega diva.