So for all of you who have gone off HCB, what was your next step? We're 99% sure we don't want kids, but we're going to wait for J to get a vasectomy for another few years, just in case things change. I'm getting a bit tired of having my emotions at low static, having no sex drive, and being 20lbs overweight without being able to get rid of it.
Condoms aren't ideal, I'm not a fan of IUDs... are any of you charting/temping to PREVENT pregnancy?
We just use condoms. Frankly, they're what, like 99.9% effective when used properly (properly being key)? I've had sex without condoms and didn't think it was so earth shattering that I'd really want to never use condoms again. I know plenty of people that use HBC so that they don't have to use condoms, but frankly, the 60 second break in action for DH to put one on is definitely no big deal. Certainly sounds like less of a hassle than charting.
ETA: and BY THE WAY, can we talk about the fact that all this pregnancy prevention crap always falls on the women? Taking hormones, charting fertility? WTF? Heck yeah I'll make my man wear a damn condom. It's the least he can do if I have to carry a baby for 9 months and have my body completely change forever. KTHX.
So for all of you who have gone off HCB, what was your next step? We're 99% sure we don't want kids, but we're going to wait for J to get a vasectomy for another few years, just in case things change. I'm getting a bit tired of having my emotions at low static, having no sex drive, and being 20lbs overweight without being able to get rid of it.
Condoms aren't ideal, I'm not a fan of IUDs... are any of you charting/temping to PREVENT pregnancy?
We just use condoms. Frankly, they're what, like 99.9% effective when used properly (properly being key)? I've had sex without condoms and didn't think it was so earth shattering that I'd really want to never use condoms again. I know plenty of people that use HBC so that they don't have to use condoms, but frankly, the 60 second break in action for DH to put one on is definitely no big deal. Certainly sounds like less of a hassle than charting.
ETA: and BY THE WAY, can we talk about the fact that all this pregnancy prevention crap always falls on the women? Taking hormones, charting fertility? WTF? Heck yeah I'll make my man wear a damn condom. It's the least he can do if I have to carry a baby for 9 months and have my body completely change forever. KTHX.
You're close-ish. They're 98% effective. There's still a pretty solid failure rate. And I know a few babies that are now in HS thanks to condom failure / issues.
Didn't you see Friends? They should put that on the box!!
So for all of you who have gone off HCB, what was your next step? We're 99% sure we don't want kids, but we're going to wait for J to get a vasectomy for another few years, just in case things change. I'm getting a bit tired of having my emotions at low static, having no sex drive, and being 20lbs overweight without being able to get rid of it.
Condoms aren't ideal, I'm not a fan of IUDs... are any of you charting/temping to PREVENT pregnancy?
We just use condoms. Frankly, they're what, like 99.9% effective when used properly (properly being key)? I've had sex without condoms and didn't think it was so earth shattering that I'd really want to never use condoms again. I know plenty of people that use HBC so that they don't have to use condoms, but frankly, the 60 second break in action for DH to put one on is definitely no big deal. Certainly sounds like less of a hassle than charting.
ETA: and BY THE WAY, can we talk about the fact that all this pregnancy prevention crap always falls on the women? Taking hormones, charting fertility? WTF? Heck yeah I'll make my man wear a damn condom. It's the least he can do if I have to carry a baby for 9 months and have my body completely change forever. KTHX.
Taking Charge Of Your Fertility talks about this a lot and you're so right- how is it fair that there are hardly any forms of BC for men, who are fertile 365 days a year, whereas women are only fertile a few days out of every month? The injustice is staggering...
Can't get with you about the condoms though. I find them to be really uncomfortable and chaffing, and I've tried many different brands.
I switched to a copper IUD (I'm on number 2 now), which I don't mind now that it's in. DH uses condoms too, when I'm near the middle of my cycle (I don't really chart, but just have an idea of when are not so safe days based on my period).
DH did offer to get snipped, even before we got married, but we wanted some options if we did ever change our minds (hasn't happened yet)
Hey guys, I just want to say something. I read this over lunch today and I'm going (back to) the doctor on Thursday. I've been on HBC since before I was sexually active (something about bleeding myself into anemia and having to skip class once a month because I was so physically ill). and I really haven't known any different. But I remember, you know, having a sex drive in high school. And I haven't had much of one and it's gotten worse, and worse, and worse. Basically my entire adult life, the obgyn was the person you went to once a year unless you were pregnant, couldn't get pregnant, or were dying from a ob related disease. But you guys have inspired me! I have options! So F not having a sex drive, I'm going to the doctor on Thursday and I'm going to keep going back until I find something that works.
But on that note, anything I should bring or have thought about before I go? Goals are no babies, plenty of urge to try and fail to make babies, and not being so sick from my cycle that I am having to call in sick [work while being miserable] on a regular basis (kind of in a field where you don't get out of work unless you are literally dying....). Bonus points for also not being regularly depressed (I briefly dealt with pretty bad PMDD). I haven't done any tracking of my periods because I was pretty regular on the pill and then the nuvaring (which I switched to when the birth control part of HBC became more important), but I've been reeeeally irregular for the past few months since my most recent obgyn (moved a lot) had me try having a nuvaring in continuously.
Hey guys, I just want to say something. I read this over lunch today and I'm going (back to) the doctor on Thursday. I've been on HBC since before I was sexually active (something about bleeding myself into anemia and having to skip class once a month because I was so physically ill). and I really haven't known any different. But I remember, you know, having a sex drive in high school. And I haven't had much of one and it's gotten worse, and worse, and worse. Basically my entire adult life, the obgyn was the person you went to once a year unless you were pregnant, couldn't get pregnant, or were dying from a ob related disease. But you guys have inspired me! I have options! So F not having a sex drive, I'm going to the doctor on Thursday and I'm going to keep going back until I find something that works.
But on that note, anything I should bring or have thought about before I go? Goals are no babies, plenty of urge to try and fail to make babies, and not being so sick from my cycle that I am having to call in sick [work while being miserable] on a regular basis (kind of in a field where you don't get out of work unless you are literally dying....). Bonus points for also not being regularly depressed (I briefly dealt with pretty bad PMDD). I haven't done any tracking of my periods because I was pretty regular on the pill and then the nuvaring (which I switched to when the birth control part of HBC became more important), but I've been reeeeally irregular for the past few months since my most recent obgyn (moved a lot) had me try having a nuvaring in continuously.
Yay! I love to see women making the decision not to just live with birth control that's not working for them. It's 2015 and for crying out loud and we should be able to have regular sex and not get pregnant without having to suffer from horrible mood swings from hormones, crippling pain from abdominal irritation, and/or walking around in a constant state of zombie-like fogginess.
You have options. The fact that you had severe and irregular periods as a teen doesn't necessarily mean you have to be on hormonal birth control- often times these things work themselves out as women move past puberty and everything sort of settles down. Even if you do need a hormonal option to keep your bleeding in check, different types of BC have different types and amounts of hormones. I believe that IUDs and the like tend to have the least, whereas the Pill has the most.
The first question that comes to mind for me is if you tend to have bad cramps and digestive issues, on or off the Pill? One option that was really appealing to me was the copper (non-hormonal) IUD- none of the negative side effects of hormonal birth control, which is obviously what I was going for with my decisions to get off the Pill. However, I ultimately decided to go with charting and temping over the copper IUD because the latter can exacerbate those conditions if you are prone to them already. Just something to consider if you're interested in going the non-hormonal route.
Finally, I do want to say that at some point we have to accept that there is probably going to be SOME unpleasant aspect of bearing the burden of womanhood. Many women stay on the Pill despite some emotional drawbacks because they don't want to deal with the messiness of a "real", heavy period. That's a perfectly valid route to take. The point is, chances are there is going to be something gross, painful, unpleasant, or difficult about every method including no method.
Okay that is my novel on the subject. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!
I don't use HBC and never have. We use the diaphragm which is actually a pretty solid option if you use it properly. Almost three years and no babies yet! My mom also used it with perfect success as well as other members of my family.
I considered HBC but I just did not want to risk it messing me up. I know several people who have gained quite a bit of weight while on it. I also know someone who almost ruined her marriage from the mood swings - she eventually got off it. I know others who really like HBC, but for me, it just wasn't worth the risk.
Additionally, I have about as good a period as a woman can get. Regular, about 33 days apart. No cramps except mild discomfort the day before and day of, which is actually kind of nice so I knew exactly when it's coming. And no PMS to speak of.
I also considered the NFP route and read Taking Charge. It's a great book, but honestly, it sounded way too easy to mess up. Wake up to late or stay up to late, can't tell whether the mucus is slippery or sticky, can't tell how your cervix feels. I was too worried about it being subjective.
I think TCOYF is an interesting read, and I'd love to be all charting and temping and know when I'm fertile, but for people who have irregular sleep patterns (I work night shift) and truly irregular periods, it's not so helpful.
I vote for the IUD- I've had both the hormonal and nonhormonal one- no babies for the last 6+ years! and will have it again a heart beat after we stop TTC.
I think TCOYF is an interesting read, and I'd love to be all charting and temping and know when I'm fertile, but for people who have irregular sleep patterns (I work night shift) and truly irregular periods, it's not so helpful.
I vote for the IUD- I've had both the hormonal and nonhormonal one- no babies for the last 6+ years! and will have it again a heart beat after we stop TTC.
There are other methods that don't involve the need for a regular sleep pattern. One actually uses the CBE Fertility monitor and algorithms.
Be careful w/ the IUD. You can still get pregnant on them (a mom on my local chat board is currently 22 weeks pregnant and conceived with an IUD) and even the non hormonal kind can perforate your uterus.
Just wanted to say that if anyone is interested in NFP at all, I find the Marquette method much easier than charting my cervical fluid. It uses the Clear Blue Easy monitor to help determine when you're fertile (we abstain when fertile, but you could use a condom or something if that's what you wanted). Then of course it makes it all the easier if you ever decide to TTC. I didn't want HBC or an IUD in my body. Just throwing it out there as an option for anyone who was interested in NFP, but worried about misinterpreting their signs. As long as you follow the protocol, there's little user error.
I think TCOYF is an interesting read, and I'd love to be all charting and temping and know when I'm fertile, but for people who have irregular sleep patterns (I work night shift) and truly irregular periods, it's not so helpful.
I vote for the IUD- I've had both the hormonal and nonhormonal one- no babies for the last 6+ years! and will have it again a heart beat after we stop TTC.
There are other methods that don't involve the need for a regular sleep pattern. One actually uses the CBE Fertility monitor and algorithms.
Be careful w/ the IUD. You can still get pregnant on them (a mom on my local chat board is currently 22 weeks pregnant and conceived with an IUD) and even the non hormonal kind can perforate your uterus.
Yeah I've had the IUD for a long time and no issues. And my dr currently has a 0% pregnancy rate from all her pts on the IUD. And it's the most effective method of BC out there other than abstinence so I'm good with my choice. A lot of ppls' fears stem from the old IUD from the 70s that has since been revamped and fixed for a lot of the issues. Obviously every form of BC has risks.
I'll look into the CBE fertility, though. Thanks.
I think TCOYF is an interesting read, and I'd love to be all charting and temping and know when I'm fertile, but for people who have irregular sleep patterns (I work night shift) and truly irregular periods, it's not so helpful.
I vote for the IUD- I've had both the hormonal and nonhormonal one- no babies for the last 6+ years! and will have it again a heart beat after we stop TTC.
There are other methods that don't involve the need for a regular sleep pattern. One actually uses the CBE Fertility monitor and algorithms.
Be careful w/ the IUD. You can still get pregnant on them (a mom on my local chat board is currently 22 weeks pregnant and conceived with an IUD) and even the non hormonal kind can perforate your uterus.
Yeah I've had the IUD for a long time and no issues. And my dr currently has a 0% pregnancy rate from all her pts on the IUD. And it's the most effective method of BC out there other than abstinence so I'm good with my choice. A lot of ppls' fears stem from the old IUD from the 70s that has since been revamped and fixed for a lot of the issues. Obviously every form of BC has risks.
I'll look into the CBE fertility, though. Thanks.
YW. FWIW, the mom that is now expecting had the IUD for years as well. I know that they're very reliable but when they go bad it's ugly.
The CBE is the method described above called Marquette.
Hi all. I'm a lurker on this forum but this topic really interested me and now I'm so inspired. I'm turning 40 next week and getting married (first marriage) next May. FI and I would like to start TTC right after the wedding and I'm super anxious about how difficult that might be. I've been on HBC for so long and I'm tempted to go off of it soon but don't want to get pregnant immediately. Taking Charge of Your Fertility is in my Amazon cart and I have my annual appt with my gyn next week. It's going to be more of a strategic meeting than a medical exam.
Just wanted to say thank you for sharing some options and inspiring me to think outside the pill.
Hi all. I'm a lurker on this forum but this topic really interested me and now I'm so inspired. I'm turning 40 next week and getting married (first marriage) next May. FI and I would like to start TTC right after the wedding and I'm super anxious about how difficult that might be. I've been on HBC for so long and I'm tempted to go off of it soon but don't want to get pregnant immediately. Taking Charge of Your Fertility is in my Amazon cart and I have my annual appt with my gyn next week. It's going to be more of a strategic meeting than a medical exam.
Just wanted to say thank you for sharing some options and inspiring me to think outside the pill.
Yaaaaay more converts! Lol. FYI you can get pregnant within one month of stopping BCP, so don't get off it unless you are ready. On the other hand, the reality is you only have a limited number of eggs left so personally I would really weigh whatever reasons you have for holding off (feel free to share here or not!) against the fact that you are getting towards the end of your fertile life phase (please don't take that as insulting or scary- you could still have years left! you just can't know for sure).
What charting and temping offers in terms of pregnancy prevention is great IMO but still not the right choice for everyone... what it offers in terms of pregnancy achievement, on the other hand, is pretty much incontrovertibly the best method for getting results.
Just wanted to let you know- since you are over 35 you would be considered to struggling with infertility if you try for six months and do not get pregnant (as opposed to under 35 and it's a year). As much as you can, don't stress out- but if you try for a solid six months without getting pregnant I would advise immediately getting yourself to see an RE (not an OBGYN) since you don't have time to waste (and I hope you don't take that as me being rude!).
For whoever said they currently have an IUD or had one and are now TTC, does that mean it's a myth that you shouldn't get an IUD until after you've had kids? I'm on HBC and have horrendous PMDD, gained weight, etc. I would love to go off it, but other than condoms I was always convinced I didn't have much of a choice.
@themosthappy91 Thank you. Obviously you are not being rude, those are facts. The only reason I wouldn't want to get pregnant right away is the wedding next May. If there isn't an advantage to stopping the pill before I want to conceive I guess there is not reason to subject myself to possible side effects before hand, right? Please forgive my ignorance on this subject and thank you again for the advice and supportive words.
For whoever said they currently have an IUD or had one and are now TTC, does that mean it's a myth that you shouldn't get an IUD until after you've had kids? I'm on HBC and have horrendous PMDD, gained weight, etc. I would love to go off it, but other than condoms I was always convinced I didn't have much of a choice.
Total myth. Lots of women have them pre-babies. For some it may be easier to insert post-vaginal birth but you can absolutely get an IUD before babies.
For whoever said they currently have an IUD or had one and are now TTC, does that mean it's a myth that you shouldn't get an IUD until after you've had kids? I'm on HBC and have horrendous PMDD, gained weight, etc. I would love to go off it, but other than condoms I was always convinced I didn't have much of a choice.
The risks of IUDs are often overstated and the newer ones are quite safe. That being said it's really important to have a comprehensive conversation with your GYN about them.
Personally, H and I have always used condoms for contraception. I don't like the hassle of taking a pill every day and didn't feel like my contraceptive needs were long-term enough for an IUD. Plus the condoms slow him down so I get to have an orgasm like 99% of the time - BONUS!!! Right now we're sort of using the rhythm method though (condoms only when I'm ovulating - this is easy for me because my cycles are really, really regular). I am fully aware that this is a crummy method but while we're not actively TTC until later in the year we both feel like it would be perfectly fine if it happened before then (I'm 37 and he's 40, so we know we don't have all the time in the world).
I was once looking for more permanent HBC (I was already on the monthly Nuvaring but wanted something that lasted 3 months or more). My OBGYN advised not to go on the IUD because she doesn't recommend them to women who haven't had kids yet. So, that's one doc's thoughts on it.
Also, I tried the shot, whatever that's called. One of the side effects of the shot (and also IUDs, I hear) is "spotting." HAH. More like a 3 month long period. It sucked! It sure worked as birth control because I didn't even want to have sex. I know not everyone reacts the same way to these things, but damn, it really sucked.
I was once looking for more permanent HBC (I was already on the monthly Nuvaring but wanted something that lasted 3 months or more). My OBGYN advised not to go on the IUD because she doesn't recommend them to women who haven't had kids yet. So, that's one doc's thoughts on it.
Also, I tried the shot, whatever that's called. One of the side effects of the shot (and also IUDs, I hear) is "spotting." HAH. More like a 3 month long period. It sucked! It sure worked as birth control because I didn't even want to have sex. I know not everyone reacts the same way to these things, but damn, it really sucked.
My doctor also said the same. I feel like this really depends on the doc but a large number do not advocate them.
I did have a friend whose doc was down with giving her an IUD but when she went to get it put in they just couldn't make it fit, so they had to scrap that plan. No harm done though- if you've got small lady parts it just might not happen.
For whoever said they currently have an IUD or had one and are now TTC, does that mean it's a myth that you shouldn't get an IUD until after you've had kids? I'm on HBC and have horrendous PMDD, gained weight, etc. I would love to go off it, but other than condoms I was always convinced I didn't have much of a choice.
Some Dr.'s won't put them in if you haven't had kids. Mine didn't even bring it up. She said it just hurts more since your cervix isn't used to getting pushed around and poked. And since you haven't been through labour, it'll hurt more (or you just won't be used to it I guess). I haven't had kids and don't plan on them at this rate.
Yeah there's no real reason to not get an IUD before having kids other than it supposedly hurts more. I just took 2 Advil and called it a day. Went home and laid on the couch that evening. Worth it.
My dr actually is involved in a program to decrease the number of teen pregnancies on the south side of chicago and they give IUDs out to all the girls she sees that want to prevent pregnancy bc it's the most foolproof option out there of BC. Plenty of research shows that and for me, a few hours of discomfort after insertion beats the hell out of an unplanned pregnancy.
Yeah there's no real reason to not get an IUD before having kids other than it supposedly hurts more. I just took 2 Advil and called it a day. Went home and laid on the couch that evening. Worth it.
My dr actually is involved in a program to decrease the number of teen pregnancies on the south side of chicago and they give IUDs out to all the girls she sees that want to prevent pregnancy bc it's the most foolproof option out there of BC. Plenty of research shows that and for me, a few hours of discomfort after insertion beats the hell out of an unplanned pregnancy.
Seriously! I mean if it's the fact it hurts more, I'm pretty sure having a baby hurts more than an IUD. I think if someone really wants an IUD and they haven't had children, than they need to shop around for a doctor that will do it.
Obviously this is easier for some people than others depending on what area you live in. (I live in Boston where there is a hospital in every neighborhood).
I saw a doctor who didn't want to give IUDs to women who hadn't had babies. He didn't really have much of a reason. My current doctor had no problem but warned me that it might hurt. It did definitely hurt but it was totally 100% worth it.
From the research I did, there is no medical reason (other than the pain possibility) not to have an IUD if you haven't had kids. But I'm not a doctor so don't listen to me. Ask yours.
There's even one (Skyla) aimed at women who haven't given birth. It's the same cocktail as Mirena, the most popular hormonal IUD, except smaller. Supposedly less painful to insert and lasts 3 years instead of 5. The dose is also lower so some people handle it better, but the downside is you're less likely to stop having periods altogether.
Keep in mind that if you don't like the hormonal affects of the pill then the Mirena isn't a great idea. That's like swapping the pill for nuvaring.
....different hormones. Estrogen vs progesterone, and delivery is more targeted because it's intra-uterine. Looks like I'm about to try it if the insurance pans out. Yikes.
Keep in mind that if you don't like the hormonal affects of the pill then the Mirena isn't a great idea. That's like swapping the pill for nuvaring.
....different hormones. Estrogen vs progesterone, and delivery is more targeted because it's intra-uterine. Looks like I'm about to try it if the insurance pans out. Yikes.
OK that's fine. My point is simply that for those looking for a hormone-free option, Mirena isn't it.
Right. They do make hormone free IUDs. I have a friend that went through just about every hormone option there was, to terrible effect, and that's what she ended up with. Point is, could be "hormones" in general affecting you negatively, or estrogen in particular.
Re: Going Off Birth Control Pill
But on that note, anything I should bring or have thought about before I go? Goals are no babies, plenty of urge to try and fail to make babies, and not being so sick from my cycle that I am having to call in sick [work while being miserable] on a regular basis (kind of in a field where you don't get out of work unless you are literally dying....). Bonus points for also not being regularly depressed (I briefly dealt with pretty bad PMDD). I haven't done any tracking of my periods because I was pretty regular on the pill and then the nuvaring (which I switched to when the birth control part of HBC became more important), but I've been reeeeally irregular for the past few months since my most recent obgyn (moved a lot) had me try having a nuvaring in continuously.
I considered HBC but I just did not want to risk it messing me up. I know several people who have gained quite a bit of weight while on it. I also know someone who almost ruined her marriage from the mood swings - she eventually got off it. I know others who really like HBC, but for me, it just wasn't worth the risk.
Additionally, I have about as good a period as a woman can get. Regular, about 33 days apart. No cramps except mild discomfort the day before and day of, which is actually kind of nice so I knew exactly when it's coming. And no PMS to speak of.
I also considered the NFP route and read Taking Charge. It's a great book, but honestly, it sounded way too easy to mess up. Wake up to late or stay up to late, can't tell whether the mucus is slippery or sticky, can't tell how your cervix feels. I was too worried about it being subjective.
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Yeah I've had the IUD for a long time and no issues. And my dr currently has a 0% pregnancy rate from all her pts on the IUD. And it's the most effective method of BC out there other than abstinence so I'm good with my choice. A lot of ppls' fears stem from the old IUD from the 70s that has since been revamped and fixed for a lot of the issues. Obviously every form of BC has risks. I'll look into the CBE fertility, though. Thanks.
Personally, H and I have always used condoms for contraception. I don't like the hassle of taking a pill every day and didn't feel like my contraceptive needs were long-term enough for an IUD. Plus the condoms slow him down so I get to have an orgasm like 99% of the time - BONUS!!! Right now we're sort of using the rhythm method though (condoms only when I'm ovulating - this is easy for me because my cycles are really, really regular). I am fully aware that this is a crummy method but while we're not actively TTC until later in the year we both feel like it would be perfectly fine if it happened before then (I'm 37 and he's 40, so we know we don't have all the time in the world).
My dr actually is involved in a program to decrease the number of teen pregnancies on the south side of chicago and they give IUDs out to all the girls she sees that want to prevent pregnancy bc it's the most foolproof option out there of BC. Plenty of research shows that and for me, a few hours of discomfort after insertion beats the hell out of an unplanned pregnancy.