Just Making Conversation

[Deleted User]

My Godmother offered to throw a shower for me and I accepted; my FMIL offered to co-host.  They have been emailing / phoning and met each other this weekend to party plan- they had a good time.  Yay!

One of my FMIL's aunts has been declining in health for years and passed away recently.  She is choosing to donate her body to science.  The only day the family could arrange for her funeral / memorial is the same day as my shower.

Another of FMIL's aunts (the SIL of the one who passed away) called FMIL and asked if the shower date could be changed; my FMIL said no.  It's likely that this aunt and probably a few more people on the shower guest list will go to the funeral.  No big deal- life happens.

I'm just laughing a little b/c this Aunt is the the one who, shortly after my fiance and I became engaged, was asking about when the wedding would be and we said October 2015 but we weren't sure which date yet, and she said, "well don't have it on such and such a date because that's when I have my Heifer Project quilt show."  LOL- lady, you're old / sweet / cute but you're not a VIP.  If we pick that date and you'd rather go do to your quilt show, please do and I hope you enjoy.

She has been the oldest relative of my FMIL's family for the last two years, and I think fancies herself a bit of a matriarch of the family, which is why I think she if feeling things have to be planned so that she can attend.

Anyone else have any strange requests from guests?

Edited for clarity.

AddieCake

One of my good friends was in charge of the UIL academics at our school when I got married. I and my  bridesmaids were coaches. She was not able to attend b/c our wedding fell during a big tournament, and she was kind of miffed that we other 3 couldn't be there for it and that I hadn't checked the schedule before choosing my date b/c she had to get alternate coaches. One of our other guests was also a coach and opted to go to the tournament b/c she felt bad that so many of us were out. Fuck that. I already had to plan it around state testing b/c of how busy I was for both. I wasn't checking the school calendar for every event to plan my goddam wedding around. 

julieanne912

FI is from Wyoming, and most of his friends from there are hunters.  I avoided October because that's THE season for rifle hunting, but when I told some of them September, a few said "but that's bow season".  The date I picked was the only date the venue had in September, so yeah, sorry if you'd rather miss our wedding than miss one day of bow hunting, but we'll miss you.  Heck, the ones in SE Wyo could even go hunt in the morning and make it down in time for our 5pm wedding.

Edit: words are hard this early.

ShesSoCold

I've had three or four people in my friends circle (they're a little more than friends of friends, but I don't even have their phone numbers) tell me they're pissed they weren't invited to our wedding.

We invited immediate family, few aunts and uncles and TWO friends. Get over yourself.

My dad wanted us to have our DW on a Wednesday because then people would be able to take a full week off, instead of two partial weeks. What about the people who don't want to be there a week? 

Liatris2010

A few people barked at us because our wedding was the same time as the Giants game. We put it on at the bar and let cocktail hour go a few minutes long so they could watch the end. If you want to miss out on our wedding, top shop open bar, and awesome food to drink Coor's light on the couch, have it at. But I am sure as shit not moving our date for a football game. We did move our date because my MOH had a cruise booked then. But she is a VIP.

[Deleted User]

julieanne912 said:

FI is from Wyoming, and most of his friends from there are hunters.  I avoided October because that's THE season for rifle hunting, but when I told some of them September, a few said "but that's bow season".  The date I picked was the only date the venue had in September, so yeah, sorry if you'd rather miss one day of bow hunting to not come to our wedding, but we'll miss you.  Heck, the ones in SE Wyo could even go hunt in the morning and make it down in time for our 5pm wedding.

My fiance's only first cousin is a hunter and he too has passed on a lot of family events to go hunting.  He missed the family reunion / picnic last weekend because he's "squiring" at the Bristol Renaissance Fair all summer. 

Their grandpa is 93 and in a nursing home.  Fiance's cousin was going to bring him to the wedding, look after him, etc. (Grandpa won't trust a hired nurse/aide).  Now we're pretty sure Grandpa just isn't up to going, so now I wonder if cousin will be on time for the wedding. 

The last family wedding we went to a few summers back, he showed up AFTER dinner for the drinking/dancing part of the reception.

Edited b/c mobile- ugh

[Deleted User]

Liatris2010 said:

A few people barked at us because our wedding was the same time as the Giants game. We put it on at the bar and let cocktail hour go a few minutes long so they could watch the end. If you want to miss out on our wedding, top shop open bar, and awesome food to drink Coor's light on the couch, have it at. But I am sure as shit not moving our date for a football game. We did move our date because my MOH had a cruise booked then. But she is a VIP.

My fiance is a pretty hard core football fan and we're having our wedding on a Sunday during the season.  I figured if he could give up a game, most people could.  Hell, we're doing brunch so people could still catch the evening game if it's really that important to them.  And if they don't want to miss football for a wedding, fine.  Less money I have to spend.

Maggie0829

Our wedding was originally supposed to be on July 9th; however, the venue forgot that there was a monster truck rally happening that day so we had to reschedule.  But before we rescheduled SIL complained that our wedding was the same day as her H's birthday.  She never asked if we could move our date but she sure seemed happy when we told her we had to move it due to another event happening at our venue.

novella1186

I accidentally scheduled our wedding for Kentucky Derby Day. I think I was the only person genuinely bummed out that I would miss the race; the only comment/request I got was from my cousin, who-- in honor of the derby-- asked if it was alright if she wore a hat. It was definitely alright with me. (And she looked gorgeous). 

ShesSoCold said, we had someone whine on facebook about not being invited to our wedding. H's "groomswoman" wrote us a congratulatory post and tagged us, and this random girl that H went to high school with but hasn't seen or spoken to in years wrote a passive aggressive comment about it. H saw it and was like "Seriously? I don't even know her." We both just rolled our eyes and moved on.

 I even found out later that she had gotten married in the same city we currently live in about 6 months before our wedding and did not invite us. But she's entitled to be invited to our wedding? Yeah ok. 

NowIamMrsKlein

My dad, brother and one of my FI's cousins all work at the same place. Obviously my dad and brother are VIPs. When talking about wedding date it came to our attention that their work would be going through a large shutdown/maintenance thing and it would be difficult for them to get time off work. Now I will mention this discussion took place a year and a half ago. For our September 2015 wedding. So we talked with them and asked them the date ranges of the shutdown to see if we would be able to work around it. The only thing FI wanted date wise was a Fall wedding.

The 'unavailable' dates they gave us were July 1 through to October 25...... Yes. My dad and brother basically told me they were unavailable for 4 months, through the entirety of 'wedding season'

Thankfully since we were planning it so far out we were able to give them our 'dream dates' and they took them to work and were able to convince management to let them have that weekend off because '1.5 year notice yo'

luckya23

The most stupid thing I keep hearing from my mother is that I should have had a "Plan B" for rain.  Like, a different venue altogether.  Umm... you mean a back up WEDDING RECEPTION? wtf

[Deleted User]

We invited FI’s family’s longtime neighbors to our wedding. They asked if their nephew (whom FI has never met) could be the ring bearer because he would just look so cute in a tux.

Haaavve you tried the bean dip? 

beachyone15

I didn't have any outlandish requests, but I did have suggestions to have a partial cash bar and a dollar dance. No thanks!

NowIamMrsKlein

My MIL requested we get married in the church. That conversation was not a fun one.

thisismynickname2

These are amusing to read!

I have two. The first is more serious; we considered a date that was the day after my sister's 5th wedding anniversary. She did not want us to get married that weekend. (They had loose plans to take a vacation then.) Yeah, everyone gets one day, but I ceded the argument. DH at the time was pissed off. He's an only child and didn't get it. It was an interesting lesson in family dynamics for him that I insisted it was far better to choose another date (out of plenty available!) than anger my sister.

The second, well, this chick gave me the stink-eye when she realized my wedding was the day after her 30th birthday. Bitch, I wasn't inviting you anyway. And then, before she realized that she wasn't invited, she made a big deal of trying to plan her birthday party around my rehearsal dinner. (And luckily, our mutual friends came to my wedding rather than the Vegas trip she planned.)

mrscomposer

J's aunt had emailed me before the wedding asking what colour the guys were wearing.  Okay, black, a little weird.  Fast forward to the wedding, we've just finished our first dance and are on the second (another really important song to us), the DJ just opened the dance floor to everyone, the party's just getting started... and she cuts in to our dance to inform us that she brought a bunch of cookies for us (they were on the dessert table) decorated like little brides and grooms (heart shapes with the top of a dress and the top of a suit) and we JUST HAVE TO GO SEE THEM RIGHT NOW. 

Lady, I'm the bride, and there are 220 other people in this room that we have to talk to between me and that dessert table - also, we're dancing.  She came up another three times to remind me to go see them.  Found out later she pestered FIL and MIL to go see them multiple times, too.  FIL saw one time she flagged me down, and came up after to tell me not to worry because he had taken a picture of them.  I never did get over to that table.

Liatris2010

Maggie0829 said:

Our wedding was originally supposed to be on July 9th; however, the venue forgot that there was a monster truck rally happening that day so we had to reschedule.  But before we rescheduled SIL complained that our wedding was the same day as her H's birthday.  She never asked if we could move our date but she sure seemed happy when we told her we had to move it due to another event happening at our venue.

hahah. My aunt didn't come to our wedding because it was on her birthday. Everyone was pretty happy about it because she is a big brat and no one likes her.

ShesSoCold

Oh - I just remembered - We were planning our wedding and date and everything about a year before. We'd tentatively scheduled our date for 8/2. My SIL (brother's wife) was pregnant and due at the end of August. I told my MIL that if the baby is born early, we'd change the date. MIL was all pissy. More so than one should be about something that has nothing to do with her. She didn't understand why I wouldn't want to have a DW on or very close to my niece's first birthday. This child has OTHER family members who would want to be with her on her birthday. Why wouldn't we reschedule?

wandajune6

We had one guest ask if we could have a weeknight wedding because it's hard for him to take off weekends. He's and DH have been friends for decades but rarely see each other. Not happening.

My uncle was a VIP but he told us that he was going to be traveling for a 6 month period and couldn't guarantee when he'd be back in the area. He also couldn't tell me when he would know his schedule more definitely. He got married in July and left the week later. We wanted to get married in the fall. It made me very sad but he and his husband missed the wedding.

I got endless shit about scheduling my bachelorette. I didn't schedule it- my sister did. And she did it after talking to the BMs about schedules. That was messy.

Liatris2010

wandajune6 said:

We had one guest ask if we could have a weeknight wedding because it's hard for him to take off weekends. He's and DH have been friends for decades but rarely see each other. Not happening.

My uncle was a VIP but he told us that he was going to be traveling for a 6 month period and couldn't guarantee when he'd be back in the area. He also couldn't tell me when he would know his schedule more definitely. He got married in July and left the week later. We wanted to get married in the fall. It made me very sad but he and his husband missed the wedding.

I got endless shit about scheduling my bachelorette. I didn't schedule it- my sister did. And she did it after talking to the BMs about schedules. That was messy.

This is insane!!! It is hard for the majority of people to take off during the week. I know all about the suckage that is working every weekend and missing all the fun things your other friends are doing, but that doesn't excuse such a ridiculous request.

redheadbride15

If we're expanding this to weird/random things that people asked of you for your wedding:

My stepmother pulled me aside during our reception and asked if she could "sing a song" to encourage our wedding guests to search themselves for ticks because our cocktail hour was outside and maybe someone would have picked one up during that time... but she didn't want to be a bummer by making an announcement on the microphone, so maybe it would be happier if she sang a song about it, you know, to make it fun! Let's all have a fun song and dance and search each other for ticks! I politely said "no, thanks. I'll just spread the word quietly." I promise I did not mutter the word "tick" to anyone all night long. Case closed.

[Deleted User]

redheadbride15 said:

If we're expanding this to weird/random things that people asked of you for your wedding:

My stepmother pulled me aside during our reception and asked if she could "sing a song" to encourage our wedding guests to search themselves for ticks because our cocktail hour was outside and maybe someone would have picked one up during that time... but she didn't want to be a bummer by making an announcement on the microphone, so maybe it would be happier if she sang a song about it, you know, to make it fun! Let's all have a fun song and dance and search each other for ticks! I politely said "no, thanks. I'll just spread the word quietly." I promise I did not mutter the word "tick" to anyone all night long. Case closed.

Okay- this is hilarious!  I hope you can laugh about this now.  LOL!

PandaNikki

My MIL said that I should have DH's three teenaged cousins that live far away as bridesmaids. I've met them twice. I was like.. I'm pretty much all set with the bridal party... and bean dipped.

She was also outraged that DH chose his cousin as his best man instead of one of his brothers, and probably about a list of other things I didn't hear about. Though my favorite was an email chain that went something like this:

MIL: My sisters are flying in. Which airport should they use?
Me: The venue and hotel are between two airports. [Big airport] is slightly more difficult to get around but probably has more/cheaper flights than [smaller airport], which is easier to get to in general. Whichever is easier for them, the hotel is basically the same distance both ways.
MIL: But which one should they use?
Me: Repeats explanation above, stressing they can use either.
MIL: But which one is close to the hotel?
Me: *facepalm*

redheadbride15

FeeleyToBe said:

redheadbride15 said:

If we're expanding this to weird/random things that people asked of you for your wedding:

My stepmother pulled me aside during our reception and asked if she could "sing a song" to encourage our wedding guests to search themselves for ticks because our cocktail hour was outside and maybe someone would have picked one up during that time... but she didn't want to be a bummer by making an announcement on the microphone, so maybe it would be happier if she sang a song about it, you know, to make it fun! Let's all have a fun song and dance and search each other for ticks! I politely said "no, thanks. I'll just spread the word quietly." I promise I did not mutter the word "tick" to anyone all night long. Case closed.

Okay- this is hilarious!  I hope you can laugh about this now.  LOL!

When it happened it caught me so off guard that I'm amazed I was actually capable of making up a reasonable and polite response. But yes, now I am definitely laughing!

kimmiinthemitten

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

My MIL requested we get married in the church. That conversation was not a fun one.

Edited because where are the boxes?!?!

Mine has agreed to compromise on no pastor if we still use the word God in our vows.  Ummm, compromise?  This isn't your wedding lady!

If I hear the word "tradition" one more time I may scream!

NowIamMrsKlein

kimmiandkoley said:

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

My MIL requested we get married in the church. That conversation was not a fun one.

Edited because where are the boxes?!?!

Mine has agreed to compromise on no pastor if we still use the word God in our vows.  Ummm, compromise?  This isn't your wedding lady!

If I hear the word "tradition" one more time I may scream!

I wish it was just 'tradition' that prompted that conversation!

It was more along the lines of a teary 'But if you dont, then my I won't get to see my future grandbabies in heaven'

AddieCake

I don't understand adults making a big deal about other events happening on their birthdays. Who gives a shit? 

lyndausvi

We didn't have any requests.  Well our parents did mention having a Catholic wedding, but it was not a big deal and we both expected them to want us to have one.   

DH's BFF is a Texas A&M season ticket holder. He did not make any requests.  We lucked out it was not a home game weekend.  If it was he would not have attended our wedding.   No big deal.  He dropped $50K for rights to the tickets, then who knows how much for the actual tickets.  I do not blame him for not wanting to miss the 1 of 6-8 home games a season.

huskypuppy14

luckya23 said:

The most stupid thing I keep hearing from my mother is that I should have had a "Plan B" for rain.  Like, a different venue altogether.  Umm... you mean a back up WEDDING RECEPTION? wtf

What is your rain contingency plan? Is your venue outside?

AddieCake

I think I've shared this story before, but my aunt insisted I have Peeps at the reception. Yes, Easter marshmallow Peeps. I have no idea why. I hate them. She loves them. She said she was bringing them, and I assumed she was kidding b/c...Peeps? Sure enough, she brought them, and on our dessert table sat a few boxes of marshmallow Peeps. I know the other guests had to wonder WTF that was about. 

ShesSoCold

AddieCake said:

I think I've shared this story before, but my aunt insisted I have Peeps at the reception. Yes, Easter marshmallow Peeps. I have no idea why. I hate them. She loves them. She said she was bringing them, and I assumed she was kidding b/c...Peeps? Sure enough, she brought them, and on our dessert table sat a few boxes of marshmallow Peeps. I know the other guests had to wonder WTF that was about. 

LOL!