Just Making Conversation

[Deleted User]

redheadbride15 said:

FeeleyToBe said:

redheadbride15 said:

If we're expanding this to weird/random things that people asked of you for your wedding:

My stepmother pulled me aside during our reception and asked if she could "sing a song" to encourage our wedding guests to search themselves for ticks because our cocktail hour was outside and maybe someone would have picked one up during that time... but she didn't want to be a bummer by making an announcement on the microphone, so maybe it would be happier if she sang a song about it, you know, to make it fun! Let's all have a fun song and dance and search each other for ticks! I politely said "no, thanks. I'll just spread the word quietly." I promise I did not mutter the word "tick" to anyone all night long. Case closed.

Okay- this is hilarious!  I hope you can laugh about this now.  LOL!

When it happened it caught me so off guard that I'm amazed I was actually capable of making up a reasonable and polite response. But yes, now I am definitely laughing!

I don't listen to country music but when I read this, all I could think about was that Brad Paisley song "Ticks."

Hey, that gives me an idea
Let's get out of this bar
Drive out into the country
And find a place to park

'Cause I'd like to see you out in the moonlight
I'd like to kiss you way back in the sticks
I'd like to walk you through a field of wildflowers
And I'd like to check you for ticks

novella1186

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

kimmiandkoley said:

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

My MIL requested we get married in the church. That conversation was not a fun one.

Edited because where are the boxes?!?!

Mine has agreed to compromise on no pastor if we still use the word God in our vows.  Ummm, compromise?  This isn't your wedding lady!

If I hear the word "tradition" one more time I may scream!

I wish it was just 'tradition' that prompted that conversation!

It was more along the lines of a teary 'But if you dont, then my I won't get to see my future grandbabies in heaven'

WOW.... just wow. 

NowIamMrsKlein

Not mine, but my sisters wedding had something super random at the reception venue.

We got together the friday before the wedding and helped set up the venue. Super simple, elegant decorations. When we left, everything looked great.

When we showed up to the venue day of wedding for the reception there was a glow stick, in it's cheap plastic dollar store wrapping, on each persons place setting. No one had any idea where they had come from.

Turns out it was the MIL. She thought that glow sticks would be super fun for everyone during the dance, and knew that her DIL (My sister) wouldn't want them, so she went to the venue super early and put them out. I mean, she could have easily just put them in a basket at the DJ booth, or in a basket beside the guest book. But no. This woman put these on each place setting of a wedding whose decor was 'simple elegance'

redheadbride15

AddieCake said:

I don't understand adults making a big deal about other events happening on their birthdays. Who gives a shit? 

We got married on my mother's birthday and she had no problem with it at all. In fact, she kept telling everyone she was "skipping my birthday this year", which of course means that she wouldn't be getting a year older this year. What a wonderful idea! We should all start scheduling really important events on that date - she'd discovered the key to eternal youth! I like her attitude.

luckya23

huskypuppy14 said:

luckya23 said:

The most stupid thing I keep hearing from my mother is that I should have had a "Plan B" for rain.  Like, a different venue altogether.  Umm... you mean a back up WEDDING RECEPTION? wtf

What is your rain contingency plan? Is your venue outside?

My wedding is over, but the reception was in a pavilion that had those tent panels on the sides in case of rain. They were not at all adequate for keeping out the cold and wind, though. Who would have thought it would be under 60 degrees in late June!

WinstonsGirl

My Mom insisted on throwing us an AHR.  When she asked for the guest list, I said it was the same as the wedding guest list.  She thought I wanted to invite everyone I knew.  I told her that if they weren't cool enough to get an invite in the first place, I wasn't going to invite them to this.  No other real requests though, which was pretty awesome.  

I did request my BFF get married on a certain date (I was her MOH).  She was looking at 2 dates in October and we had just received a STD for my cousin on one of those dates.  When she mentioned that thew were going venue shopping, I mentioned the other wedding and said that if possible, the first date would hall me, but if she couldn't make it work, no worries, and I'd figure something out.  I'm so glad she wanted the first date though, as the wedding were a 2 hour flight apart and it would have been a very hard choice for me.  She did actually pick the first date since it was a long weekend and most people were travelling to Saskatoon, so she wanted to give them the option of an extra day if needed for said travel.  

redheadbride15

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

Not mine, but my sisters wedding had something super random at the reception venue.

We got together the friday before the wedding and helped set up the venue. Super simple, elegant decorations. When we left, everything looked great.

When we showed up to the venue day of wedding for the reception there was a glow stick, in it's cheap plastic dollar store wrapping, on each persons place setting. No one had any idea where they had come from.

Turns out it was the MIL. She thought that glow sticks would be super fun for everyone during the dance, and knew that her DIL (My sister) wouldn't want them, so she went to the venue super early and put them out. I mean, she could have easily just put them in a basket at the DJ booth, or in a basket beside the guest book. But no. This woman put these on each place setting of a wedding whose decor was 'simple elegance'

I gave out glow sticks as favors to the kids at my wedding, and they were such a hit that I think I caught a few adults were fighting over them! So maybe your sister's MIL was onto something...

hellohkb

These stories are hysterical and made me feel a lot more sane. Thank you so much for posting this, Feeley. I don't feel so lost anymore.

FIL suggested I invite FI's cousins who are racist, one in particular who made a comment about Latino's and interracial relationships despite the fact that my family and I are Latin, but okay. FIL thinks its not polite to not invite them- I love my FIL but I'm going to have to against him on this one. I don't care about being polite to racists. Also suggested: A "viewing room" at the wedding for the new grandbaby that's due a few months before the wedding. Not that I'm an SS who is threatened a baby will steal my thunder because I wouldn't care if it did, I love babies and I'm not an AW. Interesting request, though. SSs heads are exploding everywhere at the idea. 

My grandmother wants me to invite people in the family I don't particularly speak to or even really like- But apparently a few second cousins got the impression they were invited and started looking into hotels. I've never been invited to any event they have held and we don't speak, what made them jump the gun and start looking at hotels?? FI and I aren't even inviting all our first cousins, nevermind second cousins that we don't speak to.

My dad has been going around wanting to invite a LOT of people. I'm inviting my aunt (his sister) but he also wanted me to invite her caretaker and caretaker's husband (completely reasonable), as well as her best friend and her husband so she has people to talk to (alright). He also wants to invite a friend and his wife who would give my aunt a ride up here and meet up with the caretaker and BFF, and then like 15 guys from a police precinct from NJ that he never even worked with as well as their SOs. And several more of his friends and I think a woman who used to be in my aunt's convent but then left. I actually have no idea because he changes the number of people he wants to invite pretty frequently. 

Oh yes and he doesn't really believe in invites, he'll "just call and ask what their schedule looks like, but I don't think they'll know this far in advance". I politely remind him I'll send them Save the Dates and invitations and they can let me know sooner if they can attend or not. 

....*deep sigh*. 

eta: Damn font

NowIamMrsKlein

redheadbride15 said:

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

Not mine, but my sisters wedding had something super random at the reception venue.

We got together the friday before the wedding and helped set up the venue. Super simple, elegant decorations. When we left, everything looked great.

When we showed up to the venue day of wedding for the reception there was a glow stick, in it's cheap plastic dollar store wrapping, on each persons place setting. No one had any idea where they had come from.

Turns out it was the MIL. She thought that glow sticks would be super fun for everyone during the dance, and knew that her DIL (My sister) wouldn't want them, so she went to the venue super early and put them out. I mean, she could have easily just put them in a basket at the DJ booth, or in a basket beside the guest book. But no. This woman put these on each place setting of a wedding whose decor was 'simple elegance'

I gave out glow sticks as favors to the kids at my wedding, and they were such a hit that I think I caught a few adults were fighting over them! So maybe your sister's MIL was onto something...

Ha! Its funny because everyone did love them. It was more her method of handing them out that didn't go over well:)

hellohkb

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

redheadbride15 said:

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

Not mine, but my sisters wedding had something super random at the reception venue.

We got together the friday before the wedding and helped set up the venue. Super simple, elegant decorations. When we left, everything looked great.

When we showed up to the venue day of wedding for the reception there was a glow stick, in it's cheap plastic dollar store wrapping, on each persons place setting. No one had any idea where they had come from.

Turns out it was the MIL. She thought that glow sticks would be super fun for everyone during the dance, and knew that her DIL (My sister) wouldn't want them, so she went to the venue super early and put them out. I mean, she could have easily just put them in a basket at the DJ booth, or in a basket beside the guest book. But no. This woman put these on each place setting of a wedding whose decor was 'simple elegance'

I gave out glow sticks as favors to the kids at my wedding, and they were such a hit that I think I caught a few adults were fighting over them! So maybe your sister's MIL was onto something...

Ha! Its funny because everyone did love them. It was more her method of handing them out that didn't go over well:)

I was thinking of having glow sticks and temporary tattoos but it seems like the glowsticks would be a good addition. I'll be sure to put them in a little basket, though :P

Liatris2010

hellohkb said:

These stories are hysterical and made me feel a lot more sane. Thank you so much for posting this, Feeley. I don't feel so lost anymore.

FIL suggested I invite FI's cousins who are racist, one in particular who made a comment about Latino's and interracial relationships despite the fact that my family and I are Latin, but okay. FIL thinks its not polite to not invite them- I love my FIL but I'm going to have to against him on this one. I don't care about being polite to racists. Also suggested: A "viewing room" at the wedding for the new grandbaby that's due a few months before the wedding. Not that I'm an SS who is threatened a baby will steal my thunder because I wouldn't care if it did, I love babies and I'm not an AW. Interesting request, though. SSs heads are exploding everywhere at the idea. 

My grandmother wants me to invite people in the family I don't particularly speak to or even really like- But apparently a few second cousins got the impression they were invited and started looking into hotels. I've never been invited to any event they have held and we don't speak, what made them jump the gun and start looking at hotels?? FI and I aren't even inviting all our first cousins, nevermind second cousins that we don't speak to.

My dad has been going around wanting to invite a LOT of people. I'm inviting my aunt (his sister) but he also wanted me to invite her caretaker and caretaker's husband (completely reasonable), as well as her best friend and her husband so she has people to talk to (alright). He also wants to invite a friend and his wife who would give my aunt a ride up here and meet up with the caretaker and BFF, and then like 15 guys from a police precinct from NJ that he never even worked with as well as their SOs. And several more of his friends and I think a woman who used to be in my aunt's convent but then left. I actually have no idea because he changes the number of people he wants to invite pretty frequently. 

Oh yes and he doesn't really believe in invites, he'll "just call and ask what their schedule looks like, but I don't think they'll know this far in advance". I politely remind him I'll send them Save the Dates and invitations and they can let me know sooner if they can attend or not. 

....*deep sigh*. 

eta: Damn font

Why does the baby need a special room to be on display? Cant the baby just be there, and then people will see it? What is in the viewing room? A rotating bassinet and harpist?

sarahufl

H and I didn't want a big, traditional wedding cake so we went the dessert table route. We had chocolate chip cookies, 1 small cake, 4 different kinds of cup cakes and petit fours. There was more than enough dessert for everyone with plenty leftovers.

MIL is super old-fashioned and feels that the groom's family should not be involved in the reception planning (which was fine by me, because I didn't want her opinions anyway), so she didn't realize we didn't have a cake. After the reception started, she pulled aside my mom with a look of horror on her face and gasped that there appeared to be no cake (pearl-clutching ensued). My mom politely told her we chose not to have cake but had provided more than enough sweets for everyone to have a few.

MIL then told my mom (and not in a joking manner) that you can't have a wedding without a cake and that she needed to go out right away and buy one. So, we can have a reception without MY MOTHER, but not the cake?

My mom was really hurt and pissed off and didn't tell me about it till later.

novella1186

sarahufl said:

H and I didn't want a big, traditional wedding cake so we went the dessert table route. We had chocolate chip cookies, 1 small cake, 4 different kinds of cup cakes and petit fours. There was more than enough dessert for everyone with plenty leftovers.

MIL is super old-fashioned and feels that the groom's family should not be involved in the reception planning (which was fine by me, because I didn't want her opinions anyway), so she didn't realize we didn't have a cake. After the reception started, she pulled aside my mom with a look of horror on her face and gasped that there appeared to be no cake (pearl-clutching ensued). My mom politely told her we chose not to have cake but had provided more than enough sweets for everyone to have a few.

MIL then told my mom (and not in a joking manner) that you can't have a wedding without a cake and that she needed to go out right away and buy one. So, we can have a reception without MY MOTHER, but not the cake?

My mom was really hurt and pissed off and didn't tell me about it till later.

We did a dessert table with a bunch of assorted mini desserts and skipped the cake, too. We liked the variety and whatnot. 

My mom called me in a panic about 4 days before the wedding and said she had talked to my bakery and somehow they didn't have a cake included in my order. I said, "Yeah cuz we didn't want one." 

Cue gasping and shrieking "BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PHOTO? THERE WON'T BE A PHOTO OF YOU CUTTING A CAKE! YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CAKE! YOU HAVE TO!" 

I lost my temper a bit on that one. Ugh. I'm not spending $300 or more on a fucking cake just to have a photo of H and I cutting it. No thanks. 

AddieCake

It's fucking ridiculous they want some kind of room to view this baby. I agree with Lia. Can't the baby just BE there? This is like trying to turn your reception into a side event for them. How inappropriate. SorryNotSorry, but I'd definitely go all SS vetoing this idea.

AddieCake

@sarahufl Your mom is not as important as cake, no.

[Deleted User]

AddieCake said:

@sarahufl Your mom is not as important as cake, no.

@AddieCake beat me to it. 

AddieCake

I beat most people to cake-related things, @FeeleyToBe

[Deleted User]

You're welcome @hellohkb.  I'm lucky that so much has been drama free in my wedding planning.

Ironically, this shower has had the most drama involved, although on the drama scale, I'd say we're at about a 2.

The other thing that happened related to the shower was that my FMIL asked me if I would add her BFF to the shower guest list- the day AFTER the invites went out.  I've met her BFF a few times and I enjoy being in her company.  That said, I didn't invite her b/c she's not a "nearest and dearest," and I didn't want to offend her by making her think I was only inviting her b/c I was being gift grabby.

I told my FMIL that since I liked her BFF we could have her there, but ONLY if she was SURE BFF would not be offended. So, now FMIL's BFF is invited / coming and is apparently pretty excited to meet my family members who will be there. 

hellohkb

Apparently the baby isn't safe in the wedding because it won't be vaccinated yet because of how young it will be.

That's one of the reasons I was given.

[Deleted User]

hellohkb said:

Apparently the baby isn't safe in the wedding because it won't be vaccinated yet because of how young it will be. That's one of the reasons I was given.

So, standing next to one person at a time holding a baby is going to be different than 3 people standing around it at the same time?

Um, if one of those people is sick, that kid is getting sick too, regardless if the sick person stands there alone or w/ a group of people.

AddieCake

But it's safe to take the baby out to a reception and allow all the people to come oooh and Ahhhh over him or her in a separate room?

redheadbride15

FeeleyToBe said:

hellohkb said:

Apparently the baby isn't safe in the wedding because it won't be vaccinated yet because of how young it will be. That's one of the reasons I was given.

So, standing next to one person at a time holding a baby is going to be different than 3 people standing around it at the same time?

Um, if one of those people is sick, that kid is getting sick too, regardless if the sick person stands there alone or w/ a group of people.

Yeah that's just what I was thinking. Are they planning on putting the baby in a bubble and then have people come and look at it from a "safe" distance?

There was a 1 week-old baby at my wedding. She survived.

madamerwin

AddieCake said:

I don't understand adults making a big deal about other events happening on their birthdays. Who gives a shit? 

Agreed. Our wedding was on a friend's birthday, and he was pretty stoked to get to celebrate with a bunch of his friends (and family, almost his entire family was invited). When we were setting a date, we were considering 7/12, which is my sister and BIL's anniversary. She was actually pushing us to choose it, because she "couldn't imagine a better way to celebrate an anniversary than watching someone else get married" (no sarcasm meant, she was serious).

The only odd thing that we got asked at the reception, by H's kind of odd aunt, was if we were doing a money dance. When we said no, she was aghast - "What do you mean, you're not doing a money dance?!" It's not like people in H's family do money dances at weddings, so I am not sure why she was so shocked. She proceeded to hand H a $100 bill, since that's what she was saving for the money dance. <- Proof that people will give you money if the want to, without a money dance.

ETA punctuation

hellohkb

FeeleyToBe said:

hellohkb said:

Apparently the baby isn't safe in the wedding because it won't be vaccinated yet because of how young it will be. That's one of the reasons I was given.

So, standing next to one person at a time holding a baby is going to be different than 3 people standing around it at the same time?

Um, if one of those people is sick, that kid is getting sick too, regardless if the sick person stands there alone or w/ a group of people.

Yeah that's just what I was thinking. Are they planning on putting the baby in a bubble and then have people come and look at it from a "safe" distance?

There was a 1 week-old baby at my wedding. She survived.

A family member suggested the baby's other set of grandparents babysit. FIL suggested we invite the other set of grandparents too and they can see the baby because "if given the choice between going to your wedding and seeing the baby they will of course pick seeing the baby". I would hope so!

julieanne912

So far there hasn't been too much for us in the way of bad suggestions/pushiness.  Being far away from our families probably helps.  

FI's stepmom was a little pushy about having her grandchildren as our ringbearer and flower girl.  If we were having a ringbearer and flower girl, we'd probably have them do it (she's 4 and he's 1.5).  But we're not having any, so that's that.  She's also been a bit pushy about having lots of people coming to help set up the morning of, and offered to provide breakfast.  I told her we probably don't need a ton of people (and I don't want a ton of people there either as that would turn into a herding cats experiment). Yet, neither set of parents on his side has offered to host  or even help pay for a rehearsal dinner.  

Our DJ was a bit surprised that we're not doing a money dance, and so was FI.  I refuse to do it.  The DJ was also surprised that I didn't want to do a garter toss.  I'll do some flowers, fine.  But no garter hunting show.  

But overall, I've been happy both our families just seem genuinely excited we're getting married, and all seem stoked for the big day, so that's good.  It's probably because we're older (well 32 and 33) and our families thought we'd never get married LOL

kimmiinthemitten

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

kimmiandkoley said:

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

My MIL requested we get married in the church. That conversation was not a fun one.

Edited because where are the boxes?!?!

Mine has agreed to compromise on no pastor if we still use the word God in our vows.  Ummm, compromise?  This isn't your wedding lady!

If I hear the word "tradition" one more time I may scream!

I wish it was just 'tradition' that prompted that conversation!

It was more along the lines of a teary 'But if you dont, then my I won't get to see my future grandbabies in heaven'

Apparently FI has a brother I never met because we have the same FMIL.  She said the same thing about our twins (because I only want one so she retorted with "maybe they'll be twins!"

[Deleted User]

Ugh. I should have knocked on wood about this party being pretty drama free. FMIL just emailed to say one of her cousins offered to throw a shower because she hadn't heard about one. Well she did the hear because I didn't have her on my guest list. Ugh. I feel like a bit of a heel. I was trying g to keep this list small and didn't invite anyone from out of state except my mom. This cousin lives as a snow bird and also spends a lot of time in FL with one of her daughters during game the summer. What do I say /do? My FMIL is co-hosting but came into the process a few weeks after I'd been asked for my guest list (no I didn't run it by her). Do I let her respond to her cousin or do I contact her myself. Cousin did not make the offer direcrtly to me so do I decline to her and do I say anything about her not being invited?

hellohkb

FeeleyToBe said:

Ugh. I should have knocked on wood about this party being pretty drama free.

FMIL just emailed to say one of her cousins offered to throw a shower because she hadn't heard about one. Well she did the hear because I didnt habe her on my guest list.

Ugh. I feel like a bit of a heel. I was trying g to keep this list small and didn't invite anyone from out of state except my mom. This cousin lives as a snow bird and also spends a lot of time in FL with one of her daughters during game the summer.

What do I say /do? My FMIL is co-hosting but came into the process a few weeks after I'd been asked for my guest list (no I didn't run it by her). Do I let her respond to her cousin or do I contact her myself.

Cousin did not make the offer direcruiting to me so do I decline to her and do I say anything about her not being invited?

What does your FMIL think? She may know her pretty well to give you some advice and thoughts.

[Deleted User]

Haven't had a strange request yet, but after officially signing our venue contract and putting down our non-refundable deposit, I found out that our wedding date is my FI's best man's birthday. In typical guy fashion, this completely slipped FI's mind. So I've decided we'll surprise the best man with a mini-birthday celebration. He's giving up his entire birthday weekend to celebrate our wedding, the least I can do is have the DJ get everyone to sing!

hellohkb

My dad just not so subtly hinted he prefers I keep my maiden name because "70% of women keep their names nowadays! They want to keep their identities!" and because apparently it'll be easier to have my information hacked if I change my name? Apparently?

FH works in computer security and basically his job is to keep hackers out. His whole degree was learning about hacking and how to do it and was horrified to learn my dad thinks this. His career is his life so he cringes when people spread around false information on how to keep your information secure.