Moms and Maids

Not involved soon to be mother in law. Gets gift or no?

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Re: Not involved soon to be mother in law. Gets gift or no?

  • levioosa said:



    His sister was pretty much the mother roll in his life until 12 then his mom moved him in with them with a bf and her bfs son beat on him as a child. and she just turned her head. So im sorry that she not my fav person its because of how my FI grew up,  luckily he has learned from her mistakes and does everything opposite she has down.  Yes she is being honored as far as being walked down to her seat, and all the other things that you do at wedding.  I do my best myself to call and include her in everything I can.  

    Maybe you'll get why shes not my fav person now maybe you wont there is more to the reasons why but its none of your business.  My age is non of your business and neither is my life.  I came on here to see if maybe someone had been in my situation, not to get picked on on my character.  If i wasn't a strong person, you woman would probably would have made me consider hurting myself.   So please let that marinate next time you decide to be rude and not considerate of someone else's feelings or situations, because every situation is different.

    Have a nice life. 

    Please.  This wasn't bullying in the slightest.  And none of those details matter.  What PPs said still stands.  Grow up.  



    ^^^^This. You asked a question. Gift or no? Unanimous answer: GIFT.
    CMGragain[Deleted User]
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2015
    His sister was pretty much the mother roll in his life until 12 then his mom moved him in with them with a bf and her bfs son beat on him as a child. and she just turned her head. So im sorry that she not my fav person its because of how my FI grew up,  luckily he has learned from her mistakes and does everything opposite she has down.  Yes she is being honored as far as being walked down to her seat, and all the other things that you do at wedding.  I do my best myself to call and include her in everything I can.  

    Maybe you'll get why shes not my fav person now maybe you wont there is more to the reasons why but its none of your business.  My age is non of your business and neither is my life.  I came on here to see if maybe someone had been in my situation, not to get picked on on my character.  If i wasn't a strong person, you woman would probably would have made me consider hurting myself.   So please let that marinate next time you decide to be rude and not considerate of someone else's feelings or situations, because every situation is different.

    Have a nice life. 
    WTF.  You posted your information and asked for advice.  You got it.  Here is another piece of advice.  Get yourself to a therapist and stop blaming other people for your problems.
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    [Deleted User]mrscomposerTheCheeseWenchViczaesar
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    My MIL has never stepped foot into my home.  The woman has NEVER visited DH. Ever.  Even when he was on his death bed from pneumonia.    DH calls his mom almost everyday. I call her about once a month or so.  She only calls on birthdays.    We always have to visit her.   Even when we are in town it's like pulling teeth to take her out to dinner or lunch with us.

    My parents have visited every where we have lived.    They clear their calendar for us (some-what annoying, but they are good if we say we have other plans).   

    When it came to the wedding my parents paid, MIL did not.  Which was completely fine.  

      I get it, our parents are different then our SO's.   It's just life.  At no time do I bad mouth MIL to DH. I do not say "my parents are awesome and your mom sucks.  So my parents get the better gift than your mom".    MIL is still DH's mom and I give her the respect she deserved.  I think I might go out of my way to make sure I treat her the same as my parents.   

     Outside of actual  abuse (and no, not helping to pay for a wedding is not abuse), no good comes out of making a point of how awesome your parents are over your in-laws. That includes being petty about a parent gift.








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    MairePoppyOliveOilsMomILoveBeachMusic
  • Fi and I are doing gifts for our parents - we're both giving them out privately as they're sentimental and I didn't want to do it in front of everyone. Do what feels right for you. Our gifts are based on them being our parents...not financial help but I understand why you may think that as I've seen that written places before.

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