• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Etiquette

Friends Don't Respond to Engagement News

2»

Re: Friends Don't Respond to Engagement News

  • One thing just came to mind, if you did it as a mass email, everyone may have not gotten it. I know many email systems will send mass emails straight to spam and if your friends/family are anything like my husband, well he doesn't go through his spam box for weeks, even months at a time. I know that any mass emails that go to my work email address that come from a personal email, I'll never see due to how our security is set up at work. The system is programmed to view those as spam and potential virus issues. And because of this, you may want to re-send your save the dates through the regular mail, even if it's a simple postcard. That will help to insure that your guests get the notice and save the date for your wedding.
    adwks
  • Wow...people are being pretty rough on you about this - which I'm not quite sure why!  Nobody knows your 100% exact situation, and are just assuming you didn't place ANY calls/texts to family and friends before the STD was sent.  

    I notified those closest to me via phone and text.  Then I posted on Facebook, then did my STD's.  Regardless of how I notified people, I'd say I got about 10% enthusiastic response, 80% cool (but somewhat lackluster response) and 10% no response.  And yes...it hurt!  It hurt more people were not super enthusiastic about our news.  It hurt that some people didn't respond at all.  But, at the end of the day, I realized, no matter what, as important as our day is to us, it will never be THAT important to anyone else.  I'm not saying there are people who will not be excited/happy/congratulatory, but nobody can match the excitement and happiness we are feeling.  And, that can feel a little bit like a let down.  It isn't wrong or bad for you to feel the way you feel.  I think - acknowledge the feelings, and then try to move on from them, so it doesn't dampen your day.  You can't change or control what your folks did, but you can control how you respond to the situation.  

    If a particular person you were really hoping would respond hasn't; maybe give them a call, text or private email asking if the got the STD.  Like someone else mentioned, my sister didn't get hers, no matter how many times I sent it.  Her email just didn't like it!

    I'd avoid eliminating people from the wedding, just because they didn't respond.  As you stated, many people do not respond to STD's.  If you were mad and unhappy at the response you got, I can see why you are wanting to say "forget them!" in the moment.  But, I think you might end up regretting it.  If you got a little over-excited (I sure did!) and invited practically everyone you know before thinking about it, and your guest list is now exceeded what it should, or you've had second thoughts about some people attending; I think you can eliminate.  It might not be the BEST manners, but at the end of the day, if someone asks why they got the STD, but not the actual invitation, you can always apologize profusely and say that unfortunately, your guest list exceeded your venue capacity, and you only invited those who responded to the STD.  I'm sure SEVERAL Knotties will fight me on this, and sure, they have a point.  But, I'm a big believer in it being your day, and it being the way you want it.  You have to pay for it.  It will be your day and your memories.  I say do what you want; as long as it's legal! 

    Good luck & CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!   
  • Wow...people are being pretty rough on you about this - which I'm not quite sure why!  Nobody knows your 100% exact situation, and are just assuming you didn't place ANY calls/texts to family and friends before the STD was sent.  

    BOXES

    Right, but if the OP *had* already announced her engagement, why would she be upset about not having guests congratulate her upon receiving her STD? STDs are not meant to be responded to. 

    Anyone who has been sent a STD needs to be sent an invitation. 
    Pupatella
  • NowIAmSypNowIAmSyp East Hanover, NJ member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
    Wow...people are being pretty rough on you about this - which I'm not quite sure why!  Nobody knows your 100% exact situation, and are just assuming you didn't place ANY calls/texts to family and friends before the STD was sent.  

    I notified those closest to me via phone and text.  Then I posted on Facebook, then did my STD's.  Regardless of how I notified people, I'd say I got about 10% enthusiastic response, 80% cool (but somewhat lackluster response) and 10% no response.  And yes...it hurt!  It hurt more people were not super enthusiastic about our news.  It hurt that some people didn't respond at all.  But, at the end of the day, I realized, no matter what, as important as our day is to us, it will never be THAT important to anyone else.  I'm not saying there are people who will not be excited/happy/congratulatory, but nobody can match the excitement and happiness we are feeling.  And, that can feel a little bit like a let down.  It isn't wrong or bad for you to feel the way you feel.  I think - acknowledge the feelings, and then try to move on from them, so it doesn't dampen your day.  You can't change or control what your folks did, but you can control how you respond to the situation.  

    If a particular person you were really hoping would respond hasn't; maybe give them a call, text or private email asking if the got the STD.  Like someone else mentioned, my sister didn't get hers, no matter how many times I sent it.  Her email just didn't like it!

    I'd avoid eliminating people from the wedding, just because they didn't respond.  As you stated, many people do not respond to STD's.  If you were mad and unhappy at the response you got, I can see why you are wanting to say "forget them!" in the moment.  But, I think you might end up regretting it.  If you got a little over-excited (I sure did!) and invited practically everyone you know before thinking about it, and your guest list is now exceeded what it should, or you've had second thoughts about some people attending; I think you can eliminate.  It might not be the BEST manners, but at the end of the day, if someone asks why they got the STD, but not the actual invitation, you can always apologize profusely and say that unfortunately, your guest list exceeded your venue capacity, and you only invited those who responded to the STD.  I'm sure SEVERAL Knotties will fight me on this, and sure, they have a point.  But, I'm a big believer in it being your day, and it being the way you want it.  You have to pay for it.  It will be your day and your memories.  I say do what you want; as long as it's legal! 

    Good luck & CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!   

    image
    [Deleted User]InLoveInQueensSP29photokitty
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards