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Bridesmaids financial responsibilities

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Re: Bridesmaids financial responsibilities

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    OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    woodtdm said:
    I wrote off the bra as part of my wedding expenses, because I will more than likely need one. She is a cousin through marriage and I honestly don't know her that well. She is 8 years younger, but she acts so much younger. I haven't a clue where her sense of entitlement comes from. I think she thinks that our weddings are in some sort of competition. I honestly haven't done anything but the venue yet. I already have the colours, the bridesmaid dresses, the center pieces, bachelorette party venue and menu already picked out. I haven't picked out my wedding party or dress yet. Its coming up next month. She has also invited herself to be in my wedding party. I told her nothing has been decided yet. My wedding isn't until September.
    Just an FYI: You should not be planning your own b-party.  It is a party held in your honor, so you should not have any hand in the planning.
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    OliveOilsMom said:
    woodtdm said:
    I wrote off the bra as part of my wedding expenses, because I will more than likely need one. She is a cousin through marriage and I honestly don't know her that well. She is 8 years younger, but she acts so much younger. I haven't a clue where her sense of entitlement comes from. I think she thinks that our weddings are in some sort of competition. I honestly haven't done anything but the venue yet. I already have the colours, the bridesmaid dresses, the center pieces, bachelorette party venue and menu already picked out. I haven't picked out my wedding party or dress yet. Its coming up next month. She has also invited herself to be in my wedding party. I told her nothing has been decided yet. My wedding isn't until September.
    Just an FYI: You should not be planning your own b-party.  It is a party held in your honor, so you should not have any hand in the planning.
    I feel like OP meant to use the word "she" in place of "I."  Because in the following sentence she notes that she hasn't even picked her wedding party or dress yet.

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    OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
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    Maggie0829 said:
    OliveOilsMom said:
    woodtdm said:
    I wrote off the bra as part of my wedding expenses, because I will more than likely need one. She is a cousin through marriage and I honestly don't know her that well. She is 8 years younger, but she acts so much younger. I haven't a clue where her sense of entitlement comes from. I think she thinks that our weddings are in some sort of competition. I honestly haven't done anything but the venue yet. I already have the colours, the bridesmaid dresses, the center pieces, bachelorette party venue and menu already picked out. I haven't picked out my wedding party or dress yet. Its coming up next month. She has also invited herself to be in my wedding party. I told her nothing has been decided yet. My wedding isn't until September.
    Just an FYI: You should not be planning your own b-party.  It is a party held in your honor, so you should not have any hand in the planning.
    I feel like OP meant to use the word "she" in place of "I."  Because in the following sentence she notes that she hasn't even picked her wedding party or dress yet.

    Good call!
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    woodtdmwoodtdm member
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    It was a discussion with all my friends on the bachelorette party. I wanted to do something out of the box and I didn't want the financial burden to be on the girls, so I gave the ideas, and set aside $300. I'm too old to be bothered with nasty strippers, and ridiculous amounts of alcohol.

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    MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
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    frenchiekin said:
    You realize now you have to send us her response to your email, yes?  Ohhh happy Friday to us.

    Not sure I could control my hysterical laughter in their face if someone ever tried to dictate the bra I needed to wear.  Nope sorry my boobs bye.
    OP, I'm just reading this thread now and your response made my day. Life would be so simple if everyone was as honest as you are. I hope the silent bms have the guts to stand up for themselves.

    I can't believe your cousin asked her bm to buy their own bouquets and host the RD, which is supposed to be a thank you dinner for the wedding party. 
                       
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    HeffalumpHeffalump member
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    woodtdm said:
    Its started to get crunch time. Im having issues that I need to bring up. I feel like no one is checking in asking me there is any jobs that need to be done. Ive been busting my ass off making sure everyone is getting great deals on things. While trying to help you guys saved money. Im very stressed out bride I need help desprately. This week I posted a few things that didnt deal with the boquets and I got zero response back. But everyone seems to write on the pictures. but not really answering the questions.
    If she's so concerned about saving everyone money, maybe she shouldn't be pushing bouquet expenses onto her bridesmaids, dictating hair and makeup at your expense, et cetera.
    �
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    madamerwinmadamerwin member
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    I can't get past her demanding that someone make her a bridal survival kit... Assuming she is a grown up, she can track down band-aids, a tide pen, bobby pins, and safety pins on her own. Hell, for my wedding, I went as far as to provide these things for myself and FOR MY BRIDESMAIDS. I made them cosmetic bags (well, my mom volunteered to do a lot of the sewing) and then monogrammed them, and filled them with band-aids, bobby and safety pins, Advil, boob tape, gum, a condom (half-jokingly but some of them were used that night), sunglasses, etc.

    As PPs have said, please let us know how she responds! I am glad you told some of the other BM's what's going on. Maybe if enough people step down, the bride will realize how unreasonable she is being.

    And be sure to report back about the actual wedding (assuming she is not so immature as to un-invite you) - we love a good trainwreck!
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    artbyallieartbyallie mod
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    Ouch, that actually hurt to read. I know middle school kids who can write and spell better than that. How old is she? I know you said 8 years younger but does that mean like 18 to your 26 or what? Either way, there's no real excuse for her poor communication skills.
    image
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    drunkenwitchdrunkenwitch member
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    When, not if, when their is fall out from the family flat out tell them that paying your rent and putting food on your table ranks higher on your priority list than matching accessories and a male stripper.

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    madamerwinmadamerwin member
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    Viczaesar said:
    flantastic said:
    holyguacamole79 said:
    I've never understood the survival kit .... I mean, how many bridal related deaths are there?
    At recent shitshow wedding, it was called the "Armageddon bag." Because not having an extra bobby pin is my first worry when Armageddon comes.
    An Armageddon bag should come with free condoms at the very least.
    I put kits together for my BMs, and they included condoms. I am pretty sure at least two of them were used the night of the wedding ;)
    BabyFruit Ticker
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    banana468banana468 member
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    madamerwin said:
    woodtdm said:
    The backstabbing has begun. I am a terrible and mean person, but the bride is thankful that she was able to find someone to replace me. Half truths were told to the poor unsuspecting new BM, so I was sure to send a copy of the correspondence to her for a quick read :)
    Hot damn, she replaced you ALREADY??? I feel bad for this new, unsuspecting BM. Did your cousin make sure to check new BM's bank statements to make sure she can fund everything?
    Holy crap. 

    She sounds like she has few redeeming qualities. 
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    SP29SP29 member
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    Holy crap OP!!

    I can't even... 

    You were not too harsh. While generally I would never saying anything to my friend or family if they make an etiquette error, I think your cousin needs to be schooled! You should have responded back, "This is what your FI is for" ;). Why does she think people need to plan HER wedding? She obviously thinks the WP are her employees. 

    The RD is to thank those for attending the rehearsal- therefore, the WP should not be hosting it! 

    Replaced you already? Geez. So not only are you "mean", but a disposable prop. Bet new BM feels just great about herself. 

    Good for you for stepping back. I hope you continue to remain honest should any other family members try to make you feel bad. 
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    woodtdmwoodtdm member
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    Thank you everyone for validating everything.
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    knottie2b256f5c2ae42586knottie2b256f5c2ae42586 member
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    OP, is the new BM family too?
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    kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
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    Man, she killed my over/under of 5 days!! Be glad you got out when you did. Whatever the rest of the BM's are subjected to is not your problem. They know her behavior, see the door on the other side and choose to stay.

    @Viczaesar And if Armageddon is coming, why use condoms?! ;) Lol
    image
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    missfrodomissfrodo member
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    OP, longtime lurker here coming out of the woodwork to just chime in on how BSC this is.  And I love all the "emergency bridal bag" stuff; I thought I had planned for every eventuality at my wedding, then at the last minute I ended up borrowing lipstick off an aunt (not really in my color, but I'm very pale and needed SOMETHING on my lips) b/c I forgot mine.  It looks fine in the pictures, and my wedding is still valid.  Maybe I should sue my bridesmaid for failure to pack emergency lipstick for the bride ;).  
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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    CMGragain said:
    Maybe the new BM wears your size, and will buy your dress.
    If the bride continues with her thoughtfulness at devoting all her energy and time looking to save her wedding party money, OP should be expecting a phone call soon.
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    ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    kimmiinthemitten said:
    Man, she killed my over/under of 5 days!! Be glad you got out when you did. Whatever the rest of the BM's are subjected to is not your problem. They know her behavior, see the door on the other side and choose to stay. @Viczaesar And if Armageddon is coming, why use condoms?! ;) Lol
    I can't find a gif but there's a line in Miss Congeniality about Miss New Jersey being disqualified for starring in a film called "Arma-get-it-on." 



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