Bridesmaids financial responsibilities

KatWAG

woodtdm said:

I finally heard back from the bride. She apologized and said she never meant to make anyone feel "that way", then proceeded to blame it on the fact that I am too busy because I just purchased a house, doing renovations and planning my wedding. I ended up snapping and told her that it was not anywhere close to the reason and the reason simply being that we are not her money whores, and we as her bridesmaids deserve respect and appreciation. She then promptly contacted all the other bridesmaids and asked them if this is how they felt, and BAM!! They agreed.

I am now probably uninvited and unfriended/unfollowed on social media.

Holy Mudder of Gawd!! give me the strength.

So did the bride kick out the other BMs? Or did she adjust her expectations?

glasgowtolondon

woodtdm said:

I finally heard back from the bride. She apologized and said she never meant to make anyone feel "that way", then proceeded to blame it on the fact that I am too busy because I just purchased a house, doing renovations and planning my wedding. I ended up snapping and told her that it was not anywhere close to the reason and the reason simply being that we are not her money whores, and we as her bridesmaids deserve respect and appreciation. She then promptly contacted all the other bridesmaids and asked them if this is how they felt, and BAM!! They agreed.

I am now probably uninvited and unfriended/unfollowed on social media.

Holy Mudder of Gawd!! give me the strength.

Money whores!

mollybarker11

I was going to suggest including the other BMs in your talks because A] they probably felt the same way and B] that way the bride couldn't lie about what a jerk you were for stepping down. Thrilled to see that the bride HERSELF included the BMs and they were all on your side.

Please let us know if she realizes the error of her ways now that it's not just one rogue BM letting her know the truth.

missfrodo

You are my new hero.  
If I knew how to Internet better, I would give you a picture of a clapping bunny. 

thisismynickname2

missfrodo said:

You are my new hero.  
If I knew how to Internet better, I would give you a picture of a clapping bunny. 

I got your back @missfrodo

SP29

Good for you OP!! Damn girl, way to stand up for yourself and others.

P.S. I have this exact dress, in the berry colour. I love it. But I will agree it's not a dress that would look good on every body type. I also do not share your chesty-girl woes... 

P.P.S. Can you return it? 

missfrodo

@thisismynickname thank you!  That's exactly what I wanted!  

woodtdm

I think I am going to return it...I just have to the receipt :O

mntravelingmama

Thank you for this hugely entertaining thread!  I'm so glad you told her what other people are probably afraid to!  She has made such a fool out of herself. 

woodtdm

Thought I would update everyone on the status of the dress and bride. One of the bridesmaids would like to exchange her dress size for mine which is amazing for me because she was able to find her receipt. Now I can get a store credit.

The bad news is that all this stress has put the bride in the hospital with a "39mm gallstone" which she was in sooooooooo much pain she was able to social media every aspect of her experience from the ambulance ride to her cell phone possibly dying because she forgot the charger but remembered her laptop, to her demanding surgical intervention because her wedding is in a few months (May). Wow! She actually told the nurses she doesn't need the additional stress. Gawd! I feel for the nurses.

thisismynickname2

woodtdm said:

Thought I would update everyone on the status of the dress and bride. One of the bridesmaids would like to exchange her dress size for mine which is amazing for me because she was able to find her receipt. Now I can get a store credit.

The bad news is that all this stress has put the bride in the hospital with a "39mm gallstone" which she was in sooooooooo much pain she was able to social media every aspect of her experience from the ambulance ride to her cell phone possibly dying because she forgot the charger but remembered her laptop, to her demanding surgical intervention because her wedding is in a few months (May). Wow! She actually told the nurses she doesn't need the additional stress. Gawd! I feel for the nurses.

Jen4948

woodtdm said:

Thought I would update everyone on the status of the dress and bride. One of the bridesmaids would like to exchange her dress size for mine which is amazing for me because she was able to find her receipt. Now I can get a store credit.

The bad news is that all this stress has put the bride in the hospital with a "39mm gallstone" which she was in sooooooooo much pain she was able to social media every aspect of her experience from the ambulance ride to her cell phone possibly dying because she forgot the charger but remembered her laptop, to her demanding surgical intervention because her wedding is in a few months (May). Wow! She actually told the nurses she doesn't need the additional stress. Gawd! I feel for the nurses.

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kimmiinthemitten

This is how I picture your friend:

ShesSoCold

woodtdm said:

Thought I would update everyone on the status of the dress and bride. One of the bridesmaids would like to exchange her dress size for mine which is amazing for me because she was able to find her receipt. Now I can get a store credit.

The bad news is that all this stress has put the bride in the hospital with a "39mm gallstone" which she was in sooooooooo much pain she was able to social media every aspect of her experience from the ambulance ride to her cell phone possibly dying because she forgot the charger but remembered her laptop, to her demanding surgical intervention because her wedding is in a few months (May). Wow! She actually told the nurses she doesn't need the additional stress. Gawd! I feel for the nurses.

And I'd bet $1,000 that she doesn't realize that this is self-inflicted stress and she's BSC. I can't stand people like that.

frenchiekin

ShesSoCold said:

woodtdm said:

Thought I would update everyone on the status of the dress and bride. One of the bridesmaids would like to exchange her dress size for mine which is amazing for me because she was able to find her receipt. Now I can get a store credit.

The bad news is that all this stress has put the bride in the hospital with a "39mm gallstone" which she was in sooooooooo much pain she was able to social media every aspect of her experience from the ambulance ride to her cell phone possibly dying because she forgot the charger but remembered her laptop, to her demanding surgical intervention because her wedding is in a few months (May). Wow! She actually told the nurses she doesn't need the additional stress. Gawd! I feel for the nurses.

And I'd bet $1,000 that she doesn't realize that this is self-inflicted stress and she's BSC. I can't stand people like that.

IT'S A FUCKING PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.  I'd really hate to see what'd happen to her life if something actually bad and worth this much stress happened to her.  

When the party is over 6ish hours after it starts, will all of this really be worth it, REALLY?  OP, I know you know this - but I can't stress enough how big of a bullet you dodged.  Holy Santa Claus shit.

nerdwife

woodtdm said:

Thought I would update everyone on the status of the dress and bride. One of the bridesmaids would like to exchange her dress size for mine which is amazing for me because she was able to find her receipt. Now I can get a store credit.

The bad news is that all this stress has put the bride in the hospital with a "39mm gallstone" which she was in sooooooooo much pain she was able to social media every aspect of her experience from the ambulance ride to her cell phone possibly dying because she forgot the charger but remembered her laptop, to her demanding surgical intervention because her wedding is in a few months (May). Wow! She actually told the nurses she doesn't need the additional stress. Gawd! I feel for the nurses.

She took an ambulance?! I mean, does she live alone? Could she not wait for someone to drive her? I've had gallstones/my gallbladder removed and I was away at school at the time. I waited two hours for my mom to come pick me up and then the two hour drive back. I mean, it hurts, but it's not life-threatening. I cannot imagine calling 911 for something like that.

...but then again, this is not particularly surprising for someone like this.

drunkenwitch

Girl! You have got to keep us informed, I am dying to know how this wedding turns out.

woodtdm

She lives with her fiancee and her Mom lives on the outskirts of town. She didn't want to wait so she call the ambulance. He works 5 minutes away and her mom a half hour with traffic. If she waited it wouldn't have had the drama she craves. The hospital made her wait two days with nothing but an IV waiting for an MRI and results. Looks like she can go home and schedule the elective gallbladder removal surgery in four months time. By my calculations, that would bring it almost to May...She gets married May 21. Hmmmm, I wonder how this is going to play out.

banana468

And if she continues to have gallbladder attacks, the gallbladder diet is just delicious!!    Everyone loves to eat super bland nonfat foods. 

lyndausvi

woodtdm said:

She lives with her fiancee and her Mom lives on the outskirts of town. She didn't want to wait so she call the ambulance. He works 5 minutes away and her mom a half hour with traffic. If she waited it wouldn't have had the drama she craves. The hospital made her wait two days with nothing but an IV waiting for an MRI and results. Looks like she can go home and schedule the elective gallbladder removal surgery in four months time. By my calculations, that would bring it almost to May...She gets married May 21. Hmmmm, I wonder how this is going to play out.

Just waits till she gets the ambulance bill.   Then she will REALLY be asking for money.

woodtdm

Its only $35 here in Ottawa, Canada

lyndausvi

woodtdm said:

Its only $35 here in Ottawa, Canada

damn you Canadians and your cheap healthcare !!!

holyguacamole79

woodtdm said:

Its only $35 here in Ottawa, Canada

That could be cheaper than an Uber!

[Deleted User]

Not crazy. When I was a bride this is what my BM paid for

1. Their shoes, if they didn't have a pair they liked that would go with dress. I told them they could wear whatever shoe they wanted as long as it coordinated with the dress which was dark brown. My thinking is most women have a pair of dress black shoes that they love and that would be fine
2. Their hair & makeup, if they wanted. I didn't require any certain hair style or makeup. I told the girls where I was going to have my hair done & the cost & asked if anyone wanted me to make an appointment for them but that I was totally ok with them doing their own hair & makeup
3. They opted to throw me a bridal shower, I didn't ask for one. The mom's helped out too on this
4. They opted to throw me a bachelorette party, again I didn't ask for one and I loved that they kept it simple and did a girls night in where everyone brought a bottle of wine to share for informal wine tasting & we watched magic mike. They had asked me for input with planning and I told them I didn't want a night out on the town, that I was happy with a simple girls night in because for me it was more about spending time with them then going out & getting drunk.

 

I took care of their dresses and jewelry for them. Yes it was a gift since they didn't have to pay for them, but I didn't consider it their "thank you for being a BM" gift. I didn't even have them help me with any of the wedding preparations. Ok with the exception of my mom & sister (MOH), I was running short on time & asked for their help assembling the programs. Hurricane Sally (or whatever the name was) was coming through & our roof took a major hit & I was having to deal with that the week of my wedding so I ran out of time and they offered to help. I tried to do things so that my BM wouldn't have any stress and that besides having to wear certain things, stand up for the ceremony & be in photos, they got to have fun & party as much as any other guest.

mntravelingmama

Has she started a "gofundme" site yet?

woodtdm

For the surgery, or the wedding? The surgery is covered by the government and her wedding is almost paid for because of the amazing job her bridesmaids did and because she doesn't pay for anything. She did start a "honeypot". Is that like "donate" money for my honeymoon fund? Ridiculous is all I have to say

woodtdm

I just want to make sure that everyone is aware that ibis an ELECTIVE surgery. She doesn't need it because there was nothing on the MRI. She does have a gallstone but of she watches her diet band cuts out fast food she will make a full recovery.

madamerwin

woodtdm said:

I just want to make sure that everyone is aware that ibis an ELECTIVE surgery. She doesn't need it because there was nothing on the MRI. She does have a gallstone but of she watches her diet band cuts out fast food she will make a full recovery.

So, in Canada, surgery is covered even if it's not medically necessary? That's kind of crazy.

100yroldblinddog

woodtdm said:

Thought I would update everyone on the status of the dress and bride. One of the bridesmaids would like to exchange her dress size for mine which is amazing for me because she was able to find her receipt. Now I can get a store credit.

The bad news is that all this stress has put the bride in the hospital with a "39mm gallstone" which she was in sooooooooo much pain she was able to social media every aspect of her experience from the ambulance ride to her cell phone possibly dying because she forgot the charger but remembered her laptop, to her demanding surgical intervention because her wedding is in a few months (May). Wow! She actually told the nurses she doesn't need the additional stress. Gawd! I feel for the nurses.

Can we talk about this 35mm gallstone here? 1.5"?! That has to be the largest gallstone to ever exist, because it definitely exists at that size. I thought you were a badass, @woodtdm, but this bride is a true hero.

woodtdm

She only heard the 3 and 9. It was only 0.39mm. Since she called an ambulance and they have a gallbladder stone on file the surgery would be covered. They may refuse or keep pushing the surgery until she has another stone.