So my fiance and I have very different plans for our wedding than my mother does, who is a wedding planner by profession. My mother prefers that we celebrate in a catholic church, dinner followed by a dance, and all aunts and uncles invited. We only want to invite those who we are close with (I wouldn't be able to even recognize some of my aunts and uncles) not have a religious wedding, only have coffee and desserts to follow, and keep it to about 40 people.
Due to the differences my fiance decided to pay for our own wedding. Shortly after we advised my parents of our decision, she forged my signature and deposited money into my account (my mom is on my financial accounts for emergencies). I explained that we don't want the money and she said just to keep it, and use whatever we need for the wedding, and to keep the rest, but advised that she "expects" me to invite all of my (20+) aunts and uncles.
Not sure how to navigate this..
Re: Money Matters
And let her know that you and your FI will pay for and plan your own wedding, since your ideas about what you want are completely different from hers. Then you can ignore any "expectations" from her. If she tries to bring them up again, you can tell her, "Mom, since only we are paying, only we get a say."
If she threatens not to attend if you don't do what she wants, you can call her bluff: "I'm sorry to hear that you wouldn't enjoy our wedding, and we'll miss you, but that's your call."
This may now be the time to take mom off your bank account.
Anyway, give the money back and tell her thanks but no thanks.
You can't just switch accounts names. In order to get your mom off the account she has to sign off. I have a feeling she isn't going to do that willingly. Your best bet is to open up a new account (with or without your husband) and have the account with your mom just become inactive.
"Here's $1,000! This is payment for me and my three best girlfriends to be in the delivery room with you when you deliver your first baby."
"I'll give you a check for $800 every six months if your kid takes piano lessons instead of being on the soccer team."
Yeah, I think you might have to have a serious boundaries talk with dear old mom.
Make sure you and FI are 100% on the same page, so you can present a united front. I doubt just returning the money will end her "advising" you to invite everyone she wants, given the lengths she went to. Stay firm, and probably try not to talk to her to much about the wedding, if possible.