NOT MY THUNDER!

kimmiinthemitten

So what does your sister plan to do?  Has she talked to other bridesmaids?

I swear, becoming a bride can just bring out the worst in a person. If booze makes people honest, an engagement ring makes a bunch of people entitled!  

TrixieJess

charlotte989875 said:

Seriously, picking the same day as you, even after you sent the save the dates, and getting exasperated when she was told to change it? Your cousin is a special kind of spechul snowflake.

I agree with @SP29, this is a case where sure she does need to be the one to stand up for herself, but I think you can help her along there with language, encouragement, whatever.

What does she plan to do with the tools and equipment on her wedding day?

Maybe she's giving out tetanus shots as her wedding favour?

OurWildKingdom

TrixieJess said:

charlotte989875 said:

Seriously, picking the same day as you, even after you sent the save the dates, and getting exasperated when she was told to change it? Your cousin is a special kind of spechul snowflake.

I agree with @SP29, this is a case where sure she does need to be the one to stand up for herself, but I think you can help her along there with language, encouragement, whatever.

What does she plan to do with the tools and equipment on her wedding day?

Maybe she's giving out tetanus shots as her wedding favour?

I just snort-laughed at that, @TrixieJess!

Or the tools and equipment will be photo props. Group shot of everyone holding pitchforks or posing on a tractor.

[Deleted User]

Why do I want to see this whole situation played out in a movie so badly, though? Start writing your screenplay... you'll make millions!

MandTFebruary62011

dyerwise said:

banana468 said:

I hope your sister develops a backbone here.

But if this is a cousin, can other family talk sense into the cousin?    Is she wanting to get married because she gets a wedding or because of the lifetime commitment?   

If this was in my family the "elders" would be speaking up to say, "Your guests aren't sitting on hay bales".

Oh, it is most certainly just because she wants a wedding.


 As for the elders in our family. Sadly, at 27, I'm the most responsible and mature member of this side of the family and cousin hates me because 2 years ago I told her that her boyfriend (now FI) asking her to help him inject steroids was super not ok and told my Aunt about it. My Mom tries to stay out of everything because she is a recovering alcoholic and family drama has caused relapses before. My Cousins parents are getting a divorce and barely talks to cousin since her FI stole money from my Aunt.

My Cousin has said she will not be inviting her Mom and has asked my Mom to step in and be "Mother of the Bride". My Mom told her she needs to rethink a lot of her decisions and that she would love to be a guest on her special day she isn't her Mother. My cousin has never even been close with my Mom so it was super weird.

I really want to start secretly shipping wedding etiquette books to her house, but I don't think she would get the hint.

I've heard from my sister that Cousins FI's grandparents are paying for the wedding completely. My sister said they are super traditional and that cousin and FI have lied and said they do not live together as that was a condition of them paying for the wedding. I really want to know how that is going to go.

So now not only can bridesmaids be replaced but parents can too!  What great news!

kimmiinthemitten

MandTFebruary62011 said:

So now not only can bridesmaids be replaced but parents can too!  What great news!

Speaking of tools, this hit the nail on the head!  *rim shot*

PrettyGirlLost

dyerwise said:

I'm so sad for my sister because this is causing her so much stress; she has called me upset and says she just wants to drop out. I know that this is one of those times I have to let my sister handle this herself, but I have always been so protective of her so it is really difficult.

Tell your sister to send your cousin to us. . . we'll take care of her entitled, bratty little ass :-)

PrettyGirlLost

AtomicBlonde said:

I don't understand why people feel like weddings are competitions.  I GOT MARRIED FIRST SO I'M A WINNER AND YOU'RE JUST NOT.  That mentality makes zero sense.  

As for the barn...

They turn into competitions in the minds of your guests when you host them poorly.

Sounds like OP's cousin is fixing to have a Grade A, Certified Organic Shitshow, so you KNOW the guests in common will be comparing OP's wedding to the cousin's. . . in that they will be saying things like, "This venue is fantastic, isn't it?  I'm so glad we have AC and actual chairs, rather than having to sweat it out in a stinky old barn and sit on hay bales like Cousin's Wedding.  Ugh!  That was miserable."

dyerwise

My mom has said that cousin has been acting extra interested in anything relating to my wedding. Cousin asked my mom how much of the wedding we are DIY-ing and when my mom told her very little because I'm really busy with my full time job and helping a friend run her wedding dress store, and I'm not great at crafts, my cousin told her that I'm being lazy and wasting money when I should have my bridesmaids helping me. OKAY.

banana468

dyerwise said:

My mom has said that cousin has been acting extra interested in anything relating to my wedding. Cousin asked my mom how much of the wedding we are DIY-ing and when my mom told her very little because I'm really busy with my full time job and helping a friend run her wedding dress store, and I'm not great at crafts, my cousin told her that I'm being lazy and wasting money when I should have my bridesmaids helping me. OKAY.

So cousin is asking about your wedding to other people so she can tell other people how you're doing it "wrong".

Nice. 

missJeanLouise

She is probably making sure you aren't copying her.

MesmrEwe

kimmiinthemitten said:

MandTFebruary62011 said:

So now not only can bridesmaids be replaced but parents can too!  What great news!

Speaking of tools, this hit the nail on the head!  *rim shot*

This bride's cousin just has a few screws loose...

Or maybe the cousin can't tell the difference between a Philips and a Flat Head...  or a nut from a bolt... 

Time to put the hammer down..

Good Lord I need to go back to my day job - oh wait...

dyerwise

I had lunch with my little sister Saturday and OH BOY! She filled me in on all this mess.

1.) My sister went with cousin to visit the grandparents that are paying for the wedding and my sister slipped up (I believe her when she says it was an accident, but her subconscious couldn't keep it in) and mentioned that they live together. My cousin saved it by saying that it is a 3 bedroom house they do not share a bedroom.  Dang it!

2.) Cousin made all the bridesmaids buy or at least put a deposit down on their bridesmaids dress a few weeks ago. She told everyone if they didn't put a deposit down by x date then they wouldn't be "allowed" in her wedding. Cousin did help one bridesmaid with the deposit but has her on a strict repayment plan.

3.) Cousin has not yet bought a wedding dress and the wedding is scheduled for the first weekend of September. My sister seriously thinks that the wedding may be canceled or pushed out. Since they haven't put anything into the wedding financially themselves. 

4.) Cousin sent out save the dates to over 150 people. My sister asked how she is going to accommodate all 150 people for the wedding when she barn/property cannot hold that many people (very few bathrooms, small usable space) She said that save the dates are not invitations. My sister said she was super confused and just dropped it because cousin seemed so confident that my sister felt like she was losing it.

Heffalump

dyerwise said:

I had lunch with my little sister Saturday and OH BOY! She filled me in on all this mess.

1.) My sister went with cousin to visit the grandparents that are paying for the wedding and my sister slipped up (I believe her when she says it was an accident, but her subconscious couldn't keep it in) and mentioned that they live together. My cousin saved it by saying that it is a 3 bedroom house they do not share a bedroom.  Dang it!

2.) Cousin made all the bridesmaids buy or at least put a deposit down on their bridesmaids dress a few weeks ago. She told everyone if they didn't put a deposit down by x date then they wouldn't be "allowed" in her wedding. Cousin did help one bridesmaid with the deposit but has her on a strict repayment plan.

3.) Cousin has not yet bought a wedding dress and the wedding is scheduled for the first weekend of September. My sister seriously thinks that the wedding may be canceled or pushed out. Since they haven't put anything into the wedding financially themselves. 

4.) Cousin sent out save the dates to over 150 people. My sister asked how she is going to accommodate all 150 people for the wedding when she barn/property cannot hold that many people (very few bathrooms, small usable space) She said that save the dates are not invitations. My sister said she was super confused and just dropped it because cousin seemed so confident that my sister felt like she was losing it.

dyerwise

Sorry, another update.. 125 people RSVP'd to the wedding and my cousin is freaking out. Sister says the space can only reasonably hold ~80 people.  When my sister asked how many people cousin invited, she replied, "I don't know!".... how... do you not know?

My sister said cousin is hoping "a lot of people don't show up."

The wedding is 09/03.. cannot wait.

downtondiva

If the wedding is on 09/03, I anticipate this will be me on 09/04...

[Deleted User]

So she's hoping 40 people who've already rsvped yes won't show? Right....

theycallmelinz

Gahhh I'm pretty excited for the post wedding update on this train wreck. 

drunkenwitch

I had forgotten about this thread. Can't wait for the update.

DrillSergeantCat

I am so in love with this thread that I'm thinking of leaving my fiance to marry it instead. 

dyerwise

Sadly, I was not invited, however, my sister has promised to fill me on every detail. She said she'll "live tweet it", I said, "that's very bold of you and since when do you have twitter?" since she rarely goes online and has only recently got Instagram. She said, "I'll just text you things during it. isn't it the same thing?". Bless her.

theycallmelinz

dyerwise said:

Sadly, I was not invited, however, my sister has promised to fill me on every detail. She said she'll "live tweet it", I said, "that's very bold of you and since when do you have twitter?" since she rarely goes online and has only recently got Instagram. She said, "I'll just text you things during it. isn't it the same thing?". Bless her. 

Do you feel slighted by not being invited? She probably just doesn't want you to steal her ideas so her wedding can be the best hahaha

kmmssg

I so look forward to the update.

drunkenwitch

dyerwise said:

Sadly, I was not invited, however, my sister has promised to fill me on every detail. She said she'll "live tweet it", I said, "that's very bold of you and since when do you have twitter?" since she rarely goes online and has only recently got Instagram. She said, "I'll just text you things during it. isn't it the same thing?". Bless her.

That's adorable.

dyerwise

theycallmelinz said:

dyerwise said:

Sadly, I was not invited, however, my sister has promised to fill me on every detail. She said she'll "live tweet it", I said, "that's very bold of you and since when do you have twitter?" since she rarely goes online and has only recently got Instagram. She said, "I'll just text you things during it. isn't it the same thing?". Bless her. 

Do you feel slighted by not being invited? She probably just doesn't want you to steal her ideas so her wedding can be the best hahaha

My feelings are so hurt, but i would for sure steal all of their ideas!

But on a real note, I am kind of jealous of her wedding date because it is 09/03... which is Bob and Linda(Bob's Burgers) wedding anniversary and I love it so much.

Its easy to remember, 09/03, because 9 is divisible by 3!

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_cAm7iLs-zM" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

theycallmelinz

Am I the only one who jumped on TK this morning ready for an update to this?

dyerwise

My sister is going to call me once she is off today with the full details. I got one text from her Friday saying that cousin "went atomic" on her Thursday night. Sister said a BM was asked not show up for the wedding because of her attitude. Sister thinks this has something to do with the ever sought after, even sides.

Sister has been fairly unreachable over the long weekend because of the wedding and some of her BF's family has visiting from out of town.

Here are the updates I have from my mom:

Ceremony was outdoors, reception was in the barn.

Hay bale seating during ceremony, Mom said some bales were soggy and smelled like rot so a lot of guests stood  for the ceremony.

Champagne toast for only the wedding party members.

Hardly any lighting in the barn for dinner after sunset. Many guests using their phones for light.

Barn was "gross, smelled bad, like animals, and everything was covered in dust and cobwebs." Mom also said she saw at least 2 scorpions, which made her realized why the bride kept telling all guests to wear cowboy boots. (I didn't know cowboy boots protected you from scorpions.. but thats my mom's logic)

Barely enough food for everyone, no order to what table went to the buffet line when.

Cake only for the couple, "candy buffet" for everyone else. Mom said: "Candy buffet! it was mostly just starburst!"

DrillSergeantCat

dyerwise said:

My sister is going to call me once she is off today with the full details. I got one text from her Friday saying that cousin "went atomic" on her Thursday night. Sister said a BM was asked not show up for the wedding because of her attitude. Sister thinks this has something to do with the ever sought after, even sides.

Sister has been fairly unreachable over the long weekend because of the wedding and some of her BF's family has visiting from out of town.

Here are the updates I have from my mom:

Ceremony was outdoors, reception was in the barn.

Hay bale seating during ceremony, Mom said some bales were soggy and smelled like rot so a lot of guests stood  for the ceremony.

Champagne toast for only the wedding party members.

Hardly any lighting in the barn for dinner after sunset. Many guests using their phones for light.

Barn was "gross, smelled bad, like animals, and everything was covered in dust and cobwebs." Mom also said she saw at least 2 scorpions, which made her realized why the bride kept telling all guests to wear cowboy boots. (I didn't know cowboy boots protected you from scorpions.. but thats my mom's logic)

Barely enough food for everyone, no order to what table went to the buffet line when.

Cake only for the couple, "candy buffet" for everyone else. Mom said: "Candy buffet! it was mostly just starburst!"

I'd be beyond pissed. The last wedding I went to was basically just apps (cheese, crackers, fruit, and chicken fingers) and cake. They ran out of everything really early but at least I got cake. To run out of food and then not offer cake??? No. I have no words. 

thisismynickname2

dyerwise said:

Ceremony was outdoors, reception was in the barn.

Hay bale seating during ceremony, Mom said some bales were soggy and smelled like rot so a lot of guests stood  for the ceremony.

Hardly any lighting in the barn for dinner after sunset. Many guests using their phones for light.

Barn was "gross, smelled bad, like animals, and everything was covered in dust and cobwebs." Mom also said she saw at least 2 scorpions, which made her realized why the bride kept telling all guests to wear cowboy boots. (I didn't know cowboy boots protected you from scorpions.. but thats my mom's logic)

Barely enough food for everyone, no order to what table went to the buffet line when.

Cake only for the couple, "candy buffet" for everyone else. Mom said: "Candy buffet! it was mostly just starburst!"

Honestly, I can suck it up with the best of 'em, but if I found rotten seating and a smelly barn for a reception, I would have snuck out after giving my best wishes to the happy couple. 

flantastic

I would have noped out of there after one scorpion.