Wedding Reception Forum
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Re: .

  • There is nothing whatsoever polite about inviting people to witness your wedding ceremony and then telling them, "That's it, good-bye" immediately afterwards while offering them no hospitality whatsoever.

    The purpose of a reception to follow the ceremony is to thank the guests for attending the ceremony. By not having any hospitality after the ceremony, you're not thanking your guests for the time, money, and energy they took out of their lives to attend a major event in yours -- regardless of what you do for them the night before. That's such a big slap in their faces that there are no activities or other things you can do or offer to compensate for such a massive gesture of rudeness.
  • You should just elope if you don't want to have a reception. It is terribly rude not to thank your guests for witnessing your ceremony by hosting them for a bit. Like PPs have said, it doesn't have to be elaborate or long. Cake and punch for a couple of hours.
  • Just....why?
                 
  • No no no no no. Just no. You must host your guests after the ceremony. If you don't want to or for some reason can't, then you cannot have guests at all.
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  • levioosalevioosa member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited July 2016
    Wtf?  So you want to make people travel out to a location for you twice?  And you're not even going to host them properly? Are you fucking kidding?  This is so rude.  


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  • MCmeowMCmeow member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    Im pretty curious to know why you don't have a few hours to spare after your ceremony, it's pretty strange. But yes please listen to the previous posters, it may not be what you want to hear but it's necessary to know.
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  • Why in the world are you having a rehearsal for a ceremony, a rehearsal dinner, and a ceremony, but no reception?

    If you have budget concerns, then don't do the rehearsal or rehearsal dinner (I didn't have those, and everyone managed to walk down an aisle.)
    If you have center-of-attention concerns, your argument is already invalidated by being the center of attention at your rehearsal and rehearsal dinner. 

    Make the rehearsal the real-deal and have your planned dinner be the actual reception. Clearly you don't care about the minority of people invited to your current ceremony who aren't already attending your rehearsal, so who cares if they're not coming the previous evening now?
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  • OP - Would you attend a wedding ceremony knowing that the ceremony was it? I wouldn't. I can only assume you're having very few guests if you are having the majority of them at the rehearsal. 
  • donethatdonethat member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2016
    @knottie83851520

    People on these boards actually do want to help, but, none of us understands the WHY of your plan.  It doesn't make sense.

    Rehearsal Dinners:
    1)  a nice thank you to everyone who got to (had to!) participate in the wedding ceremony rehearsal that proceeded the dinner
    2)  a nice time to thank everyone involved in the wedding
    3)  a chance for wedding party and families to get to know each other a little better before the wedding day
    4)  a chance to thank and host out of town and special guests who went out of their way to be part of your celebration.
    5)  and can turn into whatever kind and size of celebration you want.  Dancing?  sure.  Games?  OK! Toasts and/or roasts/ and or stories?  Always!  

    So, why is the night before the ceremony the party with many/most of the guests included?    And, why isn't there ANY sort of reception (punch and cake, lemonade and peanuts, bingo, dancing, anything......) following your vows?  Why?

    Maybe you should invite EVERYONE to the night before - call it wedding pregame reception party - tell everyone that you're fun and having a pre-reception, because the next day following your vows you will simply be too caught up in each other and anxious for the honeymoon .... but you still want to host/THANK everyone.  Everyone.  Is that it?  

    Again - everyone gets to go the night before, or please host some sort / any sort of post-wedding-ceremony reception where you and new hubby great and host and thank all of your dear friends and family who attended the ceremony.  


  • I've heard of couples that leave their receptions super early, like they only stay for an hour of a 4 hour reception, which still seems kind of rude to me but at least they're properly hosting their guests and thanking them for witnessing their ceremony.  Sounds like you need to either move your ceremony forward, so you have time to host your reception, or make an appearance at the reception and then high-tail it while your guests party.  I would totally side-eye a couple who missed their own reception, as the party is the fun part, but I would really not be okay at all if I went to someone's wedding, especially if I took off work or traveled more than 30 minutes, and they didn't host ANYTHING after the fact.  What if some of your guests can't make it to the night-before party?  They just don't get a thank-you, even though they are going to your wedding?
  • So is your plan to get married, leave and then get in the car straight away? If you do this expect no one to come expect maybe parents. People want to celebrate with you and they'll want to take pictures and talk about how pretty your dress was, I know I would feel so deflated if you got married and then nothing else happened. It would be like well what do we do now just go home and get takeout?
  • I'm anxiously awaiting OP to come back and explain why they are leaving immediately after the ceremony. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • AddieCake said:
    I'm anxiously awaiting OP to come back and explain why they are leaving immediately after the ceremony. 
    I'm guessing she isn't coming back because we all told her what she is planning is rude.
  • We could all give our own speculation for their reason. I think they want their "get away" photo op from the church to be the real thing and actually leave their guests standing on the steps waving good-bye to them.
  • edited July 2016
    geebee908 said:
    We could all give our own speculation for their reason. I think they want their "get away" photo op from the church to be the real thing and actually leave their guests standing on the steps waving good-bye to them.
    Oooooh!  I think the people paying for the RD are the groom's parents (regardless of the "we are hosting" in the OP) and the B&G want to get out of spending money on a reception.  They see this as a loop hole.  Because they are cheap.
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  • I think they witnessed a mob hit and are joining the Witness Protection Program.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I'm guessing there's something supernatural involved. 
  • They're going to a fundamentalist religious retreat for their honeymoon where there is no drinking or dancing, so they want to get into the right mindset.
  • I'm changing mine. Elvis is going to beam them up in his spaceship immediately after the vows.  They must return their home planet.
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  • I think they are secretly extra-terrestrials who forgot about the time difference between Earth & their planet when planning their wedding. Immediately after the ceremony they have to skedaddle, otherwise their super space-age polymer plastic human suits will start to disintegrate right in front of their guests.
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