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Knottie83851520 said:We have waited four years to consummate this relationship, and our first night as a couple will not be spent doing so in one of our hometown's dingy hotels or the bride's room in her parent's house.
The sex isn't going to be that great, regardless of location. Don't alienate your parents' friends, coworkers and damage theirs and your own relationships because you have to have your first awful sex in a pretty place. Pull it together and be a decent person to your guests.
I'm thinking this has to be a MUD. I refuse to accept people actually think about visions of consummation and treating their guests like crap.Of course, I might just be delusional. SITB I came here to make this exact post, it hurts my heart to think there are people out there this selfish and shortsighted as to prioritize what will almost undoubtedly be an uneventful if not awkward/terrible first serial experience over treating their guests like anything above annoying garbage. Seriously, OP if you are a real live human being, read every post in this thread a hundred times and realize the only thing people here want is for you to treat your guests with respect and not sour literally every other relationship you have with these people. If you get married and then don't have some kind of reception, cake and punch in a church basement, you will ruin your future with these people. They won't like you and they'll think you're at best rude and immature. You have so many options but thinking ceremony = finally sex means you have to grow the fuck up and act like the adult your supposedly are instead of a toddler who doesn't understand that other people have feelings too.If you are real and not just a shitty troll, just elope and do your guests a favor of not inviting them to your pre-sex ritual, that way you don't have to worry about being a good host and can fuck away right after you say "I do" since you obviously don't care about celebrating with your guests afterwards, it's all about you and your new spouse and you finally sticking your stuff together. That's what your wedding is about it seems.
Thank you to the few and rare genuinely helpful posts. If there was a way to continue this thread with only those people, I would gladly elaborate further, and explain the ins-and-outs of some of the bizarre situation we've found ourselves in.With that said, know this - every person we've spoken to (both invitees near the wedding location, and visitors from across the country) have been supportive and complimented the idea posed in the original post. We've been told it's quirky, fun, unique, and modern. I didn't come here to be drug behind a metaphoric bus; I came here looking for creative ideas to make the wedding dinner an effective replacement for a traditional reception.You have called me rude, immature, selfish, and single-focused... but I would suggest that you are exactly that. Instead of helping, you have been rude and crass in your demeanor, immature in your name calling and assumptions, and can't wrap your minds around the idea of someone doing something differently than the way you think it should be done. Because of you, I refuse to provide any more information for you to utilize as ammunition in your hateful mocking of me and my wedding plans.Out of all these garbage comments, I have gleaned a few pieces of valuable knowledge. Some of that will find it's way incorporated into our plans for the big day. Most of it will be shared with friends for a good laugh, and then forgotten about. And again - to the few people who were kind in their words, and offered genuine insight (beyond, "Screw you, just elope... then people won't hate you as much.") - thank you. I appreciate the wisdom you shared.
On a side note losing your virginity in a hotel room or a family home isn't going to ruin your moment. I have a friend who had sex for the first time in her garage, to this day she can't smell petrol or fill up her car without getting turned onSITB B...B...But my perfect wedding night vision! It's got to go exactly as planned! Never mind that most people's first times are awkward and sometimes it just plain old doesn't work, never mind those few guests who I didn't want to invite but still did, so they don't get anything but a great story to tell when people are talking about bad weddings they've been to. I can't compromise and leave the next day or plan an indoor wedding earlier, my vision!
I'm late to this thread but I guess I'm just wondering why, for a 70 person wedding, someone would have a 58 person rehearsal dinner? Why not just add those 12 people to the rehearsal dinner and get married right before it (or during it, whatever).Then cancel the party on Saturday and get to the hotel early. There, more time for sex in the pretty hotel room (because after waiting so long, it's clearly more about the surroundings than it is about the person, right?)
OP: "we are planning to do this rude thing, is it a good idea?"
Everyone: "No, because etiquette. Here are some good alternatives so you aren't rude to your guests."
OP: "well I'm doing it anyway because I don't want to wait a couple hours to bone."
Everyone: "Srsly? Mmkay...well here are some alternatives."
OP: "but but but REASONS that support me being rude so I can have sex!"
Take a damn hint OP.
OP: "we are planning to do this rude thing, is it a good idea?"Everyone: "No, because etiquette. Here are some good alternatives so you aren't rude to your guests."OP: "well I'm doing it anyway because I don't want to wait a couple hours to bone."Everyone: "Srsly? Mmkay...well here are some alternatives."OP: "but but but REASONS that support me being rude so I can have sex!"Everyone: "No"Take a damn hint OP.
I know OP isn't coming back, but I highly doubt that her parents are A-OK with this plan. It is their friends that will be getting the shaft (see what I did there - tee hee). If I were bride's parents, I'd be pissed that my friends are the ones being left out of having a dinner or meal of any kind after the "ceremony" the next day. So for OP to say that everyone loves their idea, that has to be a big nope.
Another thing I don't get. OP - are you going to have the sex after the RD wedding? Or are you waiting until after Jesus says you're married at the church the next day?