Wedding Reception Forum

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Re: .

  • edited July 2016
    To clear up a couple of the areas mentioned in an attempt to try and understand the situation a little better:

    The wedding is an evening wedding because of temperature/weather concerns... and the honeymoon location is a 3 hour drive away. Moving the wedding to an earlier time would likely cause heat strokes, and to stay for a reception would put us outside of our honeymoon destination's check-in hours.
    We have waited four years to consummate this relationship, and our first night as a couple will not be spent doing so in one of our hometown's dingy hotels or the bride's room in her parent's house.

    Almost everyone will be present at the dinner the night before... even people not involved in the rehearsal. All family will be present along with all out-of-town friends. The list of invitees is roughly 70 people, and 58 of those will be in attendance at the rehearsal dinner. The only people who will attend the wedding and not the dinner are people who we are obligated to invite because of parents. 
  • It's not poor planning. It's the best compromise that's been presented with a couple that lives 3,000 miles apart, the budget we have, and the weather conditions of the wedding location.
  • Ok. Thanks for your genuine attempt to help. You obviously understand the logistics of my wedding better than I do myself, and I cede to your superior knowledge. Please, plan my wedding for me... money, comfort, and personal tastes are no longer an option - I'll listen to your every word.
  • Also, I've never heard of a place having hours you can't check into AFTER, only before. Is this like a bed and breakfast?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • AddieCake said:
    Also, I've never heard of a place having hours you can't check into AFTER, only before. Is this like a bed and breakfast?
    I work for big and small hotels around the country.  I've also have travelled around the world staying various sized hotels/guest houses.

      Yeah, it's fairly rare to not be able to check-in basically anytime you want.      Sure you might have to make special arrangements, but it's possible.     In April we showed up at 2am.  I called the place, told them my arrival.  NBD.

    Now if they are going through Airbnb, then I get it.  Although that goes back to poor planning.  There is ZERO reason why they can't host their guests appropriately.  People have been getting married for years and up until recently most of them were virgins.  These are the same people who taught us how to host people properly.    It's really not that hard.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • edited July 2016
    To clear up a couple of the areas mentioned in an attempt to try and understand the situation a little better:

    The wedding is an evening wedding because of temperature/weather concerns... and the honeymoon location is a 3 hour drive away. Moving the wedding to an earlier time would likely cause heat strokes, and to stay for a reception would put us outside of our honeymoon destination's check-in hours.
    We have waited four years to consummate this relationship, and our first night as a couple will not be spent doing so in one of our hometown's dingy hotels or the bride's room in her parent's house.

    Almost everyone will be present at the dinner the night before... even people not involved in the rehearsal. All family will be present along with all out-of-town friends. The list of invitees is roughly 70 people, and 58 of those will be in attendance at the rehearsal dinner. The only people who will attend the wedding and not the dinner are people who we are obligated to invite because of parents. 
    Are you fucking serious?

    If I was a guest to your wedding and I found out you were treating me like crap and not hosting me just so you can go screw I'd be livid.  Consumate your relationship now if that will save you from being rude to your guests.

    Or how about you set up a special late check in with your hotel.  Most do that.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We checked into our hotel at 2am. No special request required. I suppose if it's a B&B or AirBnB it would be different, but public lodgings would have someone on site 24/7 in case of emergencies. Anyway, the sex happened around 3:30am. Tired? yes. I definitely thought about waiting until the morning, but it happened.

    This is entirely poor planning. If the weather is too hot- get married indoors! No indoors? Then you need to pick a different venue. Have a morning wedding with brunch reception when it's cooler, then you'll have many hours to travel. Still too hot? Get married indoors.

    I don't see what 3000 miles apart has anything to do with anything. DH and I lived 3000km away from where we got married. We stayed at a hotel the night of our wedding then spent the remaining 3 days sleeping on an air mattress in my dad's basement rec room until we returned home (no hanky panky there).

    As for budget, as you have been told, after your ceremony you are only required to host something as simple as some beverages and snacks, cut and serve your wedding cake (cake and punch reception- as long as it's not a meal time). This only needs to last 2 hours max. This is a very budget friendly option.

    Also, there is no reason why you need a rehearsal and thus rehearsal dinner. Why are you inviting 58 people out of a 70 person guest list to the RD? That's a significant budget line item. Changing this around would solve a lot of your budget issues.

    The answer is: No, you cannot only have a ceremony without a reception immediately after. You must thank ALL guests for attending your ceremony.

    If you really don't want to thank the remaining 12 people for attending your wedding, then don't invite them at all! Have the whole wedding on what is currently your RD. You've saved yourself stress, being rude and money!


  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2016
    I completely missed that the bride lives at home. Where does the groom live? Where are you going to live after the wedding? Why can't you do it there?

    ETA: JFC and I seem also to have missed the 3,000 miles apart thing. 

    My my vote goes back to leave the next day if you can't check in late (which I'd still like more clarification on).
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • This is probably one of the lamest reasons to skip having a reception. I too have waited until we get married....yet we have not only managed to figure out how to have a reception but are also EXCITED for the opportunity to celebrate our new marriage with all of our friends and family after the ceremony. 
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