Vegetarian wedding

mandi12

I know it can be done... having a vegetarian meal as a die hard meat eater. my fiancee is ridiculously "meat n potatoes" and the vegetarian places I've taken him to have ended up on his favorites list.... but we're on a TIGHT budget and the really flavorful fancy stuff just ain't gonna happen. In fact were bordering on doing hor d'oeuvres only to try and save. We found a place that offers a decent selection of vegetarian plated options and they're willing to work with us if we have suggestions. I'm trying to get input bc he's ok with going vegetarian (and financially it works great to stay in budget) but I'm getting push back from family. Has anyone successfully worked a vegetarian wedding n shut up the critics? Or are we being "unreasonable?"
Side note: This is our second wedding (for each of us) and it's a celebration for US this time around. (Especially since we're financing the whole thing and only asking for company, NO gifts.) So we feel like all bets are off here. As in dont bother us with obsessive etiquette, we've done the classy thing with our 1st weddings.

ernursej

mandi12 said:

I know it can be done... having a vegetarian meal as a die hard meat eater. my fiancee is ridiculously "meat n potatoes" and the vegetarian places I've taken him to have ended up on his favorites list.... but we're on a TIGHT budget and the really flavorful fancy stuff just ain't gonna happen. In fact were bordering on doing hor d'oeuvres only to try and save. We found a place that offers a decent selection of vegetarian plated options and they're willing to work with us if we have suggestions. I'm trying to get input bc he's ok with going vegetarian (and financially it works great to stay in budget) but I'm getting push back from family. Has anyone successfully worked a vegetarian wedding n shut up the critics? Or are we being "unreasonable?"
Side note: This is our second wedding (for each of us) and it's a celebration for US this time around. (Especially since we're financing the whole thing and only asking for company, NO gifts.) So we feel like all bets are off here. As in dont bother us with obsessive etiquette, we've done the classy thing with our 1st weddings.

You can serve any kind of food your would like to provided it is appropriate to the time of day. A few passed apps over the dinner hour wouldn't work but you could certainly do that between meal time hours.

If the majority of your guests are vegetarians, an all vegetarian meal would make sense. If you are going all vegetarian to save some money, see if there is something else you can cut to offer some sort of protein. Not a requirement but considers your guests who may be used to eating an animal protein at meal times.

Note - you cannot say "no gifts" on anything wedding related. If someone asks, let them know that you don't require anything and are just looking forward to joining together with friends and family to celebrate. You should never expect gifts so saying no gifts basically says that normally you would be expecting but don't want anyone to bring gifts.

Classy thing vs. whatever you are doing this time around doesn't mean etiquette has less of a place. Etiquette is to ensure that you are thinking appropriately and considerate of your guests. The type of event, casual vs. formal doesn't matter.

lyndausvi

I'm not sure why you are even consulting family/friends on the menu.   I rarely know what food is going to be severed before I get to most events.  Now,  you should consider dietary restrictions like GF and have a decent variety of foods, but other than that there is no need to tell people.

As long as you have enough food for the time of day you should be okay.  Watch out for hor d'oeuvres.   They can be sometimes MORE expensive because they are more time consuming to make.  Labor = more money.  Not always, but can be.


Since you are are on a limited budget why not try a brunch or lunch time wedding?  They are often less expensive.

Gifts are never to be expected, so no need to mention no gifts.

ei34

mandi12 said:

Side note: This is our second wedding (for each of us) and it's a celebration for US this time around. (Especially since we're financing the whole thing and only asking for company, NO gifts.) So we feel like all bets are off here. As in dont bother us with obsessive etiquette, we've done the classy thing with our 1st weddings.

Just commenting on this- as soon as you decide to have guests at your wedding (so you're not eloping or having a private wedding), the celebration is for everyone.  Guest comfort and convenience is of utmost importance, whether it's your 1st wedding or your 21st.  

That said, all vegetarian is fine as long as there's a good variety of food and enough for the time of day.  If any guests have allergies or health-related diet requirements, those needs should be met.  

downtondiva

You don't need to get prior approval from your family/friends for the wedding menu unless they're paying. The only reason to consult with them is to accommodate any dietary restrictions (health related or religious) and food allergies.

That said, if you want to avoid people complaining to you after the fact, you may want to have available at least some vegetarian foods that would be familiar to everyone, such as eggplant parmesan or pasta dishes. That way nobody can complain that you that you had all "weird" food. 

charlotte989875

mandi12 said:

I know it can be done... having a vegetarian meal as a die hard meat eater. my fiancee is ridiculously "meat n potatoes" and the vegetarian places I've taken him to have ended up on his favorites list.... but we're on a TIGHT budget and the really flavorful fancy stuff just ain't gonna happen. In fact were bordering on doing hor d'oeuvres only to try and save. We found a place that offers a decent selection of vegetarian plated options and they're willing to work with us if we have suggestions. I'm trying to get input bc he's ok with going vegetarian (and financially it works great to stay in budget) but I'm getting push back from family. Has anyone successfully worked a vegetarian wedding n shut up the critics? Or are we being "unreasonable?"
Side note: This is our second wedding (for each of us) and it's a celebration for US this time around. (Especially since we're financing the whole thing and only asking for company, NO gifts.) So we feel like all bets are off here. As in dont bother us with obsessive etiquette, we've done the classy thing with our 1st weddings.

Etiquette has nothing to do with being classy or fancy or obsessive, it's just about treating your guests well. As long as there is enough food for the time of day, drinks hosted consistently throughout the evening, appropriate temperature, seating for every guest you're free to serve whatever style of food you like. What's obsessive about that?

One thing to think about, you say your FI is ridiculously meat and potatoes, does he actually want a vegetarian wedding? You may want to price it out but I'm not sure strict vegetarian options are going to be cheaper (they weren't at my venue). 

lnixon8

Are you sure you don't want to just elope? You're talking about getting your friends and family to "shut up" for goodness sake.

If not, talk to a Italian restaurant- even Olive Garden or Maggianos. Eggplant Parmesan, spaghetti with marinara and buffalo mozzarella, cheese/mushroom ravioli are all nice choices. Salad, breadsticks, apps like brochette and cheese and crackers are all tasty and inexpensive. Stay away from "fake" meat like tofu meatballs.

LondonLisa

If you don't want to deal with guests, then why have guests in the first place? You seem very hostile to them, almost like you are inviting them out of spite. Having a vegetarian meal is absolutely fine. But what is not fine is not feeding people appropriately for the time of day (canapes only during a meal time), saying its a celebration is just for us (your CEREMONY is for you, your reception is for your guests), and telling guests to just shut up.

That being said, have you thought of doing a late evening, dessert-only reception? Get married at 8:30pm  and then serve lots of different cakes/ /desserts along with some simple veggie and cheese trays? If you are so concerned with a vegetarian meal, and budget is an issue, most people wouldn't even notice a dessert reception that was vegetarian. 

climbingsingle

mandi12 said:

I know it can be done... having a vegetarian meal as a die hard meat eater. my fiancee is ridiculously "meat n potatoes" and the vegetarian places I've taken him to have ended up on his favorites list.... but we're on a TIGHT budget and the really flavorful fancy stuff just ain't gonna happen. In fact were bordering on doing hor d'oeuvres only to try and save. We found a place that offers a decent selection of vegetarian plated options and they're willing to work with us if we have suggestions. I'm trying to get input bc he's ok with going vegetarian (and financially it works great to stay in budget) but I'm getting push back from family. Has anyone successfully worked a vegetarian wedding n shut up the critics? Or are we being "unreasonable?"
Side note: This is our second wedding (for each of us) and it's a celebration for US this time around. (Especially since we're financing the whole thing and only asking for company, NO gifts.) So we feel like all bets are off here. As in dont bother us with obsessive etiquette, we've done the classy thing with our 1st weddings.

Why are you even inviting guests? It doesn't sound like you actually want to host people. 

It's fine to serve a completely vegetarian meal.  You don't need to run your menu by your guests for approval. But you don't need to be a rude host. 

southernbelle0915

mandi12 said:

Side note: This is our second wedding (for each of us) and it's a celebration for US this time around. (Especially since we're financing the whole thing and only asking for company, NO gifts.) So we feel like all bets are off here. As in dont bother us with obsessive etiquette, we've done the classy thing with our 1st weddings.

"classy" and "etiquette" are not the same thing. Etiquette just means being polite to people and following basic hosting rules. 

You can still have an "US" wedding and follow basic hosting rules. If that means having a vegetarian menu, then have a vegetarian menu. No one is stopping you. Just stop asking for your family's input if you are going to do whatever you want anyway. That's like when your friends say "where do you want to eat?" and you're like "I think La..." "OK well I want Qdoba." Why ask, you know?

Pick a couple of heavier vegetarian dishes like vegetable lasagna, mushroom risotto, vegetarian pot pie...you get the picture. 

ahoywedding

Maybe price it out before you decide to write off meat completely? Our caterer charged $x for each entree choice, whether it was meat or not. That being said, the reception is a thank you to your guests for attending your ceremony, so if you know a lot of them would be upset without a meat option for dinner it's kind of a jerk move to not offer one. If you don't want to deal with guests and their opinions, you can always elope. 

If you're on a tight budget, heavy apps may not be any more economical, but again get some pricing info. PPs also had great suggestions regarding a brunch reception mid-afternoon, or late evening, when guests wouldn't expect a full meal. It takes a significant amount of apps to equal a full meal.

mandi12

To update everyone... my biggest issue was asking ppls opinions on what vegetarian means they prefer so I can please everyone and getting yelled at for considering it.  (Immediate family, no they're not just assholes I keep around lol) we narrowed it Down tho. A pasta dish and a heavy mushroom dish. Maybe stuffed portobello. Either one comes with sides of course. But the place we found will w do a late night snack as well while staying in our budget.  So mini pizzas and a nacho station too. Everyone who complained before likes it. So I think we have a good compromise. Plus I'm super excited about the create your own nacho station!

OurWildKingdom

mandi12 said:

To update everyone... my biggest issue was asking ppls opinions on what vegetarian means they prefer so I can please everyone and getting yelled at for considering it.  (Immediate family, no they're not just assholes I keep around lol) we narrowed it Down tho. A pasta dish and a heavy mushroom dish. Maybe stuffed portobello. Either one comes with sides of course. But the place we found will w do a late night snack as well while staying in our budget.  So mini pizzas and a nacho station too. Everyone who complained before likes it. So I think we have a good compromise. Plus I'm super excited about the create your own nacho station!

That sounds delicious! I'm pescetarian and have found that "approachable" foods like pasta, tacos, pizza, etc. tend to go over best with those who are skeptical about vegetarian food. FW is a hard-core meat and potatoes person but will happily eat most things like that.

SP29

Those meal options sound good!

I was going to suggest a pasta- easy to go vegetarian with that, and *most* people like pasta. I was also going to suggest stuffed mushrooms. Other options include veggie lasagna, risotto, soup, salad, stir fry and stuffed peppers.

short+sassy

I eat meat with almost every meal.  I would never side-eye someone for serving me something vegetarian, but it probably wouldn't be my first choice either.  With that said, I think your menu choices sound awesome.  You especially have me "sold" on the stuffed portabella mushroom, lol.

Jen4948

That sounds great!

sams740

Really some non-veg diet people feel very angry and their feelings like