Do you find the bouquet toss offensive?

OwningAHome1981

I'm on & off these boards. I was married, divorced and now I am engaged and getting re-married. I've been here a long time but I'm not active all the time. I come & go, so I'm not a regular and the last time I was on here prior to now was about 9 mos ago. I'm not sitting here with a TK rule book memorizing every single do & don't.

Obv I was attacked. People making an issue and calling me out on it is an attack. I was commenting to try & be helpful to someone who was maybe in a similar situation. I realize the thread may have been older. I wasn't addressing that person. I was commenting in a general sense.

These boards are not that active. Some things even closer to the top are pretty old. It's a natural reaction to see something relatable & comment on it. I do't always look @ every single date on every single post.

There have been times that I have posted a new thread only to then have someone say "this is already in a prior thread"... so what gives then?

charlotte989875

OwningAHome1981 said:

If someone has something to say that can help someone why does it matter how old a thread is? if it can't help the OP maybe it can help someone else. Ever think maybe the problem isn't me digging up old threads but that you are getting so annoyed easily by it. WHO GIVES A HOOT? If I see something I don't like, I move on with my life. I don't call people out on it.

OwningAHome1981 said:

I'm on & off these boards. I was married, divorced and now I am engaged and getting re-married. I've been here a long time but I'm not active all the time. I come & go, so I'm not a regular and the last time I was on here prior to now was about 9 mos ago. I'm not sitting here with a TK rule book memorizing every single do & don't.

Obv I was attacked. People making an issue and calling me out on it is an attack. I was commenting to try & be helpful to someone who was maybe in a similar situation. I realize the thread may have been older. I wasn't addressing that person. I was commenting in a general sense.

These boards are not that active. Some things even closer to the top are pretty old. It's a natural reaction to see something relatable & comment on it. I do't always look @ every single date on every single post.

There have been times that I have posted a new thread only to then have someone say "this is already in a prior thread"... so what gives then?

I kind of don't get evither of these responses TBH. On this thread there were a variety of responses to your initial post opening this thread again, and many people disagreed with the advice to close it/tell you not to post.

Many people even agreed with you. No one attacked you. But the attitude of "I'm don't look at dates when I post, who cares about comments on old posts" when there are community norms is a little annoying. Even if you don't mean it, it can come across as "I don't care what is established in the community  I'm going to do and say what I want, regardless of what anyone else thinks". I mean, sure it's internet, do what you want. But don't be surprised when people have a problem with that. 

DrillSergeantCat

OwningAHome1981 said:

I'm on & off these boards. I was married, divorced and now I am engaged and getting re-married. I've been here a long time but I'm not active all the time. I come & go, so I'm not a regular and the last time I was on here prior to now was about 9 mos ago. I'm not sitting here with a TK rule book memorizing every single do & don't.

Obv I was attacked. People making an issue and calling me out on it is an attack. I was commenting to try & be helpful to someone who was maybe in a similar situation. I realize the thread may have been older. I wasn't addressing that person. I was commenting in a general sense.

These boards are not that active. Some things even closer to the top are pretty old. It's a natural reaction to see something relatable & comment on it. I do't always look @ every single date on every single post.

There have been times that I have posted a new thread only to then have someone say "this is already in a prior thread"... so what gives then?

First bold - I was one of the people who asked you to check dates and I definitely didn't attack. The other person was possibly more blunt about it, but she also didn't attack you. 

Second bold - we realize that and that's why I asked you to check the dates. 

Third bold - That's something that's been discussed within this thread that we need to be better about. My first post, one of the comments was along the lines of "OMG We just answered this last week!" I hadn't seen anything about it on the first page (and let's be honest, nobody's going to the second page). 

OwningAHome1981

So would you prefer me comment on a current thread and be nasty and be of no help whatsoever? or would you prefer me to comment on a slightly older thread and actually maybe be helpful to someone?

Find something better to do than create unnecessary drama when someone resurrects an old thread.

Gee whiz.

MairePoppy

OwningAHome1981 said:

I'm on & off these boards. I was married, divorced and now I am engaged and getting re-married. I've been here a long time but I'm not active all the time. I come & go, so I'm not a regular and the last time I was on here prior to now was about 9 mos ago. I'm not sitting here with a TK rule book memorizing every single do & don't.

Obv I was attacked. People making an issue and calling me out on it is an attack. I was commenting to try & be helpful to someone who was maybe in a similar situation. I realize the thread may have been older. I wasn't addressing that person. I was commenting in a general sense.

These boards are not that active. Some things even closer to the top are pretty old. It's a natural reaction to see something relatable & comment on it. I do't always look @ every single date on every single post.

There have been times that I have posted a new thread only to then have someone say "this is already in a prior thread"... so what gives then?

Sometimes you can't win. When I first joined, the regs used to reprimand new community members for posting  frequently asked questions, as in, 'Look down two threads, dumb ass.' Some of them felt compelled to respond to every single thread on 'their boards.' 

The other thing they didn't like was 'thread hijacks,' like this. 

Welcome back to TK. What do you think about the bouquet toss?

charlotte989875

OwningAHome1981 said:

So would you prefer me comment on a current thread and be nasty and be of no help whatsoever? or would you prefer me to comment on a slightly older thread and actually maybe be helpful to someone?

Find something better to do than create unnecessary drama when someone resurrects an old thread.

Gee whiz.

Please. No one said don't comment. No one said don't participate. No one said said be nasty. C'mon. 

Jump in on current threads. Ask questions. Give helpful advice. But don't come here and say the norms are stupid and you're not going to play by them. 

And for for the record I agree that responding "just look at the other thread" is annoying. 

ETA spelling. 

holyguacamole79

Attacked?  Oh good grief.  I remember you from the days of not wanting to open presents at your shower,  @OwningAHome1981

OwningAHome1981

holyguacamole79 said:

Attacked?  Oh good grief.  I remember you from the days of not wanting to open presents at your shower,  @OwningAHome1981

The time can be spent doing other things instead of "hey everyone look at the cool stuff I got". it's annoying and unnecessary & AWish. I opened the presents at home and we spent the time socializing and making cards for kids @ the childrens hospital instead

OwningAHome1981

MairePoppy said:

OwningAHome1981 said:

I'm on & off these boards. I was married, divorced and now I am engaged and getting re-married. I've been here a long time but I'm not active all the time. I come & go, so I'm not a regular and the last time I was on here prior to now was about 9 mos ago. I'm not sitting here with a TK rule book memorizing every single do & don't.

Obv I was attacked. People making an issue and calling me out on it is an attack. I was commenting to try & be helpful to someone who was maybe in a similar situation. I realize the thread may have been older. I wasn't addressing that person. I was commenting in a general sense.

These boards are not that active. Some things even closer to the top are pretty old. It's a natural reaction to see something relatable & comment on it. I do't always look @ every single date on every single post.

There have been times that I have posted a new thread only to then have someone say "this is already in a prior thread"... so what gives then?

Sometimes you can't win. When I first joined, the regs used to reprimand new community members for posting  frequently asked questions, as in, 'Look down two threads, dumb ass.' Some of them felt compelled to respond to every single thread on 'their boards.' 

The other thing they didn't like was 'thread hijacks,' like this. 

Welcome back to TK. What do you think about the bouquet toss?

Thanks. I try not take things personally b/c I don't really give a hoot, it's an internet board. I'm a laid-back person, I don't take things too seriously but I voice my opinion when I have something to say.

I have a life outside of TK which apparently some of these ladies do not.

haha I hate the bouquet toss!!!! the garter is even worse!!!!

southernbelle0915

@holyguacamole79 - comes out of the shadows for days and throws shade

OwningAHome1981

So I saw a thread from May 3rd... is that ok to respond to? I guess I have to like check in with the TK police before I post anything now lol

charlotte989875

OwningAHome1981 said:

So I saw a thread from May 3rd... is that ok to respond to? I guess I have to like check in with the TK police before I post anything now lol

MairePoppy

OwningAHome1981 said:

So I saw a thread from May 3rd... is that ok to respond to? I guess I have to like check in with the TK police before I post anything now lol

What year?