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Wedding Woes
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Sad Bride, Advice NEEDED - Venue Disaster.
in Wedding Woes
So, my fiance and I are getting married September 3'rd of this year. We booked our venue, caterer and DJ, I really am way ahead of schedule (which was intended, it was intentional not a coincidence, I've been hustling like crazy because I knew that this summer would be hectic and I wouldn't have much time).
So, we found out that there's going to be a ANNUAL festival being held on the street outside of our city wedding. There's going to be at least hundreds of people outside our venue on the sidewalk and very loud music playing right beside our venue. We were going to have an outside ceremony and cocktail hour which seems out of the question now, since it's going to be so loud. When we signed the contract there was no word of warning about this festival, because the girl (who is very nice, I don't want her to get into any trouble) is new and she wasn't here for that event/aware that it would be problematic for us to have a wedding that day.
We paid for the ceremony and reception to be at the same place and I honestly would never have signed the contract for reception only, it's way too expensive. She will reimburse us like $750 if we don't hold our ceremony there (which we basically can't), but I don't want to have just the reception there. I want all or nothing. Like, this is just NOT what I wanted, I've been crying all day because I just feel like the venue wasn't looking out for us, they never would have even warned us about this massive event that could ruin our ceremony, like I'm lucky that we found out about it on our own.
I really don't even know what to do. Our contract called for 50% up front, non-refundable. I guess my question is, does anyone have any idea if we have a case to get that money back even though we signed the contract for non-refundable? I would say this is an unusual circumstance that they really should have warned us about.
Please help. Trying to stay positive, but I kind of am just really upset, wishing we had decided to elope instead.
So, we found out that there's going to be a ANNUAL festival being held on the street outside of our city wedding. There's going to be at least hundreds of people outside our venue on the sidewalk and very loud music playing right beside our venue. We were going to have an outside ceremony and cocktail hour which seems out of the question now, since it's going to be so loud. When we signed the contract there was no word of warning about this festival, because the girl (who is very nice, I don't want her to get into any trouble) is new and she wasn't here for that event/aware that it would be problematic for us to have a wedding that day.
We paid for the ceremony and reception to be at the same place and I honestly would never have signed the contract for reception only, it's way too expensive. She will reimburse us like $750 if we don't hold our ceremony there (which we basically can't), but I don't want to have just the reception there. I want all or nothing. Like, this is just NOT what I wanted, I've been crying all day because I just feel like the venue wasn't looking out for us, they never would have even warned us about this massive event that could ruin our ceremony, like I'm lucky that we found out about it on our own.
I really don't even know what to do. Our contract called for 50% up front, non-refundable. I guess my question is, does anyone have any idea if we have a case to get that money back even though we signed the contract for non-refundable? I would say this is an unusual circumstance that they really should have warned us about.
Please help. Trying to stay positive, but I kind of am just really upset, wishing we had decided to elope instead.
Re: Sad Bride, Advice NEEDED - Venue Disaster.
Aak them what their plan was going to be on the day had you not found out about this.
You need to figure out what you want. You have 6 months, so I would call other venues to see if they have availability. Or else call your venue (if you haven't sent STDs) to see if they have another day available close to your original date like the weekend before/after(make them give you options). Then call your vendors to see if they can switch dates. See if they could change to Friday 1st or Saturday2nd if the festival isn't on those days and see if your vendors are available.
You have time, but you need to act fast. Be clear and decisive. If you can find another venue, tell them that you expect a refund. Did you put it on a cc? if so, you can dispute it with them.
You need to quickly accept that your wedding isn't going to be what you envisaged, but it's still going to be great.
Will the festival hurt your reception in any way? If not, and the contract doesn't allow you any other out, then take the compromise. It's reasonable.
Be sad for a day that your vision has changed, drink some margaritas and eat some cupcakes, and then make new arrangements for the ceremony.
There will always be something that happens that wasn't planned for; my own brother was a no-call no show, another brides cake toppled over, another had an impending hurricane - the list goes on. It's how you handle it that determines the outcome.
I'm not being a bridezilla. I really need advice.
You need to put on big girl knickers and figure out what the situation actually is. You still don't know if they'll refund you. Or if they'll compensate you. Etc
Find out if they'll refund you. Or move your date.
As for invites etc, that's why all weddings should have a contingency plan. Things happen. You can get invites on minted or vistaprint inexpensively.
We took the Sunday date because they're pretty much booked (weekdays only - who does a wedding on a weekday? Nobody could come), two months each way and then we're into a winter wedding which honestly I'd rather get my money back and elope. This venue won't be worth the thousands of dollars that we're paying without spring of summer flowers, it's literally a garden on the side of a river.
I've not been dreaming of a wedding since I was a little girl. I'm very practical and I feel like the venue coordinator really screwed us here.
If your advice is to suck it up and figure it out, I've got that, thanks.
OK, the outside ceremony and cocktail hour need to be moved inside. You can do that. Or, you can ask the venue to let you have another date. You can reprint invitations. Check with the company.
You need to get going and try to resolve this situation. No crying or emotions when doing business. Just be a reasonable person and check all the possibilities before you freak out.
Most of us here are not housewives either. We're primarily working professionals who paid and planned our own weddings too (even some on a weekday). No one is accusing you of overreacting or being unreasonable, we agree the situation sucks a bit. But we're simply reiterating that until you bring this dispute up the ladder there may be nothing you can do, and even then you may be stuck in this contract.
Scheduling the date is 50/50 so IMO you may be equally liable for not knowing about the festival or asking about what else goes in that area during that date, especially since you booked it for it's outside accommodations. Unless you asked about weather, nuisance etc contingency plans they simply said to you "yes, our facility is available for rent on that date."
My advice is speak to the owner/manager. Find out what their plan was going to be had you not done this. They can't cancel the street fair, but how can they make this better?
How big are the gardens? Can you speak to the street fair and see if they'll give you a 30 min music free window for your ceremony? Can you hear the festival throughout the gardens?
Its ok to be upset, but it's like you're spinning your wheels a bit instead of thinking of practical solutions.
I have not freaked out on anyone, not my venue coordinator, or the director of the festival who I called, or anyone else. This is a big deal, my venue has no usable outside space. I booked it specifically for the outside space, and it's expensive. I realize it's not the end of the world but it's my wedding and I'll cry if I want to, what the hell. I'm not doing business, I'm planning a wedding. It's much more personal than business, I feel like most people would be sympathetic to that.
You don't seem to really want a solution. You want a magic fairy to wave her wand and solve your problem. Other posters have given you good suggestions.
The reply button is useless. We can't tell who you are replying to. Instead, use the "quote" button and reply underneath.
Also, WHOA to the bolded. I'm not a housewife either (I'm a lawyer). But your comment comes across so judgey to all the housewives who may have just taken a few minutes out of their schedules (keeping kids alive is a full time job) to try to help you.
If your contract says the $2,000 is non-refundable, period, and you signed your name to that, small claims court is probably a waste of everyone's time. Threatening to take your venue to court is just going to piss them off and make them unlikely to work with you.
Personally, I think this is your best option: Sometimes venues will let you cancel and they'll give you your deposit back IF someone else books your date. Ask them if they'd be willing to do this. If they are and you are willing to take the risk (sounds like a popular venue so it may not be all that risky), get it in writing. Plan your wedding on your original budget, less $2,000, and if someone books your date and you get the money back, save it, put it toward registry completion, or upgrade the shit out of your honeymoon.
Sorry this is happening to you... it really does suck.
Can you do your ceremony inside, go outside to the area you had designated for the ceremony for the cocktail hour (seriously, who cares if there is a festival going on during this time because people will be mingling anyway. At least you won't need music during the cocktail hour) and then go inside for the reception?
Ceremony inside on the first floor
Cocktail hour outside where the noise won't bother anyone. You can still enjoy the garden that way.
Reception on the second floor in the ballroom.
Is it exactly what you wanted? Nope. But it sure beats the hell out of losing the $2,000 deposit.
I swear I'm not being crazy but yes, I AM upset. That doesn't meant I'm not trying to find solutions or being proactive, idk why everyone feels I'm being unreasonable. Some brides would literally curse out the girl who made this mistake and throw a fit, I'm literally sitting here crying because I don't know how to fix it and don't have much time to devote to fixing it. I'm overwhelmed, I'm not being a bitch.
I'm definitely going to take your advice and I'll do that and get it in writing.
Some of you have been straight-up hateful, i don't know what you're doing on this website like that's not helpful at all.
This does not "ruin" your wedding. Are you still marrying the person you love? Will your closest friends and family be there? Then it's not ruined. Use the inside first floor for the ceremony, take pictures in the garden during cocktail hour and let your guests mingle inside and outside. Talk to your venue and calmly state your concerns and ask if there is anything more they can do to help alleviate your concerns.
And just because some brides would be assholes and curse someone out, doesn't mean you get any special treatment for not acting like that. It's just being a decent human being, which it sounds like you are trying to do.
I appreciate everyone's advice on how to handle the financial, legal aspects of this dilemma. And I will have a big glass of cabernet when I get home tonight and work this out.
In other news - my employer hasn't been witholding my local taxes all year and I owe like $880 for that too, which I also found out this morning, so like seriously it's just been a pretty bad Monday for me and I'm looking for moral support and (as stated) financial/legal advise.
I know it will work out in the end.
Everyone, literally everyone, has acknowledged that this sucks but is doable.
I like @Ro041's advice to switch this around so your cocktail hour is outside. I used to live in a city that hosted a giant festival (we're talking tens of thousands of people) and parking aside, I would have enjoyed an outside cocktail hour where I could enjoy the bands while enjoying the intimacy of a private venue.
And I agree with @Ro041, your comment about 'housewives' is a little bit snarky to people who you asked to problem solve and are giving you constructive ideas on how to go about resolving this situation.
I think many of us have validated that it's a crap situation, but at this point you can either suck on a lemon and continue to say it's sour or start making some lemonade. And with 5 months left, there's very little time to wring the hands and wonder what you're going to do.
So just because you didn't see it, doesn't mean it didn't happen.
Also, any lawyer worth their salt won't give legal advice on a wedding forum, so take what suggestions you are getting for what they are worth and if you want legal advice, you should pay someone for it. (I have not given any legal advice on this forum ever).
Although, I will say, the wine is a good idea.
When you came here, people were expecting you to be ready for suggested solutions (which may be hard and/or not ideal) rather than just repeating that everything is lost, which it isn't. If you're not ready for that, take a breath and come back when you are.
Her whole point is we can't help you much further until you escalate this to management and see what they're willing to do. Until you ask the questions of the right people (and not the newb) you won't know for sure if they're able and willing to do anything more.