Jack and Jill Party

Australian_girl_in_Paris

So I just watched this - https://youtu.be/KJ9uLFBIBQE Its a You Tube channel that I occasionally watch they have nice DIY's but they were talking about a Jack and Jill party. 

Apparently, it's kind of like a joint bridal shower (which is a thing) but you make up games and people have to pay to play them to help you pay for your wedding!!!!

I was super shocked has anyone heard of this or been to one?????

WinstonsGirl

Never been to one.  Apparently they're a regional thing and are quite popular in the regions where they occur.  There have been many horror stories here about them 

banana468

I haven't been to one but know many who have had them.

I'll say that this is one of those things that can be called "regional" but sometimes that region is pretty small.   I live in CT.   There aren't a ton of states out there smaller than this one.   And where DH and I grew up, you didn't have these.  You may have had co ed showers or ladies only showers but the buy a ticket for the wedding and including non wedding guests just isn't done where we're from.

But we now live on the other end of the state and know more people who have done this.  I don't like them and think that they're in poor taste, but I'm also not going to tell people who sent invitations that I think they're doing something bad if the horse is out of the gate.  

ei34

I hadn't heard of them until I came to TK.  Anything that involves guests paying for things totally rubs me the wrong way.

MissKittyDanger

In some places it's called a Stag/Stag & Doe.

Where I live, it's pretty typical and usually it's acceptable. However, many on TK are against it.

Australian_girl_in_Paris

I find it so so weird to ask people to pay. 
Like if you can't afford your wedding you shouldn't be doing it.

In Australia, we call a bachelor party a Stag night and a bachelorette a Hens night so that's similar - but I wouldn't ask anyone to pay!

southernbelle0915

I don't care where you're from or how common it is...Asking your closest family and friends to pay to attend a party you're throwing (for yourself) so that you can throw another, bigger party and go on a fancy vacation is gross. 

charlotte989875

Ugh, these are super common where we are, and nearly all of H's friends have had them (FTR he did not). I side-eye the hell out of them, but they're his friends so if he wants to go, I go too. I mean the open bar, raffles, and prizes can be fun (we won a grill once), but yeah they're tacky and ridiculous.

We have one Labor Day weekend. 

banana468

MissKittyDanger said:

In some places it's called a Stag/Stag & Doe.

Where I live, it's pretty typical and usually it's acceptable. However, many on TK are against it.

Well, that's sort of my point if you look at my post.   We live in an area where they're done.   It doesn't really make them acceptable.   It makes them common.   

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

In some places it's called a Stag/Stag & Doe.

Where I live, it's pretty typical and usually it's acceptable. However, many on TK are against it.

Well, that's sort of my point if you look at my post.   We live in an area where they're done.   It doesn't really make them acceptable.   It makes them common.   

It my area, it's pretty expected. You're right, doesn't make it acceptable.

CharmedPam

charlotte989875 said:

Ugh, these are super common where we are, and nearly all of H's friends have had them (FTR he did not). I side-eye the hell out of them, but they're his friends so if he wants to go, I go too. I mean the open bar, raffles, and prizes can be fun (we won a grill once), but yeah they're tacky and ridiculous.

We have one Labor Day weekend. 

That reminds me of the ones I was used to in Winnipeg, MB. I left at age 17 and never went to one though, this is all hearsay.  It's like you pay in for one big party at a town hall or something.  You (typically the bridal  parties right?) sell "social tickets" to anyone who will buy them, whether they know the bride and groom or not. weather they're invited or not.  

edit: I'm in Chicago now and no one knows what these are

edit edit: unless a social is different from a stag/doe or jack & jill?  I'm sensing social event with drinking and a dj and bars and raffles vs. bridal 'shower' party....

TrixieJess

CharmedPam said:

charlotte989875 said:

Ugh, these are super common where we are, and nearly all of H's friends have had them (FTR he did not). I side-eye the hell out of them, but they're his friends so if he wants to go, I go too. I mean the open bar, raffles, and prizes can be fun (we won a grill once), but yeah they're tacky and ridiculous.

We have one Labor Day weekend. 

That reminds me of the ones I was used to in Winnipeg, MB. I left at age 17 and never went to one though, this is all hearsay.  It's like you pay in for one big party at a town hall or something.  You (typically the bridal  parties right?) sell "social tickets" to anyone who will buy them, whether they know the bride and groom or not. weather they're invited or not.  

edit: I'm in Chicago now and no one knows what these are

edit edit: unless a social is different from a stag/doe or jack & jill?  I'm sensing social event with drinking and a dj and bars and raffles vs. bridal 'shower' party....

From what I can tell they're the same. I've never been to one but people advertise for them all over Facebook and I shudder. None of my friends had one, but they are common in our area.

ernursej

I've been to more than I want to admit to. They are very common in rural Alberta. Called Stag and Doe. Some are better than others. The trend I'm seeing is that they are more of a co-ed shower/drinking party and less about paying for the wedding.

charlotte989875

CharmedPam said:

charlotte989875 said:

Ugh, these are super common where we are, and nearly all of H's friends have had them (FTR he did not). I side-eye the hell out of them, but they're his friends so if he wants to go, I go too. I mean the open bar, raffles, and prizes can be fun (we won a grill once), but yeah they're tacky and ridiculous.

We have one Labor Day weekend. 

That reminds me of the ones I was used to in Winnipeg, MB. I left at age 17 and never went to one though, this is all hearsay.  It's like you pay in for one big party at a town hall or something.  You (typically the bridal  parties right?) sell "social tickets" to anyone who will buy them, whether they know the bride and groom or not. weather they're invited or not.  

edit: I'm in Chicago now and no one knows what these are

edit edit: unless a social is different from a stag/doe or jack & jill?  I'm sensing social event with drinking and a dj and bars and raffles vs. bridal 'shower' party....

Yup that's exactly how they are; I mean they are fun, we see tons of friends, and his friends go all out--great food, top shelf open bar, djs; but yeah it's still a big etiquette problem bc a bunch of the money goes directly to the bride and groom. 

knottie1027

I've heard of Jack and Jill parties, but it did not include paying for the wedding or money of any kind. From my experience the bride, FH and BP all party together and celebrate the couple. Maybe they change from region to region?

SP29

Super common in my area (southern Ontario), but when I lived in Edmonton, none of my friends had ever heard of one. Stag and Doe, Jack and Jill.

There is an entry fee, with tickets sold, usually $10. A buffet (sometimes catered, sometimes done by the family of the B&G) is provided for this. DJ. Then there is a cash bar (where a portion of the proceeds go to the B&G), as well as various raffles, games and items that you buy tickets for. Profits for all of these go to the B&G. Suppose to help support the B&G with their wedding planning.

I've been to many. I'll still go to them if it's a very close friend, but I don't recommend them. Personally, I think they're more trouble (aka work), then they're worth. There are usually a lot of people close to the B&G who are donating money and time to ensure the event runs smoothly that aren't going to invoice the B&G for those funds.

TrixieJess

SP29 said:

Super common in my area (southern Ontario), but when I lived in Edmonton, none of my friends had ever heard of one. Stag and Doe, Jack and Jill.

There is an entry fee, with tickets sold, usually $10. A buffet (sometimes catered, sometimes done by the family of the B&G) is provided for this. DJ. Then there is a cash bar (where a portion of the proceeds go to the B&G), as well as various raffles, games and items that you buy tickets for. Profits for all of these go to the B&G. Suppose to help support the B&G with their wedding planning.

I've been to many. I'll still go to them if it's a very close friend, but I don't recommend them. Personally, I think they're more trouble (aka work), then they're worth. There are usually a lot of people close to the B&G who are donating money and time to ensure the event runs smoothly that aren't going to invoice the B&G for those funds.

One of the girls I work with is promoting one of these. It's taking place on a weekend that has a whole bunch of other stuff going on in the city so they are having trouble selling tickets.

MissKittyDanger

SP29 said:

Super common in my area (southern Ontario), but when I lived in Edmonton, none of my friends had ever heard of one. Stag and Doe, Jack and Jill.

There is an entry fee, with tickets sold, usually $10. A buffet (sometimes catered, sometimes done by the family of the B&G) is provided for this. DJ. Then there is a cash bar (where a portion of the proceeds go to the B&G), as well as various raffles, games and items that you buy tickets for. Profits for all of these go to the B&G. Suppose to help support the B&G with their wedding planning.

I've been to many. I'll still go to them if it's a very close friend, but I don't recommend them. Personally, I think they're more trouble (aka work), then they're worth. There are usually a lot of people close to the B&G who are donating money and time to ensure the event runs smoothly that aren't going to invoice the B&G for those funds.

I think we live near each other or at least within a few hrs