I will spare you all photos of objects I peed on, but I did, twice. Both were clearly positive. According to the internet I am around 4 weeks and 4 days along.
Some of you who read my pre-wedding posts know the story. Anyway, I'm pretty scared and anxious this time around. H barely reacted when I told him. We discussed it later, when we both had a bit of time to really absorb the news. He's just afraid to let it be real in his mind and heart. We are both super happy, don't get me wrong, but nobody wants to get their hopes up or become attached. We have been trying in earnest since right before the wedding, and even though I'm turning 35 in a week I am still blessed with really great fertility it seems (something I absolutely don't take for granted as my 2 closest friends have shared the deep pain of their unsuccessful attempts to conceive).
I just hope this one sticks. I don't want to go through the physical or emotional agony of another loss. I would never wish that kind of suffering on anyone.
I know I haven't been active much, but we have decided not to share the news with anyone until we have at least a couple of ultrasounds and things look good, and I wanted to be able to tell *someone*. I don't really have any other online community that I participate in, so I'm glad I can at least come here and admit that I am scared and I feel anxious and alone.