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Wedding Woes
kwiksilver
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Rainbow Baby
kwiksilver
member
in Wedding Woes
I will spare you all photos of objects I peed on, but I did, twice. Both were clearly positive. According to the internet I am around 4 weeks and 4 days along.
Some of you who read my pre-wedding posts know the story. Anyway, I'm pretty scared and anxious this time around. H barely reacted when I told him. We discussed it later, when we both had a bit of time to really absorb the news. He's just afraid to let it be real in his mind and heart. We are both super happy, don't get me wrong, but nobody wants to get their hopes up or become attached. We have been trying in earnest since right before the wedding, and even though I'm turning 35 in a week I am still blessed with really great fertility it seems (something I absolutely don't take for granted as my 2 closest friends have shared the deep pain of their unsuccessful attempts to conceive).
I just hope this one sticks. I don't want to go through the physical or emotional agony of another loss. I would never wish that kind of suffering on anyone.
I know I haven't been active much, but we have decided not to share the news with anyone until we have at least a couple of ultrasounds and things look good, and I wanted to be able to tell *someone*. I don't really have any other online community that I participate in, so I'm glad I can at least come here and admit that I am scared and I feel anxious and alone.
Some of you who read my pre-wedding posts know the story. Anyway, I'm pretty scared and anxious this time around. H barely reacted when I told him. We discussed it later, when we both had a bit of time to really absorb the news. He's just afraid to let it be real in his mind and heart. We are both super happy, don't get me wrong, but nobody wants to get their hopes up or become attached. We have been trying in earnest since right before the wedding, and even though I'm turning 35 in a week I am still blessed with really great fertility it seems (something I absolutely don't take for granted as my 2 closest friends have shared the deep pain of their unsuccessful attempts to conceive).
I just hope this one sticks. I don't want to go through the physical or emotional agony of another loss. I would never wish that kind of suffering on anyone.
I know I haven't been active much, but we have decided not to share the news with anyone until we have at least a couple of ultrasounds and things look good, and I wanted to be able to tell *someone*. I don't really have any other online community that I participate in, so I'm glad I can at least come here and admit that I am scared and I feel anxious and alone.
Re: Rainbow Baby
Other than her husband, she did share with me. She felt she needed a secondary place to vent fears, apprehensions, and other concerns without over-burdening her husband. There is no getting around those emotions. They exist for a reason, unfortunately. My heart broke for them each time they received the news.
Stay well. Stay strong. Prayers to you, your husband and LO.
(I'm gonna go all nurse for a second)
Here's to a healthy, happy nine months!
Wishing you a good and healthy pregnancy!
I too had a loss and that 2nd pregnancy test, my husband reacted the same way. He was my rock during the first loss and I think he knew he would need to be the rock again if something bad happened. I now have a happy and crazy 6 month old! Don't look into your H behavior too much, he is probably thrilled on the inside but wants to be reserved on the outside.
Pregnant after loss (pgal) brain is such a mindfuck. I had a loss last summer and getting pregnant again added so many emotions, it's hard to understand unless you've been through it. I won't say it gets easier- my worries of losing my rainbow during pregnancy never went away, they just changed. But, as I hold my 7 day old rainbow in my arms, I hope you will hold your rainbow in your arms in 9 months.
I know of a great online community for loss moms and pregnant after loss moms- if you want, PM me and I'll share the forum site with you.
Xoxoxo
@kwiksilver sorry to hijack your thread a little!