When should I send Save the Dates?

[Deleted User]

Hey guys!

Wedding date is 9/21/19.  I'm sure just like everyone else, our guests seem to get busier and busier!

We have our venue, getting engagement pictures done early August, will book room blocks at that point in time.  Knowing our date, when is a good time to send out Save the Dates?  Also, do people normally register before sending them or should I wait due to things going out of stock?

Thank you!

MobKaz

ShesSoCold said:

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

MobKaz said:

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

Hey guys!

Wedding date is 9/21/19.  I'm sure just like everyone else, our guests seem to get busier and busier!

We have our venue, getting engagement pictures done early August, will book room blocks at that point in time.  Knowing our date, when is a good time to send out Save the Dates?  Also, do people normally register before sending them or should I wait due to things going out of stock?

Thank you!

Personally, I would wait until the first of the year to send out STD's.  They won't get lost in the plethora of holiday junk sales mail and holiday cards.  They won't get tossed into the holiday card pile.  STD's are not necessary.  It is often recommended that they be sent to only those guests on your list that are ABSOLUTE in your heart.  There have been countless stories on the boards asking whether sending STD's "then" requires an invitation "now".  People, relationships, and circumstances can change in a year's time.

There is no need to register at the same time as STD's are sent because one has nothing to do with the other.  You are correct that many items may no longer be available as it gets closer to the wedding date.  IF close family knows you are engaged prior to the holidays, you could start a small registry if you are OK receiving household goods as Christmas gifts.  You could include a few "timeless" or classic registry items.  Otherwise, save registry shopping for the Spring of 2019. 

Oh wow I never thought of getting lost in the holiday cards, thank you for this.  Especially because I usually send holiday cards to people so they might be confused.  And yes, I absolutely am sending them only to the 10000000% sure groups (so basically immediate family).  If someone asks I will just say I sent them to Burlington family and friends who live far.  Since we made a preliminary guest list 6 months ago (as we needed an estimate to know how many people we needed to accommodate which is important to pick a venue) we have added and removed many people from the guest list.  It's so ever-evolving!  

So it makes sense to *not do it around xmas time due to being confused with holiday cards, but do you think it's too soon if I send them out in September/October (so 11 to 12 months before the wedding) when I will have rooms blocked off?

Also, I totally hear you about the "necessity" of save-the-dates.  I went back and forth MANY times, as I am not looking to spend money when I don't need to.  Overall, because we have families who will have to travel 3 to 3.5 hours, and because they are insanely crazy busy, we decided it would be really nice for them to have all of the hotel information from our website, to know where they are going, especially because FH and I are from all over New England, so some people might assume the wedding is close to where we currently live (it is NOT a DW, it's half way between my family and his, a maximum 3.5 hour drive for some of the family).  We are also crazy busy (like have to book out 4 months in advance to see friends - I'm sure we aren't the only ones) and realized that if it had not been for receiving a save-the-date, we wouldn't have been able to attend a couple of weddings this year. 

I'd definitely wait until after the first. Too early and you might get a lot of people thinking, "Oh man that's SO FAR away" and then forgetting all about it (I would) and it's still close-ish to the holidays, as far as expenses and booking rooms. I think nine months is generally a good time frame and it fits perfectly right there after the holidays for you.

And I (as per usual) agree with MobKaz on the registry. Register much closer to your wedding and/or shower, if one if offered to you. 

MobKaz

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

Hey guys!

Wedding date is 9/21/19.  I'm sure just like everyone else, our guests seem to get busier and busier!

We have our venue, getting engagement pictures done early August, will book room blocks at that point in time.  Knowing our date, when is a good time to send out Save the Dates?  Also, do people normally register before sending them or should I wait due to things going out of stock?

Thank you!

Personally, I would wait until the first of the year to send out STD's.  They won't get lost in the plethora of holiday junk sales mail and holiday cards.  They won't get tossed into the holiday card pile.  STD's are not necessary.  It is often recommended that they be sent to only those guests on your list that are ABSOLUTE in your heart.  There have been countless stories on the boards asking whether sending STD's "then" requires an invitation "now".  People, relationships, and circumstances can change in a year's time.

There is no need to register at the same time as STD's are sent because one has nothing to do with the other.  You are correct that many items may no longer be available as it gets closer to the wedding date.  IF close family knows you are engaged prior to the holidays, you could start a small registry if you are OK receiving household goods as Christmas gifts.  You could include a few "timeless" or classic registry items.  Otherwise, save registry shopping for the Spring of 2019. 

[Deleted User]

MobKaz said:

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

Hey guys!

Wedding date is 9/21/19.  I'm sure just like everyone else, our guests seem to get busier and busier!

We have our venue, getting engagement pictures done early August, will book room blocks at that point in time.  Knowing our date, when is a good time to send out Save the Dates?  Also, do people normally register before sending them or should I wait due to things going out of stock?

Thank you!

Personally, I would wait until the first of the year to send out STD's.  They won't get lost in the plethora of holiday junk sales mail and holiday cards.  They won't get tossed into the holiday card pile.  STD's are not necessary.  It is often recommended that they be sent to only those guests on your list that are ABSOLUTE in your heart.  There have been countless stories on the boards asking whether sending STD's "then" requires an invitation "now".  People, relationships, and circumstances can change in a year's time.

There is no need to register at the same time as STD's are sent because one has nothing to do with the other.  You are correct that many items may no longer be available as it gets closer to the wedding date.  IF close family knows you are engaged prior to the holidays, you could start a small registry if you are OK receiving household goods as Christmas gifts.  You could include a few "timeless" or classic registry items.  Otherwise, save registry shopping for the Spring of 2019. 

Oh wow I never thought of getting lost in the holiday cards, thank you for this.  Especially because I usually send holiday cards to people so they might be confused.  And yes, I absolutely am sending them only to the 10000000% sure groups (so basically immediate family).  If someone asks I will just say I sent them to Burlington family and friends who live far.  Since we made a preliminary guest list 6 months ago (as we needed an estimate to know how many people we needed to accommodate which is important to pick a venue) we have added and removed many people from the guest list.  It's so ever-evolving!  

So it makes sense to *not do it around xmas time due to being confused with holiday cards, but do you think it's too soon if I send them out in September/October (so 11 to 12 months before the wedding) when I will have rooms blocked off?

Also, I totally hear you about the "necessity" of save-the-dates.  I went back and forth MANY times, as I am not looking to spend money when I don't need to.  Overall, because we have families who will have to travel 3 to 3.5 hours, and because they are insanely crazy busy, we decided it would be really nice for them to have all of the hotel information from our website, to know where they are going, especially because FH and I are from all over New England, so some people might assume the wedding is close to where we currently live (it is NOT a DW, it's half way between my family and his, a maximum 3.5 hour drive for some of the family).  We are also crazy busy (like have to book out 4 months in advance to see friends - I'm sure we aren't the only ones) and realized that if it had not been for receiving a save-the-date, we wouldn't have been able to attend a couple of weddings this year. 

ShesSoCold

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

MobKaz said:

knottieda10bcd9733d97aa said:

Hey guys!

Wedding date is 9/21/19.  I'm sure just like everyone else, our guests seem to get busier and busier!

We have our venue, getting engagement pictures done early August, will book room blocks at that point in time.  Knowing our date, when is a good time to send out Save the Dates?  Also, do people normally register before sending them or should I wait due to things going out of stock?

Thank you!

Personally, I would wait until the first of the year to send out STD's.  They won't get lost in the plethora of holiday junk sales mail and holiday cards.  They won't get tossed into the holiday card pile.  STD's are not necessary.  It is often recommended that they be sent to only those guests on your list that are ABSOLUTE in your heart.  There have been countless stories on the boards asking whether sending STD's "then" requires an invitation "now".  People, relationships, and circumstances can change in a year's time.

There is no need to register at the same time as STD's are sent because one has nothing to do with the other.  You are correct that many items may no longer be available as it gets closer to the wedding date.  IF close family knows you are engaged prior to the holidays, you could start a small registry if you are OK receiving household goods as Christmas gifts.  You could include a few "timeless" or classic registry items.  Otherwise, save registry shopping for the Spring of 2019. 

Oh wow I never thought of getting lost in the holiday cards, thank you for this.  Especially because I usually send holiday cards to people so they might be confused.  And yes, I absolutely am sending them only to the 10000000% sure groups (so basically immediate family).  If someone asks I will just say I sent them to Burlington family and friends who live far.  Since we made a preliminary guest list 6 months ago (as we needed an estimate to know how many people we needed to accommodate which is important to pick a venue) we have added and removed many people from the guest list.  It's so ever-evolving!  

So it makes sense to *not do it around xmas time due to being confused with holiday cards, but do you think it's too soon if I send them out in September/October (so 11 to 12 months before the wedding) when I will have rooms blocked off?

Also, I totally hear you about the "necessity" of save-the-dates.  I went back and forth MANY times, as I am not looking to spend money when I don't need to.  Overall, because we have families who will have to travel 3 to 3.5 hours, and because they are insanely crazy busy, we decided it would be really nice for them to have all of the hotel information from our website, to know where they are going, especially because FH and I are from all over New England, so some people might assume the wedding is close to where we currently live (it is NOT a DW, it's half way between my family and his, a maximum 3.5 hour drive for some of the family).  We are also crazy busy (like have to book out 4 months in advance to see friends - I'm sure we aren't the only ones) and realized that if it had not been for receiving a save-the-date, we wouldn't have been able to attend a couple of weddings this year. 

I'd definitely wait until after the first. Too early and you might get a lot of people thinking, "Oh man that's SO FAR away" and then forgetting all about it (I would) and it's still close-ish to the holidays, as far as expenses and booking rooms. I think nine months is generally a good time frame and it fits perfectly right there after the holidays for you.

And I (as per usual) agree with MobKaz on the registry. Register much closer to your wedding and/or shower, if one if offered to you. 

maine7mob

Reasons why you might want to send STD's:
1. You have family/friends who will need to travel far and book hotel accommodations.
2. You live in an area with few places to stay.
3. There's some other huge event in your community (a festival or convention) the weekend of your wedding that will compete for hotel space, so your guests will need to book very early. This mostly matters if you're in a rural area or small town.

Be sure to have your website with all the info set up so that when people look it up (from the URL you will have on your STD's), everything they need to know will be there.

My D and her FI only sent STD's to people who lived far away (and if you do this, you need to make sure that everyone in the same family or town who is invited gets one; otherwise, they'll wonder if they are invited to the wedding). This saved a bit of money. 

Be prepared for some people (people from other cultures, older people) to think that the STD is the invite and to be confused. I had to clarify for a couple of people that the invitation would be forthcoming.

D got engaged on Christmas eve 2017 for an August 2018 wedding, so sending the STD's was really essential in her case. We waited until just after the holidays to order and mail them.