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Dilemma

I am in the process of working on my parents photo album and I have run into an issue. My sister's boyfriend who my family and I like don't like was included in photos because I felt like I had to include him. However, I don't really want to include those photos in my parents album since she has only been with the guy for nine months, but I would like to include photos my brother's wife is in since she is actually part of the family and has been in our lives for four years. She was also one of my bridesmaids so she is obviously going to be included in bridesmaids photos. Two months prior to dating this guy, she had been engaged to her high school sweetheart so she tends to move on pretty quickly. I am worried my sister will notice he isn't included in any of the photos in my parents book. Should I just include him knowing that if they break up he will be in my parents album or should exclude him and hope she doesn't notice or say anything.

Re: Dilemma

  • I would throw one or two pictures that may include him in the album.    You never know - they could get married one day and even if he's disliked he could be a family member.

    Bonus if you can have those two photos on back to back pages that can be removed should they break up. 
    ILoveBeachMusic
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    It seems really petty to exclude him because she didn't wait long enough in your eyes to start dating after ending her last relationship. She's been with the guy 9 months; it's a serious relationship.

    He was at your wedding. Whether they break up or stay together forever, he will have been part of your wedding and part of the photos. Keeping him out of the photos is like trying to rewrite history. He was there. You can't change it. Use the photos you like, don't go looking for ones that he's not in.
    banana468short+sassy
  • It seems really petty to exclude him because she didn't wait long enough in your eyes to start dating after ending her last relationship. She's been with the guy 9 months; it's a serious relationship.

    He was at your wedding. Whether they break up or stay together forever, he will have been part of your wedding and part of the photos. Keeping him out of the photos is like trying to rewrite history. He was there. You can't change it. Use the photos you like, don't go looking for ones that he's not in.
    It is one photo I am debating using. I wouldn't have such an issue with including him if the relationship was more stable. In the past nine months they have been together, they have broken up half a dozen times. 
  • It seems really petty to exclude him because she didn't wait long enough in your eyes to start dating after ending her last relationship. She's been with the guy 9 months; it's a serious relationship.

    He was at your wedding. Whether they break up or stay together forever, he will have been part of your wedding and part of the photos. Keeping him out of the photos is like trying to rewrite history. He was there. You can't change it. Use the photos you like, don't go looking for ones that he's not in.
    It is one photo I am debating using. I wouldn't have such an issue with including him if the relationship was more stable. In the past nine months they have been together, they have broken up half a dozen times. 
    This isn't a framed photo to throw over the mantle.   Don't make it the album cover and you're fine.

    FWIW, I look at our wedding photos and the signature matte that we used as a guestbook and since we got married at least two couples have divorced and plenty who were in really long term relationships broke up.   It happens.   
    short+sassy
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    It seems really petty to exclude him because she didn't wait long enough in your eyes to start dating after ending her last relationship. She's been with the guy 9 months; it's a serious relationship.

    He was at your wedding. Whether they break up or stay together forever, he will have been part of your wedding and part of the photos. Keeping him out of the photos is like trying to rewrite history. He was there. You can't change it. Use the photos you like, don't go looking for ones that he's not in.
    It is one photo I am debating using. I wouldn't have such an issue with including him if the relationship was more stable. In the past nine months they have been together, they have broken up half a dozen times. 
    If you like the photo, use it. Whether or not they break up, he was there. You can't change history.

    It really seems like you're just creating this dilemma as an excuse to put down your sister's relationship. 
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Why am I not surprised you're making a huge deal about one photo. 

    MobKaz
  • Why am I not surprised you're making a huge deal about one photo. 
    There is one family photo with him in it, but there are also photos of him from the reception. I was asking for advice not snarky comments. 
  • It seems really petty to exclude him because she didn't wait long enough in your eyes to start dating after ending her last relationship. She's been with the guy 9 months; it's a serious relationship.

    He was at your wedding. Whether they break up or stay together forever, he will have been part of your wedding and part of the photos. Keeping him out of the photos is like trying to rewrite history. He was there. You can't change it. Use the photos you like, don't go looking for ones that he's not in.
    It is one photo I am debating using. I wouldn't have such an issue with including him if the relationship was more stable. In the past nine months they have been together, they have broken up half a dozen times. 
    If you like the photo, use it. Whether or not they break up, he was there. You can't change history.

    It really seems like you're just creating this dilemma as an excuse to put down your sister's relationship. 
    I am not trying to change history. I am aware he was at the wedding because originally we weren't sure he would attend because he doesn't like attending family events. He is the one that has made it very clear he doesn't want to be a part of our lives not the other way around. He has refused to attend other family functions such as birthday parties which caused my sister to have a mental breakdown because she wanted to attend and he didn't and she felt torn between her family and her boyfriend. He was has been invited to every family function that we have had he just doesn't like to attend because my family is very conservative and he is liberal so he feels strange I guess being around us even though my family doesn't try to push their values onto him or anyone else. I would say I'm not nearly as conservative as them so they don't like to even discuss their values around me because I disagree with a lot of them. Anyways we have tried to be welcoming to him and his son. In the past mom brought his son toys and clothes because he doesn't have a lot of money and she feels bad for the child, but the boyfriend has made it clear he doesn't want anything to do with us. He decided after the wedding to delete everyone on Facebook except my sister. Although i barely the know the guy, the things I do know about him I don't agree with like him trying to convince my sister to do drugs. The only reason I mentioned that she started seeing him after only two was because even though she broke up with the fiance two months prior she was still leading him on about a week prior to her dating his new boyfriend. 
  • It's a picture.   If the pictures of your sister include him then include him in them.

    You are WAY over thinking this. 
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Why am I not surprised you're making a huge deal about one photo. 
    There is one family photo with him in it, but there are also photos of him from the reception. I was asking for advice not snarky comments. 
    You've posted here a dozen times, and never appreciated any of the advice offered. Not sure why you're here, yet again, overreacting about a dude in a picture. 

  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Why am I not surprised you're making a huge deal about one photo. 
    LOL 

    OP.....not that you have ever taken any of our suggestions, but why don't you make a small album for your sister and include all photos of him in that one?  I don't really care to waste any more time or energy offering additional suggestions or advice.

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