It is Wednesday.

OliveOilsMom

Brother and his family are all ok.  We had a tornado warning going on and so they were in the basement.  So were we, we only live about 5 minutes apart.  His insurance company is amazing!  They arranged for the tree to come off the house the next day and starting to shore it up too.  They have a very large amount (for our area) to find a rental home and will provide them with rented furniture too. They will only need to pay utilities.  The past 3 days, they have torn down and salvaged items as much as possible from the hardest hit part of the house.  The house shouldn't have to be a total tare down.  They are also packing up everything else in the house, with a full inventory, so if they need anything while staying at the rental (that they don't have already), they just will tell the company and the box will get pulled from storage.

They also found a good temporary house and are working to get that finalized.  SILs dad lives with them and he needs first floor living, so they had to be a bit choosy.  He has been staying with their neighbor, since I don't have a shower on my first floor.

short+sassy

I'm glad he's having such a smooth time with the insurance!  I hope that continues.

From what I understand from my real estate investing forum, having a rental that goes through an insurance company is like the Holy Grail, lol.  They often offer 2-3x the rent being asked.  They pay the landlord directly, so it's guaranteed money.  Plus they pay the security deposit.  Plus they themselves take financial responsibility if damages exceed the security deposit.  About the only negative is it's not going to be a permanent or long-term tenant.

Anytime I have a vacancy, I keep waiting for that phone call.  Alas, it has not happened yet, lol.

short+sassy

Speaking of property insurance, I've been scrambling to get quotes on the duplexes we've been doing the rehab on because the current insurance expires on Sat. and the flood expires next Wed.

I totally dropped the ball on this!  I knew it was coming up but kept thinking I had longer than I did because didn't June just start?  It feels like it just started, lol.  How is it the 10th and we are already one-third through the month.

Long story short, when I closed on the duplexes, I had gone with an insurance agent my mortgage broker recommended.  But I was looking forward to moving these over to my go-to insurer that my other rental properties are under.  But I also had the current carrier give me quotes.

I finally got the last quotes I was waiting on.  Lo and behold, my current carrier came in at more than half the cost!  It's weird because my go-to carrier is my go-to primarily because they've had the best rates I've found.  Or at least they did in the past.  I even have another duplex with them that is less than one mile from the rehab ones.  Other than being 400 sq. ft. smaller, it's not any different.  I pay substantially less for that one then what I was just quoted for the reno ones (shrug).

You are quickly becoming my new favorite, current carrier, lol.

Seriously, though.  I am hemorrhaging money this month with insurance (sigh).  I just paid my personal home's flood insurance.  I need to pay the flood insurance again for both those rehab duplexes.  Plus I need to pay the first three months of premiums for the property insurance on both of those.

And I have one more flood policy due next month.  Aaaahhh!

Note to self:  Don't close on properties in May-Aug. for awhile.  You gotta start spreading this out better, lol.

Jen4948

CharmedPam said:

@Jen4948 how does that pool thing work?  Sign up sheet?  4 at a time for how long?  Just curious about procedures everywhere.  I don’t have a pool in my community center myself

I don't know, because I haven't gone in, but as far as I can tell, only 4 people can be in the area at a time, and if a fifth person comes along, they have to wait until one of the others leaves the area. There doesn't seem to be a sign up sheet or anything like that. The pool doesn't have a lifeguard so I guess they're using the honor system.

charlotte989875

missJeanLouise said:

charlotte989875 said:

missJeanLouise said:

@charlotte989875 yes, but not in a good way. The first year DH developed major anxiety and horrible coping skills, ie drinking. He started going to therapy and got on medication about 8 months ago. I don't think he had really considered how a baby would change his life before DS came and it really got to him. It doesn't get mentioned a lot but men need postpartum support too. 

That’s really tough and I appreciate you sharing that. I worry about H because he also hates his job (but hiring has all but stopped here) and he’s the type that feels like he has to take care of us. 

Tbh, his unhappiness at his job was a major contributor to his anxiety. I feel like men just have completely different set of worries when it comes to babies and toxic masculinity tells them to bury all feelings/ fears. 

I completely agree, and H comes from a family where men are providers so they are better providers the more money they’re making (which is of course bullshit). He’s also a “never talk about feelings unless I have to” guy so I think this is just how his anxiety is coming out. He got a full night sleep last night and seems to be better today. 

charlotte989875

cupcait927 said:

charlotte989875 said:

cupcait927 said:

Thanks @short+sassy! I sing his praises to anyone that needs to hear it when becoming first time parents because honestly, I don't know how I would've gotten through those first two months without someone as supportive as my H. I hate when women try to dismiss men and say that they're not "natural caretakers" and no one will be as good as mom at taking care of baby (I haven't seen that on here, but it's rampant in my mom group on FB). He relies way more on instinct when taking care of DD while I have to read every baby book and website under the sun because none of it comes naturally to me. He took care of both of us when we needed it and it was awesome.

This is really awesome, and so good to hear. I have no doubt H will be a great Dad, and I think he’s maybe feeling a little like your H about not doing much to prepare. I’ve done all the research for the registry/what we’re going to want, he will help if I need help making a decision, but he hasn’t done a lot of that type of research. He will occasionally ask questions (last nights was when do babies start to eat real food) but I think he’s realizing how much more I’ve done to prepare and what he can do is stuff around the house. 

How are you doing now with the PPD/PPA? I’m a little concerned about it, just knowing how common it is. 

I'm doing SO much better! Looking back, I should've reached out to a therapist before she was born because I felt pretty disconnected to the idea of being a mom even before she was born. Once she got here, I kept waiting for someone to come and get her because she didn't feel like my baby. And I was paralyzed with fear - fear of doing something wrong as a first time mom. I had panic attacks every night. I got right into my doctor a week and a half after she was born and got on medication. I also see a therapist as well. My recommendation would be to never hesitate to reach out to your provider if you even think you might be suffering from PPD or PPA. I went to my PCP but your OBGYN can also help. 

My Mom shared with me she felt this same way when she brought my sister (older than me) home; that she was sure someone was coming to take her away because she was going to do something wrong. She said she told my dad that they should enjoy her now (on the drive home) because someone was going to take her soon. And my Mom is an L&D nurse (and has been for a while at the time). 

I really appreciate you sharing. A few things I’ve read have said there’s a chance PPD/PPA might become more likely in the pandemic because of all the social isolation we’re already experiencing and will likely still experience after a baby is born so it’s really good to know other people have experienced it and come though. Thank you!!