I have been struggling with wedding planning in general. It's not something I'm good at, I get overwhelmed very quickly, and I'm not good at visualizing things. I'd had my bridesmaids selected long ago and was excited to ask them to be part of mine and my fiancé's special day. To say it has not gone well is a slight understatement....
I've opted for no pre-wedding shenanigans. No engagement party. No bridal shower. No Bachelorette. Nada. That's just more planning and expenses I don't want to incur or have others incur. A single wedding day is more than enough. All I've asked my bridesmaids for is their presence and opinions on dress shopping. Both for myself and themselves. This seems to still be too much to ask and has been where things have just given me more stress than happiness.
Being the faulty people pleaser I am, I attempted every single time to ask the girls what their schedule allowed for appointments. Multiple times appointments were made (whether truly with the bridal store or just between us) and every single time something went wrong. From forgetting previous engagements to sick family members, not one single appointment has gone as planned. And not one single time did I get really much sympathy or an apology. I feel selfish saying that but I honestly planned all of this around the others for it to be their fault it didn't happen....
So after the 4th time, I've basically decided that I can't do this anymore. Fiance is already struggling to find groomsmen and hasn't asked anyone yet. So we decided forget it! There's no law requiring us to have a wedding party to be married. Now on to the problem... I still have to let the girls down. I feel intense guilt and fear their reactions. I was planning to keep it very focused on myself and my fiance and not bring up anything that I've been hurt by. State that I love them both so much and want nothing more than for them to still be there on our day, but that the stress of planning has really led us to feel this is the best choice for us.
What other suggestions might you have to help this go smoothly? I expect some silence from them for a while and that this could forever change our relationship. Which would kill me because they're my best friends and have been for nearly 14 years. We're all in such different places in our lives that I feel like if I were getting married 1 year ago or 1 year after my upcoming date, it would actually be different. Right now is just not right it seems.