There's a million reasons and most probably have nothing to do with you.
Dear Prudence,
I have some close, very long-time friends who have two young kids. They occasionally ask other friends if they can babysit for them, but despite my offering in the past, they’ve never asked me.
Over time, I’m starting to wonder if this is a coincidence, or if they really just don’t trust me to watch their children. I live much closer than other friends they’ve asked. None of our other friends have children, so I don’t think that has anything to do with it (I don’t have children either). I have a good career, own a home, take care of a pet, all things that I think signify that I am responsible; I even babysat young children when I was a teenager, so while I don’t have kids of my own, other people have trusted me to watch kids. I’m a little hurt, not only that my friends don’t seem to think I’m trustworthy, but also feel like I’m missing out on the opportunity to spend time with their kids while they’re growing up. Is it too much to ask directly why they never ask me (not sure I even could)? Should I take their not asking as just a fact they don’t want my help and get over it? Is it possible this is just a coincidence I’ve overblown in my head?
—Is it Me? Is it Me?
Re: There's a million reasons and most probably have nothing to do with you.
The LW says they have a pet. I wonder what kind and if it is something about the pet the parents are uncomfortable with. If I were a parent, I'd be uncomfortable leaving my young children in a house with a dog that isn't mine. Doubly so if it was a large dog or had any kind of aggressive tendencies.
Even a nice, non-problematic dog can behave differently with young children. Toddlers can make unexpected movements or harass the dog because they don't understand. And especially for dogs who are not used to that, they might nip or bite in fear even when that is out of character.
I don't think LW should make a stink about this. They made the offer and they haven't been taken up on it. There's no way to broach it without looking odd at best and suspect at worst.
Except was I really afraid of her dad! I sometimes dreaded going there because he scared me. And I was pretty vocal about it, lol. I told my friend I didn't like her dad on multiple occasions. Not the most polite thing to do, but I was too little to know that. I told my parents I didn't like him and that he was scary and mean. Y'all seriously, he was a really nice man who never even raised his voice at me, lol. But he has a gruff exterior and that was what scared me as a little kid.
I don't seem him very often since I moved to NOLA 25+ years ago. But he always teases me (nicely) about it when I see him. We've talked and laughed a little about it as adults. He said he always felt so bad that I was scared, but didn't know what to do. I've reassured him that it was nothing he ever did or at least not that I remember. That I was a nervous kid who was a little afraid of most adults and for reasons I can't explain, I was especially afraid of him.
But seriously, if you want to build a relationship with them, instead of waiting to be asked to baby sit, offer to do something with the kids, like them to the zoo or a museum.