There's a million reasons and most probably have nothing to do with you.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I have some close, very long-time friends who have two young kids. They occasionally ask other friends if they can babysit for them, but despite my offering in the past, they’ve never asked me.
Over time, I’m starting to wonder if this is a coincidence, or if they really just don’t trust me to watch their children. I live much closer than other friends they’ve asked. None of our other friends have children, so I don’t think that has anything to do with it (I don’t have children either). I have a good career, own a home, take care of a pet, all things that I think signify that I am responsible; I even babysat young children when I was a teenager, so while I don’t have kids of my own, other people have trusted me to watch kids. I’m a little hurt, not only that my friends don’t seem to think I’m trustworthy, but also feel like I’m missing out on the opportunity to spend time with their kids while they’re growing up. Is it too much to ask directly why they never ask me (not sure I even could)? Should I take their not asking as just a fact they don’t want my help and get over it? Is it possible this is just a coincidence I’ve overblown in my head?

—Is it Me? Is it Me?

banana468

Have you talked to your friends??

short+sassy

I don't think this is something they should bring up with their friends.  Either the friends just haven't thought to ask them.  Or there is something about the LW or their house the friends are uncomfortable with.  If it's the latter, there is probably nothing the LW can do about it and it will just hurt their feelings and be an awkward conversation for the friends.

The LW says they have a pet.  I wonder what kind and if it is something about the pet the parents are uncomfortable with.  If I were a parent, I'd be uncomfortable leaving my young children in a house with a dog that isn't mine.  Doubly so if it was a large dog or had any kind of aggressive tendencies.

Even a nice, non-problematic dog can behave differently with young children.  Toddlers can make unexpected movements or harass the dog because they don't understand.  And especially for dogs who are not used to that, they might nip or bite in fear even when that is out of character.

mrsconn23

I remember as a kid dreading having to go to certain people's houses for them to watch us.  No one was mean to us or abusive or anything.  It was just we found some people more 'fun' than others or we were more comfortable with certain family members/friends.  It could be as simple as that.  

I don't think LW should make a stink about this.  They made the offer and they haven't been taken up on it.  There's no way to broach it without looking odd at  best and suspect at worst.  

short+sassy

mrsconn23 said:

I remember as a kid dreading having to go to certain people's houses for them to watch us.  No one was mean to us or abusive or anything.  It was just we found some people more 'fun' than others or we were more comfortable with certain family members/friends.  It could be as simple as that.  

I don't think LW should make a stink about this.  They made the offer and they haven't been taken up on it.  There's no way to broach it without looking odd at  best and suspect at worst.  

My parents have family friends that they have been friends with since before any children were born.  That family has a daughter my age so as little kids, I spent a lot of time at their house.

Except was I really afraid of her dad!  I sometimes dreaded going there because he scared me.  And I was pretty vocal about it, lol.  I told my friend I didn't like her dad on multiple occasions.  Not the most polite thing to do, but I was too little to know that.  I told my parents I didn't like him and that he was scary and mean.  Y'all seriously, he was a really nice man who never even raised his voice at me, lol.  But he has a gruff exterior and that was what scared me as a little kid.

I don't seem him very often since I moved to NOLA 25+ years ago.  But he always teases me (nicely) about it when I see him.  We've talked and laughed a little about it as adults.  He said he always felt so bad that I was scared, but didn't know what to do.  I've reassured him that it was nothing he ever did or at least not that I remember.  That I was a nervous kid who was a little afraid of most adults and for reasons I can't explain, I was especially afraid of him.

MyNameIsNot

Consider yourself lucky? The last thing I want to do is watch other people's kids. 

But seriously, if you want to build a relationship with them, instead of waiting to be asked to baby sit, offer to do something with the kids, like them to the zoo or a museum.

VarunaTT

Whew, I'd be happy about the out.  Most people don't ask me unless they're desparate, b/c they know I'm just not that kid friendly.  I have stepped up to help before and it's been fine, but I wouldn't want to be first one anyone's list.

levioosa

VarunaTT said:

Whew, I'd be happy about the out.  Most people don't ask me unless they're desparate, b/c they know I'm just not that kid friendly.  I have stepped up to help before and it's been fine, but I wouldn't want to be first one anyone's list.

Right? I was sitting here reading LWs letter like wow, what a relief you’re never asked. Lol