Leave him be. Harping on this won't get you anywhere.
Dear Prudence,
Like most old men, my father grew increasingly fixed in his ideas over the years. After my mother died, he spent a lot of time alone binge-watching the kind of television you would rather your elderly relatives didn’t have access to and drawing inwards. My younger brother decided he had the solution and managed to persuade the old man to take psilocybin and, later, MDMA. My dad LOVED it and there’s no denying that he’s considerably nicer ever since.
But he’s now gone down a psychedelic rabbit hole. We’re talking about ayahuasca retreats in Peru, psytrance festivals in Spain, and an ibogaine “awakening.” There are parts of this that I love for him, he’s undeniably happier, but I am terrified of the health and legal risks. I’m also incredibly angry with my brother, who I feel has been very irresponsible. I’ve tried talking to both of them but they just blow me off and my father has angrily told me that he’s happy and it’s his life to live (honestly, he sounded like my teen self). Should I just drop this and let it be? Or do I have a responsibility to be the grown-up here?
—Not His Mom
Re: Leave him be. Harping on this won't get you anywhere.
I'm torn on this one. Like no, I'm not a fan of regular drug use, however it honestly seems like he is mentally and physically doing much better than he was before. Now, could Zoloft have also helped? Who knows (or maybe he did try meds and they didn't help). But at this point it sounds like the financial risks are overtaking the physical ones, and that is understandably concerning. Because those environments do become ripe for people with less than savory intentions to flock to, and when you're under the influence, you're obviously much more suggestible. But otherwise? He's not really harming anyone else?
He's an old man. He is very clear that he has a finite amount of time left, and he'd rather spend it tripping balls at burning man than watching fox news. Stop being a kill joy.
I also feel like there is NO WAY he's suited for mind altering substances and they'll only make his anxiety worse. With his luck he'll eat his first brownie and instead of getting hungry he'll have a panic attack.
I would need to do a lot of Googling to understand all the words in this letter. I initially thought MDMA was a fighting style. But then when you were all using it in the context of a drug, I realized I was confusing the initials with MMA, lmao.
At any rate, the LW needs to let this go. Their dad is happy. He's traveling the world in his twilight years. We should all be that lucky! Life is SO short and while it can be hard for the LW to face, their dad is coming to the end of his no matter what he does.
Maybe the drugs or the lifestyle will hasten that end. But I know I'd rather cut a few years off my life if it meant I could live the last 5-10 years to the fullest, instead of sitting in my house watching angry news shows and having nothing to look forward to.